C/S to another country? Taxes too

[fair parent]

Thats what I don't understand, how was VA involved anyways? Shouldn't PA determine the rates? I need to understand the system. I was lied to, manipulated and blackmailed. She really did a number on me. She got pissed off I didn't sign the papers when the kid was five months old. She told me it was for travel. to gain a visa. I told her the kid was too young to travel and she was pissed so she filed for child support. What was I supposed to do? I didn't have money to get a lawyer then and the Division of child support enforcement center in VA lied to me and left me confused and unhelped. So i took it for what it was and felt defeated. What else could I do? I didn't know I had any options. So now that I have saved up a bit to help myself, is it so wrong to try now after five years? She wants the papers for citizenship i know, but Im not going to give it to him unless I have custody and he lives with me. That seems pretty fair, otherwise she was looking for an anchor baby in the first place. What do I do before I start looking for lawyers? i need a good one too. What are my rights? I don't want to giver her the citizenship even if its for my son because she holds all the cards right now and if I sign those papers, I fear I will never see him at all. She even told me once that after I sign the papers, they are going to take a trip to disney and if I want to see my son at all, I should fly there and see him there. The american embassy says Peruvian law will not allow her to travel without endorsement from the father. This is the only leverage I have against her. I want to be fair but she really makes it hard. I was looking into the taxes to find a little extra cash to help with expected expenses. I k now the hague convention does not allow me to take him from her and I woulnd't do that anyways. But right now we hold no other court mandated visitation or anything. She is just the custodial parent and Im not. No other agreement was notarized or agreed upon by a judge. So I think I might have a chance. A small one, to go to courts to at least establish the visitation.

 

[stealth2]

Thats what I don't understand, how was VA involved anyways? Shouldn't PA determine the rates? I need to understand the system. I was lied to, manipulated and blackmailed. She really did a number on me. She got pissed off I didn't sign the papers when the kid was five months old. She told me it was for travel. to gain a visa. I told her the kid was too young to travel and she was pissed so she filed for child support. What was I supposed to do? I didn't have money to get a lawyer then and the Division of child support enforcement center in VA lied to me and left me confused and unhelped. So i took it for what it was and felt defeated. What else could I do? I didn't know I had any options. So now that I have saved up a bit to help myself, is it so wrong to try now after five years? She wants the papers for citizenship i know, but Im not going to give it to him unless I have custody and he lives with me. That seems pretty fair, otherwise she was looking for an anchor baby in the first place. What do I do before I start looking for lawyers? i need a good one too. What are my rights? I don't want to giver her the citizenship even if its for my son because she holds all the cards right now and if I sign those papers, I fear I will never see him at all. She even told me once that after I sign the papers, they are going to take a trip to disney and if I want to see my son at all, I should fly there and see him there. The american embassy says Peruvian law will not allow her to travel without endorsement from the father. This is the only leverage I have against her. I want to be fair but she really makes it hard. I was looking into the taxes to find a little extra cash to help with expected expenses. I k now the hague convention does not allow me to take him from her and I woulnd't do that anyways. But right now we hold no other court mandated visitation or anything. She is just the custodial parent and Im not. No other agreement was notarized or agreed upon by a judge. So I think I might have a chance. A small one, to go to courts to at least establish the visitation.

You're not going to get custody. The child doesn't know you. Expect visitation to be supervised, and very possibly in Peru. At least to start.

 

[mistoffolees]

There are treaties between the US and many foreign countries regarding child support. If mom invoked a treaty then that would give VA the right to set and enforce child support.

That doesn't mean that mom submitted to VA jurisdiction. Peru would most firmly have jurisdiction over visitation and custody as the child has never resided in the US and has been a Peru resident since birth.

That's why I asked if VA was simply enforcing a foreign order. And it sounds like it really was a VA order since OP says he's paying VA rates.

Of course, if it IS the case that VA is simply enforcing a Peru order, then OP has no complaint about paying VA rates for a child living in Peru.

