Alienated Mom needs some advice, very sad

[poppabear]

She has no rights above you.

The stepmom has NO rights. At ALL. As in, you and I have have as much 'right' to the children as she does.

 

[Ohiogal]

Can I be banned from my kids activities? My children are in a bowling league and I attended one of the events where she showed up and the father was not present. (it was my weekend to have the kids) She grabbed my son from me while I was talking to him and dragged him off to the lanes. I decided it was best to ignore her and continue to watch my kids play. The whole time she was there interfering with my contact with the children. When I tried to talk to them she approached me and said she was there mom not me. We got into an arguement in the parking lot and she went inside and told them I attacked her and she would have me banned from the bowling alley so I could not attend their events.

I tell the father and he says this is between you two. Both of you are crazy and I am the good guy in all of this. I could care less if you both kill each other.

I have not gone to the bowling alley to ask if I am really banned or not, but I was wondering if they could ban me for no reason. Well they probably could because it's private property and all, but I do not see how this is right since she is just a girlfriend and I am their mom. I should be allowed to attend their activities without her interferring.

What should I do?

If dad really said that, use that AND girlfriend's actions to modify the order for NO THIRD PARTY INTERFERENCE.

 

[Firefly1999]

If dad really said that, use that AND girlfriend's actions to modify the order for NO THIRD PARTY INTERFERENCE.

I guess all I can really do is document the incidents and take this back to court. Clearly they are both interfering with my relationship with my children and it is hurtful.

I will probably go to the bowling alley and speak with the manager or owner to find out if I am really banned, see what I can straighten out because my ex told me I was banned no one else. Also I can ask my ex either go with me to the bowling alley to fix the problem or we can sign the kids up at a different league that the girlfriend has no ties to. That way my children can still do bowling but at a neutral location that I am welcomed. If he disagrees with my request for us to fix the bowling issue or move them to a different location, it will just be more ammo on my side that he is not wiling to work together for the good of the kids. I will be and always will be a part of my kids life and him and the girlfriend need to realize that and I think when we go back to court he's going to not like what the judge has to say about his and her behavior.

 

[shawna maples]

Opinion only

The stepmom has NO rights. At ALL. As in, you and I have have as much 'right' to the children as she does.

It's a given the gf has no 'right' TO the children. 'Nuff said.

Firefly1999

October 1, 2008, Florida law regarding parents and their minor children changed. If your court case was filed before October 1, 2008, then you should discuss with a family lawyer if the new laws effect you and your family.

The new laws no longer talk of primary residence or designating one parent the primary residential parent. Instead, the family court is asked to approve, grant or modify a parenting plan.

Regarding the bowling alley - if your ex told you that you are banned, it wouldn't seem to me the best route to look to him for assistance w/that. Mayhap carry your co's until you get to court; and again you have the right to be listed on ALL pertaining to your kids.

Yrs ago DH's son's past school was led to believe DH didn't exist in the child's life..though DH had his son every week. W/ each new school DH would have to go to the school & put his own info on the child's records, show his co & demand the child's last name be changed on the records as there had been no marriage & the courts had Ordered the child's last name be changed to DH's. Just saying do be assertive because your being stomped upon.

Before court or even consulting an attorney consider and write down all that would improve your situation ie the suggested "No 3rd party interference" and a parenting plan for both the children living w/you or not.

 

[Firefly1999]

This woman is crazy!

Ok I just got served with papers yesterday that I need to appear in court for a hearing. That she is trying to get a restraining order against me.

In the report she refers to my children as hers! She stated: I was trying to protect me and MY children from her and I fear for the safety of MY children. There was a question at the bottom where she was asked if the defendant (me) was the natural mother of any children listed and she said NO! In the whole report she refers to them as her children!

I am very concern and upset about this. She is clearly using this as a tactic to keep me from my children. Some of the places she list that I am not allowed to come within 500 ft of are the kids school, chuck e cheese, the park?!! what the F! Sorry I am just very concern and upset I did not realize how dillusional and crazy this woman was and she is around my children makes me very upset. She has repeatedly shown acts of violence against my children in front of me. I will be requesting an emergency hearing to get them away from her.

 

[LdiJ]

Ok I just got served with papers yesterday that I need to appear in court for a hearing. That she is trying to get a restraining order against me.

In the report she refers to my children as hers! She stated: I was trying to protect me and MY children from her and I fear for the safety of MY children. There was a question at the bottom where she was asked if the defendant (me) was the natural mother of any children listed and she said NO! In the whole report she refers to them as her children!

I am very concern and upset about this. She is clearly using this as a tactic to keep me from my children. Some of the places she list that I am not allowed to come within 500 ft of are the kids school, chuck e cheese, the park?!! what the F! Sorry I am just very concern and upset I did not realize how dillusional and crazy this woman was and she is around my children makes me very upset. She has repeatedly shown acts of violence against my children in front of me. I will be requesting an emergency hearing to get them away from her.

Get an attorney, like YESTERDAY. The fact that she would actually be stupid enough to file something like that, indicates that she is way off the deep end. You need an attorney on your side. Make sure that you have copies of the children's birth certificates showing that you are their mother, and a copy of the custody/visitation orders as well.

This is just crazy!

 

[Firefly1999]

Get an attorney, like YESTERDAY. The fact that she would actually be stupid enough to file something like that, indicates that she is way off the deep end. You need an attorney on your side. Make sure that you have copies of the children's birth certificates showing that you are their mother, and a copy of the custody/visitation orders as well.

