Dads rights w/out court order yet

[snostar]

Only if you drink it out of BB's warm and fuzzy navel.

And take pics.

Lots and lots of pics.

LMAO! I'll even give out my email for that! Who ever said it was fuzzy?

 

[dallas702]

Belize is right. I forgot the part about not having established paternity. She can go wherever she wants with the child until the court orders otherwise. Definitely time to start a new, or renewed, life.

 

[Mbarr]

Unless you are under a restraining order, you can contact grandmother and request to visit your child at her home. However, if grandmother says no and requests that you not call or come by again, you should heed what she says to avoid being charged with harassment. Also, you should be sober when you contact grandmother to minimize the chance of poor outcome.

When you do go to court to seek specific rights, it is very unlikely that you would receive custody due to your multiple dui's and admitted active alcoholism. Any visitation awarded will likely be strictly supervised and require that you not be under the influence of alcohol.

For your benefit and your child's benefit, you should continue to seek help with your disease. If you are a good parent during times of sobriety, wouldn't it be wonderful if your child could experience that all of the time.

Your posts show a lot of anger (do you have ptsd?), particularly at women. If I recall correctly, your child is a girl and she will one day be a woman. You should consider seeking counseling or anger management, for your sake as well. It isn't much easier being the person who has an explosive temper, than it is being on the receiving end of it. I know you don't want to subject your child to that, and the older they get the more frustrating they can become. I recall that you have limited funds, as you have no income. Are you eligible for treatment at a VA facility? They offer treatment for ptsd, and related problems.

 

[casa]

Unless you are under a restraining order, you can contact grandmother and request to visit your child at her home. However, if grandmother says no and requests that you not call or come by again, you should heed what she says to avoid being charged with harassment. Also, you should be sober when you contact grandmother to minimize the chance of poor outcome.

When you do go to court to seek specific rights, it is very unlikely that you would receive custody due to your multiple dui's and admitted active alcoholism. Any visitation awarded will likely be strictly supervised and require that you not be under the influence of alcohol.

For your benefit and your child's benefit, you should continue to seek help with your disease. If you are a good parent during times of sobriety, wouldn't it be wonderful if your child could experience that all of the time.

Your posts show a lot of anger (do you have ptsd?), particularly at women. If I recall correctly, your child is a girl and she will one day be a woman. You should consider seeking counseling or anger management, for your sake as well. It isn't much easier being the person who has an explosive temper, than it is being on the receiving end of it. I know you don't want to subject your child to that, and the older they get the more frustrating they can become. I recall that you have limited funds, as you have no income. Are you eligible for treatment at a VA facility? They offer treatment for ptsd, and related problems.

Same advice I gave him on his other thread (re; VA and PTSD).

OP if you are still around~ The difference between in &/or outpatient treatment programs and RECOVERY...is that in AA you never 'stop' treatment. You continue to go on a daily basis if that's what is needed. You can get a sponsor, so you have someone to call during times of crisis/temptation, etc. If you are alcoholic, you will never get better with ANY temporary solution- You need an ongoing commitment to sobriety. IF you can make that kind of commitment in re; to being a father, then you should be able to do so for yourself. You can't properly love and care for your child, until you learn to love and care for yourself.

 

[Just Blue]

You might try different AA meetings....my x always said that AA didn't "work" for him ......until he broke my foot in a drunken rage. ( he didn't know my foot was there when he hit the bed with a belt buckle, I maintain my foot has always been at the end of my leg.) Well ...he was arrested and ordered to do AA . He tried different meetings and he did find one for him. So keep trying ...for your child sake!

And by the way..... go to a doctor...you have deep mental problems...very scarey to read your posts!!

 

[tigger22472]

( he didn't know my foot was there when he hit the bed with a belt buckle, I maintain my foot has always been at the end of my leg.)

OMG.. that's too funny.

As the ex of an alcoholic I feel your pain!.. Well not literally as I didn't have a broken bone but I had a few golden showers and MANY embarrassing moments in private and public

 

[Veronica1228]

OMG.. that's too funny.

As the ex of an alcoholic I feel your pain!.. Well not literally as I didn't have a broken bone but I had a few golden showers and MANY embarrassing moments in private and public

Tig honey, I love you and all, but this is TMI!!!

 

[tigger22472]

Tig honey, I love you and all, but this is TMI!!!

Hey, when you live with an alcoholic life is... shall we say different... and not in a good, and exciting way! Sometimes when you put it in perspective for others they see how bad it really can be.

 

[Just Blue]

OMG.. that's too funny.

