usmcfamily
Senior Member
Have any of us mentioned lately what a thankless job it is for us to spend part of our time here trying to assist others by sharing our knowledge of the law in order to provide them an opportunity to defend/assist themselves? That having been said -- if you had actaully read my post instead of simply reacting to it you would have noticed the information I provided was that your fiancee is paying MORE than he HAS to ---- which was your question in the first place --- so how that was an attack on either of you I don't know. As to being spiteful you couldn't be further from the truth as I have been on both sides of these very situations and know what it feels like -- in the light of that I was simply trying to get you to see that you need to look at this as it is a situation which you will be dealing with for the rest of your life if you do marry this man....it likely won't get better, just wanted you to see that before you made any final decisions. If you do marry him (and I hope you will as you obviously care about him very much) you will be dealing with this for a very long time - just be prepared for that.
As you get more frustrated and more of the story comes out there are some other avenues your fiancee could be taking (wish you had mentioned the fact that he has them the majority of the time without having to be p***ed off first cuz that does change things a bit).....as you stated that he has them more then I would suggest that he consider petitioning the courts for a change in custody. He needs to start documenting all the time that he is caring for the children and have that ready to take to court to prove that he is acting as the primary parent -- also take proof (please tell me he didn't give her cash -- and if he has tell him NEVER NEVER NEVER again -- checks give him proof of payment) of payment of ALL the monies he has paid (especially that above/beyond his ordered support) to her for their support so that he can show his parental responsibility.
As you mentioned financial problems I suggest he find a father's rights advocacy group (the internet is full of them) in your area and contact them for legal assistance -- they have excellent attorneys who work in exactly this type of situation and will help at reduced rates/payment plans and most of all are VERY familiar with specific law regarding a father's rights.
So, do you see how much more help we can be when we have the whole story?
One last note, though, as to my being spiteful -- from your last post I would say that is a bit of "pot and kettle" logic coming from you as I am not the one railing about a "15 year old boyfriend" etc.....I point that out not to pick a fight but simply to be able to offer you one last piece of advice -- if this does go to court please remember you will be considered as a reflection on your man try to curb the emotional reactions while there so it doesn't end up hurting his case. I am not saying you are wrong - and Lord knows that these situations are full of stress and strong emotion, just try to control it when it matters...it will do wonders for your fiancee's case. And as you are a soon to be step-mom please remember kids hear/understand a lot more than we give them credit for and don't need to hear their mother spoken ill of (no matter how true it is)....they will figure out the truth for themselves as time goes by.
Good luck and God Bless
As you get more frustrated and more of the story comes out there are some other avenues your fiancee could be taking (wish you had mentioned the fact that he has them the majority of the time without having to be p***ed off first cuz that does change things a bit).....as you stated that he has them more then I would suggest that he consider petitioning the courts for a change in custody. He needs to start documenting all the time that he is caring for the children and have that ready to take to court to prove that he is acting as the primary parent -- also take proof (please tell me he didn't give her cash -- and if he has tell him NEVER NEVER NEVER again -- checks give him proof of payment) of payment of ALL the monies he has paid (especially that above/beyond his ordered support) to her for their support so that he can show his parental responsibility.
As you mentioned financial problems I suggest he find a father's rights advocacy group (the internet is full of them) in your area and contact them for legal assistance -- they have excellent attorneys who work in exactly this type of situation and will help at reduced rates/payment plans and most of all are VERY familiar with specific law regarding a father's rights.
So, do you see how much more help we can be when we have the whole story?
One last note, though, as to my being spiteful -- from your last post I would say that is a bit of "pot and kettle" logic coming from you as I am not the one railing about a "15 year old boyfriend" etc.....I point that out not to pick a fight but simply to be able to offer you one last piece of advice -- if this does go to court please remember you will be considered as a reflection on your man try to curb the emotional reactions while there so it doesn't end up hurting his case. I am not saying you are wrong - and Lord knows that these situations are full of stress and strong emotion, just try to control it when it matters...it will do wonders for your fiancee's case. And as you are a soon to be step-mom please remember kids hear/understand a lot more than we give them credit for and don't need to hear their mother spoken ill of (no matter how true it is)....they will figure out the truth for themselves as time goes by.
Good luck and God Bless
