C/S to another country? Taxes too

[fair parent]

DSCE has no obligation to help you.

Why didn't you hire an attorney if you didn't know what to do?

And how does that justify you're not making any effort to see the child for 5 years?

because I couldn't afford it. She says she always gets what she wants, and for me to go to Peru felt like a trap. Those two reasons. besides, if she blackmailed me again while I was there, I don't know how my future would be if I was locked up abroad. do you see why Im a little reluctant to go? can you tell me anything that might help other than asking me questions about something I can't fix. The point is now, Im trying do the right thing. Any positive advice? get a lawyer-got it.....??

 

[fair parent]

So in other words DCSE is all about the mother then? When a father who isn't tryingto be labeled a deadbeat dad wants to step up, no one is there to help? The system is unfair and with as many men who are going through this, why is it so hard to do it?

 

[Humusluvr]

So in other words DCSE is all about the mother then? When a father who isn't tryingto be labeled a deadbeat dad wants to step up, no one is there to help? The system is unfair and with as many men who are going through this, why is it so hard to do it?

No, the DCSE is about the CHILD, who happens to be with the mother. We can see how this is confusing to you.

It's hard for you, because you're dealing with a foreign country. We do US law here, not Peruvian law/support/visitation.

That's why you need a lawyer if there are things you want or find questionable.

Until then, the child is hopefully getting the support they need.

 

[mistoffolees]

because I couldn't afford it. She says she always gets what she wants, and for me to go to Peru felt like a trap. Those two reasons. besides, if she blackmailed me again while I was there, I don't know how my future would be if I was locked up abroad. do you see why Im a little reluctant to go? can you tell me anything that might help other than asking me questions about something I can't fix. The point is now, Im trying do the right thing. Any positive advice? get a lawyer-got it.....??

Sorry, but details are important. Would you rather have people making wild guesses or trying to establish the facts to provide useful advice?

The scenario is described above. If you want visitation, you're going to have to file in Peru - if you even have grounds to do so - unless by some very odd circumstance, Mom granted jurisdiction to VA. But you're not going to be able to figure that out by yourself - you really need an attorney to review your documents to see if there's any hope at all, but frankly, it is very unlikely that you can do anything in VA.

So in other words DCSE is all about the mother then? When a father who isn't tryingto be labeled a deadbeat dad wants to step up, no one is there to help? The system is unfair and with as many men who are going through this, why is it so hard to do it?

As you were told, DCSE is about the child - and getting the child the legally mandated amount of support. If you don't want to support a child, I would suggest that you stop having sex.

As for 'many men are going through this', that's your imagination. I would imagine that the number of men who stupped a woman who wanted to flee to Peru before the child was born - and then who make absolutely no effort to see the child - and who do not properly appeal an erroneous order- is fairly small.

 

[Alex1176]

because I couldn't afford it. She says she always gets what she wants, and for me to go to Peru felt like a trap. Those two reasons. besides, if she blackmailed me again while I was there, I don't know how my future would be if I was locked up abroad. do you see why Im a little reluctant to go? can you tell me anything that might help other than asking me questions about something I can't fix. The point is now, Im trying do the right thing. Any positive advice? get a lawyer-got it.....??

I has a wife that wanted to fly to Uzbekistan with my child some time ago. I went to a lawyer and asked him what can I do to prevent it, and if I can force visitation in another country. His answer was very clear: You can do it, only if you are going to stay in that place several months and you have money. And off course if you don't afraid to get killed by her relatives. You know what mans life worth in those third world sh*tholes.
The only thing you can do is to lower your CS, legally. I can not tell you how exactly, it all depends on your situation.

 

[fair parent]

Sorry, but details are important. Would you rather have people making wild guesses or trying to establish the facts to provide useful advice?

The scenario is described above. If you want visitation, you're going to have to file in Peru - if you even have grounds to do so - unless by some very odd circumstance, Mom granted jurisdiction to VA. But you're not going to be able to figure that out by yourself - you really need an attorney to review your documents to see if there's any hope at all, but frankly, it is very unlikely that you can do anything in VA.




As you were told, DCSE is about the child - and getting the child the legally mandated amount of support. If you don't want to support a child, I would suggest that you stop having sex.

As for 'many men are going through this', that's your imagination. I would imagine that the number of men who stupped a woman who wanted to flee to Peru before the child was born - and then who make absolutely no effort to see the child - and who do not properly appeal an erroneous order- is fairly small.

I do want to support my child as I have mentioned already and no effort huh? thats your imagination. thank you for the advice, I really do appreciate it but your comments about having sex are unecessary.

 

[fair parent]

I has a wife that wanted to fly to Uzbekistan with my child some time ago. I went to a lawyer and asked him what can I do to prevent it, and if I can force visitation in another country. His answer was very clear: You can do it, only if you are going to stay in that place several months and you have money. And off course if you don't afraid to get killed by her relatives. You know what mans life worth in those third world sh*tholes.
The only thing you can do is to lower your CS, legally. I can not tell you how exactly, it all depends on your situation.

I tried to reason with her to lower it but shes set on the amount and doesn't care whether I see him or not. This is why it is unfair. I don't have a lot of money, I think thats the problem. She has it, it is supposed to go to my kid but I seen pictures of her with designer hand bags and in hotels with huge fountains, jewelry and many vacations on cruise ships......WTF???? I don't know if I can even get the courts to re-evaluate what the cost of child care is and if she can prove that she needs that much money. If she agreed to lower the support ammount, I have a chance with a lawyer that can go through the courts to appeal, or re-evaluate. I dunno, I just know I want to see my kid and its harder to get her to agree on anything, but a court order would help. Good luck with your case man, im feeling the pain too.

