Look, I know it sounds like everyone is picking on your but you are honestly coming across as if you expect your wife to be a 1950's housewife when you know she doesn't have the tools to do so AND without realizing that its an unrealistic expectation.
If you come across that way to us, how do you think you are going to come across to a judge? Your wife ran for a reason. Whether it was a valid reason or not it was still a reason. You can either continue to pretend that no reason existed and that she is the bad guy, or you can get ahead of things and acknowledge the reason and figure out where to go from there. Either trying to repair things between you or going for divorce and child custody.
From the things you have said here you are at least partially to blame...and maybe a bit more than partially. I don't for a minute believe that your wife, based on how your describe her, got that screwdriver out.