enough to reverse custody?

[johnsons]

two blood tests

He had two blood tests, two different doctors, both very high. He is 90 pounds overweight and diagnosed as morbidly obese. Both drs think it may be Type II diabetes. My son was diagnosed with something called hyperinsulinemia when he was 2 (78 pounds at 2 years old). I am concerned with the fact that the weight has skyrocketed out of control and the sugars still climb.

 

[johnsons]

clarification

To Hisbabygirl:

I did NOT wait 6 months to "throw a fit" about this. I have been fighting this since the end of June. That is part of reason ex stopped visits the first week of July- I was pushing so hard to get this done. Now I have had no choice but to let attorney handle it. Each time she agrees, she then changes mind. We (attorney and I) are now going to court to force the issue. However, we had to give her the benefit of the doubt before dragging her before a judge (so lawyer tells me).


Believe me, this is NOT something I have taken lightly. I have texts, emails, appointments, dr statements, etc about everything I've tried to do. Ex has gone so far as to move and change number (she got evicted), and since we had a designated meeting place, I did not know about any of it. So any letters have to be sent to her attorney, as she will not release her address to us yet.

 

[TheGeekess]

So you have left a (potential) diagnosis of Diabetes Type II go fully untreated for 6 months. Because your lawyer told you to. WRONG!

Guess you want your son dying of heart disease at 25. Guess you care more about proving that Mom is unfit, for whatever reason. You are no more fit than she is.

 

[johnsons]

do you know me

Seriously...grow up. You don't know everything about this case, and I've been extremely detailed. I monitor his weight (get copies of dr records every time he goes). That's the only thing I can do right now. My dr says that his (son's) weight staying the same the last few months is an indicator that he may NOT have diabetes, but the only way to know for sure is the full blood test.

My concern is his health, which is why I'm fighting so hard. However, if the doctors felt his life was in danger, they would have advised me of that and I would have gotten before the judge immediately. Give me a little credit for having a few brain cells and knowing how to "watch" my son without being able to see him. I'm doing the best I know how to do, and the only person to help is my lawyer.

Would you suggest I kidnap my son from school, force him to the doctor and go to jail for my actions?

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

To Hisbabygirl:

I did NOT wait 6 months to "throw a fit" about this. I have been fighting this since the end of June. That is part of reason ex stopped visits the first week of July- I was pushing so hard to get this done. Now I have had no choice but to let attorney handle it. Each time she agrees, she then changes mind. We (attorney and I) are now going to court to force the issue. However, we had to give her the benefit of the doubt before dragging her before a judge (so lawyer tells me).


Believe me, this is NOT something I have taken lightly. I have texts, emails, appointments, dr statements, etc about everything I've tried to do. Ex has gone so far as to move and change number (she got evicted), and since we had a designated meeting place, I did not know about any of it. So any letters have to be sent to her attorney, as she will not release her address to us yet.

When I took my child to ER for symptoms of extreme thirst ect and they saw that he had high blood sugar the IMMEDIATLY hopsitilized him. Maybe you should try bringing your son to the ER for symptoms and see if they do the same. Then ex can't say anthing and you did it on your time. Explain your concerns to the ER doctor. Maybe they will see your point and work with you to make sure that it is dealt with right away.

 

[johnsons]

I haven't seen my son since July 5th. Ex has withheld visitation since then, and have been fighting through lawyer since. Have court January 8th, but pushing like heck to get in before then.

Monitoring school, weight gain/loss and talking to his therapist- that's all I can do for now, according to my lawyer. Maybe what I'm doing isn't the right thing for everyone, but at least I'm trying to be as involved as I can and am trying to do it the right way.

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

I haven't seen my son since July 5th. Ex has withheld visitation since then, and have been fighting through lawyer since. Have court January 8th, but pushing like heck to get in before then.

Monitoring school, weight gain/loss and talking to his therapist- that's all I can do for now, according to my lawyer. Maybe what I'm doing isn't the right thing for everyone, but at least I'm trying to be as involved as I can and am trying to do it the right way.

I understand, I meant when you are able. Listen, you feel that you are neglecting his medical needs or that you are doing something illegal. Its a rough spot. Just realize that Jan 8th is not that far away. Listen to your atty at this point he/she knows the details of your case that we don't know.

 

[johnsons]

Thanks for understanding. I know I probably sound like the "mean" guy attacking his ex. I do NOT want to take my son from his mom, but I feel like she's giving me no choice. They love each other very much. I just want her to realize that we have JOINT custody- she does not have sole. And we made our son together. Even if we aren't together, we can at least share in the parenting.

I think she's angry she's stuck in the same old life and I've grown up and moved on, but that is no reason to punish my son and I like this.

Admitting he has issues is not a reflection of her parenting- it's a simple fact. The fault is not in the issues- it's in the not doing anything about them.

If she would start taking proper care of our son or allowing me to, and if she quit withholding him EVERY time she got angry, then there would be no reason for court.

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

Thanks for understanding. I know I probably sound like the "mean" guy attacking his ex. I do NOT want to take my son from his mom, but I feel like she's giving me no choice. They love each other very much. I just want her to realize that we have JOINT custody- she does not have sole. And we made our son together. Even if we aren't together, we can at least share in the parenting.

I think she's angry she's stuck in the same old life and I've grown up and moved on, but that is no reason to punish my son and I like this.

