What consequences could i face?

[MichaCA]

My initial response was going to be something like whatever happens in court later will reflect your dedication to your kids.

You mention "...so I can't throw my life away..."

If spending time on weekends with your children constitutes throwing your life away, why even ask should you or not? Obviously your priorities are NOT your children...no judgement intended, thats just where you are at.


But please don't come back later with schemes as to how to get more visitation with your child, thats just not honest or fair to your kids, or your ex who apparentely is dedicated to giving them stability and care and love.

I will admit, I would do ANYTHING to have more time with my daughter...I love every hour I have her...even with the ups and downs. But some moms' just arent' ready to really parent, yet.

 

[frylover]

Holy hell almighty!

This OP could be my ex-wife. Seriously. The last time she decided to chase boyfriend to MI, she didn't tell the kids. She emailed my wife AFTER she got to MI and TOLD my wife to let the kids know that she wouldn't be seeing them for awhile.

OP, you want to know what running off will do to your kids? I've got 3 of them, and their mom does this kind of crap to them 2 - 3 times per year.

At first, it would really upset them. They would cry that they missed mommy. It was absolutely heart-breaking.

Now? They would rather not have anything to do with her. The 15 year old has said flat out that their mom only wants to be "mom" when it's convenient for her, or she's going to get something out of it.

Pull this kind of crap on your kids too many times, and when they can legally cut contact with you, they will. Mark my words. I still have to force my kids to see their mom (on the rare occasions that she even wants them for her visitation), and the 2 oldest have said that once they turn 18, they're done.

And that's just really sad. Sad for the kids. They have a great relationship with their step-mom (my wife), but she will never be their mom.

So that's what you risk. Is it worth it to you?

This is SUCH a great post, 2M!

It seems like everyone is so often so quick to blame the CP because the NCP and kids have a crappy relationship. Like, if the CP just worked harder and tried harder, everything would be OK..that somehow, it MUST be the CP's fault things suck. Sometimes the NCP manages to screw up their relationship with their kids all by their little selves!

I can't fathom how anyone could take off with a significant other and not have any idea how long they'll be gone or show any concern for how the disappearing act will affect their kids!

 

[cyjeff]

Op, allow me to add this.

The moments that your children ARE children are precious, fleeting and to be treasured.

Every one you trade for a moment doing anything else is a loss to you and them. And one that you can never get back.

Your want to have a life is normal. If it is a "one or the other" situation, I vote for the children.

A good man will understand. A great man will help. A man you should keep in your life will look at you like a dog staring at a radio if you don't.

 

[Ohiogal]

you all do not know what i have been put through and what i continue to go through so what you are saying about who i am is very low. i have a life and my kids i only get on some weekends, so i cant throw my life away i have to move on and thats what im trying to do. i can only do so much because of my court order and until i can change that, i have to live my life. you dont know what i have gone through with all this!

Quite frankly choose your boyfriend over your children. YOU are making a CHOICE. Don't make excuses. There are consequences.

 

[cyjeff]

Quite frankly choose your boyfriend over your children. YOU are making a CHOICE. Don't make excuses. There are consequences.

Very LONG term consequences.

Legally, emotionally and ethically.

 

[summerdawn]

you all do not know what i have been put through and what i continue to go through so what you are saying about who i am is very low. i have a life and my kids i only get on some weekends, so i cant throw my life away i have to move on and thats what im trying to do. i can only do so much because of my court order and until i can change that, i have to live my life. you dont know what i have gone through with all this!

You can live your life while still having all of your visits. It seems to me that you have plenty of time to live your life while being NCP and still getting all of your parenting time in as well. Why would you want to miss out on your childrens' lives? How long have you been with this guy? You may end up having things not work out with him and you will never be able to regain the moments you gave up with your children...

 

[CourtClerk]

Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition.....

Quotable... and worthy of making my siggy. This just made me spit out my lemonade. You know, I just got this monitor yesterday.....

 

[Antigone*]

Quotable... and worthy of making my siggy. This just made me spit out my lemonade. You know, I just got this monitor yesterday.....[/QUOTE]

Join the club...Cyjeff did that to me yesterday except mine was coffee, or was that the day before...I dont' know...he was on a roll

 

[profmum]

Op, allow me to add this.

The moments that your children ARE children are precious, fleeting and to be treasured.


A good man will understand. A great man will help. A man you should keep in your life will look at you like a dog staring at a radio if you don't.

Bravo! very well said!!

 

[wileybunch]

Quotable... and worthy of making my siggy. This just made me spit out my lemonade.

Me, too.

A good man will understand. A great man will help. A man you should keep in your life will look at you like a dog staring at a radio if you don't.

Exactly.

So the reality is if you go with this man, you're not only tossing your kids aside for a man, but a crappy man at that.

 

[askingforhelp]

How long can I be gone

Ok, please don't go off on me again, I AM planning to return back to Kansas City with my boyfriend. He has agreed to drive back with me when his contract is over. So my question is how long can I stay with him out of state before my ex can go to court for abandonment, because I know he'll do everything he can against me.

Thanks for help.

 

[momofrose]

Ok, please don't go off on me again, I AM planning to return back to Kansas City with my boyfriend. He has agreed to drive back with me when his contract is over. So my question is how long can I stay with him out of state before my ex can go to court for abandonment, because I know he'll do everything he can against me.

Thanks for help.

No - the question is - how long can you stand to be away from your own kids?

 

[proud_parent]

No - the question is - how long can you stand to be away from your own kids?

My prediction: until OP and her boyfriend break up. Once this fine romance fizzles, she'll need a new emotional crutch -- and who better to fill the void than her children, right?

 

[cmtx2]

Ok, please don't go off on me again, I AM planning to return back to Kansas City with my boyfriend. He has agreed to drive back with me when his contract is over. So my question is how long can I stay with him out of state before my ex can go to court for abandonment, because I know he'll do everything he can against me.

Thanks for help.

If you are seriously asking this question then your ex has every reason to protect your children from you. Maybe you aren't abusing them physically, but what you are doing is hurting them nonetheless. No BF is worth leaving your children over and if you were so concerned about seeing your children and remaining in their lives, then you would've told the BF to go w/out you. Instead, you are asking the volunteers on here how much you can get away with before you're in trouble. Re think your priorities!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You sound so much like my ex that I should introduce the two of you.

 

[AHA]

Ok, please don't go off on me again, I AM planning to return back to Kansas City with my boyfriend. He has agreed to drive back with me when his contract is over. So my question is how long can I stay with him out of state before my ex can go to court for abandonment, because I know he'll do everything he can against me.

Thanks for help.

So why don't you just stay close to your kids, and wait for bf to come to you?
The fact that bf is apparently in support of your plan of leaving your kids speaks VOLUMES about his character. Probably not the best candidate for a future stepdad.
Your only concern is what dad can do to you legally, you don't even mention a concern about disappearing from your kids! Why did you even have kids at all if they are so irrelevant to you????