Marrying my child's father who owes back child support on our child to our state.

[msleigh]

Why did his employer do that? It's absolutely nothing to do them. The employer does what they're told to do.

His employer was a family friend who cared, that's why. Most decent people will attempt to correct an injustice when they observe one. In this case, the DCSS were in contact with his employer both verbally and in writing.

Why didn't your fiance question or appeal the amount?

HE DID. I've already said that -- the DCSS is unwilling to compromise or work out a reasonable amount of monthly payment. Like I said, they feel they know our finances better than we do. They base all of their estimates of his income on months where he worked 7 days a week on multiple projects.

That is why I am here -- I need to know what I can do being that we can't afford a lawyer. It is not a feasible option for us to pay what they ask. Again, can anyone help?


Time to relocate somewhere cheaper then.

And leave our family who provide free child care for us while we work? Again, that's not an option. Full-time childcare for a child our age exceeds per month what the DCSS thinks we should pay.

So has he filed to modify?

What does "filed to modify" mean? With who? How? Remember, this is why I am here -- for information.

He has written letters, met with them in person, and spoken to them over the phone. In doing so he has gotten nowhere.

There are hundreds - nay thousands - of people in the same situation.

Why can't I find any similar posts in the archives here or anywhere else if that's the case?

Why? Do you expect the taxpayers to support you? Your fiance is - and rightfully so - paying back what WE basically provided you during that time of hardship.


You know nothing of my life or values. I pay taxes. I work hard. My fiance works hard, as well. We have nothing to show for it, however, except for the roof over our heads, the food in our bellies, the clothes on our backs, and transportation to work. We aren't splurging on excesses to spite the taxpayers and DCSS. gWe receive no aid at this time and never again want to be in a situation where we feel like that is our only option. Please don't belittle someone asking for information.


Again, your case is not unique at all.

Any links you can provide? References to court cases? I've searched and searched and found nothing. I hope you're right, because another case like my own would be educational to me.


What IS he paying? Anything?

He is paying for his family (my son and I) to live -- if that doesn't count for anything in your eyes, perhaps you should apply for a job at DCSS. Again, that is why I am here -- he cannot pay the DCSS what they are asking, and they are unwilling to compromise. What can we do other than go broke and homeless repaying the state? Ideas? Anyone?

Again, I'm not here to be insulted. I need information.

 

[msleigh]

It is his fault that he didn't do anything about it - other than refuse to pay.

What else can you "do" when you're poor and can't afford legal counsel? He met with them in person, spoke to them on the phone, and responded in writing that their demands were too high -- all to no avail.

Please, tell me -- what can we do??? That's why I am here.

Thank you.

 

[Proserpina]

I don't know what you want to hear.

He has a responsibility to repay the State.

There's no way around that; he owes the money. There's no loophole. No way to make it go away or disappear. The State will - rightly - do whatever it takes to get their money.

I'm really not sure what else to tell you.

 

[Proserpina]

Well, there we have it.

 

[msleigh]

You're not quite "getting" it, are you? Please don't bother responding again.

What is right for the children is to have two parents supporting them.

He chose not to do that and instead let the State support them.

Now he must repay the State.

 

[Proserpina]

You're not quite "getting" it, are you? Please don't bother responding again.

YOU are the one not quite getting it. Your fiance owes the money. He gets to pay.


Good luck getting further help here.

 

[msleigh]

He did that. It didn't help. They kept charging money he couldn't pay. And, here we are two years later.

You still fail to reference even one of the supposed "thousands" of cases like mine. Anyone else?

He needed to - at the time - petition the COURT to modify the current CS order before he decided not to pay. He could have done that very easily in the CA court system which is very pro-se friendly (as a rule).

It's now too late to modify the amount.

He's stuck with repaying the amount DHSS says is due.

 

[msleigh]

Well, CourtClerk, if you're a public/state employee (especially in CA), you are probably more fortunate (in terms of pay, benefits, tenure, steady pay increases, union bargaining -- all at taxpayer expense, no less) than those of us who work the same number of hours per week you do in private industry for minimum wage.

Or, maybe, you're just a better person. Or, maybe, God loves your child more.

I don't know, which is it?

However, explain this to me:

Why am I, a single parent who has raised my child from birth virtually solo, without taking one single red cent of welfare money responsible for contributing one red cent towards the support of YOU AND YOUR CHILD? Why don't I deserve to be paid back?

