worried

[Jennx1032]

ny

okay for those who have helped me before, this is an update on my situation. My ex has my son everyother weekend, and i have sole custody. Well i was talking to him last night about our divorce, and he stated that he had filled out paper work regarding custody. The custody orders went into affect in i want to say may. Is their a way he can go in and change a custody order without haveing good reason?I am alittle worried, his lawyer is very unpredictable.Any help would be great . Thenk you all very much.

 

[Halls]

Once the orders are signed by the judge and both of you and take affect your ex would have to file for a modification to change the court order and typically if he does it right after it has taken affect the judge will not do anything about it. He has to have good reason for a modification.

 

[Jennx1032]

Once the orders are signed by the judge and both of you and take affect your ex would have to file for a modification to change the court order and typically if he does it right after it has taken affect the judge will not do anything about it. He has to have good reason for a modification.

I thought something like that, thanks.

 

[nextwife]

ny

okay for those who have helped me before, this is an update on my situation. My ex has my son everyother weekend, and i have sole custody.

A change from SOLE legal custody to Joint Legal may very well be possible if there is not a good reason to keep it Sole. Jt legal is more the standard these days.

 

[Jennx1032]

A change from SOLE legal custody to Joint Legal may very well be possible if there is not a good reason to keep it Sole. Jt legal is more the standard these days.

yes i agree it is the standard these days, but my husband didn't show up for court 7 times, the judge wasn't happy and granted me sole with no visitation, i asked the judge to allow him his parenting time, cause he is a good dad when he wants to be, and that wouldn't have been right to my son or his farther. He says the custody papers were just holidays but i got a bad vibe from him. What would be considered good reasons to change the order? I mean he doesn't want any more time, he doesn't even come when he is supose to. I am worried cause i am happy with the way it is now, i really don't understand cause i have been so giveing with extra time and holiday, whitch he has not taken advantage of, so i am confused.

 

[LdiJ]

yes i agree it is the standard these days, but my husband didn't show up for court 7 times, the judge wasn't happy and granted me sole with no visitation, i asked the judge to allow him his parenting time, cause he is a good dad when he wants to be, and that wouldn't have been right to my son or his farther. He says the custody papers were just holidays but i got a bad vibe from him. What would be considered good reasons to change the order? I mean he doesn't want any more time, he doesn't even come when he is supose to. I am worried cause i am happy with the way it is now, i really don't understand cause i have been so giveing with extra time and holiday, whitch he has not taken advantage of, so i am confused.

Stop fretting until you actually get served. Then you will know exactly what he is asking for, and you can ask for more specific advice.

 

[Jennx1032]

Stop fretting until you actually get served. Then you will know exactly what he is asking for, and you can ask for more specific advice.

I was just asking what to expect, and what would be considered good reasons to change custody, but thanls for the help.

 

[acmb05]

yes i agree it is the standard these days, but my husband didn't show up for court 7 times, the judge wasn't happy and granted me sole with no visitation, i asked the judge to allow him his parenting time, cause he is a good dad when he wants to be, and that wouldn't have been right to my son or his farther. He says the custody papers were just holidays but i got a bad vibe from him. What would be considered good reasons to change the order? I mean he doesn't want any more time, he doesn't even come when he is supose to. I am worried cause i am happy with the way it is now, i really don't understand cause i have been so giveing with extra time and holiday, whitch he has not taken advantage of, so i am confused.

I thought you said back in January that your ex beat you and threw your kid against walls? So you figured that you should go against what the judge wanted to do and ask her to give him visitation?

You should have taken what the judge wanted in the frst place and had a stipulation that he got to anger classes and get counseling with supervised visits in the first place.

YOU told the judge he was a good daddy and now after 8 months he wants to possibly go back and get more time with the child and you are against it.

Whether YOU are happy with the way things are now does not matter, IT's whats in the best interest of the child that matters.

 

[Jennx1032]

I thought you said back in January that your ex beat you and threw your kid against walls? So you figured that you should go against what the judge wanted to do and ask her to give him visitation?

You should have taken what the judge wanted in the frst place and had a stipulation that he got to anger classes and get counseling with supervised visits in the first place.

YOU told the judge he was a good daddy and now after 8 months he wants to possibly go back and get more time with the child and you are against it.

Whether YOU are happy with the way things are now does not matter, IT's whats in the best interest of the child that matters.

Oh god, you again, really get a life.
First off yes he did throw us, but it wasn't ment for my child, that probably sounds bad but yes it was only ment for me. He is a good dad when he wants to spend time with his son. He doesn't want the time he has that is what doen't make sense to me, i offer more to him, he doesn't want it. That is why this doesn't make sense to me.
Wow you are just a negative person, you know their is such a thing as two people who are just ment to be and that is what happened, yes he has done some horrible things to me, but that doesn't make him a bad farther.
Yes i do believe my son is better off with me, i am the one who loves to spend the time i have with him, i have never refused my time, as to where he has. So if you are going to try and bash on my parenting again, please do me a favor and go and get a job or a hobby to waste your time, instead of bashing good hard working single mothers. It is pretty bad that you need to do that. Someone really must have hurt you in some way to treat poeple this way.

