22 y/o considering a plutonic relationship with a 15 y/o- Am I a Freak??

[You Are Guilty]

I hope the OP comes back in a few weeks to post about how she cried "rape" when she got mad at him for not buying her the proper SpongeBob toy Happy Meal. We'll see how easy the decision to leave her alone becomes then.

 

[CdwJava]

Where are all the male figures like his and the girls Dad, grandfather, uncle?? Why would he only be talking to the mothers?

Because the men would probably kick the crap out of him for even looking at her.

If I had a daughter, and some 22-year-old guy came to me asking if he could see my just-turned-15 year old child, I'd be giving him the Al Bundy treatment ... "Let me give you the tour ... here's the wall ... here's the railing ... here's the door ... and that's the front porch ..." ending with a face plant onto the porch ("Oops, he tripped,") and a threat ... no, a promise ... to load my 12-gauge the next time he showed up.

Again, I think we come back to the ol', "If you have to ask, you already know the answer" theme.

The OP needs to understand that God gave us a brain to override the billogical urges of nature ... he needs to use that brain.

- Carl

 

[TrzVpr]

Because the men would probably kick the crap out of him for even looking at her.

If I had a daughter, and some 22-year-old guy came to me asking if he could see my just-turned-15 year old child, I'd be giving him the Al Bundy treatment ... "Let me give you the tour ... here's the wall ... here's the railing ... here's the door ... and that's the front porch ..." ending with a face plant onto the porch ("Oops, he tripped,") and a threat ... no, a promise ... to load my 12-gauge the next time he showed up.

Again, I think we come back to the ol', "If you have to ask, you already know the answer" theme.

The OP needs to understand that God gave us a brain to override the billogical urges of nature ... he needs to use that brain.

- Carl

For a 'legal advice' board, you guys give some very great and helpful 'legal' advice..

All I have read is personal opinion.

You speak as if you and only you know what is right.

I have traveled the world some, not alot but you would be surprised at what is considered the 'norm' in other cultures.

Since this is not considered the norm in this culture you bash with personal opinion.

I dont know you personally let alone care what your personal opinions are.

I came here for the 'legalities of the situation' which I can look up with the applicable codes provided. (Thx BTW).

The rest of you can continue bashing all you want, it is within your rights..

Feel free to express yourselfs how you seem fit.

 

[CdwJava]

However, you are living in THIS culture - not one of those other ones. Additionally, this is not the same agrarian society with diminished life expectancy and a great need for offspring top work the fields of 100 years ago, either. So, we have theoretically moved beyond our simple urges.

And the opinions you see here are mirrored within the law. In CA you will find it very easy to be charged with one of several violations. If you grope or fondle her, or have sexual intercourse, you are in trouble. If mom or dad don't want you to see her, you can be in trouble. If you take her out and keep her out after curfew, or expose her to alcohol, etc. you can be in trouble.

In short, there is a whole lot of ways to get in trouble by "dating" her. And by doing so, you also increase the chances that you will either be falsely accused or you will actually break the law.

All of us know you will do what you are going to do anyway. People that come here to post and ask questions like yours tend to do so in a last gasp attempt to try and find a "legal" justification for the act that they KNOW is wrong.

What is "legal" is not necessarily right. Legality and morality are NOT the same thing. We all know that you are ware what you are doing is wrong. We are all equally aware that you are going to see her in spite of what any of US have to say.

So, all I can say is that I hope you manage to avoid a lifetime registration as a sex offender ... 3 1/2 years of no touching, fondling, or groping, is not going to be feasible. Thus you will be open to criminal charges soo enough.

I only hope that you don't mess up this girl (yes, she's a "girl" as in a "child"), and ruin her future because you think you are in love.

Oh, and keep in mind that the posted code sections are not an exhaustive list ... AND they have been modified by case law interpretations, so while you may be looking at them and thinking your safe, unless you read all the case law surrounding these codes, you do not get the whole picture.

- Carl

 

[AHA]

It's obvious you had doubts about the relationship even before you posted here, and that in itself should be reason enough for you to walk away from her. If you're not feeling 100% good and sure about a relationship you shouldn't be in it, no matter what ages. Life's too short. How can she be the one, when this relationship is so wrong(legally at least)!

Explain to her why you have to walk away, IF you two are meant to be together you'll hook up again when she's all grown and you won't have legal consequences by being together.

Good luck

 

[gryndor]

For a 'legal advice' board, you guys give some very great and helpful 'legal' advice..

All I have read is personal opinion.

You speak as if you and only you know what is right.

I have traveled the world some, not alot but you would be surprised at what is considered the 'norm' in other cultures.

Since this is not considered the norm in this culture you bash with personal opinion.

