What kind of rights does a parent have?

[LiveLoveLife]

What is the name of your state? California

When Child Protective Service removed my children from my ex husband home due to the fact CPS felt the kids were not safe due to his drinking abuse and verbal/emotional abuse.

Superior Court Judge orderd my ex to complete 4 diffirent programs before he would make a hearing deciding if he would arrange a visitation schedule. My ex was totally uncooperative and infact stated to the judge and Chid Support Officer that he would not do anything any court told him to do and he didn't. In fact he didn't even show up to the last hearing, that was very sad for my children.

Anyway the Judge terminated the case and made NO visitation schedule and said If the girls wanted to see him I would be the one to monitor the visits. That my ex would have to open up a new case and proving why he should see the children again. I was told my by girls lawyer that my ex would have to show proof that he did some of these programs.

That my ex has no rights anymore, however according to my ex lawyer he does still have right thats why I ask what kind. My ex seems to think he's above the law and thats why he even stated the kids could see him when they turn 18. But his lawyer said I still need to inform him when I take the kids to the doctor, counseling etc. But my kids lawyer said NO, the only rights my ex has is that he still a father to them and thats it. As far as what school they go to, what doctor is none of his business. Please infrom me of your thoughts of this.

Thank you

My question is what kind of rights does my ex still have?

 

[majomom1]

My ex seems to think he's above the law and thats why he even stated the kids could see him when they turn 18

Your ex is right on this one. The kids can see him when they turn 18.

As far as the rest, you will need to tell us what the order states for custody. You said that the judge order "NO visitation".. but did he change the custody?

If your ex still has any custody, then yes he does have some rights regarding school, doctors and such...

 

[LiveLoveLife]

In the final orders it states that I have full 100% custody, phyical and primary. My ex was abusive and he didn't want to go to all the programs that was orderd of him. He felt drinking and his drugs was more important than having his children in his life

I was told his rights is that he's still considered their father but other than that nothing.

Is this true?

The Judge was not happy as to what my ex said to him, my ex said he refuses to do any Dog or Pony show for anyone and the Judge actuallly announced that in court Like I said my ex didnt even show up to the last hearing.

My documents only saids that we are both responsibable 50/50 for any uncovered medical, dental or counseling bills. It does not say I have to inform him of every time I take my children to the doctor or change schools. According to my lawyer I don't have to inform him of nothing for he has no rights to these children anymore. But my ex seems to think diffirently.

I'm in the process of going to court because he refuses to pay me half of the medical bills I've had to pay. My ex has been notified for the past two years, I've had to send all the bills, invoices to my ex lawyer and NO reply no response what so ever. So what am I to do. Everytime I've tried to talk to my ex about some of the bills he saids to me talk to my lawyer but his lawyer is not very nice at all and refuses to cooperate with me, even my previous lawayer indicated my ex lawyer was a difficult one.

So you see my dilima, it does not make sense to me to ask him permission if I need to take my girls to counseling when it was already orderd, or to get a teeth filing. Also my ex recieves all the statements from the Doctors so he does no of everything. But do I need to do more?

 

[LdiJ]

In the final orders it states that I have full 100% custody, phyical and primary. My ex was abusive and he didn't want to go to all the programs that was orderd of him. He felt drinking and his drugs was more important than having his children in his life

I was told his rights is that he's still considered their father but other than that nothing.

Is this true?

The Judge was not happy as to what my ex said to him, my ex said he refuses to do any Dog or Pony show for anyone and the Judge actuallly announced that in court Like I said my ex didnt even show up to the last hearing.

My documents only saids that we are both responsibable 50/50 for any uncovered medical, dental or counseling bills. It does not say I have to inform him of every time I take my children to the doctor or change schools. According to my lawyer I don't have to inform him of nothing for he has no rights to these children anymore. But my ex seems to think diffirently.

I'm in the process of going to court because he refuses to pay me half of the medical bills I've had to pay. My ex has been notified for the past two years, I've had to send all the bills, invoices to my ex lawyer and NO reply no response what so ever. So what am I to do. Everytime I've tried to talk to my ex about some of the bills he saids to me talk to my lawyer but his lawyer is not very nice at all and refuses to cooperate with me, even my previous lawayer indicated my ex lawyer was a difficult one.

So you see my dilima, it does not make sense to me to ask him permission if I need to take my girls to counseling when it was already orderd, or to get a teeth filing. Also my ex recieves all the statements from the Doctors so he does no of everything. But do I need to do more?