This is just crazy!

I spoke with an attorney yesterday and faxed her over the papers I was served so we will see what she says when she reads over them and calls me back.

I will definetly be bringing the birth certificates and custody papers with me to the hearring, and your right, the fact that she is even stupid and or crazy enough to actually file this clearly shows she is way off her rocker.

I spoke with my ex about it and this is his response: Oh well that is against you and her has nothing to do with the children. If I have to meet you somewhere to pick up the kids that's fine it's not going to be a problem.
I am like uh..are you retarded? He is clearly clueless or chooses to ignore what is going on, in any case I thank her for this lovely evidence I have. I will be fighting for those kids to be with me. This is just ridiculous.

 

[LdiJ]

I spoke with an attorney yesterday and faxed her over the papers I was served so we will see what she says when she reads over them and calls me back.

I will definetly be bringing the birth certificates and custody papers with me to the hearring, and your right, the fact that she is even stupid and or crazy enough to actually file this clearly shows she is way off her rocker.

I spoke with my ex about it and this is his response: Oh well that is against you and her has nothing to do with the children. If I have to meet you somewhere to pick up the kids that's fine it's not going to be a problem.
I am like uh..are you retarded? He is clearly clueless or chooses to ignore what is going on, in any case I thank her for this lovely evidence I have. I will be fighting for those kids to be with me. This is just ridiculous.

She definitely handed you some pretty darn damaging evidence! Dad is also a fool if he thinks that none of this effects him.

 

[kimberlywrites]

Maybe it's just me but do any of you think there is more to this story that we're not hearing? It seems really odd that the father and his BUD are even trying to get away with this, it's so ridiculously 'out there.'

 

[LdiJ]

Maybe it's just me but do any of you think there is more to this story that we're not hearing? It seems really odd that the father and his BUD are even trying to get away with this, it's so ridiculously 'out there.'

We have seen stepparents like this one on these forums in the past...either the actual stepparent has been here or the parent that is dealing with the stepparent has been here. We have also seen parents like the dad here as well, who try to bury their heads in the sand.

While this is very much "out there" I think that we have actually seen worse.

 

[RRevak]

???????

Ok, I guess maybe I'm missing something here but what i'm failing to understand is WHY THE HECK OP HAS CONTINUED TO LET THIS HAPPEN???? I personally would have had dad back in court by the scruff of the neck like YESTERDAY if that was how he was treating me and my relationship with my children! And WHY THE HECK has OP allowed this to continue with the bedwarmer??!! Op should have started dealing with this the moment bedwarmer overstepped her boundaries and dad started lying. Then maybe the situation wouldnt have escalated to this point...

But thats just my opinion...

 

[kimberlywrites]

Ok, I guess maybe I'm missing something here but what i'm failing to understand is WHY THE HECK OP HAS CONTINUED TO LET THIS HAPPEN???? I personally would have had dad back in court by the scruff of the neck like YESTERDAY if that was how he was treating me and my relationship with my children! And WHY THE HECK has OP allowed this to continue with the bedwarmer??!! Op should have started dealing with this the moment bedwarmer overstepped her boundaries and dad started lying. Then maybe the situation wouldnt have escalated to this point...

But thats just my opinion...

Yeah, that's why I'm wondering if there's more to this. And why she's not interested in the police escort so she will have unbiased documentation in hand. Who cares if her ex is an ex-cop...if she means what she's saying, nothing should stand in her way.

 

[RRevak]

Yeah, that's why I'm wondering if there's more to this. And why she's not interested in the police escort so she will have unbiased documentation in hand. Who cares if her ex is an ex-cop...if she means what she's saying, nothing should stand in her way.

Thats kind of where I was going with this. I guess something just doesnt add up in this equation. Mom seems to want to talk a lot but doesnt seem to want to do much about it, i'm wondering why....
Whats really confusing me is why wouldnt the court catch the bedwarmer using the term "her children"? Why is mom the one pointing this out and not the court? In other words, why would the court ALLOW bedwarmer to file an order on behalf of children that werent even hers?? Again, maybe i'm missing something here but something doesnt seem right...

 

[LdiJ]

Many people do not understand what rights they have, were intimidated by court the first time around, or have tried to be nice to keep the peace. Many people simply are not assertive enough to do what needs to be done to nip these things in the bud.

That's a service that we provide to them. We make them understand what they should have done in the past, and what they need to do now.

You are assuming that a mother without primary custody had to have done something wrong, so there has to be more to the story. That might have been true in the past, but that's not true today.

 

[RRevak]

Many people do not understand what rights they have, were intimidated by court the first time around, or have tried to be nice to keep the peace. Many people simply are not assertive enough to do what needs to be done to nip these things in the bud.

That's a service that we provide to them. We make them understand what they should have done in the past, and what they need to do now.

You are assuming that a mother without primary custody had to have done something wrong, so there has to be more to the story. That might have been true in the past, but that's not true today.

No its not that i'm assuming she did something wrong, I'm very familiar with moms who do not have primary custody of their children simply because they didnt want them to be uprooted from their familiar areas and felt dad was better as he was home. I know mom doesnt always have to be the bad guy to not have primary custody, in fact sometimes that even makes mom the better person. But I guess where Im having the confusion is what seems to be the amount of power the GF has. Why would she even be allowed to file an RO and have it include children that werent even hers? That could technically mean that any joe schmoe could do the same with my child? Call me suspicious, but I honestly get the overwhelming feeling that we arent being given the whole story here.