As the ex of an alcoholic I feel your pain!.. Well not literally as I didn't have a broken bone but I had a few golden showers and MANY embarrassing moments in private and public

I have had to replace furniture because he passed out and pissed himself! THEN he started to take OTC cold pills.....boy that was fun! Much worse than dealing with him drunk.....I feel kinda bad for him...

 

[tigger22472]

I have had to replace furniture because he passed out and pissed himself! THEN he started to take OTC cold pills.....boy that was fun! Much worse than dealing with him drunk.....I feel kinda bad for him...

I got over feeling bad after a few years (if it took that long). At first you help them to bed, get their shoes off, make sure they are comfortable. Later you just make sure that when they fall they don't fall on one of the kids and where they fall is where they sleep.

 

[Just Blue]

I got over feeling bad after a few years (if it took that long). At first you help them to bed, get their shoes off, make sure they are comfortable. Later you just make sure that when they fall they don't fall on one of the kids and where they fall is where they sleep.[/QUOTE)

Yeah...that was me too....only I wasn't as nice as you....I didn't take off the shoes! And I would kick him out of the house if he was drinking or drugging...didn' want that around the girls.

I can't imagine what it must be like to be in his head....and he can't see the kids because of the drugs (cold pills), he can'tr be trusted. He wouldn't think twice about taking them in the car! His last arrest I called the police when he took off in the car...thought he would kill someone! Oh well.....only he can save himself...I just take care of the girls and try and give them the best life I can!

OK...I think I am guilty of highjacking ...bye

 

[tigger22472]

In this case it might be ok. Maybe by us talking about the affects that alcohol has had on our lives and the lives of our children this poster will see that alcohol DOES play a part in what kind of father he is and maybe he WILL find a program and stick with it.

On that note, to the poster,

As I told you earlier, you should ask my 14 year old what affects the fact his biological father's alcoholism has had on him. He knows that besides the I believe 2 professional pictures we had done there is not one single picture in 10 years of his bio where he's either NOT got a beer in his hand or is drunk in the picture already. He (as well as my 12 yr old) remembers all the times he passed out, all the times he said off the wall things and how he chose beer over them.

I never did drink often and since my current husband's accident it has been even less as he can't due to medication. However, this past New Years Eve I had a bottle of wine here at the house that I opened. I poured a very small amount in a glass and handed it to my son. He took a little sip, didn't mind the taste but then asked if it it was alcohol. When I stated yes he handed it directly back to me and his exact words were "Do you NOT remember life with your ex husband?" Now, I'm not saying that I condone things or that I want my child to be a raging alcoholic (and with it in his genes that could happen since MOST of bio's family is) but I do find it a bit sad that at 14 he has such and adverse feeling about it. THIS is a direct result of what an alcoholic PARENT does to a child.

Don't let this happen to your child. Get the help you need, turn your life around and then start being the parent that your child needs. Teach her from your mistakes... but YOU have to learn from YOUR mistakes first. You can't help her until you help yourself.

 

[Just Blue]

In this case it might be ok. Maybe by us talking about the affects that alcohol has had on our lives and the lives of our children this poster will see that alcohol DOES play a part in what kind of father he is and maybe he WILL find a program and stick with it.

On that note, to the poster,

As I told you earlier, you should ask my 14 year old what affects the fact his biological father's alcoholism has had on him. He knows that besides the I believe 2 professional pictures we had done there is not one single picture in 10 years of his bio where he's either NOT got a beer in his hand or is drunk in the picture already. He (as well as my 12 yr old) remembers all the times he passed out, all the times he said off the wall things and how he chose beer over them.

I never did drink often and since my current husband's accident it has been even less as he can't due to medication. However, this past New Years Eve I had a bottle of wine here at the house that I opened. I poured a very small amount in a glass and handed it to my son. He took a little sip, didn't mind the taste but then asked if it it was alcohol. When I stated yes he handed it directly back to me and his exact words were "Do you NOT remember life with your ex husband?" Now, I'm not saying that I condone things or that I want my child to be a raging alcoholic (and with it in his genes that could happen since MOST of bio's family is) but I do find it a bit sad that at 14 he has such and adverse feeling about it. THIS is a direct result of what an alcoholic PARENT does to a child.

Don't let this happen to your child. Get the help you need, turn your life around and then start being the parent that your child needs. Teach her from your mistakes... but YOU have to learn from YOUR mistakes first. You can't help her until you help yourself.

AMEN!! My 15 yr old hates her father and won't even talk about him...she is in therapy so that she will not have issues with all men...also in alanon (sp?).My 3 yr old ....well she doesn't even remember him, he was never around , always out drinking...and now she hasn't seen him for almost a year.

Poster...Get help...there is a meeting that will help you just keep trying ...talk to people at the meetings and they might be able to direct you to one that is more suited to you. Good luck!