Spousal alimony

[Lookforward]

Good Morning guys,
An update on my Pre Trial. The GAL told the judge that both parties are claiming they are primary parents and he can't make heads and tails of who is the primary parent. (its odd because its very easy for him to figure out just by talking to both of us)
Anyways he has decided to add another 20 days to my parenting plan which brings it to 46%.
I am thinking about taking it and not making it personal between me and my STBX.

What do you guys think?
Thanks

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

Good Morning guys,
An update on my Pre Trial. The GAL told the judge that both parties are claiming they are primary parents and he can't make heads and tails of who is the primary parent. (its odd because its very easy for him to figure out just by talking to both of us)
Anyways he has decided to add another 20 days to my parenting plan which brings it to 46%.
I am thinking about taking it and not making it personal between me and my STBX.

What do you guys think?
Thanks

I think you should take it. It will show you are the reasonable person.

 

[Zigner]

Good Morning guys,
An update on my Pre Trial. The GAL told the judge that both parties are claiming they are primary parents and he can't make heads and tails of who is the primary parent. (its odd because its very easy for him to figure out just by talking to both of us)
Anyways he has decided to add another 20 days to my parenting plan which brings it to 46%.
I am thinking about taking it and not making it personal between me and my STBX.

What do you guys think?
Thanks

(750 ILCS 5/606.10)
Sec. 606.10. Designation of custodian for purposes of other statutes. Solely for the purposes of all State and federal statutes that require a designation or determination of custody or a custodian, a parenting plan shall designate the parent who is allocated the majority of parenting time. This designation shall not affect parents' rights and responsibilities under the parenting plan. For purposes of Section 10-20.12b of the School Code only, the parent with the majority of parenting time is considered to have legal custody.
(Source: P.A. 99-90, eff. 1-1-16.)

(https://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/ilcs5.asp?ActID=2086)

Why does it matter who is "primary"?

 

[not2cleverRed]

Good Morning guys,
An update on my Pre Trial. The GAL told the judge that both parties are claiming they are primary parents and he can't make heads and tails of who is the primary parent. (its odd because its very easy for him to figure out just by talking to both of us)
Anyways he has decided to add another 20 days to my parenting plan which brings it to 46%.
I am thinking about taking it and not making it personal between me and my STBX.

What do you guys think?
Thanks

Not making it personal between you and your ex is a good idea.

Offer to take it, but don't be surprised when your STBX balks. Be on the record as being willing to attempt to be reasonable and abide by the GAL's recommendation. While few judges have the wisdom of Solomon, all Family Court judges are familiar with the story...

 

[Lookforward]

(750 ILCS 5/606.10)
Sec. 606.10. Designation of custodian for purposes of other statutes. Solely for the purposes of all State and federal statutes that require a designation or determination of custody or a custodian, a parenting plan shall designate the parent who is allocated the majority of parenting time. This designation shall not affect parents' rights and responsibilities under the parenting plan. For purposes of Section 10-20.12b of the School Code only, the parent with the majority of parenting time is considered to have legal custody.
(Source: P.A. 99-90, eff. 1-1-16.)

(https://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/ilcs5.asp?ActID=2086)

Why does it matter who is "primary"?

You are correct it doesn't matter who is who. I wasn't comfortable with 40/60 split with 45/55 i am ok. I am not sure but it seems like 50/50 split is best for the kids and parents. It kinda gives the parent time off as well

 

[Lookforward]

Not making it personal between you and your ex is a good idea.

Offer to take it, but don't be surprised when your STBX balks. Be on the record as being willing to attempt to be reasonable and abide by the GAL's recommendation. While few judges have the wisdom of Solomon, all Family Court judges are familiar with the story...

I will take it and do just that.
Thanks for the great advice you guys.

 

[Lookforward]

Well today was our meeting with the GAL he came in to the meeting and was literally pissed off. When i asked him if he can add one more day for the dad just as he has promised he said i made no promises and that if i dont like his outcome i should just go to trial and hung up the conversation.

I have never seen such unprofessional behavior, i mean he was down right rude and agressive.
I have sent an email to my lawyer but i think my chances are slim to none i either agree to 60/40 split and that's pretty much it. I was hoping he will add another day just like my lawyer suggested.

 

[Ohiogal]

Well today was our meeting with the GAL he came in to the meeting and was literally pissed off. When i asked him if he can add one more day for the dad just as he has promised he said i made no promises and that if i dont like his outcome i should just go to trial and hung up the conversation.

I have never seen such unprofessional behavior, i mean he was down right rude and agressive.
I have sent an email to my lawyer but i think my chances are slim to none i either agree to 60/40 split and that's pretty much it. I was hoping he will add another day just like my lawyer suggested.