 

[acmb05]

Oh god, you again, really get a life.
First off yes he did throw us, but it wasn't ment for my child, that probably sounds bad but yes it was only ment for me. He is a good dad when he wants to spend time with his son. He doesn't want the time he has that is what doen't make sense to me, i offer more to him, he doesn't want it. That is why this doesn't make sense to me.
Wow you are just a negative person, you know their is such a thing as two people who are just ment to be and that is what happened, yes he has done some horrible things to me, but that doesn't make him a bad farther.
Yes i do believe my son is better off with me, i am the one who loves to spend the time i have with him, i have never refused my time, as to where he has. So if you are going to try and bash on my parenting again, please do me a favor and go and get a job or a hobby to waste your time, instead of bashing good hard working single mothers. It is pretty bad that you need to do that. Someone really must have hurt you in some way to treat poeple this way.

You said and I quote. " He hits me AND throws my child against the wall". You did NOT say he hits me and accidently pushed the child against the wall

I was not bashing you I was pointing out what you said. If the man is this bad toward you what makes you think he will treat the child any different when the child gets old enough and says something dad does not like?

If my ex beat me and threw threw child as YOU said and the judge said no visits I would not argue the point. The man obviously needs some counseling for his anger issues and it SHOULD have been addressed at the custody hearing instead of insisting that dad get his visitation.

 

[Mbarr77]

Oh god, you again, really get a life.
First off yes he did throw us, but it wasn't ment for my child, that probably sounds bad but yes it was only ment for me. He is a good dad when he wants to spend time with his son. He doesn't want the time he has that is what doen't make sense to me, i offer more to him, he doesn't want it. That is why this doesn't make sense to me.
Wow you are just a negative person, you know their is such a thing as two people who are just ment to be and that is what happened, yes he has done some horrible things to me, but that doesn't make him a bad farther.
Yes i do believe my son is better off with me, i am the one who loves to spend the time i have with him, i have never refused my time, as to where he has. So if you are going to try and bash on my parenting again, please do me a favor and go and get a job or a hobby to waste your time, instead of bashing good hard working single mothers. It is pretty bad that you need to do that. Someone really must have hurt you in some way to treat poeple this way.

Sorry, I have to agree with ACMB05 on this one. You did say that he threw you, and your child. We can only go on information that we are given, and that does not necessarily sound like the makings of a good father! Not being judgemental, but just giving my opinion.

 

[Jennx1032]

Sorry, I have to agree with ACMB05 on this one. You did say that he threw you, and your child. We can only go on information that we are given, and that does not necessarily sound like the makings of a good father! Not being judgemental, but just giving my opinion.

Yes he did, i was holding my son at the time, other then that he has never put his hands on my son. He is a horrible husband, but a good dad, yes i agree he does need to talk to someone, but easyier said then done. There was no hearing he never showes ever, so i was awarded sole custody. I was only in with the judge 5 mins and my lawyer did all the talking, and advised me to let him keep his time or we would have been back again. He doesn't hurt my child, he may not always be there for him but wouldn't hurt him.

 

[acmb05]

Yes he did, i was holding my son at the time, other then that he has never put his hands on my son. He is a horrible husband, but a good dad, yes i agree he does need to talk to someone, but easyier said then done. There was no hearing he never showes ever, so i was awarded sole custody. I was only in with the judge 5 mins and my lawyer did all the talking, and advised me to let him keep his time or we would have been back again. He doesn't hurt my child, he may not always be there for him but wouldn't hurt him.

Sorry but the way you put it last time was that YOU not your lawyer was the one who asked the judge to allow him visitation.

i asked the judge to allow him his parenting time, cause he is a good dad when he wants to be.

 

[acmb05]

i have an order from the court for protection, it was a stay away, he broke it with in a week, now faces felony charges, he has admitted abuse,

i am sorry if you don't agree with my leaving and getting treated with respect, instead of my son and i beng thrown into walls.

Being with someone else isn't hurting my child that has never seen us all together really, oh except the abuse, no that wouldn't harm a child,

She was not happy of his not appearing 7 times, plus his lawyer never appeared either, so she(the judge)was mad. I said i wanted him to have his time, for my child.

Okay my son's farther(ncp) keeps bring my son home with bruses and claims the dogs are doing this. Mon(my son's 2nd b-day)He brought my son home with two huge gashes across his face, just below the eye,

YEP HE SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT DAD.

 

[Mbarr77]

A good father does not let dogs attack his son and act like it is nothing, a good dad does not push, hit, slap or shove the mother while the child is in your arms. Your previous posts are contradictive of him being a good dad! Either he is a good day, and you follow the court order and let the father see him..Or, he is not the most caring of fathers as your previous posts indicate, and you fight to make sure your son stays safe. You have to decide.