Dawn,
I am coming in late to the party...
First, allow me to add my voice to the chorus. I am very proud of you. Not just for standing up for yourself and your kids - though that is a very large part of my admiration - but also for all those people that these folks would use these tactics on in the future. People such as these know no boundaries and have no internal moral compass.
Second, I want to offer another line of suggestion. I don't know how old your daughter is... but have you ever thought about martial arts?
yeah, I know.. it sounds so aggressive. It really isn't. With the right teacher in the right gym, martial arts is about empowerment.
Yes, it means you can handle yourself in a physical altercation. More than that, it gives you the confidence to never have to be in a physical altercation.
Martial arts are about discipline and out thinking your opponent. Making their aggression work against them.
Take your daughter along. It is NEVER too early to learn... okay, you have to be able to walk and a diaper tends to chafe.
not only that, but it will really firm up your legs and butt...
All kidding aside... it will teach your daughter (and her mother) that you can take charge of situations.
No, it is NOT about knowing how to kick the crap out of your ex. Martial arts are about training in case they try to kick the crap out of you.
Think of it this way. If you are giving a speech, you practice. You try to figure out the questions that will be asked so that you have your answers ready. Because you know that if you practice, the questions won't come at you cold... and if they come at you cold, you might freeze up or do the wrong thing.
Please let me share a story. A friend of mine is a former cop that worked his butt off and went to the FBI. After a number of years, he was hurt (in the line of duty) and so he retired... and now provides security to various "glitter people" all over the country.
He once told me that the secret to safety is merely "war gaming". Figuring out where trouble may lurk, figuring out how to combat that trouble and then practicing those responses.
The trouble may never come. However, if it does, he has already prepared his team as to the appropriate response. In fact, he firmly believes that preparation STOPS the trouble from coming.
This is more than physical fitness. It is about preparing yourself to win in the face of adversity.
I KNOW you will find a way to succeed. Good luck.