I dont know you personally let alone care what your personal opinions are.

I came here for the 'legalities of the situation' which I can look up with the applicable codes provided. (Thx BTW).

The rest of you can continue bashing all you want, it is within your rights..

Feel free to express yourselfs how you seem fit.

Hey there TrzVpr. Aside from being a legal advice forum, it is populated with human beings who all have personal experiences and opinions. This forum has no rules about sugarcoating or "playing nice" so you're going to get "bashed" a lot when you post here. You can either go on the defensive (which most people do) or glean the meaning behind the mean, curt, incomplete or downright nasty posts.

You DID get a legal answer; in addition, you also got a moral answer. The unanimous moral answer was to get away from her, to preserve her development and your career/future.

Legally, you could be in a sh!t-load of trouble too. CdwJava was good enough to post the codes that apply.

What the people here are "bashing" you about, is you apparent unwillingness to make a decision, to make it yourself, and make the correct one for all the parties involved.

Sure it's ok in other countries (even other states) to be in a relationship that young, but here, where I live and where you live, the majority of people believe that at 15-16 years, you are not capable of deciding with any objectivity, your current mental/emotional state, future ramifications, etc. etc.

So please take the comments here two ways: with a grain of salt (because there's usually useful info in offensive posts) and with the understanding that we are speaking from our own perspective.

This may be a waste of time to type out (for many reasons, including the possibility that you're already fed up with us), but I felt something needed to be said.

Please don't continue with this relationship. Tell her the truth in a letter or over the phone. She will cry and say that you guys can work things out, or that no one has to know... but once you pull yourself away she will be able to grow up the rest of the way, have the life a young teen deserves, and she won't ever regret becoming involved in something before she was ready.

BTW, the last half of that sentence was from personal experience, so I'm not talking out my a$$.

I hope you understand where we are all coming from.

Gryn

 

[TrzVpr]

Hey there TrzVpr. Aside from being a legal advice forum, it is populated with human beings who all have personal experiences and opinions. This forum has no rules about sugarcoating or "playing nice" so you're going to get "bashed" a lot when you post here. You can either go on the defensive (which most people do) or glean the meaning behind the mean, curt, incomplete or downright nasty posts.

You DID get a legal answer; in addition, you also got a moral answer. The unanimous moral answer was to get away from her, to preserve her development and your career/future.

Legally, you could be in a sh!t-load of trouble too. CdwJava was good enough to post the codes that apply.

What the people here are "bashing" you about, is you apparent unwillingness to make a decision, to make it yourself, and make the correct one for all the parties involved.

Sure it's ok in other countries (even other states) to be in a relationship that young, but here, where I live and where you live, the majority of people believe that at 15-16 years, you are not capable of deciding with any objectivity, your current mental/emotional state, future ramifications, etc. etc.

So please take the comments here two ways: with a grain of salt (because there's usually useful info in offensive posts) and with the understanding that we are speaking from our own perspective.

This may be a waste of time to type out (for many reasons, including the possibility that you're already fed up with us), but I felt something needed to be said.

Please don't continue with this relationship. Tell her the truth in a letter or over the phone. She will cry and say that you guys can work things out, or that no one has to know... but once you pull yourself away she will be able to grow up the rest of the way, have the life a young teen deserves, and she won't ever regret becoming involved in something before she was ready.

BTW, the last half of that sentence was from personal experience, so I'm not talking out my a$$.

I hope you understand where we are all coming from.

Gryn

Im gonna do it, Im going to break it off. This is too much for me handle and I cant deal with this type of pressure.

I called her a few minutes ago to let her know I have to talk with her.

I was so illusioned with the possibility of Love that i lost the foresight to see that the risks far outweigh the rewards.

I cant think or walk straight. Im a wreck. This has brought dis-order into my life and I need to eliminate it.

No matter how right I want it to be, it wont ever be..

Im going to feel like sh*t for the next couple of weeks but life goes on as it has before and will continue to do so.

Been doing more reading regarding the penal codes and stuff 'scared me stiff less'. I in no way want to be associated with that.

I am going to buy a motorcycle and ride it at full throttle. Wake up in a hospital and imagine it was all a bad dream.

BTW, Thx for the sincerity of your post gryndor.

TrzVpr

 

[TrzVpr]

Which trail will you take!?

You won't find the legal answers you are looking for)-from here or anywhere else. You will only find that "shades of grey" lie between the clear black and white answers you are seeking.

Worst case scenario-12 people will decide if what you are doing is right, then you will suffer the consequences until you die.

Best case scenario- your overwhelming feelings of passion and love will be hidden from the rest of the world until such time comes that your fairy tale love story can be brought to light. Afterwhich, you two can tell the rest of the world to kiss your rear end and live happily ever after.

