who pays support dad and/or mom?

[bononos]

Yes they should. But it will not change without someone going to court. I suggest your husband hire a lawyer.

By the way, I wonder why the kid is so messed up.

Mom moves 1200 miles to get away from him and dad doesn't want anything to do with him.

Just so that you know, his support probably not be reduced as it is currently base on both parents' incomes and mom's would only be given in addition to what he is paying.

Definately file to make payments to aunt, it would be nice to know that the one person taking care of this child is receiving the support that is deserved.

 

[justthestepmpm]

It's not that way at ALL!! Dad does want something to do with him, we talk to him several times a week paid for travel, airline tickets back and forth twice. It's the Mom that doesn't want him living with her anymore. You think that taking in a 16 year old with all sorts of problems is going to help him?

 

[Neal1421]

It's not that way at ALL!! Dad does want something to do with him, we talk to him several times a week paid for travel, airline tickets back and forth twice. It's the Mom that doesn't want him living with her anymore. You think that taking in a 16 year old with all sorts of problems is going to help him?

His aunt certainly thinks that taking in " a 16 year old with all sorts of problems is going to help him."

He might benefit from being around his dad more. Did dad think about that?

 

[justthestepmpm]

Yes they should. But it will not change without someone going to court. I suggest your husband hire a lawyer.

By the way, I wonder why the kid is so messed up.

Mom moves 1200 miles to get away from him and dad doesn't want anything to do with him.

Just so that you know, his support probably not be reduced as it is currently base on both parents' incomes and mom's would only be given in addition to what he is paying.

I'm not asking to get it reduced, I just feel that Mom needs to help with support since she's not raising him.

And as to Why the kid is so messed up**************Why do you have to blame anyone? The kid has been diagnosed with ADHD, behavioral disorders, etc., etc., etc. It's not mom or dad's fault! They have both tried to be good parents. Doesn't the 16 year old need to take some responsibility for his actions?

 

[bononos]

It's not that way at ALL!! Dad does want something to do with him, we talk to him several times a week paid for travel, airline tickets back and forth twice. It's the Mom that doesn't want him living with her anymore. You think that taking in a 16 year old with all sorts of problems is going to help him?

The aunt took a 16 yr. old with lots of problems.
Someone has to take him, he's only 16.

I was stating that to be sure the Aunt gets the $, file to have it ordered that way, otherwise, Mom might be out spending it on herself.

 

[ceara19]

I'm not asking to get it reduced, I just feel that Mom needs to help with support since she's not raising him.

And as to Why the kid is so messed up**************Why do you have to blame anyone? The kid has been diagnosed with ADHD, behavioral disorders, etc., etc., etc. It's not mom or dad's fault! They have both tried to be good parents. Doesn't the 16 year old need to take some responsibility for his actions?

It doesn't really matter what anyone feels is RIGHT though. If dad goes in to change the order, he will be trying to remove mom as the custodial parent. I don't think HE can take that action unless HE is the one asking for custody. I believe the AUNT would need to be the one to file. Yes both parents SHOULD be equally responsible for raising the child, financially, emotionally and physically. In this case, mom's not financially supporting the child, but dad's not physically and emotionally doing his part either. A 16 year old doesn't just become a "bad person" on their own. It takes years for it to happen. During those years the PARENTS are responsible. Once she becomes an adult, it's up to her to choose whether to be a bad person because of the way she was raised or to be a good person in spite of it.

 

[bononos]

And in any case, this should ALL be legally change, guardianship and support.

 

[ceara19]

And in any case, this should ALL be legally change, guardianship and support.

Agreed, but wouldn't the Aunt have to be the one to initiate this?

 

[bononos]

Agreed, but wouldn't the Aunt have to be the one to initiate this?

I can't seem to find the answer for that in Iowa.
I've found "Petition for Appointment of Gaurdian" for other states where the parents can petition and agree.





WAIT! FOUND IT!
http://standbyguardianship.org/national/ia.asp [

 

[justthestepmpm]

thanks everyone's comments have been quite interesting.

 

[LdiJ]

It doesn't really matter what anyone feels is RIGHT though. If dad goes in to change the order, he will be trying to remove mom as the custodial parent. I don't think HE can take that action unless HE is the one asking for custody. I believe the AUNT would need to be the one to file. Yes both parents SHOULD be equally responsible for raising the child, financially, emotionally and physically. In this case, mom's not financially supporting the child, but dad's not physically and emotionally doing his part either. A 16 year old doesn't just become a "bad person" on their own. It takes years for it to happen. During those years the PARENTS are responsible. Once she becomes an adult, it's up to her to choose whether to be a bad person because of the way she was raised or to be a good person in spite of it.

You know...we don't KNOW that mom isn't supporting the child. For all we know mom could be providing everything the child needs (except perhaps the roof over his head).

 

[bononos]

You know...we don't KNOW that mom isn't supporting the child. For all we know mom could be providing everything the child needs (except perhaps the roof over his head).

True, but I would still want it done legally.
Mom could be sending Dad's support checks and then some, but between guardianship and making sure the Aunt gets the $$, I would do what I could to make sure the kind person who took in my son in was getting what is right by her to support him.

 

[justthestepmpm]

You know...we don't KNOW that mom isn't supporting the child. For all we know mom could be providing everything the child needs (except perhaps the roof over his head).

The Mom unfortunately doesn't support him.

 

[justthestepmpm]

True, but I would still want it done legally.
Mom could be sending Dad's support checks and then some, but between guardianship and making sure the Aunt gets the $$, I would do what I could to make sure the kind person who took in my son in was getting what is right by her to support him.

Thanks so much for your opinion, appreciate it!

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

I'm not asking to get it reduced, I just feel that Mom needs to help with support since she's not raising him.

And as to Why the kid is so messed up**************Why do you have to blame anyone? The kid has been diagnosed with ADHD, behavioral disorders, etc., etc., etc. It's not mom or dad's fault! They have both tried to be good parents. Doesn't the 16 year old need to take some responsibility for his actions?

Gee, did Dad ever think of grabbing his son up, getting him help and learning about ADHD? You guy's must feel so great about yourselves.

The aunt is obviously a wonderful woman. She has taken your hubby's child in with no support.

Kudo's to all three of you.

I would never throw away my child, because he had ADHD, and that is exactly what you are all doing. No wonder he is out of control, his parents don't want him.

Sad, really sad.