Want to teach daughter that " the grass is not greener on the other side"

[Dluvr22]

Thank You TigerD.

As others stated earlier I am not the father so for the last couple of years I have stood by helplessly and watched her mother try to hash it out on her own.
That has not worked out and gotten us to this point. All I asked for was advice and hoped people would understand my situation.
I personally don't go around calling the police when a 10 year old misbehaves however I live in a town-home and have neighbors and her temper tantrums and screaming and knocking on the walls has resulted in multiple situations where the neighbors have called the police over. Social Services have been involved and they are aware of the situation as well and to date I have never overstepped my boundaries in the relationship.

If I was doing anything untoward or not expected of me, I believe social services would have made a point of that by now however my fear is that if we let this go on it will only get worse over time and that is why we are trying to consider other option

 

[Dluvr22]

And in Minnesota??? (Where I live and spent several years working in social services and child support.)

If Mom decides to allow the child to live with Dad for "a year", then Dad will have every right to petition the courts for a legal change in custody based on the change in the child's residence. And it would be likely to be granted once the child has lived with Dad long enough to establish status quo.

Mom will not be able to file for a change of custody after a year, just because she agreed to "only a year." Grounds for filing would include a significant change of circumstances in the child's life, not mom's wishes or whims.

Or yours.

Many thanks CSO286.
Thanks for taking the time to read my post and respond to my question.
Maybe I should not have gone on about my current situation however I will relay the information to her mother so she can choose what action to take.

 

[Ladyback1]

Thank You TigerD.

As others stated earlier I am not the father so for the last couple of years I have stood by helplessly and watched her mother try to hash it out on her own.
That has not worked out and gotten us to this point. All I asked for was advice and hoped people would understand my situation.
I personally don't go around calling the police when a 10 year old misbehaves however I live in a town-home and have neighbors and her temper tantrums and screaming and knocking on the walls has resulted in multiple situations where the neighbors have called the police over. Social Services have been involved and they are aware of the situation as well and to date I have never overstepped my boundaries in the relationship.

If I was doing anything untoward or not expected of me, I believe social services would have made a point of that by now however my fear is that if we let this go on it will only get worse over time and that is why we are trying to consider other option

Hey...instead of shipping her off and abandoning her (and whether that is what you are doing or not? I'm pretty sure that is how she would feel), you get her in counseling/therapy?

There is no lesson to be taught by sending her to dad's. And if you believe there is, then you have no clue about kids.
Do you often throw away or abandon human beings that don't conform?

 

[Silverplum]

Thank You TigerD.

As others stated earlier I am not the father so for the last couple of years I have stood by helplessly and watched her mother try to hash it out on her own.
That has not worked out and gotten us to this point. All I asked for was advice and hoped people would understand my situation.
I personally don't go around calling the police when a 10 year old misbehaves however I live in a town-home and have neighbors and her temper tantrums and screaming and knocking on the walls has resulted in multiple situations where the neighbors have called the police over. Social Services have been involved and they are aware of the situation as well and to date I have never overstepped my boundaries in the relationship.

If I was doing anything untoward or not expected of me, I believe social services would have made a point of that by now however my fear is that if we let this go on it will only get worse over time and that is why we are trying to consider other option

The bolded is the result of some seriously out-of-control "parenting."

 

[TigerD]

The bolded is the result of some seriously out-of-control "parenting."

Not necessarily. It could also be cries for help from an unbalanced child in need of counseling and therapy.

TD