Marrying my child's father who owes back child support on our child to our state.

[Proserpina]

It's obvious to me that your purpose here is to feed your own ego by belittling others. I hope your not patting yourself on the back for stating the obvious -- yes, we have already been told by the DCSS that he owes the money. That, there is no question about.

I am looking for a solution from someone who has an understanding of family law, creative in their thought processes, and intelligent enough to see the big picture -- namely, that this is wrong and if it's happening on a large scale to "thousands" of people, then there must be reform.

The law is ever-changing, because *some* people (clearly not you, so don't bother responding) challenge laws that are unjust and look for options other than accepting the sh*t being thrust upon them.

Yes, I am done here. If I need an intelligent, creative solution to our problem, I should have posted this question in a forum frequented by people who are intelligent and creative. My bad.

Adios.

Very simply, you're asking for a loophole to get out of this debt.


You came to a legal forum and have been answered by a group of incredibly intelligent and creative VOLUNTEERS who have families of their own, responsibilities and lives outside of the forum - but STILL offer valuable time and effort trying to help those who genuinely need help.

However when it comes to people trying to get out of their obligations by trying to find loopholes...what do YOU think is going to happen?

Really?

Your fiance owes the debt.
He must pay the debt.

It really IS that simple.

If you want the law to change, write to your congressman/woman.

You're not going to do that here.

 

[CourtClerk]

Very simply, you're asking for a loophole to get out of this debt.


You came to a legal forum and have been answered by a group of incredibly intelligent and creative VOLUNTEERS who have families of their own, responsibilities and lives outside of the forum - but STILL offer valuable time and effort trying to help those who genuinely need help.

However when it comes to people trying to get out of their obligations by trying to find loopholes...what do YOU think is going to happen?

Really?

Your fiance owes the debt.
He must pay the debt.

It really IS that simple.

Of course, she's welcome to pay it for him....

 

[msleigh]

Wow. You are one bitter, hateful person -- why'd you quit the CSSD?

After seeing the hate you spew at total strangers asking for advice, I can only imagine the hell you must have put your "friend" through. No wonder you've been alone for so long.

Ahh, but see. That's where you're wrong. You're not his family, you're his friend. His son is his family.. and yes, I used to work for CSSD.

Now, you've got all this retort, but it's YOU that's asking for someone to help you and your sorry old friend who allowed his child to go on welfare. So perhaps you want to put your attitude back in your pocket and unleash it on your irreponsible boyfriend who did nothing - because at a minimum, if he had gone to court to modify the order, you'd know it, since you seem to know everything else.

Did anyone happen to run the numbers to see that $540/mo on a $1600 income isn't too far off from right? Nope. You see, you have to have an understanding on how CS is calculated, and no one, except for your boyfriend's boss cares how much his rent is or any of the rest of the stuff, PAYING FOR YOUR CHILD IS PARAMOUNT.

 

[Proserpina]

Hate?!

Goodness gracious me. There has been no hate "spewed" here.

Young lady, if you think you've been treated poorly you're free to collect your refund on your way out.

But you may want to pay off that child support debt first.

 

[CourtClerk]

Wow. You are one bitter, hateful person -- why'd you quit the CSSD?

After seeing the hate you spew at total strangers asking for advice, I can only imagine the hell you must have put your "friend" through. No wonder you've been alone for so long.

Alone for so long??? Child who are you trying to fool? You know nothing of my social life, but here's what I do know. Neither one of us are low income. Not individually, not together. So sorry for your loss, but you can't get me like that. You'd have to do MUCH better and it's not in you.

I left CSSD to get a better paying job at the courts. You know, they call that promoting. Doubled my salary. You'd be jealous. Wait, you ARE jealous.

 

[CourtClerk]

Hate?!

Goodness gracious me. There has been no hate "spewed" here.

Young lady, if you think you've been treated poorly you're free to collect your refund on your way out.

But you may want to pay off that child support debt first.

No, we'll apply her refund to the child support debt. Call it an offset.

 

[msleigh]

CourtClerk, Proserpina, Cyjeff, etc:

Several more posts of much of the same...

No references to court cases or links to archived posts to support your claims that there are "thousands" of cases like mine.

I know my case is unique. I don't believe for a second that I'm the only person in the state of CA to challenge the demands of the DCSS. If you're not aware of any cases, why don't you either a) not respond or b) say, "That's a good question, but I don't know."

Why do you seek to pick apart people's personal lives for your own amusement? Is that how you make friends with one another on this board? I provided personal and financial information in order for you to (hopefully) help -- instead, you're all belittling me.

It's okay not to have an answer for every question posted here -- people without ego-issues just ignore them. You should learn to do the same.

 

[cyjeff]

It's obvious to me that your purpose here is to feed your own ego by belittling others. I hope your not patting yourself on the back for stating the obvious -- yes, we have already been told by the DCSS that he owes the money. That, there is no question about.

I am looking for a solution from someone who has an understanding of family law, creative in their thought processes, and intelligent enough to see the big picture -- namely, that this is wrong and if it's happening on a large scale to "thousands" of people, then there must be reform.

