Wisconsin Uploading of messages

[cbg]

And you can't see the many ways this can backfire on you?

 

[Wolfenacht]

And you can't see the many ways this can backfire on you?

There are many ways lots of things can backfire on me, including keeping quiet about it. Haven't seen my son in almost 2 months now because he thinks I did some horrible thing to her. So I should just keep quiet while she spouts lies all over the place? Fake messages to show to people? It's hard for me to swallow that, I should pay the price for her lies. It bothers me morally and objectively.

 

[Wolfenacht]

And you can't see the many ways this can backfire on you?

Yes though, I can see how it can backfire, just as much as keeping quiet has been backfiring on me now.

 

[Just Blue]

There are many ways lots of things can backfire on me, including keeping quiet about it. Haven't seen my son in almost 2 months now because he thinks I did some horrible thing to her. So I should just keep quiet while she spouts lies all over the place? Fake messages to show to people? It's hard for me to swallow that, I should pay the price for her lies. It bothers me morally and objectively.

Do you have a court order for visitation? Yes? Then go and get your son on your next visitation day. If you are not enforcing your visitation that is on you. Frankly had you done that, ex's poison wouldn't have festered in your childs mind.

 

[Wolfenacht]

He is 17 and is refusing to come over... I can't force him and even if I did it would just piss him off at that point.

 

[Just Blue]

Yes though, I can see how it can backfire, just as much as keeping quiet has been backfiring on me now.

Again...have your attorney send a C ad D letter.

 

[quincy]

What is the name of your state? Wisconsin
So I am going through a.... rough divorce, to put it lightly. She has went off the deep end, to the pool of psychotics. She has spammed me with text messages and facebook messages, and then she is turning around and lying to everyone I know about what is going on and what she said. The only way I can squash this is to upload her messages to show everyone that I am not doing what she says I am doing, but I don't want to get in any trouble for it.
Can I upload these to my social media since she sent it to me?
Do I have to remove her name?
Thanks,
James

James, what your ex wife communicates to you alone cannot be used to support a defamation claim, regardless of how outrageous the falsehoods are. It will be what she says to others - and how it affects your reputation - that can potentially lead to a defamation claim with merit enough to pursue.

Uploading the messages she has sent to you, to show to others, essentially works to defame yourself. It is not a good idea.

Here is a link to general information about defamation law, followed by a Wisconsin appeals court decision in Stephen Laughland v. John Beckett that discusses defamation law in Wisconsin and the elements that must be present to be successful with a suit.

https://www.dmlp.org/legal-guide/defamation

https:://www.wicourts.gov/ca/opinion/DisplayDocument.pdf?content=pdf&seqNo=147047

Your 17 year old son might have a hard time distinguishing truth from fiction right now but most children eventually learn to sort out the facts.

I haven't read carefully the responses you have received yet but I suspect the suggestions offered are good ones. Probably better than continuing with thoughts of a defamation suit.

Good luck.

 

[Shadowbunny]

Well one, with all the messages she was spamming me it would show my responses to not be abusive/difficult like she is claiming to every. Two, her messages directly state that she was showing my kid only certain messages to make me look bad, so that way I can show him that she is using him. Lastly, it will show everyone that I am trying to be resonable/stick to the original deal while she is trying to soak me for every penny while crying victim to everyone we know.

Please do NOT do this. He's a kid (even at 17). Trust me: he knows who you are. If she's lying, he knows it. Or will figure it out. But stooping to her level and involving your child in adult matters is going to make things worse. Especially for him. Take the high road. Be the bigger man. Your friends and family also know who you are. If she's acting as crazy as you say she is, they see it. And they're not going to believe any craziness she makes up.

 

[quincy]

Please do NOT do this. He's a kid (even at 17). Trust me: he knows who you are. If she's lying, he knows it. Or will figure it out. But stooping to her level and involving your child in adult matters is going to make things worse. Especially for him. Take the high road. Be the bigger man. Your friends and family also know who you are. If she's acting as crazy as you say she is, they see it. And they're not going to believe any craziness she makes up.

I agree.

Divorced parents who demean or defame their exes to their children invariably lose the trust and respect of their children. And it harms the child.

It is never a good idea to speak ill of the other parent. The child is a product of both parents - and to attack the character of one parent also attacks the character of the child.

Discuss a defamation claim with an attorney in your area if necessary but please do not involve your child in the dispute between you and your ex.