 

[mistoffolees]

Thats what I don't understand, how was VA involved anyways? Shouldn't PA determine the rates? I need to understand the system. I was lied to, manipulated and blackmailed. She really did a number on me. She got pissed off I didn't sign the papers when the kid was five months old. She told me it was for travel. to gain a visa. I told her the kid was too young to travel and she was pissed so she filed for child support. What was I supposed to do? I didn't have money to get a lawyer then and the Division of child support enforcement center in VA lied to me and left me confused and unhelped. So i took it for what it was and felt defeated. What else could I do? I didn't know I had any options. So now that I have saved up a bit to help myself, is it so wrong to try now after five years? She wants the papers for citizenship i know, but Im not going to give it to him unless I have custody and he lives with me. That seems pretty fair, otherwise she was looking for an anchor baby in the first place. What do I do before I start looking for lawyers? i need a good one too. What are my rights? I don't want to giver her the citizenship even if its for my son because she holds all the cards right now and if I sign those papers, I fear I will never see him at all. She even told me once that after I sign the papers, they are going to take a trip to disney and if I want to see my son at all, I should fly there and see him there. The american embassy says Peruvian law will not allow her to travel without endorsement from the father. This is the only leverage I have against her. I want to be fair but she really makes it hard. I was looking into the taxes to find a little extra cash to help with expected expenses. I k now the hague convention does not allow me to take him from her and I woulnd't do that anyways. But right now we hold no other court mandated visitation or anything. She is just the custodial parent and Im not. No other agreement was notarized or agreed upon by a judge. So I think I might have a chance. A small one, to go to courts to at least establish the visitation.

I don't think we're getting the whole story. I think it's possible that you don't really understand the situation, either.

1. Exactly what does the order say about child support?
2. Where was the CS order issued?
3. Is the VA order enforcing a foreign order or is it the original order for CS?
4. Does the VA order say ANYTHING about custody and/or visitation?
5. Why in the world would you think PA is involved? You're stationed in VA and apparently were when you had your fling with Mom. Mom never lived in PA and the child certainly never did.

In the end, though, the facts are that Mom had every legal right to move to Peru while she was pregnant and the child is then subject to Peru's rules on custody and visitation. You have the right to go to Peru (or hire an attorney there) to file for visitation rights. I have no idea how it works in Peru or what your rights might be.

You may or may get any visitation (and if you do, it may be supervised). That will be controlled by Peru's laws. If, for example, they consider you to have abandoned the child because you've never made any effort to see her, it could be that their laws remove your visitation rights. I'm not saying that's the case - I really have no idea. But unless your VA orders address visitation, you will probably be bound by their laws, not ours.

It's unfortunate, but that's the chance you take when you have sex with someone. You chose to have sex with someone who did not have ties to the U.S. or any loyalty to you. This is one of the few cases where having a uterus does give Mom the advantage. And Stealth is absolutely right. You have zero chance of getting custody. The child is a citizen of Peru and lives there and you have never even met the child.

So answer the questions above. And if you don't understand what the documents mean, take them to an attorney.

 

[fair parent]

I didn't receive anything other than what the common wealth of virginia department of social services gave me. I do not see where there is anything other than an admiinistrative support order.
"The Common Wealth of Virginia or the state of providing child support enforcement services based upon application of a parent or caretaker, or upon payment of Temporary Assistance to Needy Families (TANF) benefits the persons identified below, Pursuant to the Virginia Code sections listed at the end of this order (VA is supporting the order APECS 202 REV. 7/07), these dependants XXXXXX are entitled to support from the obligor, who has a financial obligation to pay through the Department of Socail Services Devision of Child Support Enforcement (DCSE) according the checked below..... yadda yadda"
thats what I got
The child support amount resulted from use of the child support guidelines set forth in VA. Code 20-108.2 was a checked box.

 

[Proserpina]

Thats what I don't understand, how was VA involved anyways? Shouldn't PA determine the rates? I need to understand the system. I was lied to, manipulated and blackmailed. She really did a number on me. She got pissed off I didn't sign the papers when the kid was five months old. She told me it was for travel. to gain a visa. I told her the kid was too young to travel and she was pissed so she filed for child support.

