who pays support dad and/or mom?

[babymakesone]

The Mom unfortunately doesn't support him.

Now do you know that for sure?

When my oldest SD was living with her grandparents, the mediator said that the CP had to take a 1/4 of the CS & give it to her mother along with a 1/4 of the CP's portion. Needless to say, SD moved back in with CP in no time.

 

[justthestepmpm]

I'm not asking to get it reduced, I just feel that Mom needs to help with support since she's not raising him.

And as to Why the kid is so messed up**************Why do you have to blame anyone? The kid has been diagnosed with ADHD, behavioral disorders, etc., etc., etc. It's not mom or dad's fault! They have both tried to be good parents. Doesn't the 16 year old need to take some responsibility for his actions?

Gee, did Dad ever think of grabbing his son up, getting him help and learning about ADHD? You guy's must feel so great about yourselves.

The aunt is obviously a wonderful woman. She has taken your hubby's child in with no support.

Kudo's to all three of you.

I would never throw away my child, because he had ADHD, and that is exactly what you are all doing. No wonder he is out of control, his parents don't want him.

Sad, really sad.

we aren't "throwing him away" you don't even know the WHOLE story. That's not even why I posted in the first place.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

we aren't "throwing him away" you don't even know the WHOLE story. That's not even why I posted in the first place.

Don't get me wrong, I knew you DIDN'T WANT to hear that, but, it is sadly true.

 

[justthestepmpm]

Don't get me wrong, I knew you DIDN'T WANT to hear that, but, it is sadly true.

What are you exactly saying? That you know the whole story? Unless you've walked a mile in someone else's shoes you have no idea what they have, or are going through. So I would appreciate you not commenting on this thread any longer.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

What are you exactly saying? That you know the whole story? Unless you've walked a mile in someone else's shoes you have no idea what they have, or are going through. So I would appreciate you not commenting on this thread any longer.

I am saying what you said. You said your husband does not want custody. As for my comments, you are on a public forum and cannot dictate who posts or not.

Tell me something,...whose role is it to be taking care of this child? The mother? The father?, or the Aunt?

 

[ceara19]

What are you exactly saying? That you know the whole story? Unless you've walked a mile in someone else's shoes you have no idea what they have, or are going through. So I would appreciate you not commenting on this thread any longer.

Like it or not, what she's saying IS true. The reasons behind the child living with the aunt are irrelevent. If the child is having problems, it is not the aunt's responsibility to take the child in. It is up to the PARENTS, both of them, to get the child the PROFESSIONAL help they need to get back on the right track.

 

[bononos]

Like it or not, what she's saying IS true. The reasons behind the child living with the aunt are irrelevent. If the child is having problems, it is not the aunt's responsibility to take the child in. It is up to the PARENTS, both of them, to get the child the PROFESSIONAL help they need to get back on the right track.

Poster isn't a parent either.
But, the observations shoul point the finger to your hubby.

 

[justthestepmpm]

I am saying what you said. You said your husband does not want custody. As for my comments, you are on a public forum and cannot dictate who posts or not.

Tell me something,...whose role is it to be taking care of this child? The mother? The father?, or the Aunt?[/IThe "Child" is 16.3 FYI, has been in and out of trouble (while living with CP mom) suspended from school, burned down a barn, broke a kids arm at school, hit a teacher and the last straw was he sexually abused his younger sister. Now you tell me how the he__ is it that this is the parent's fault. Next I bet you're gonna say the devil made him do it. If he murders someone is it the parents fault also? When does he take responsibility for his actions? Believe me, we have tried!

 

[justthestepmpm]

Poster isn't a parent either.
But, the observations shoul point the finger to your hubby.

Poster is a parent!

 

[ceara19]

Poster is a parent!

Your not the parent of the child in question though. Your husband is.

 

[justthestepmpm]

Your not the parent of the child in question though. Your husband is.

And your point is?

 

[MrsK]

Like it or not, what she's saying IS true. The reasons behind the child living with the aunt are irrelevent. If the child is having problems, it is not the aunt's responsibility to take the child in. It is up to the PARENTS, both of them, to get the child the PROFESSIONAL help they need to get back on the right track.

I'm not saying the OP's husband is doing his job 100% with getting his child help, BUT I would like to point out that sometimes the NCP's *do* try & get their children help & the CP's could care less. My husband is in this VERY situation, where the child has had medical issues & the mother refuses to get them treated, so my husband gets them treated & then the mom either refuses to do follow ups or takes her sweet time & only does it when he threatens to call CPS or take her back to court OR refuses to get her a decent Dr b/c she doesnt want to pay for it b/c Medicaid wont cover certain physicians/specialists. That gets VERY old after awhile. It is entirely possible for a child to be screwed up solely by the CP even when the NCP is trying to keep the child from having problems & trying to get the child professional help.

Though after hearing her last post with the sexual abuse & arson...I think this boy needs SERIOUS help & discipline & I think maybe dad could be doing more (like sending the boy to a military academy or something along the likes).

 

[ceara19]

And your point is?

The child is your husband's and the mom's responsiblity, not the aunt's.

 

[ceara19]

I'm not saying the OP's husband is doing his job 100% with getting his child help, BUT I would like to point out that sometimes the NCP's *do* try & get their children help & the CP's could care less. My husband is in this VERY situation, where the child has had medical issues & the mother refuses to get them treated, so my husband gets them treated & then the mom either refuses to do follow ups or takes her sweet time & only does it when he threatens to call CPS or take her back to court OR refuses to get her a decent Dr b/c she doesnt want to pay for it b/c Medicaid wont cover certain physicians/specialists. That gets VERY old after awhile. It is entirely possible for a child to be screwed up solely by the CP even when the NCP is trying to keep the child from having problems & trying to get the child professional help.

Though after hearing her last post with the sexual abuse & arson...I think this boy needs SERIOUS help & discipline & I think maybe dad could be doing more (like sending the boy to a military academy or something along the likes).

With the child living with the aunt, now would be the perfect time for dad to get CUSTODY and make sure the child gets the help he needs. It doesn't mean the child actually has to LIVE with him. It sounds like the child needs the help of a residential facility. If the NCP really does want to help the child, now would be the time to do it. Mom doesn't have to shoulder all the blame herself.

 

[MominMass]

"Child" is 16.3 FYI, has been in and out of trouble (while living with CP mom) suspended from school, burned down a barn, broke a kids arm at school, hit a teacher and the last straw was he sexually abused his younger sister."

What qualifications does the AUNT have in caring for a kid like this? He's a serious criminal! Why isn't he in a detention center? You don't pass a kid like this around, you put him in an institution! What happened to the younger sister? How old is/was she? Was he arrested for any/all of these crimes?