long distance parenting plan?

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

Flight Risk

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MN

What are the requirements for proving Flight Risk when asking for supervised visitations?

My sons father has emailed on several occasions stating "if I am going to pay X a month in cs, I may as well raise him", and other statements to the like.

Any ideas?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MN

What are the requirements for proving Flight Risk when asking for supervised visitations?

My sons father has emailed on several occasions stating "if I am going to pay X a month in cs, I may as well raise him", and other statements to the like.

Any ideas?

That's not a flight risk, that is merely a fairly normal statement from an irritated parent who has to pay child support.

An example of a flight risk is someone who is from another country and has threatened to run off with the child to the other country.

Or someone who committed a serious crime and is on the run from the cops.

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

That's not a flight risk, that is merely a fairly normal statement from an irritated parent who has to pay child support.

An example of a flight risk is someone who is from another country and has threatened to run off with the child to the other country.

Or someone who committed a serious crime and is on the run from the cops.

so, just for clarification, you don't think that he'd take my son to get out of paying? Not to be a smart mouth, but that's the vibe I get!

The other statement that was made was "get a job or I'll take (name of child) and you'll have to pay ME child support!"

didn't include that one in the original question.. sorry!

 

[starting over]

Dad cannot force you to get a job. Whether or no you have one, is not grounds for keeping or losing custody of a child. Hint, never take advice from an EX

 

[stealth2]

so, just for clarification, you don't think that he'd take my son to get out of paying? Not to be a smart mouth, but that's the vibe I get!

The other statement that was made was "get a job or I'll take (name of child) and you'll have to pay ME child support!"

didn't include that one in the original question.. sorry!

I don't see either of those as a flight risk. As LDi posted, it's a fairly normal comment from an annoyed NCP.

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

I don't see either of those as a flight risk. As LDi posted, it's a fairly normal comment from an annoyed NCP.

He'd be even more annoyed if he knew that by MN standards, he'd be paying nearly double what he is paying by WY standards!

 

[stealth2]

Which STILL does not make him a flight risk. Sorry.

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

Which STILL does not make him a flight risk. Sorry.

didn't mention that to see if it would.... just ironic though, isn't it?

 

[stealth2]

Not really. There is already a support order. So your point is pretty much moot.

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

Not really. There is already a support order. So your point is pretty much moot.

yup- support order in place, paying mostly monthly, mostly within the letter of the order...

 

[Humusluvr]

yup- support order in place, paying mostly monthly, mostly within the letter of the order...

Just to share my personal story with you, since it sounds like you are willing and somewhat cooperative with dad.

In my case, dad lives in texas, I live in Ohio with 18 month old. I usually snap a pic with my blackberry every day, and email to dad with a short "how kiddo is doing." I also have a pic in kiddo's room of dad and dad's other kiddo (my kiddo's half-sis) along with some deer antlers dad sent for kiddo.

Me and dad worked out visitation on our own. Dad can come up WHENEVER he wants, and visit kiddo. He stays at my parents house and plays with kiddo and gets to know him and kiddo is in a familiar environment. At some point I am aware that dad will want to take kiddo to Texas. And we will work it out when it happens. And I know it will, so I'm already ready for it.

I started reading here before kiddo was ever born. I have seen so much "what not to do," that I feel like the relationship between me, dad, and kiddo is GREAT. I know what mistakes not to make. I feel like there aren't any surprises.

And dad sends child support every two weeks. I put it in a special account, where it sits. I am currently building a deck on my house, where kiddo can play in his sandbox. But if that money never comes again, I can still pay for everything on my own. I never plan on it, it is just nice when I can do nice, extra things.

Best of luck to you, dad, and your kiddo.

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

Just to share my personal story with you, since it sounds like you are willing and somewhat cooperative with dad.

In my case, dad lives in texas, I live in Ohio with 18 month old. I usually snap a pic with my blackberry every day, and email to dad with a short "how kiddo is doing." I also have a pic in kiddo's room of dad and dad's other kiddo (my kiddo's half-sis) along with some deer antlers dad sent for kiddo.