If I were your age and felt this way, perhaps (i seriously doubt it), but just perhaps, I would take a chance and gamble for something that is closer to the best case scenario. But, I'm a little older and dare not take the chance of trusting anyone who could potentially destroy me.

I am not saying you are sick, nor am I saying that what you are doing is morally wrong. In that area, you can take your understanding of different cultures and how they change over time to arrive at your own philisophical conclusion.

Oh by the way, you can't hold her hand or kiss her in public. You may be able to hold her hand if Jaywalking as that will probably be construed as helping your friend across the street. However, even that can twisted into something that can land you nearer to the worst-case scenario.

best of luck

Thank You for this post.

 

[gryndor]

When I broke it off with my fiancé of three years, it hurt like a son-of-a-b!tch too. I thought my life was ending, but of course it didn't. I'm happier now than ever, and the sooner you learn that it only takes yourself to be happy, the better your life will be.

If you do this right, she will always remember you as her "knight in shining armor" and she may even try to find you in a few years.

You're doing the right thing... for yourself and for her. Just keep telling yourself that.

Good luck to you,
Gryn

 

[TrzVpr]

I just did it over the phone..

Its over.

I wish I could say I was happy but I feel like shiet..
I wish I could thank you to all of you but I dont feel in a thankful mood.
I wish she was older and i was younger but the world only rotates in one direction. - Not mine..

I am really going to buy a motorcycle. Really I am.. What else is left?

I feel like **** now but It will be better in a couple of weeks and I might even look back at this and laugh. What was I thinking?

This forum was my sort of 'HOTLINE'. because Ive been freaking out this whole time.

I knew it was wrong that is why I came here in first place. I was looking to justify it and got a cold harsh dose of reality. Which sucks by the way.

Peace to you all.

 

[TrzVpr]

I hope the OP comes back in a few weeks to post about how she cried "rape" when she got mad at him for not buying her the proper SpongeBob toy Happy Meal. We'll see how easy the decision to leave her alone becomes then.

This one hit the spot. As a human being I cant control her actions and dont know what attitude she will have towards me in the future. This is an unacceptable risk.

What is OP BTW?

 

[cbg]

OP = Original Poster

 

[TrzVpr]

This thread will eventually die and fall into the murky deeps of the database but will remain imprinted as an important cornerstone in my life.

Yeah I am mello dramatic and I know it. =0

I feel like if I have a huge weight lifted of my shoulder.

Problem is now I cant get back to concentrating on work.

 

[AHA]

Get the motorcycle for fun, not for a way to get yourself killed, no one is worth that.
I guarantee you will feel better soon, human nature is amazing that way. Pain makes you stronger and builds character.
You said yourself all the things you have achieved to have a good life, don't forget those just because of a girl. Trust me, you will fall in love again and hopefully your character will have learned from this and your heart won't be so accessible to a minor. And there is still a chance you will end up with this girl, if you both feel the same in a few years.
Be proud of your achievements and prosper even more. I know it might not seem like it now, but you did the RIGHT thing for both of you.

 

[TrzVpr]

Get the motorcycle for fun, not for a way to get yourself killed, no one is worth that.
I guarantee you will feel better soon, human nature is amazing that way. Pain makes you stronger and builds character.
You said yourself all the things you have achieved to have a good life, don't forget those just because of a girl. Trust me, you will fall in love again and hopefully your character will have learned from this and your heart won't be so accessible to a minor. And there is still a chance you will end up with this girl, if you both feel the same in a few years.
Be proud of your achievements and prosper even more. I know it might not seem like it now, but you did the RIGHT thing for both of you.

I feel I did the right thing. Although I hate what I did, I feel better knowing that I did it than had I not done it.

I've been debating for a couple of months on whether or not to buy a Yamaha R6 and learn how to ride it. I’ve only been hesitant about it because of the safety issues involved with motorcycles and their accidents. I have been doing a lot of research on that topic as well. If I wanted to hurt myself, a bike accident would definitely not be the way.

However, after this experience, I will definitely get one. What do I have to lose? Someone who I was really happy with and a relationship that I felt had the potential to grow into sometime beautiful? Too late, I already threw it away. Based on all your advice and my f**king conscience.. (Sorry just venting)

I will definitely need something to get my mind off things and into something else. That is the only way I will move on, by not thinking about it.

I called some of my girlfriends (my age) and asked them to makes plans for tonight so that they can get me out of the house. What ever it is I do, I have to get my mind of this before I regret the right decision I made and call her again.

I erased her phone numbers from my cell and backlogs for the extra precaution because my emotions get the better of me sometimes.. And I know this.