Wife wants to "date other people"

[davew128]

Found the smoking gun today.STBX doesn't cover her tracks very well, and i found a backup of her iPhone on our computer that included about two months of text messages between her and the OM. Really depraved stuff including the requisite naked photos. There were also graphic descriptions of their sexual exploits and secret meetings. A real kick in the gut.

Do I confront her with the information, or just file and get the F out?

I think a third party needs to view the information and photos in question.

 

[las365]

I want her to know that I know.

Just be still until you meet with an attorney and make some decisions on how to proceed. You are hurt and betrayed, I understand that. But confronting her at this point may not be your best strategic choice.

 

[Goodfella]

Okay...so I keep up the good husband/father charade, and file ASAP. Merry Christmas everyone! I will keep you posted as it unfolds.

 

[CJane]

Being a good father is a charade?

 

[Goodfella]

Being a good father is a charade?

I misspoke, of course. I meant do i continue to act as if I don't know anything is going on.

 

[fozz]

Have sex with the tennis coach to assert your dominance.

 

[Goodfella]

Have sex with the tennis coach to assert your dominance.

Wow! Thanks for your help, fozz. I'll be sure to give that a try.

 

[Proserpina]

Wow! Thanks for your help, fozz. I'll be sure to give that a try.

(Good job for not giving the troll what it wants )

 

[Goodfella]

Update and question:
I have gone to my lawyer and will be filing for divorce on grounds of irreconcilable differences and adultery. I have told the STBX about the lawyer, and confronted her with the evidence of her affair. She admits that she has been intimate with the OM, and will continue to do so through the divorce process.
The situation has become intolerable. She is trying to make it my fault by saying I drove her to cheating by not being passionate about anything.
Can I force her to move out?

 

[Proserpina]

Update and question:
I have gone to my lawyer and will be filing for divorce on grounds of irreconcilable differences and adultery. I have told the STBX about the lawyer, and confronted her with the evidence of her affair. She admits that she has been intimate with the OM, and will continue to do so through the divorce process.
The situation has become intolerable. She is trying to make it my fault by saying I drove her to cheating by not being passionate about anything.
Can I force her to move out?

You will need to file for divorce and request exclusive use of the marital home. That is the ONLY way she'll be legally required to move, and it will ONLY be when the court orders her to vacate.

I'm surprised the lawyer didn't tell you that.

 

[Victorxyz3]

My question is: If wife decides to move out now, can she take our daughter with her without my agreement?

At this point in time I would say, yes she can take the child. You may be able to file a protective order prior to filing the divorce .. your lawyer should be able to give you more details.

 

[Goodfella]

Up until now, I have told my lawyer that I would prefer an amicable divorce, so I haven't asked about the options of forcing STBX move out. I assume it will become contentious at that point.

 

[Proserpina]

Up until now, I have told my lawyer that I would prefer an amicable divorce, so I haven't asked about the options of forcing STBX move out. I assume it will become contentious at that point.

It will take a court order, Dad.

That's the bottom line.

 

[Goodfella]

It will take a court order, Dad.

That's the bottom line.

I understand and will speak to my lawyer about it. Is the obvious and continued infidelity sufficient grounds for granting exclusive use of marital home?

 

[Proserpina]

I understand and will speak to my lawyer about it. Is the obvious and continued infidelity sufficient grounds for granting exclusive use of marital home?

What's best for the child?

Who has been the primary caregiver?

I don't mean financially.