GALs make no promises. And what meeting? Virtual meeting or in real meeting? He told you the truth. Unprofessional? You have never come across as angry? Or short? Or blunt? That is not necessarily unprofessional. The GAL may have been matter of fact but you saw it as something else.

 

[LdiJ]

Well today was our meeting with the GAL he came in to the meeting and was literally pissed off. When i asked him if he can add one more day for the dad just as he has promised he said i made no promises and that if i dont like his outcome i should just go to trial and hung up the conversation.

I have never seen such unprofessional behavior, i mean he was down right rude and agressive.
I have sent an email to my lawyer but i think my chances are slim to none i either agree to 60/40 split and that's pretty much it. I was hoping he will add another day just like my lawyer suggested.

I think that you (and maybe your stbx as well) have put enough pressure on the GAL that he is fed up with you both. He is going to recommend the 60/40 split. You either accept that or you duke it out in court. However, you need to ask your attorney what he honestly believes that the judge will order if the judge has to make the decision. You also have to ask him to honestly tell you what the worst case scenario might be.

You definitely don't want to take it to court if it's likely that the judge will order either 40/60 split or even less time for you. If your judge has been known to order 50/50 over one parent's objections then that would be a different story.

 

[Taxing Matters]

GALs make no promises.

Maybe you don't. But there are some out there that do. Just like there are lawyers out there who make promises of outcomes to clients, even though they really shouldn't. You and I wouldn't do that, but we both know, I think, that there are some more clueless lawyers out there who do.

You have never come across as angry? Or short? Or blunt? That is not necessarily unprofessional. The GAL may have been matter of fact but you saw it as something else.

Or the GAL might have been truly rude and unprofessional. It happens. I've seen people in pretty much every profession and occupation at some point who were rude, unprofessional, and/or just plain unpleasant. Our own profession has plenty of them. Many judges, lawyers, court clerks, etc., have been rude or unprofessional at some point. After all, that's part of being human and no one is immune from it, though some are better than others at controlling their reactions. You've complained about a few rude and unprofessional colleagues you've encountered yourself.

 

[stealth2]

I would be willing to bet that the GAL certainly made no "promises" in writing. So, while @Lookforward may have taken something as a promise, he has nothing to show that was actually said.

 

[Ohiogal]

Maybe you don't. But there are some out there that do. Just like there are lawyers out there who make promises of outcomes to clients, even though they really shouldn't. You and I wouldn't do that, but we both know, I think, that there are some more clueless lawyers out there who do.



Or the GAL might have been truly rude and unprofessional. It happens. I've seen people in pretty much every profession and occupation at some point who were rude, unprofessional, and/or just plain unpleasant. Our own profession has plenty of them. Many judges, lawyers, court clerks, etc., have been rude or unprofessional at some point. After all, that's part of being human and no one is immune from it, though some are better than others at controlling their reactions. You've complained about a few rude and unprofessional colleagues you've encountered yourself.

I won't argue with that. I have never made promises and I have never been intentionally rude or unprofessional. I have told parents when they have lied to me or mislead me or harassed me to knock it off and they have told me I am a meanie.

 

[Lookforward]

GALs make no promises. And what meeting? Virtual meeting or in real meeting? He told you the truth. Unprofessional? You have never come across as angry? Or short? Or blunt? That is not necessarily unprofessional. The GAL may have been matter of fact but you saw it as something else.

OhioGal per my lawyer in the pre trail GAL agreed that he will add another day for the dad.

Today's meeting was virtual and yes he was agitated and visibly angry and started yelling go to trial why are you wasting my time.

He has spent 20 minutes with me as a GAL I really doubt that 20 minutes should be enough for the GAL to reach his/her decision.

At one point I told him that I was the primary care provider for the kids so he yelled and said your wife is saying the same who should i believe?

I mean Isn't that his job to figure out whose lying and whose telling the truth?

Ohio Gal, seriously he has some serious anger issues I mean like uncontrollable anger issue

 

[Lookforward]

I would be willing to bet that the GAL certainly made no "promises" in writing. So, while @Lookforward may have taken something as a promise, he has nothing to show that was actually said.

Well if it was in writing we would not be having this conversation

 

[stealth2]

Well if it was in writing we would not be having this conversation

Then you really have nothing in regards to a "promise". It's very likely that your lawyer was like a dog with a bone wrt the extra days, and the GAL's "agreement" was nothing more than "yeah, yeah, fine." Which your lawyer presented to you as the GAL agreeing and you taking as a promise. Which, in reality, was simply "Quit bugging me!"

I'm going to bet that the GAL's had both lawyers yammering at him nonstop and he's had enough with the lot of you.