worried

[Jennx1032]

A good father does not let dogs attack his son and act like it is nothing, a good dad does not push, hit, slap or shove the mother while the child is in your arms. Your previous posts are contradictive of him being a good dad! Either he is a good day, and you follow the court order and let the father see him..Or, he is not the most caring of fathers as your previous posts indicate, and you fight to make sure your son stays safe. You have to decide.

He has not hurt my son in any way, i don't agree with his dogs yes, nothing i can do about that , that i have not already done. Farther has rights and should bacause he is a good DAD not a good husband but that has nothing to do with his parenting. He isn't a harm to my child.
The question was change in custody, humm.... i think some of us missed that, but i really don't need any advise any more, unless it is from a senor member who can stick to the question asked. Thanks

 

[Just Blue]

He has not hurt my son in any way, i don't agree with his dogs yes, nothing i can do about that , that i have not already done. Farther has rights and should bacause he is a good DAD not a good husband but that has nothing to do with his parenting. He isn't a harm to my child.
The question was change in custody, humm.... i think some of us missed that, but i really don't need any advise any more, unless it is from a senor member who can stick to the question asked. Thanks

Honey..I've been there and done that..THIS IS NOT AN ATTACK!...But if you think that your ex is a good dad in anyway...you need help! The father pissed his rights away when he threw you and your CHILD against a wall...HE WILL HURT YOUR CHILD! Abusers will hurt whoever is handy when they are in a rage! That is a fact...

Please go and seek some councelling for yourself so that you may better understand the effects of DV ....

 

[Jennx1032]

Honey..I've been there and done that..THIS IS NOT AN ATTACK!...But if you think that your ex is a good dad in anyway...you need help! The father pissed his rights away when he threw you and your CHILD against a wall...HE WILL HURT YOUR CHILD! Abusers will hurt whoever is handy when they are in a rage! That is a fact...

Please go and seek some councelling for yourself so that you may better understand the effects of DV ....

Thanks i don't need to to talk to any one, my ex and i have been split for somke time now, he has done things to me, but never touched my child, and never would. In the eyes of the court, my son's farther isn't a harm to my child, so i guess i will have to listen to what the courts have to say. And yes he did give his rights away, by following his lawyers advise.
But none of this is what my question was about. off topic

 

[Mbarr77]

He has not hurt my son in any way, i don't agree with his dogs yes, nothing i can do about that , that i have not already done. Farther has rights and should bacause he is a good DAD not a good husband but that has nothing to do with his parenting. He isn't a harm to my child.
The question was change in custody, humm.... i think some of us missed that, but i really don't need any advise any more, unless it is from a senor member who can stick to the question asked. Thanks

That is fine! I was just responding based on information that YOU posted yourself. I just find it alarming that you even admit you had your child in your arms when he threw you against the wall, but still think he is a good dad. But, good luck and I wish both you and your child all the best.

 

[CJane]

In the eyes of the court, my son's farther isn't a harm to my child, so i guess i will have to listen to what the courts have to say.

I thought you said the courts awarded you sole custody with NO VISITATION for dad, and that YOU asked for them to please allow him parenting time. That wouldn't seem to me as if the courts thought that he wasn't a danger. Even without him showing up, they probably wouldn't have ordered no visitation unless there was proof that he was, in fact, dangerous.

 

[Jennx1032]

I thought you said the courts awarded you sole custody with NO VISITATION for dad, and that YOU asked for them to please allow him parenting time. That wouldn't seem to me as if the courts thought that he wasn't a danger. Even without him showing up, they probably wouldn't have ordered no visitation unless there was proof that he was, in fact, dangerous.

No that is wrong, he had visittion before that, so i guess the courts saw it as if he was a good farther.Yes the judge did want to take his time, and i asked the court on my lawyers advise to do so.
As far as myself holding my son, humm i guess i should have thrown my son, get real. The fact of the matter is the courts do not see him as a harm to my child, but none of this has to do with my question i posted, i really wish people could read the post and anwser it, not go on bashing my skills as a parent. Just the question.

 

[Mbarr77]

No that is wrong, he had visittion before that, so i guess the courts saw it as if he was a good farther.Yes the judge did want to take his time, and i asked the court on my lawyers advise to do so.
As far as myself holding my son, humm i guess i should have thrown my son, get real. The fact of the matter is the courts do not see him as a harm to my child, but none of this has to do with my question i posted, i really wish people could read the post and anwser it, not go on bashing my skills as a parent. Just the question.

Noone has ever bashed your skills as a parent. Noone has ever said you are a bad parent. And, no noone is saying you should have thrown your child. We are saying that if your ex would never hurt your child, then he should not have pushed you while you were holding your child. He had to be able to see your child, and know that by pushing you he was also pushing your child. But, I am dropping it because you obviously disagree with us all. Like I said, good luck.