Stop a second. Why would a 5 month old be too young to travel?

And more to the point, why SHOULDN'T she file for child support?

Be careful slinging mud. You'll leave your own hands dirty.

What was I supposed to do? I didn't have money to get a lawyer then and the Division of child support enforcement center in VA lied to me and left me confused and unhelped. So i took it for what it was and felt defeated. What else could I do? I didn't know I had any options. So now that I have saved up a bit to help myself, is it so wrong to try now after five years? She wants the papers for citizenship i know, but Im not going to give it to him unless I have custody and he lives with me.

So this isn't about what's best for the child at all.

That seems pretty fair, otherwise she was looking for an anchor baby in the first place.

What do I do before I start looking for lawyers? i need a good one too. What are my rights? I don't want to giver her the citizenship even if its for my son because she holds all the cards right now and if I sign those papers, I fear I will never see him at all. She even told me once that after I sign the papers, they are going to take a trip to disney and if I want to see my son at all, I should fly there and see him there. The american embassy says Peruvian law will not allow her to travel without endorsement from the father. This is the only leverage I have against her. I want to be fair but she really makes it hard. I was looking into the taxes to find a little extra cash to help with expected expenses. I k now the hague convention does not allow me to take him from her and I woulnd't do that anyways. But right now we hold no other court mandated visitation or anything. She is just the custodial parent and Im not. No other agreement was notarized or agreed upon by a judge. So I think I might have a chance. A small one, to go to courts to at least establish the visitation.

I'm sorry folks, but this reeks of getting back at Mom and nothing else. There is NOTHING here about what's actually, you know, in the CHILD'S best interest.

And it speaks volumes.

 

[fair parent]

Why would VA be involved? Im not a resident, I am a resident of PA. VA doesn't have anything on me except I am stationed here and there is a patriot act that holds me exempt from some state and local laws. not much but enough for me to wonder why VA is supporting this order

 

[stealth2]

I'm sorry folks, but this reeks of getting back at Mom and nothing else. There is NOTHING here about what's actually, you know, in the CHILD'S best interest.

And it speaks volumes.

Of course it does.

 

[fair parent]

Are you kidding me? Im getting back at her? You have this all wrong. Im trying to protect my rights as a father. I understand any child is obligated to monetary and emotional support from both parents. Monetary support is without a doubt given and hapily. This is what you don't see. the emotional support?? I cant do much. as I well understand that it is a mothers duty to her unborn child to concieve out of love and plan for greatness. Lets not forget this was a two way street. She, like eveyone else, goes to school and even peruvians learn about biology, that yes, women get pregnant if having unprotected sex. If she knew this, then why would she take the risk of getting pregnant when she had sex? Im down to support my child, but i would like it to be fair. She has alternative motives if you can believe, my family doesn't want anything to do with her after what she put them through, she has proven to be a less desirable person to be with. Besides all this, I still want to be a father in my childs life. she just makes it hard to do so. the emotional support is what im trying so hard to find a way to do while dealing with her shinanegans. I offer a way, she offers an unrealistic response. I try to send gifts, she says she doesn't recieve them, I can't talk to him because he doesn't speak english even though the money as we agreed, should have paid for english lessons in a school for his age-so she says. It seems SHE is trying to see what she can get out of the system. And yes, I beleive 5 months is too young to travel. If you don't like it too bad. thats my belief. besides, later on I find out it was a lie (amongst others)to get me to sign the citizenship papers. I told her I would, if I had custody, if she really cares about whats best, then the schools, benefits, here in america vs any south american country would be the best. She should consider it. Nope a chance. So now what? are we going to argue about morals and what I should have done? Sorry, I thought I was screwed and never to see my kid. Thats a lot of child support for a south american country and to consider lowering it so I can afford to visit was out of the question. Tell me that doesn't sound like she doesn't care if I see him or not?