Me and dad worked out visitation on our own. Dad can come up WHENEVER he wants, and visit kiddo. He stays at my parents house and plays with kiddo and gets to know him and kiddo is in a familiar environment. At some point I am aware that dad will want to take kiddo to Texas. And we will work it out when it happens. And I know it will, so I'm already ready for it.

I started reading here before kiddo was ever born. I have seen so much "what not to do," that I feel like the relationship between me, dad, and kiddo is GREAT. I know what mistakes not to make. I feel like there aren't any surprises.

And dad sends child support every two weeks. I put it in a special account, where it sits. I am currently building a deck on my house, where kiddo can play in his sandbox. But if that money never comes again, I can still pay for everything on my own. I never plan on it, it is just nice when I can do nice, extra things.

Best of luck to you, dad, and your kiddo.

All I can say is that I would like the two of us to be able to be effective CO-parents. However, I will not stand by and allow him to treat me like something that needs to be wiped off his boot like he has been since we split. He's the one who made the choice to leave us. I made the only choice I could and moved back to my mom's house where I could be safe, my son could be safe and we could heal.

I've tried calling before, ok... well I tried calling about a week after we left, he answered, acted like he didn't know who I was and then asked if he could call me back after work... next day, my phone was shut off (we were on a family plan back then). The gifts he sends I either have to store until our son is old enough to use or just put them to use elsewhere (I have a niece who's about a year and a half older than our son). He's never asked if he could send pics, never called to at least talk at our son on the phone. Nothing. Only demands and threats designed to hurt. I can only be burned so many times.

Dad could come up here (by himself) at any point with some notice so that I can make arrangements for him to stay somewhere (have to understand that family is piissed at his lack of involvement) and make sure that I am off of work or my mom could be there to supervise.

I started reading here about three weeks into this single parenthood, and have also seen what not to do. I really do try to make sure that things are going to be an easy transition for both me and our child when the time comes. I am in a better place emotionally now than I was back then.

As far as child support goes, I still rely on it to pay for a lot of things, daycare for one. Since I never know when (or if) to expect it, things are falling behind. I've only been back to work since March and have only recently refinanced some things to be able to better afford stuff. Someday soon, I hope to be able to stick that CS someplace and just let it accumulate interest, but for now, even not knowing when it's going to be there, every little bit helps!

Thanks for sharing!

 

[profmum]

Me and dad worked out visitation on our own. Dad can come up WHENEVER he wants, and visit kiddo. He stays at my parents house and plays with kiddo and gets to know him and kiddo is in a familiar environment.

I think it is commendabale for Humusluvr and her ex to be this amicable for the sake of their child. However, unless two co parents are really willing to work at things, the "whenever" visitation is a bad idea and leads to a lot of stress. OP, your relationship with the ex sounds contentious (as is the norm!), so a structured (and detailed) parenting plan is the way to go for you folks.

 

[CourtClerk]

I think it is commendabale for Humusluvr and her ex to be this amicable for the sake of their child. However, unless two co parents are really willing to work at things, the "whenever" visitation is a bad idea and leads to a lot of stress. OP, your relationship with the ex sounds contentious (as is the norm!), so a structured (and detailed) parenting plan is the way to go for you folks.

When you can separate emotion from parenting (which women usually CAN'T do), then whenever works.... especially since it's about the child's relationship with the other parent, and not about either of the parents at all. It requires people to be mature and act like adults. Obviously, most aren't there yet.

 

[profmum]

When you can separate emotion from parenting (which women usually CAN'T do), then whenever works.... especially since it's about the child's relationship with the other parent, and not about either of the parents at all. It requires people to be mature and act like adults. Obviously, most aren't there yet.

I disagree that mostly women who can't separate emotiom from parenting.. ! A lot of men also take very chilidish attitudes towards coparenting! While I agree that it certainly does take BOTH parents to act mature, but there are instances where no matter how mature one parent is, the other parent refuses to act like an adult (which as you know is why we have heavily loaded legal system in Family Law!). The only option in that scenario is for the mature parent to continue to be as mature as possible ALWAYS!