You have full legal custody therefore you do not need his permission to do anything at all. You are also not required to inform him of anything.

However, under federal law he does have the right to access the children's medical and educational records, but it is up to him to obtain that information, not you to give it to him.

 

[CourtClerk]

Sole legal custody means that one parent has the right and responsibility to make the decisions relating to the health, education and welfare of the child(ren).

Sole physical custody means that the child(ren) resides with and is under the supervision of one parent.

Even if one party has sole legal and/or physical suctody, the noncustodial parent cannot be denied access to records and information regarding the child, including medical, dental and school records, because the parent is not the custodial parent.

But your ex is right. The kids can do/see whoever they want when they turn 18.


ETA: I would be very careful to say he has no "rights" to the children. He does have rights, they are just limited.

 

[majomom1]

ETA: I would be very careful to say he has no "rights" to the children. He does have rights, they are just limited.

I agree with this! I would never want anyone to say I had no rights to my children, but then again, I would jump through hoops or anything the court told me to do, just to make sure.

we are both responsibable 50/50 for any uncovered medical, dental or counseling bills.

Because of this... I would at least notify him. You don't need his "ok", but since he is responsible for half the cost, it will look really good on you, to notify him. Then he cannot say he did not know about it etc... So just call him. When he says to call his lawyer just say ok and hang up. You do not have to contact his lawyer at all, so don't. His lawyer is difficult because he isn't responsible, and he doesn't have any control over your ex either... so don't even waste your energy there.

Some doctors/dentist will accept your portion of the bill and then bill your ex. I have done that before. So, have your papers with you and explain it all to them. Ask them to put his name as a responsible party for payment, pay your portion and let them bill him for the rest. If they know up front... some will help you so that you are not always the one out the entire expense. They will go after him and you don't have to worry about it.

 

[CLBKLCDTB]

In the final orders it states that I have full 100% custody, phyical and primary. My ex was abusive and he didn't want to go to all the programs that was orderd of him. He felt drinking and his drugs was more important than having his children in his life

I was told his rights is that he's still considered their father but other than that nothing.

Is this true?

The Judge was not happy as to what my ex said to him, my ex said he refuses to do any Dog or Pony show for anyone and the Judge actuallly announced that in court Like I said my ex didnt even show up to the last hearing.

My documents only saids that we are both responsibable 50/50 for any uncovered medical, dental or counseling bills. It does not say I have to inform him of every time I take my children to the doctor or change schools. According to my lawyer I don't have to inform him of nothing for he has no rights to these children anymore. But my ex seems to think diffirently.

I'm in the process of going to court because he refuses to pay me half of the medical bills I've had to pay. My ex has been notified for the past two years, I've had to send all the bills, invoices to my ex lawyer and NO reply no response what so ever. So what am I to do. Everytime I've tried to talk to my ex about some of the bills he saids to me talk to my lawyer but his lawyer is not very nice at all and refuses to cooperate with me, even my previous lawayer indicated my ex lawyer was a difficult one.

So you see my dilima, it does not make sense to me to ask him permission if I need to take my girls to counseling when it was already orderd, or to get a teeth filing. Also my ex recieves all the statements from the Doctors so he does no of everything. But do I need to do more?

I would say. each and every time dad gets in your face., tell him to take you to court.

You are mom, if yout think your children need counsiling...take them.
Continhuue to do everything and anything you think you should as mom.

Dad screwed himself as far as his rights by getting the children taken away by CPS. The judge took away dads rights to visitation.. It is up to dad to get his rights back.

Visitation and support are two different things. He will still have to pay for his children.

As far as notifing him on doctors, counsiling, school ect. ....Be the bigger person and do that.

From the sounds of it, dad is only bytching about "those rights "to have something to bytch about. Don't argue. Just be the bigger person. Eventually it will blow over and he won't even ask anymore. (seen it happen in cases like thix)

Besides, showing him how the children thrive without his drinking and abuse in their lives might wake him up. If not, well then guess the judge made a good decision.

As far as the children seeing him at 18. It will be their choice. All you can do in the meantime is get them into counsiling and help them understand their father has to change on his own. They can't change him. It's not their fault he is the way he is.

 

[CourtClerk]

Some doctors/dentist will accept your portion of the bill and then bill your ex. I have done that before. So, have your papers with you and explain it all to them. Ask them to put his name as a responsible party for payment, pay your portion and let them bill him for the rest. If they know up front... some will help you so that you are not always the one out the entire expense. They will go after him and you don't have to worry about it.

