What should I expect from the courts?

[Chardog]

What is the name of your state? CA

I posted here a while ago, and had full custody of my son, but now I'm reduced to 2 days (friday and sunday) a week, sleeping over. My son stays at MY house from 7AM to 5PM, and I pay for my aunt to take care of my son ($700/mo). I make 18.50 an hour, and my son's mom makes 14.50 an hour. She pays $500 in rent at her own place.

What should I expect? I just got child support papers today.

Recently she stole 10K from me, which I am not sure how to get back, since her aunt was the mediator and kept the money for me.

I had requested parentage, which she REFUSED!, but now she wants child support.

I pay for my sons food AND milk and he has plenty of cloths.

should I get a lawyer?

 

[GrowUp!]

What is the name of your state? CA

I posted here a while ago, and had full custody of my son, but now I'm reduced to 2 days (friday and sunday) a week, sleeping over. My son stays at MY house from 7AM to 5PM, and I pay for my aunt to take care of my son ($700/mo). I make 18.50 an hour, and my son's mom makes 14.50 an hour. She pays $500 in rent at her own place.

What should I expect? I just got child support papers today.

Recently she stole 10K from me, which I am not sure how to get back, since her aunt was the mediator and kept the money for me.

I had requested parentage, which she REFUSED!, but now she wants child support.

I pay for my sons food AND milk and he has plenty of cloths.

should I get a lawyer?

Huh? If child support has been filed for, then parentage WILL be determined. Only RELEVANT factors will be taken into account for each parent's financial responsibility towards the child(ren).

W-2's, paystubs, cost of health care coverage (if avail) and child care.

 

[CJane]

https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=323404 <<< Back story.


According to your first thread here, you never had ANY custody of this child, and hadn't even established paternity.

So, I'm guessing, after mom became homeless someone pushed the envelope and y'all ended up in court?

What do you mean her aunt was the mediator?

You can't just 'request' a paternity test. You have to file for one through the courts.

Whether or not you hire an attorney is up to you. But two overnights per week, plus being able to choose the child's daycare provider, PLUS having him in the evenings after you're home from work and before mom picks him up, isn't that bad.

Is mom still 'forgetting' to pick him up?

 

[acmb05]

https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=323404 <<< Back story.


According to your first thread here, you never had ANY custody of this child, and hadn't even established paternity.

So, I'm guessing, after mom became homeless someone pushed the envelope and y'all ended up in court?

What do you mean her aunt was the mediator?

You can't just 'request' a paternity test. You have to file for one through the courts.

Whether or not you hire an attorney is up to you. But two overnights per week, plus being able to choose the child's daycare provider, PLUS having him in the evenings after you're home from work and before mom picks him up, isn't that bad.

Is mom still 'forgetting' to pick him up?

I thought the same thing until I went back and read about thier stupid "bank Game" He agreed to let his ex girlfirends Aunt hold all his money for him. Frankly unless you have receipts and a written contract saying she was just holding it for you then you just lost 10K

 

[stealth2]

should I get a lawyer?

What happened to the lawyer you had in June?

 

[Chardog]

yes, I dropped the lawyer and my retainer as well. She never had time for me and wouldnt reply to my emails, which werent a lot.

about the bank game issue, I loss 10K, which is a big loss, but I can deal with it. The only thing written I have is a note from the ex which states how much money her aunt is holding... I dont know how that would fly...

I'm not sure if I have any parental custody, but I did manage to get in our safe and take the birth cert. back. it's the state cert, not the hospital one.

So, I'm guessing, after mom became homeless someone pushed the envelope and y'all ended up in court?

that seems to be the case

I'm not so worried about parenity issues anymore because she is taking me to court, so that will be addressed as stated in the letter.

I just dont want to be taken to the cleaners on child support. It's that simple.

I already put out close to 900(food and child care) in my child monthly, and if anything, she should be paying me. My child is properly fed, and I also supply my ex the food made for my son... yes, the food is organic and made weekly and stored in disposable containers. I dont buy premade food for my son.

Huh? If child support has been filed for, then parentage WILL be determined. Only RELEVANT factors will be taken into account for each parent's financial responsibility towards the child(ren).

I originally REQUESTED for paternity from the ex, and she DENIED me of it. Now that she wants some money, she is requesting paternity and child support from me.

what I have done is kept a detailed log of every event that has happened on an excel spreadsheet. Hope it works out well for me. I will be going to barns and noble this weekend to get a book on pointers. If anyone has advice, help me out

 

[stealth2]

Don't expect to get any sort of monetary credit for preparing/providing organic food for the kid.

 

[Chardog]

I'm not asking to be compensated for good food, but is it possible I can counter sue child support from her?

I provide:

child care
diapers
food
milk
cloths

btw, can anyone recommend a good book regarding this issue?

 

[LdiJ]

No, its not possible for you to receive child support from her. Not as long as the child primarily lives with her.

If you want your aunt to continue to provide child care, you may have to continue paying her. Although you may get a portion of an average day care rate credited on your side of the cs calculation, and mom may be required to pay a portion of the daycare.