 

[mistoffolees]

I do want to support my child as I have mentioned already and no effort huh? thats your imagination.

Really? Then tell us exactly what you've done over the past 5 years to see your child. So far, you haven't stated ANY real effort to see your child. Maybe a few emails or phone calls to Mom and that's it.

Supporting your child? I think it's amazing how someone can insist that they want to support their child, but they go ballistic over paying the state-mandated amount. So you want to support your child as long as you don't have to make any sacrifices? Sorry, that's not supporting your child.

 

[Alex1176]

I tried to reason with her to lower it but shes set on the amount and doesn't care whether I see him or not. This is why it is unfair. I don't have a lot of money, I think thats the problem. She has it, it is supposed to go to my kid but I seen pictures of her with designer hand bags and in hotels with huge fountains, jewelry and many vacations on cruise ships......WTF???? I don't know if I can even get the courts to re-evaluate what the cost of child care is and if she can prove that she needs that much money. If she agreed to lower the support ammount, I have a chance with a lawyer that can go through the courts to appeal, or re-evaluate. I dunno, I just know I want to see my kid and its harder to get her to agree on anything, but a court order would help. Good luck with your case man, im feeling the pain too.

Thanks man.
You need to understand, that CS is usually calculated according to your possibility to pay, and not according the expenses of the child. There are people who paying 50$ a month and even nothing. Again, it all depends on your earnings and how you lost your high income job.
In my case I told my wife that if she is going to U-n she won't see a dime from me, even if I will be in jail. So she is here now, I see my child and there is some chance even to reunite.

 

[fair parent]

Really? Then tell us exactly what you've done over the past 5 years to see your child. So far, you haven't stated ANY real effort to see your child. Maybe a few emails or phone calls to Mom and that's it.

Supporting your child? I think it's amazing how someone can insist that they want to support their child, but they go ballistic over paying the state-mandated amount. So you want to support your child as long as you don't have to make any sacrifices? Sorry, that's not supporting your child.

WOAH lady!! Back off here, Im not going into details about my own personal life with you for what? to restore faith in men you lost a long time ago? I don't need you to get your emotions interfering with your rational decisions, I was just asking what i can do to help my situation but you insist on finding ANYTHING that can count agaisnt me to make me out to be the bad guy here. Im not on trial and I certaintly don't need to justify the why's and why nots with you. I am asking for advice. Not a war here. For the record i wasn't going ballistic, I want to be treated fair because a military lawyer inquired about it. and sacrifices? those are mine to share at my discretion. I really don't need your personal opinion, just advice and maybe even personal experience, but i can see now you have been emotionally compromised and damaged any integrity to give advice, please stop posting me.

 

[Alex1176]

Really? Then tell us exactly what you've done over the past 5 years to see your child. So far, you haven't stated ANY real effort to see your child. Maybe a few emails or phone calls to Mom and that's it.

You know how much it cost to kill a man in Peru? 5$. I have served in the military, been in war, and I will tell you the truth that I will not go to a third world country with hostile relatives.

Supporting your child? I think it's amazing how someone can insist that they want to support their child, but they go ballistic over paying the state-mandated amount. So you want to support your child as long as you don't have to make any sacrifices? Sorry, that's not supporting your child.

I can see his point. 1000$ in Peru is like 10,000 here. The purpose of CS is to reimburse the mother for the expenses of raising a child, not to make her rich.

 

[fair parent]

You know how much it cost to kill a man in Peru? 5$. I have served in the military, been in war, and I will tell you the truth that I will not go to a third world country with hostile relatives.

I can see his point. 1000$ in Peru is like 10,000 here. The purpose of CS is to reimburse the mother for the expenses of raising a child, not to make her rich.

I would love to shake your hand if I could!

 

[fair parent]

Thanks man.
You need to understand, that CS is usually calculated according to your possibility to pay, and not according the expenses of the child. There are people who paying 50$ a month and even nothing. Again, it all depends on your earnings and how you lost your high income job.
In my case I told my wife that if she is going to U-n she won't see a dime from me, even if I will be in jail. So she is here now, I see my child and there is some chance even to reunite.

I was told "around the camp fire" that child support is established for where the child resides if he lives in New York, I would have to pay out more and vice versa. What if where I earn income becomes the sate mandated rate? So what if I move and work in another state? Either higher/lower income? Would I hae to appeal? I also hear that een if I move to a lower income region, that the rates will not change, the support order will be supported by the same state.

 

[Alex1176]

I was told "around the camp fire" that child support is established for where the child resides if he lives in New York, I would have to pay out more and vice versa. What if where I earn income becomes the sate mandated rate? So what if I move and work in another state? Either higher/lower income? Would I hae to appeal? I also hear that een if I move to a lower income region, that the rates will not change, the support order will be supported by the same state.

They did not tell you the truth. Sorry.
CS established by the guidelines of the state, and it very depends on your earnings. Not on the kiddo location.
Go to your state CSE site and find a calculator for CS.
You can lower your CS, in your case, only if your income decreased involuntarily (for example, lay off or firing in certain circumstances).

 

[LdiJ]

I know of the Hague convention. Are there others? I do know she went through the american embassy there. Maybe I should get in contact with them again. But they didn't tell me about any treaty for child support. Does Peru even have established child support rates that are enforced by DCSE?

Ok, if she went through the embassy then it was handled according to treaty, and probably not the Hague Convention but a separate child support treaty.

Pro is giving you a hard time about denying US citizenship to your child. That is appalling on your part.