The law is ever-changing, because *some* people (clearly not you, so don't bother responding) challenge laws that are unjust and look for options other than accepting the sh*t being thrust upon them.

Yes, I am done here. If I need an intelligent, creative solution to our problem, I should have posted this question in a forum frequented by people who are intelligent and creative. My bad.

Adios.

Wow.

All that and a drama queen, too.

I am so very excited that I got to pay to raise your child.

I don't know why you think it is somehow repressive to insist that you pay to raise your own child.

If you can't afford your child, you should have put him/her up for adoption. Otherwise, suck it up.

The fact that dad figured he never had to pay just means that you picked a guy that thought that his child should be someone else's responsibility.

Unfortunately, that thought seems to be catching.

 

[Proserpina]

CourtClerk, Proserpina, Cyjeff, etc:

Several more posts of much of the same...

No references to court cases or links to archived posts to support your claims that there are "thousands" of cases like mine.

I know my case is unique. I don't believe for a second that I'm the only person in the state of CA to challenge the demands of the DCSS. If you're not aware of any cases, why don't you either a) not respond or b) say, "That's a good question, but I don't know."

Why do you seek to pick apart people's personal lives for your own amusement? Is that how you make friends with one another on this board? I provided personal and financial information in order for you to (hopefully) help -- instead, you're all belittling me.

It's okay not to have an answer for every question posted here -- people without ego-issues just ignore them. You should learn to do the same.

Why DO you think your case is unique?

Seriously. I'd like to know.

On what legal grounds do you believe your fiance (because let's face it, this isn't even your legal matter) can challenge the State?

 

[CourtClerk]

CourtClerk, Proserpina, Cyjeff, etc:

Several more posts of much of the same...

No references to court cases or links to archived posts to support your claims that there are "thousands" of cases like mine.

I know my case is unique. I don't believe for a second that I'm the only person in the state of CA to challenge the demands of the DCSS. If you're not aware of any cases, why don't you either a) not respond or b) say, "That's a good question, but I don't know."

Why do you seek to pick apart people's personal lives for your own amusement? Is that how you make friends with one another on this board? I provided personal and financial information in order for you to (hopefully) help -- instead, you're all belittling me.

It's okay not to have an answer for every question posted here -- people without ego-issues just ignore them. You should learn to do the same.

I thought you were leaving and not coming back?

Here's what you do. Find whatever courthouse CSSD uses to litigate their cases in your county and go through the court files. Then you'll find just how many people are going through the exact same thing you are. There are people all day long that challenge CSSD. Shoot, I listen to them 3 out of my 5 work days per week.

 

[cyjeff]

CourtClerk, Proserpina, Cyjeff, etc:

Several more posts of much of the same...

No references to court cases or links to archived posts to support your claims that there are "thousands" of cases like mine.

I know my case is unique. I don't believe for a second that I'm the only person in the state of CA to challenge the demands of the DCSS. If you're not aware of any cases, why don't you either a) not respond or b) say, "That's a good question, but I don't know."

Why do you seek to pick apart people's personal lives for your own amusement? Is that how you make friends with one another on this board? I provided personal and financial information in order for you to (hopefully) help -- instead, you're all belittling me.

It's okay not to have an answer for every question posted here -- people without ego-issues just ignore them. You should learn to do the same.

Okay princess... here is the reality.

The father of the child owes money.... and did for several years.

You have always avoided the question of how much he DID pay per month... which means he thought that, somehow, the state would just pay for his child.

It doesn't work like that.

Sucks that it means that now he is paying to support his child AND paying arrears... but that was HIS choice... and it not the problem of anyone else.

You can try to go back and tell them your story. Maybe you will talk to a person that ISN'T on the layoff bubble and will give him another payment stream...

Wouldn't count on that though... because dad has already proven himself to be unreliable. It falls back to that whole "I didn't pay it because I thought it was too much" thing.

The other question you never quite answered was the amount of money you got from the state monthly.

 

[CourtClerk]

The other question you never quite answered was the amount of money you got from the state monthly.

Let's give this a rough guesstimate:

Cash benefits per month: Roughly $600 if she wasn't working at all
Value of free medical care for herself and her child with zero copays: $1500/mo
Food: Roughly $300/mo.


That alone is about $2400 in FREE benefits. I'm sure she milked the WIC cash cow, but we won't put that in the equation.

 

[Just Blue]

Please...Go and PAY an attorney to advise your boyfriend.

 

[mistoffolees]

Please...Go and PAY an attorney to advise your boyfriend.

OR, tell him to pay off the debt.

 

[nextwife]

He is paying for his family (my son and I) to live -- if that doesn't count for anything in your eyes, perhaps you should apply for a job at DCSS.

YOU should be paying for YOU to live. AS an adult,, and a parent, that is your responsibility.

You also should be paying your share of support for your child. If there is a joint debt for CS because of benefits you collected, then help him repay what you used.