 

[Just Blue]

No that is wrong, he had visittion before that, so i guess the courts saw it as if he was a good farther.Yes the judge did want to take his time, and i asked the court on my lawyers advise to do so.
As far as myself holding my son, humm i guess i should have thrown my son, get real. The fact of the matter is the courts do not see him as a harm to my child, but none of this has to do with my question i posted, i really wish people could read the post and anwser it, not go on bashing my skills as a parent. Just the question.

I, personally, am not bashing you skills as a parent...just your judgement. That is why I recomended counseling...When living in a Dv situation judgement gets cloudy...and these affects last a long time, even after the relationship ends...And, bottom line, talking to someone wouldn't hurt you!

 

[Jennx1032]

You know what you are both right in some ways, he should have seen my son, but choice to do what he did anyway.Yes that was wrong of him, as much as i dislike him though, i can't say he is a bad farther cause he really isn't. He really wouldn't and hasn't hurt him. I wouldn't allow any harm to my child as you can see how upset about the dogs i was. But i do feel he is better off with me and the way things are now.

 

[Just Blue]

You know what you are both right in some ways, he should have seen my son, but choice to do what he did anyway.Yes that was wrong of him, as much as i dislike him though, i can't say he is a bad farther cause he really isn't. He really wouldn't and hasn't hurt him. I wouldn't allow any harm to my child as you can see how upset about the dogs i was. But i do feel he is better off with me and the way things are now.

Do you see the obvious contradiction in this?

 

[acmb05]

ny

okay for those who have helped me before, this is an update on my situation. My ex has my son everyother weekend, and i have sole custody. Well i was talking to him last night about our divorce, and he stated that he had filled out paper work regarding custody. The custody orders went into affect in i want to say may. Is their a way he can go in and change a custody order without haveing good reason?I am alittle worried, his lawyer is very unpredictable.Any help would be great . Thenk you all very much.

Ok back to your original post then.

Can he change them? Probably not drastically but since YOU insisted to the judge that he is a good father and YOU insisted that he should get his visitation he will probably be asking for more parenting time and overnite visits and since YOU championed for him in the past and gave no valid reason why he should not get it he probably will.

Your question was " Can he go in and get a custody order changed without a good reason?" Sure he can. Whether the judge gives it to him noone here can tell you. I would say the reason is because he loves his son and wants to spend more time with him now.

 

[Jennx1032]

Do you see the obvious contradiction in this?

I know it is hard for you to see that it wasn't ment for him , but it wasn't. I agree it was wrong, but he really wouldn't hurt him. He made a bed choice. It has never happen again and this is comming from someone who can't stand to look at him. If he was a danger to my child i would be the first one to say it but he isn't. I disagree with his mother on this she has done to me, but that doesn't mean she is a harm to my child. He has been nothing but a loving farther form what i can see, at this point. Their are bad husband and bad farthers, he happens to be just a bad farther, i can hold one thing and say he should be a bad farther from that. I can't.But still this wasn't my question from the beginning. I don't mean to come across as a ***** to any one, but i am not going to say something about him that isn't true.

 

[Jennx1032]

Ok back to your original post then.

Can he change them? Probably not drastically but since YOU insisted to the judge that he is a good father and YOU insisted that he should get his visitation he will probably be asking for more parenting time and overnite visits and since YOU championed for him in the past and gave no valid reason why he should not get it he probably will.

Your question was " Can he go in and get a custody order changed without a good reason?" Sure he can. Whether the judge gives it to him noone here can tell you. I would say the reason is because he loves his son and wants to spend more time with him now.

Thankyou
The thing being he doesn't want more time, he gets everyother weekend fri to sun and refuses holidays, and any extra time i offer so this is why change in custody just doesn't make any sense to me.
What would be good reason to change it, besides he just wants to?
Thanks

 

[Jennx1032]

I know it is hard for you to see that it wasn't ment for him , but it wasn't. I agree it was wrong, but he really wouldn't hurt him. He made a bed choice. It has never happen again and this is comming from someone who can't stand to look at him. If he was a danger to my child i would be the first one to say it but he isn't. I disagree with his mother on this she has done to me, but that doesn't mean she is a harm to my child. He has been nothing but a loving farther form what i can see, at this point. Their are bad husband and bad farthers, he happens to be just a bad farther, i can hold one thing and say he should be a bad farther from that. I can't.But still this wasn't my question from the beginning. I don't mean to come across as a ***** to any one, but i am not going to say something about him that isn't true.

I am sorry i wrote that wrong, he just happens to be a bad husband, not farther

 

[Just Blue]

I know it is hard for you to see that it wasn't ment for him , but it wasn't. QUOTE]


You do what you want....but he was so determined to hurt you that he didn't care that he would hurt his son in the process...You just go on thinking that he is a loving father...
I will tell you that the loving fathers I have seen would never do something like this...They wouldn't raise a hand to the mother of their child...not in front of the kid or otherwise...Nevermind when said child is in the arms of the mother...But you go on fooling yourself that he's okay to be around your child...I hope your son doesn't get hurt because you don't want to face the reality of this situation...

Good Luck!