Waiting period for change of child support

[nextwife]

Nah. It's Halloween. I want candy corn.

 

[FJ1200guy]

Just candy corn? Heck, fair enough! But what about those little sweettart thingys? Maybe some little hershey snack candy bars? Hmmmmmm why do I feel like I'm offering a bribe?

 

[kel4377]

Well, I talked to one of the case workers at the Child Support Enforcement Unit today and she said the CP can petition anytime for a modification, but the CSEU doesn't have to help her, because normally there's a 2 year waiting period from when the order is put in or modified, so the judge can listen to her, but they won't necessarily change anything.

 

[lyndi&kaylee]

dont down the mom who's asking for an increase. the way i look at it, if two people have a child and cant stay as a family the way God intended, they should do their best to keep the child's life at the same financial level it would be if the parents were married. this increase in support could be used to live in a nicer area, put some in savings for college, etc, be able to afford nicer things(toys, clothes, etc), enroll the child in extra activities - dancing karate, etc. Raising a child is very expensive and both dad and mom should be HAPPY to give all they can to make life easier and more enjoyable for their children. having separated parents is hard enough, especially when they dont get along. i say let her have her increase and be happy that your husband is going to be able to provide more for his child than before. trust me if my ex ever gets a raise i want my daughter to get an increase. maybe the "mom doesnt deserve more", but the child always does!!!

 

[haiku]

dont down the mom who's asking for an increase. the way i look at it, if two people have a child and cant stay as a family the way God intended, they should do their best to keep the child's life at the same financial level it would be if the parents were married. this increase in support could be used to live in a nicer area, put some in savings for college, etc, be able to afford nicer things(toys, clothes, etc), enroll the child in extra activities - dancing karate, etc. Raising a child is very expensive and both dad and mom should be HAPPY to give all they can to make life easier and more enjoyable for their children. having separated parents is hard enough, especially when they dont get along. i say let her have her increase and be happy that your husband is going to be able to provide more for his child than before. trust me if my ex ever gets a raise i want my daughter to get an increase. maybe the "mom doesnt deserve more", but the child always does!!!

And who is to say that dad doesn't provide extra anyway, without getting dragged into court every time he seems to be making more.

Quite frankly, after support, my husband still takes care of his kids. And there is NO WAY, that those kids are going to be raised in the same financial comfort they had before the divorce happened. That is highly unrealistic. ALL of us had to tighten our belts and think "out of the box" to become financially independant. As a woman, to depend on child support as the only way you can live someplace nicer or give your kid karate is selling yourself way short.

I don't think think the OP wants to deny the child anything, just wants to know what the rules are, and whether mom has grounds yet t request an increase.

It wastes EVERYONES time and money to go back to court on suspicion.

 

[FJ1200guy]

Ahhhhhhh naivety...

Lyndie&Kaylee.... sigh.... my mind agrees with you...

My heart says ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!! If what you say is true.... why not LOWER the support when a mans income goes down? Sorry, I'm with Haiku on this. Forget the law, women LOVE sucking the life blood out of some poor ******* they believe "wronged" them in some oft-imagined way. Forget it takes 2 for a relationship to fail, women always... 9 times out of 10 anyways.. blame the man! So guess what? HE is gonna PAY!!! Either by making visiting his child such a pain in the ass he finally gives up (then she will say "oh I always encourage him to visit her, I never keep the child from him") or by making it so that when he does get to spend time with the child... he can barely afford a McHappyfrikkin'meal!
"Child support" my ass... we ALL know it's actually alimony in a different form!

Now I will sit back and watch the replies.

Lyle(keep in mind there are always 2 sides)theFJguy

 

[stealth2]

Re: Ahhhhhhh naivety...

Oh f*ckin' hell.... I was just starting to like you, FJ. The fact of the matter is that there are just as many crappy fathers as mothers. On both sides of the CP/NCP fence.

 

[FJ1200guy]

Well.... in all honesty? Probably more crappy Dads. I was just giving a small point of view... It's hard to always type he/she, or husband/wife...

Don't hate me yet. Give me more time.

 

[stealth2]

Well.... in all honesty? Probably more crappy Dads. I was just giving a small point of view... It's hard to always type he/she, or husband/wife...

Don't hate me yet. Give me more time.

Phhhht.

 

[FJ1200guy]

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeey...

Aw c'mon.... a don't deserve a phhhhht, do I? Maybe a pffft....