While I agree partially with this statement (call it the control freak in me), I would be very leary of this because in the event that the OP's doctor/dentist isn't as nice as yours, it risks her not being able to continue whatever the course of treatment is for the child.

For instance, my ex is responsible for 50% of unreimbursed medical/dental bills. My son is getting ready for orthodontia, should he not pay his half, quite honestly, I would EXPECT the dental office to not continue his care. Therefore, where this is concerned, I will pay the complete amount and ask that his half be sent to me. That way, I ensure that my child has the care he needs regardless of whether or not dad pays (which he will inevitably not). The doctor/dentist does not have to get involved in our legal issues, he just wants to be paid for services.

 

[Bloopy]

When you go to any medical appointment someone needs to sign as the guarantor. You go, you sign, you promise to pay. Your ex owes you. Most places are willing to send a bill to another parent, just as they are willing to send a bill to the insurance company. But if the insurance or the other parent refuses or simply doesn’t pay, you are still the guarantor and stuck with the balance. If the folks at the doctor’s office are super nice (but even nice docs may have a not so nice billing service) maybe they’ll waive that balance or continue to send daddy bills. But ultimately its up to you to pay and fight to get the money owed back. It’s not the doc’s fault. Sucks to be the bigger parent.

 

[majomom1]

While I agree partially with this statement (call it the control freak in me), I would be very leary of this because in the event that the OP's doctor/dentist isn't as nice as yours, it risks her not being able to continue whatever the course of treatment is for the child.

courtclerk... I completely agree with that. I have been fortunate so far, and I don't have continuing care that racks up the dollars. There has only been one that would not work with me... I told them up front that if he did not pay... then I would. I followed through on that one each month... and I eventually paid it.

But ultimately its up to you to pay and fight to get the money owed back. It’s not the doc’s fault. Sucks to be the bigger parent.

bloopy... you are right. It is not the doctors fault. And as I stated previously... I spoke to them first... I asked them up front. There was only one that would not help and I paid them in full.

They will work with you when they can... because they do care about the kids. Also note that I do not have any continuing care issues with my kids... so I did not have large bills all over the place. For normal routine stuff.... doctors will work with you when they can. And their bill -- or collection agency carries a lot more weight than you do. A copy of the court order, and your "paid" portion of the bill, covers your butt as far as the "guarantor"... My ex has paid all of these, so far... and he has no case in court, against ME, to dispute them... so he pays them or they go on his credit, not mine. If I have to pay to get care for my kids... then I do, and I include all of the "statements" that my ex received too. You might still have to pay... but you can get some extra time if you need it too.

I disagree that it sucks to be the bigger parent.

I love being the bigger parent!!! and just like this legal advice forum... there are doctors/dentist and even attorneys that will help when it is about the kids.... All you have to do is ask...

 

[CourtClerk]

I agree. I LOVE being the bigger parent. It pays off in the end. When my son gets to be that NFL Wide Receiver/Engineer (so he can build roller coasters)/Attorney (so one day he can be like those cool judges mommy works with) dad will hate the day he decided to be the person he is.

Now... if someone wants to help foot the bill for the future football player/engineer/attorney (yeah, he wants to do all of that at the same time) who wants to go to USC to do all of this, I'd be most appreciative.

 

[majomom1]

Now... if someone wants to help foot the bill for the future football player/engineer/attorney (yeah, he wants to do all of that at the same time) who wants to go to USC to do all of this, I'd be most appreciative.

Courtclerk... Do I get free... front row tickets to the game?

 

[CourtClerk]

Courtclerk... Do I get free... front row tickets to the game?

You betcha And... I'll even invite you to the tailgate parties... Courtclerk is a great cook!

 

[majomom1]

Oooo... sign me up!! I love to tailgate!

I would rather give a $1 a month to you, for your kid... than give it to the utility company that never seems to help anyone.

 

[CourtClerk]

Well it seems that here in Cali, we have been fooled by the weatherman, so as long as he didn't want to be a meterologist, I would have been fine with whatever he wanted to be.

June and July we were still wearing sweaters because it was so cool out. We've had no rain in the last year (3 inches in LA the entire year - a record).

Now, this is what this weekend has looked like:

Severe heat warnings
Excessive heat warnings
Tornado watching
One tornado touching down (yes, in Southern California)
Rain and Hail in the desert
An earthquake this morning

2 more days of this then it's supposed to go back to the upper 70's. It's so hot, I'm thinking of canceling tomorrow's bbq.

Please send all $1 payments to:

CourtClerk's son has big dreams fund

Los Angeles, CA