How much are you contributing to MY household?

 

[cyjeff]

Maybe if I ask the question in another way....

How much in monthly support did you receive? Was it in the neighborhood of $500?

Yeah... it was.

You see, the state feels that they shouldn't have to support a child they didn't have the fun of making...

I suppose you think there is this big bucket of money the state has that your support should come out of because, well, you don't want to pay.

I guess you haven't been paying attention. The state is broke. There isn't any more money in the bucket and they want their's back.

So do the rest of the taxpayers.

I recommend your husband look for a second job.

 

[cyjeff]

Well, CourtClerk, if you're a public/state employee (especially in CA), you are probably more fortunate (in terms of pay, benefits, tenure, steady pay increases, union bargaining -- all at taxpayer expense, no less) than those of us who work the same number of hours per week you do in private industry for minimum wage.

Or, maybe, you're just a better person. Or, maybe, God loves your child more.

I don't know, which is it?

Well, she's not a bit....of a pain in the butt.

There's that.

 

[>Charlotte<]

I need information.

The information you want is how to get out of paying this debt.

We can't just snap our fingers and make the Legal Fairy sprinkle sparkly dust all over everything for you.

 

[CourtClerk]

He is paying for his family (my son and I) to live

Ahh, but see. That's where you're wrong. You're not his family, you're his friend. His son is his family.. and yes, I used to work for CSSD.

Now, you've got all this retort, but it's YOU that's asking for someone to help you and your sorry old friend who allowed his child to go on welfare. So perhaps you want to put your attitude back in your pocket and unleash it on your irreponsible boyfriend who did nothing - because at a minimum, if he had gone to court to modify the order, you'd know it, since you seem to know everything else.

Did anyone happen to run the numbers to see that $540/mo on a $1600 income isn't too far off from right? Nope. You see, you have to have an understanding on how CS is calculated, and no one, except for your boyfriend's boss cares how much his rent is or any of the rest of the stuff, PAYING FOR YOUR CHILD IS PARAMOUNT.

 

[CourtClerk]

Well, CourtClerk, if you're a public/state employee (especially in CA), you are probably more fortunate (in terms of pay, benefits, tenure, steady pay increases, union bargaining -- all at taxpayer expense, no less) than those of us who work the same number of hours per week you do in private industry for minimum wage.

Perhaps you need to read the paper or my CBA. Your FREE medical benefits cost more than the ones I HAVE TO PAY FOR, we're not tenured (i'm not an educator), my pay comes from having my DEGREES, you know... doing something other than having babies. You want to talk about taxpayer expense? You should see how much of my income goes to taxes. Don't talk to ME about taxpayer expense, your low income behind ISN'T PAYING ANY TAXES. I'm probably STILL paying for you, since as you state, you'd still qualify for public assistance.

Or, maybe, you're just a better person.

Yeah, I'd go for that one too

Or, maybe, God loves your child more.
I don't know, which is it?

Why don't you go ask Him?

Maybe it's that I made the right decisions after I made a wrong one.

 

[msleigh]

It's obvious to me that your purpose here is to feed your own ego by belittling others. I hope your not patting yourself on the back for stating the obvious -- yes, we have already been told by the DCSS that he owes the money. That, there is no question about.

I am looking for a solution from someone who has an understanding of family law, creative in their thought processes, and intelligent enough to see the big picture -- namely, that this is wrong and if it's happening on a large scale to "thousands" of people, then there must be reform.

The law is ever-changing, because *some* people (clearly not you, so don't bother responding) challenge laws that are unjust and look for options other than accepting the sh*t being thrust upon them.

Yes, I am done here. If I need an intelligent, creative solution to our problem, I should have posted this question in a forum frequented by people who are intelligent and creative. My bad.

Adios.

YOU are the one not quite getting it. Your fiance owes the money. He gets to pay.


Good luck getting further help here.

 

[CourtClerk]

The information you want is how to get out of paying this debt.

We can't just snap our fingers and make the Legal Fairy sprinkle sparkly dust all over everything for you.

The Legal Fairy is a public employee and is currently being furloughed. Due to budget constraints, they've had to cut back on fairy dust.

The cash cow is dead. They'd like their money.