 

[haiku]

well now that this has degenerated from law to 'debate" I have to say I came to the realization long ago, that you cannot separate the crappy people into just dads or just moms, and just custodial or non custodial. 'Crappy' people are crappy people, it did not take parenthood or divorce to make them that way. Some of us are just dumb enough to have kids with them, and then they become your cross to bear.

A crappy non custodial parent is likely to be just as crappy a custodial and vice-versa. Same goes for step parents and parents. I KNOW my 'evil' custodial mom, is going to make a HELL of an 'evil' step-mom, for some other un-suspecting custodial mom. LOL

once you realize this, and move on, life becomes much simpler and happier.

 

[stealth2]

Hurrah, haiku! (I love alliteration!)

 

[chatkat]

I am a wife, I am an ex-wife, I am a mother and I am a step mother. I have been married a few times (not bragging) and my first childs father was only court ordered $150.00 a month. He did not pay a dime for several years and when the state finally caught up with him, and wanted the base support + half of the arrears, he filed hardship. Can you believe that low life!!!! My daughter is 20 years old now and the state is still going after him. According to the states calculations, he is still in the arrears by $7800.00. Concerning him filing hardship. This is a man who owns a home, has remarried and had 3 children with his 2nd wife, who baby-sits for 7 or 8 kids and doesn't claim any of that income. If he was so hard up that he can't afford $150.00 a month, then he sure as H*** has no business have 3 more kids!!!
My second childs father is only ordered to pay $300.00 a month. The only reason it is that high..lol is because she has a disability. He makes enough money now, that he should be paying $600.00 to $800.00 a month, but I have never taken him to court for more. That is not the way I am. At least my second daughter is lucky enough to have a close relationship to her dad and step mother. She is very close to them and her brother and sisters at their home.
Look at me rambling on... You see this is a pet peeve of mine!!! My husbands ex-wife not only get 50% of his income, we pay for insurance, and 50% of deduct and co-pays, plus it cost us in the neighborhood of $8000.00 plus a year just to act on my husbands visitation. His kids are out of state and we pay 100% of the travel. Two of his children wear glasses and because mom doesn't teach her children right from wrong, she lets them loose or trash their glasses to the point that she has to buy 3 or more pair a year for each child. The insurance only pays for lenses one a year and frames every two years. Both of the children are also on Medicaid (through mom, who doesn't work and lives off the money she get for the kids) Mom refuses to get glasses that medicaid will pay for stating that they are not good enough for her children. In Feb this year she sent us bills for glasses that totaled $1000.00, after insurance paid their part the balance was around $600.00. Our part of that was $300.00, plus some other bills that she sent. This was just before we would spend over $2000.00 to see the kids for Feb visitation. We are scheduled to have the children for Thanksgiving, and I just mailed final payment for another pair of glasses for the kids which she just sent to us last month.

So reference back to FJ's comment.
HE is gonna PAY!!! Either by making visiting his child such a pain in the ass he finally gives up (then she will say "oh I always encourage him to visit her, I never keep the child from him") or by making it so that when he does get to spend time with the child... he can barely afford a McHappyfrikkin'meal!
"Child support" my ass... we ALL know it's actually alimony in a different form!

Just remember that not all ex-wives are like that, Just most of them.

Sorry for the rage!!! I just have real issues with Ex-wives!!!!! H*** I have issues with Ex-husbands too!!!
Chat: sorry this is so long.. Hope I don't get kicked out!

 

[stealth2]

Thing is, ck, for every mother like you're dealing with, there's a father like I'm dealing with. I'm not going to go into all the details, but he pays well below guideline (with a mid-six figure income) and has never been asked to pay a red cent above that. I find a way to pay for the extras because I refuse to ask him for anything more. Yet he takes his step kids on pricey trips and tells out kids that he can't take them because I bleed him dry. Nuh uh.

There's always a story from the other side as bad as yours. Maybe we should stop pointing fingers and think about the kids.

 

[nextwife]

AS a step mom, when we go on what may appear to be a pricey Caribbean trip with our daughter, it is I who shops the bargain fares and I who pays for it. I don't understand this presumption by CPs that everything their ex's step kid gets is money taken from their kids. I work to significantly support our household and my kids, as a very good chunk of DHs income goes toward his over-age 18 son, and I have every right to buy us a vacation together if I wish. Just as his ex has the right to spend her money as she sees fit.

Sorry, but I keep hearing the CPs complain how he must be hiding income because "they live in a $250,000 house" or "they have two cars" or whatever. What are we wives, chopped liver? Why is it so hard to understand that plenty of woman have fully self-supportive incomes, and what we have or don't have has NOTHING to do with our husband's or their incomes?