who pays support dad and/or mom?

[justthestepmpm]

What is the name of your state? Iowa

My husband has been paying support for over 16 years now. The mother (CP)moved out of state 1200 miles away, 6 months ago. During the past 6 months the 16 year old got in some trouble and the mom has since sent him to live with her sister in another state! No modification for custody or support has been established. The support is still going to the mom. How do we get it to go the aunt instead? And since the child isn't living with either parent wouldn't she also some how be responsible for supporting him?

 

[ceara19]

What is the name of your state? Iowa

My husband has been paying support for over 16 years now. The mother (CP)moved out of state 1200 miles away, 6 months ago. During the past 6 months the 16 year old got in some trouble and the mom has since sent him to live with her sister in another state! No modification for custody or support has been established. The support is still going to the mom. How do we get it to go the aunt instead? And since the child isn't living with either parent wouldn't she also some how be responsible for supporting him?

Unless the court order changes, your husband still has to pay mom the support. He can try to modify custody so that HE is the custodial parent, since the child is actually living with the aunt now. I think the aunt would need to be the one to initiate the action if she wanted to be named legal guardian and it sounds like mom wouldn't agree to it if it means no more support checks.

 

[justthestepmpm]

So the mom gets the money and with all probability not even half of it will go the child's aunt for support. Why doesn't she have to contribute her part in supporting him now that he no longer lives with her?

 

[Neal1421]

So the mom gets the money and with all probability not even half of it will go the child's aunt for support. Why doesn't she have to contribute her part in supporting him now that he no longer lives with her?

Why hasn't he filed for custody of the child?

 

[justthestepmpm]

Do you mean physical custody?

 

[MrsK]

Dad has to pay mom support per the court order until custody is fixed. If the aunt got custody THEN both parents would pay support to the aunt.

If your husband wants to stop paying support, he would file for custody. I think (IMO) he'd have an OK chance at getting it. After all, the mom sent the child out of state (is it in your court orders that she can do this???? sounds like possible contempt of court to me) and is still collecting support that is probably not going to the child.

 

[Neal1421]

Do you mean physical custody?

Yes, physical custody.

 

[MrsK]

Do you mean physical custody?

Yes. If dad has custody, no more support.

 

[justthestepmpm]

we unfortunately, i know this sounds bad, don't want custody, we'd rather pay support. You don't know this kid, if you did, you wouldn't want custody either.

 

[MrsK]

we unfortunately, i know this sounds bad, don't want custody, we'd rather pay support. You don't know this kid, if you did, you wouldn't want custody either.

I can understand that, but would you rather pay the support to the mom even though he is living with the aunt?? AND that mom isnt paying her share, that would piss me off.

You MIGHT be able to- and I am not sure about this- take it to court & show them that the kid isnt living with mom (school records would probably work, if he is in school) and they might switch it over to the aunt. I dont know that this is actually do-able but you might look into it.

 

[bononos]

Does Dad speak to his daughter.
If so, ask to speak with the aunt one day.
Just ask if she is getting the support forwarded to her and if not let her know Dad can file to modify so the support goes to her if she would like.
Make sure Dad thanks her for caring for his child .

 

[justthestepmpm]

thanks for your reply, it's his son, and yes all the time.

 

[ceara19]

Dad has to pay mom support per the court order until custody is fixed. If the aunt got custody THEN both parents would pay support to the aunt.

If your husband wants to stop paying support, he would file for custody. I think (IMO) he'd have an OK chance at getting it. After all, the mom sent the child out of state (is it in your court orders that she can do this???? sounds like possible contempt of court to me) and is still collecting support that is probably not going to the child.

Generally, a parent can allow the child to stay with anyone they see fit during their periods of possession. The order doesn't normally address WHERE the child has to be unless it had been an issue at the time the order was made.

It would also be very difficult for dad to get anywhere in court. Since he doesn't want the child to live with him, why should the court question mom's decision?

 

[justthestepmpm]

You are missing the point here**************......Neither parent at this point want the child living with them. This kid has done SOOOOOO many horrific things that I can't even go into it. Bottom line is the kid is now living with an aunt, whom I'm very thankful for trying to straighten him out. Shouldn't both parents be responsible for support and shouldn't it go to the aunt?

 

[Neal1421]

You are missing the point here**************......Neither parent at this point want the child living with them. This kid has done SOOOOOO many horrific things that I can't even go into it. Bottom line is the kid is now living with an aunt, whom I'm very thankful for trying to straighten him out. Shouldn't both parents be responsible for support and shouldn't it go to the aunt?

Yes they should. But it will not change without someone going to court. I suggest your husband hire a lawyer.

By the way, I wonder why the kid is so messed up.

Mom moves 1200 miles to get away from him and dad doesn't want anything to do with him.

Just so that you know, his support probably not be reduced as it is currently base on both parents' incomes and mom's would only be given in addition to what he is paying.