Once you are paying child support, you can easily stop providing diapers, food, milk clothes etc., for mom's house. Your child support covers that so you don't need to do it again. However, as Stealth already mentioned, if you want the child to have homemade organic food, then you are probably going to have to continue to pay for that yourself.

 

[casa]

yes, I dropped the lawyer and my retainer as well. She never had time for me and wouldnt reply to my emails, which werent a lot.

about the bank game issue, I loss 10K, which is a big loss, but I can deal with it. The only thing written I have is a note from the ex which states how much money her aunt is holding... I dont know how that would fly...

I'm not sure if I have any parental custody, but I did manage to get in our safe and take the birth cert. back. it's the state cert, not the hospital one.


that seems to be the case

I'm not so worried about parenity issues anymore because she is taking me to court, so that will be addressed as stated in the letter.

I just dont want to be taken to the cleaners on child support. It's that simple.

I already put out close to 900(food and child care) in my child monthly, and if anything, she should be paying me. My child is properly fed, and I also supply my ex the food made for my son... yes, the food is organic and made weekly and stored in disposable containers. I dont buy premade food for my son.


I originally REQUESTED for paternity from the ex, and she DENIED me of it. Now that she wants some money, she is requesting paternity and child support from me.

what I have done is kept a detailed log of every event that has happened on an excel spreadsheet. Hope it works out well for me. I will be going to barns and noble this weekend to get a book on pointers. If anyone has advice, help me out

Try this site: www.deltabravo.net it covers just about everything.

 

[GrowUp!]

I'm not asking to be compensated for good food, but is it possible I can counter sue child support from her?

I provide:

child care
diapers
food
milk
cloths

btw, can anyone recommend a good book regarding this issue?

Umm...just because it's organic food does not mean it's better. But if you want to believe the hype...

 

[Chardog]

Umm...just because it's organic food does not mean it's better. But if you want to believe the hype...

so you're telling me that when I go to the farmers market, picking up corn, carrots, beans, ect. and cutting it up and cooking it at home is not better than pre processed artificially flavored and preserved food? I must take down these notes

btw, great link casa!!!

 

[Ohiogal]

so you're telling me that when I go to the farmers market, picking up corn, carrots, beans, ect. and cutting it up and cooking it at home is not better than pre processed artificially flavored and preserved food? I must take down these notes

btw, great link casa!!!

Actually it is not necessarily ... studies have proven that preserved food can contain more nutrients than fresh because fresh food may not be all that fresh. Do some research. When it comes to pre-processed what ar eyou talking about? Frozen veggies with cheese sauce? Not necessarily as healthy depending on what is in the cheese sauce. But frozen broccoli that is steamed is just as nutritious -- and sometimes more so -- than fresh broccoli for instance.
See the following links:
http://parenting.ivillage.com/baby/bnutrition/0,,3w7g,00.html?ice=ivpp%2Crellnk%2Crlbox%2Clnk1
http://www.ext.colostate.edu/pubs/columnnn/nn970122.html
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/002095.htm
Should I continue? Do a google search and you will fund hundreds more links that say the same thing.

 

[CJane]

Actually it is not necessarily ... studies have proven that preserved food can contain more nutrients than fresh because fresh food may not be all that fresh. Do some research. When it comes to pre-processed what ar eyou talking about? Frozen veggies with cheese sauce? Not necessarily as healthy depending on what is in the cheese sauce. But frozen broccoli that is steamed is just as nutritious -- and sometimes more so -- than fresh broccoli for instance.
See the following links:
http://parenting.ivillage.com/baby/bnutrition/0,,3w7g,00.html?ice=ivpp%2Crellnk%2Crlbox%2Clnk1
http://www.ext.colostate.edu/pubs/columnnn/nn970122.html
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/002095.htm
Should I continue? Do a google search and you will fund hundreds more links that say the same thing.

Also - you would be better served to purchase 'Certified Organic' foods at the grocery store (Wild Oats, or whatever is in your area) than at the farmer's market. I'm a big fan of markets, but I know that the produce is not necessarily local, not necessarily organic, and not (as OG said) necessarily fresh.

I can't remember how old this kid is... but Gerber has a line of organic baby foods that is fabulous, and that my son loves. Walmart now offers an organic formula.

 

[casa]

so you're telling me that when I go to the farmers market, picking up corn, carrots, beans, ect. and cutting it up and cooking it at home is not better than pre processed artificially flavored and preserved food? I must take down these notes

btw, great link casa!!!

Glad you found the link helpful. I'd like to add that CA courts won't give preference of custody to a parent bc they prepare organic food...it's called "Parenting Choices" and each parent has them. I cook meals at home and Dad does McDonald's...and the kids are fine.

As a funny aside: When my oldest was a baby I made all her baby food home made from organics....when my youngest was born I didn't have the time and she ate regular baby food...turns out the youngest is now the 'veggie freak' and the oldest is now the 'sweet tooth' LOL Ya just never know.