 

[mistoffolees]

Why would VA be involved? Im not a resident, I am a resident of PA. VA doesn't have anything on me except I am stationed here and there is a patriot act that holds me exempt from some state and local laws. not much but enough for me to wonder why VA is supporting this order

It's involved because you let it be involved. If VA had no jurisdiction, you should have immediately filed an objection to the administrative hearing on the basis of lack of jurisdiction.

You really need an attorney.

 

[Proserpina]

Are you kidding me? Im getting back at her? You have this all wrong. Im trying to protect my rights as a father. I understand any child is obligated to monetary and emotional support from both parents. Monetary support is without a doubt given and hapily. This is what you don't see. the emotional support?? I cant do much. as I well understand that it is a mothers duty to her unborn child to concieve out of love and plan for greatness. Lets not forget this was a two way street. She, like eveyone else, goes to school and even peruvians learn about biology, that yes, women get pregnant if having unprotected sex. If she knew this, then why would she take the risk of getting pregnant when she had sex? Im down to support my child, but i would like it to be fair. She has alternative motives if you can believe, my family doesn't want anything to do with her after what she put them through, she has proven to be a less desirable person to be with. Besides all this, I still want to be a father in my childs life. she just makes it hard to do so. the emotional support is what im trying so hard to find a way to do while dealing with her shinanegans. I offer a way, she offers an unrealistic response. I try to send gifts, she says she doesn't recieve them, I can't talk to him because he doesn't speak english even though the money as we agreed, should have paid for english lessons in a school for his age-so she says. It seems SHE is trying to see what she can get out of the system. And yes, I beleive 5 months is too young to travel. If you don't like it too bad. thats my belief. besides, later on I find out it was a lie (amongst others)to get me to sign the citizenship papers. I told her I would, if I had custody, if she really cares about whats best, then the schools, benefits, here in america vs any south american country would be the best. She should consider it. Nope a chance. So now what? are we going to argue about morals and what I should have done? Sorry, I thought I was screwed and never to see my kid. Thats a lot of child support for a south american country and to consider lowering it so I can afford to visit was out of the question. Tell me that doesn't sound like she doesn't care if I see him or not?

The courts don't care what you think about travel. The airlines and the courts themselves regularly allow teeny tiny babies to travel with adults on huge great big flying machines.

Maybe she sees you and thinks she's the better parent. Maybe she's right. Who knows?

Bottom line is you need an attorney. And you're not getting custody of that child unless Mom voluntarily hands him over to you.

The best you can hope for is visitation - and it will be supervised to begin with.

 

[fair parent]

thats what im trying to simply do. Do what I can. But I would like to know if C/S was fairly determined for VA, any advice, and heads up I can get vs. getting bashed. Anything could help before I go out and pay too much or get in too deep. Im not asking anyone to judge me, just some help.

 

[fair parent]

It's involved because you let it be involved. If VA had no jurisdiction, you should have immediately filed an objection to the administrative hearing on the basis of lack of jurisdiction

I did appeal it, but the DCSE didn't do anything to offer any assistance. I didn't know what to do, its not like I do this all the time. Besides they are at the advantage of having the knowledge and I don't.

 

[mistoffolees]

It's involved because you let it be involved. If VA had no jurisdiction, you should have immediately filed an objection to the administrative hearing on the basis of lack of jurisdiction

I did appeal it, but the DCSE didn't do anything to offer any assistance. I didn't know what to do, its not like I do this all the time. Besides they are at the advantage of having the knowledge and I don't.

DSCE has no obligation to help you.

Why didn't you hire an attorney if you didn't know what to do?

And how does that justify you're not making any effort to see the child for 5 years?

 

[fair parent]

There are treaties between the US and many foreign countries regarding child support. If mom invoked a treaty then that would give VA the right to set and enforce child support.

That doesn't mean that mom submitted to VA jurisdiction. Peru would most firmly have jurisdiction over visitation and custody as the child has never resided in the US and has been a Peru resident since birth.

I know of the Hague convention. Are there others? I do know she went through the american embassy there. Maybe I should get in contact with them again. But they didn't tell me about any treaty for child support. Does Peru even have established child support rates that are enforced by DCSE?