Admitting he has issues is not a reflection of her parenting- it's a simple fact. The fault is not in the issues- it's in the not doing anything about them.

If she would start taking proper care of our son or allowing me to, and if she quit withholding him EVERY time she got angry, then there would be no reason for court.

That is what the courts are for. It is best to utilize them and then in the future she will not be able to withold your child without answering to the courts. As a mother of a diabetic (although type 1) I understand your concerns and they are valid. Just make sure when you can, that you do not delay in getting him medical treatment. Diabetes is not something to mess with nor is a child of that age being morbidly obese. The lifestyle and eating patterns he learns at this age are the ones he will continue until adulthood.

 

[Proserpina]

Seriously...grow up. You don't know everything about this case, and I've been extremely detailed. I monitor his weight (get copies of dr records every time he goes). That's the only thing I can do right now. My dr says that his (son's) weight staying the same the last few months is an indicator that he may NOT have diabetes, but the only way to know for sure is the full blood test.

My concern is his health, which is why I'm fighting so hard. However, if the doctors felt his life was in danger, they would have advised me of that and I would have gotten before the judge immediately. Give me a little credit for having a few brain cells and knowing how to "watch" my son without being able to see him. I'm doing the best I know how to do, and the only person to help is my lawyer.

Would you suggest I kidnap my son from school, force him to the doctor and go to jail for my actions?

BUY A DAMN GLUCOSE MONITOR. Or two - one for you, one for your ex. Please?

This is unrelated, but here we go. My late husband died at the age of 31, from the eventual complications of diabetes. CHF, renal failure, the works. I never, ever want to see anyone else go through that.

/end hijack.

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

BUY A DAMN GLUCOSE MONITOR. Or two - one for you, one for your ex. Please?

This is unrelated, but here we go. My late husband died at the age of 31, from the eventual complications of diabetes. CHF, renal failure, the works. I never, ever want to see anyone else go through that.

/end hijack.

I understand your concern dog, but he hasn't had access to his child to be able to do this. I am sure if he had he would have done so. He seems to generally be as involved as he can at this point and to care about his childs health. I am sure when given the opportunity he will do all of the above suggestions.

 

[johnsons]

I have a glucose monitor that I purchased right after I got the results from the doctors. Knowing what my family members went through, I did want to stay on top of things. My wife's grandma is an RN and her (wife's) sister-in-law is an RN and both are diabetic. Both are helping plan meals designed to keep his weight and blood sugars in check.

Again, doing everything I can think of to do. Believe me, if I thought taking him from school and not sending him back to her would help, I would have done it months ago. But being the dad, my hands are tied. She's getting away with ignoring these things (for now) because she's the mom, and it's frustrating.

I email his teachers regularly and call his doctor at least twice a month to see if my son has been back to the doctor, and get copies of records if he has. (assuming she hasn't switched doctors like she's done before)

I don't know what else to do. I've tried everything I can think of. There's so very much more to this story, and it's hard when people are judging me based on partial facts. I want him healthy. But to ensure that he STAYS healthy, I have to pursue this in court. The judge is the only one with the power to ensure that my ex does the right thing. She has agreed to appointments before and when I show up, she no call/no shows.

No one can answer- what are the chances I will be able to get custody? Even temporary custody to see to his health and school and speech and emotional issues?

 

[Ohiogal]

What have you filed so far? Have you filed for emergency orders to therapy and pediatrician? Have you filed to enforce visitation after you tried to pick up your child consistently for your time at the proper place and time? Have you done anything to enforce your rights and protect your son?

If not, then I would guess no.

 

[johnsons]

My attorney has filed several motions, but I would have to pull the file to list them all for you. Depositions have been taken, letters back and forth.

We (attorney and I) have filed contempt paperwork, but it takes time to get into court. Depositions taken, doctors talked to, etc. I call the police (on attorney's advice) each and every time that my ex is not at the exchange point on my visit days.

Before we (atty and I) filed an emergency order, we (atty and I) needed to find out if there was a REASON she wasn't taking him- scheduling conflict, dr decided test wasn't really needed, etc. After finding out that it was simply a case of SHE decided there was nothing wrong, then all balls were put in motion.

I think that calling and emailing doctors, therapists, school IS trying to enforce my rights. You have no idea the resistance I face when trying to get my son's records! I have actually had to fax a copy of the state law that entitles me to records because one doctor and one teacher would not answer my questions until I stated that my attorney would be speaking to their attorney.

I call and/or text my ex often, even though she NEVER answers my calls, returns calls, allows me to talk to my son (even on Thanksgiving, no call).

I have STACKS of paperwork, research on his learning disabilities, speech, etc.

Do NOT tell me I am not doing anything! I hired an attorney the day after she denied visit and have been fighting ever since!

 

[gr8rn]

You are not understanding OG's point. And it is important. You have a court order, correct? Do you follow the court order for visitation? As in, if you have every other weekend, do you show up at the exchange place, as in the mothers house, or the local gas station or whereever? Do you send text saying I am coming on X day at X time to exercise court ordered visitation? Do you show up wherever the exchange place is, and wait? Do you purchase a drink at or near the meeting place to prove you were there and CP and child were not?

Have you filed for contempt? Based on the fact that the visitation has been refused for 6 months? Because if you have not seen your child for 5+ months and you are that concerned about your childs health, you would not still be waiting to see the inside of a courtroom. It would already have been done. You have a court order from the judge ordering the testing. She has been in contempt for that as well.