Please! I need info about my visitation rights

[stealth2]

Re: Re: Thanks for making me feel worse asswhole.

WTF was that about?

Oh good - it was aimed at me and not skyy. Had me worried there for a moment. The thing is - the way you see it may not be the way a judge sees it. And that's the person you have to win over. Moving thousands of miles away isn't going to score you points with the judge - I'm sorry, that's just the way it is.

It is much, much more difficult to be an active participant in your child's life when you're not close by. No matter what - you lose huge chunks of their lives. It's hard when you and the custodial parent are on good terms - when you're not (like you and your ex) - it's nearly impossible.

Your daughter may or may not choose to live with you later in her life. If he stays in GA (hope he does) - she actually does get to make that choice. If he doesn't - and changes jurisdiction - she doesn't get to choose. A judge does. The time to build your case is now - not when she decides she wants to move. If you walk into the courtroom asking for custody and are years worth in arrears - the judge is likely to laugh you out of court.

Did my post make you feel bad? Yeah, it probably did. But you know - you didn't ask for responses that will make you feel warm and fuzzy, but for ones that might help you. And if YOU feel bad - how do you think your little girl feels?

 

[Peaches24]

Exactly what it says

WTF was that about?

 

[skyy]

By the way...

I know you're hurting, but momma_tiger isn't one of those people who goes out or her way to cause pain and piss people off. As you can tell from her # count, she's been around a while. That means she has some insight to what goes on in custody cases.

Not only that, but she has also elaborated on some previous posts so the next person reading wouldn't misinterpret something someone wrote and get into any legal trouble. She often asks the lawyers to clarify topics and expand on something the poster may have missed altogether.

Many times, she merely points out what a judge/court may think in the back of his/her mind. Things that are said here are meant to help you prepare for things that can/will come out in your case...but they'll probably sting more! If you weren't physically picked up/kidnapped, then you did choose to move regardless of the reasons. Basically, you take things with a grain of sand and arm yourself with answers if the topic comes up. Instead of getting defensive, think of the positive reason for the action and concentrate on that. That's how you learn to make things work for you.

Good luck!

 

[Peaches24]

I know how she feels, the same way I feel.

Why does it seem like you are taking his side. He is the one that is wrong. I gave bith to that little girl and he didn't. I know that's alot more than her father. Having your precious angel growing inside of you and then giving her life, and taking care of her by myself for the first year of her life,wanting to be her mother, her guidance, protection, and loving her everyday of her life. A mother and her child have a special bond that know one can ever take away and that's way bigger than her dad's role in her life. I know that he loves her, but I also know that he will never understand or love her as much as I do.He wants me back and I stopped loving him a long time ago. Now I have nothing but hatred for him. He is trying to make me hurt forever by keeping her out of my life, but he is hurting her as well and he don't even care.It hurst me even more than she longs for me like I long for her,that she misses me like I miss her and that she loves me as much as I love her.That brings me even more heartache than the pain I already feel from needing her.
He does drugs by the way. I went to pick her up when I was in GA visiting and he told me himself that he did cocain. I asked was our daughter there and he said yes. I do not do drugs, because thats not at all the way I want to live,also why shorten the time you have on earth. But I will bring that up in court when I go.I have alot against him and he will pay for this. It's just a matter of time..

Oh good - it was aimed at me and not skyy. Had me worried there for a moment. The thing is - the way you see it may not be the way a judge sees it. And that's the person you have to win over. Moving thousands of miles away isn't going to score you points with the judge - I'm sorry, that's just the way it is.

It is much, much more difficult to be an active participant in your child's life when you're not close by. No matter what - you lose huge chunks of their lives. It's hard when you and the custodial parent are on good terms - when you're not (like you and your ex) - it's nearly impossible.

Your daughter may or may not choose to live with you later in her life. If he stays in GA (hope he does) - she actually does get to make that choice. If he doesn't - and changes jurisdiction - she doesn't get to choose. A judge does. The time to build your case is now - not when she decides she wants to move. If you walk into the courtroom asking for custody and are years worth in arrears - the judge is likely to laugh you out of court.

Did my post make you feel bad? Yeah, it probably did. But you know - you didn't ask for responses that will make you feel warm and fuzzy, but for ones that might help you. And if YOU feel bad - how do you think your little girl feels?

 

[stealth2]

Re: I know how she feels, the same way I feel.

Why does it seem like you are taking his side. He is the one that is wrong. I gave bith to that little girl and he didn't. I know that's alot more than her father. Having your precious angel growing inside of you and then giving her life, and taking care of her by myself for the first year of her life,wanting to be her mother, her guidance, protection, and loving her everyday of her life. A mother and her child have a special bond that know one can ever take away and that's way bigger than her dad's role in her life. I know that he loves her, but I also know that he will never understand or love her as much as I do.He wants me back and I stopped loving him a long time ago. Now I have nothing but hatred for him. He is trying to make me hurt forever by keeping her out of my life, but he is hurting her as well and he don't even care.It hurst me even more than she longs for me like I long for her,that she misses me like I miss her and that she loves me as much as I love her.That brings me even more heartache than the pain I already feel from needing her.
He does drugs by the way. I went to pick her up when I was in GA visiting and he told me himself that he did cocain. I asked was our daughter there and he said yes. I do not do drugs, because thats not at all the way I want to live,also why shorten the time you have on earth. But I will bring that up in court when I go.I have alot against him and he will pay for this. It's just a matter of time..

I'm not taking his side. But would you rather I asked you those tough questions and pissed you off - or that a judge did, and you got pissed and didn't know how to answer w/o going off?

Unfortunately, legally you and her father are equal. You are both the child's parents. That you carried her for 9 months is meaningless in the eyes of the law.

As for his drug use - you have to prove it. Not just say "he told me". You need proof or it doesn't mean a damned thing in court.

I'll let you decide - you wanna get pissed at me and other posters, and have a chance at building a case to get your daughter into your life? Or do you want to get warm fuzzies and cast your lot to the wind?

 

[Peaches24]

Re: Re: I know how she feels, the same way I feel.

So what are you saying? Are you telling me I don't have a leg to stand on because i live in California now and not GA? I'm going to do whatever it takes to get her except move back to Ga, I hate it there.I wish that I wasn't even born there. I wish he wasn't her father. To me he was just a sperm donor.

I'm not taking his side. But would you rather I asked you those tough questions and pissed you off - or that a judge did, and you got pissed and didn't know how to answer w/o going off?

Unfortunately, legally you and her father are equal. You are both the child's parents. That you carried her for 9 months is meaningless in the eyes of the law.

As for his drug use - you have to prove it. Not just say "he told me". You need proof or it doesn't mean a damned thing in court.

I'll let you decide - you wanna get pissed at me and other posters, and have a chance at building a case to get your daughter into your life? Or do you want to get warm fuzzies and cast your lot to the wind?

 

[Whyte Noise]

Re: Re: Re: I know how she feels, the same way I feel.

So what are you saying? Are you telling me I don't have a leg to stand on because i live in California now and not GA? I'm going to do whatever it takes to get her except move back to Ga, I hate it there.I wish that I wasn't even born there. I wish he wasn't her father. To me he was just a sperm donor.

Peaches, you may feel like that, and you may even be justified in feeling like that. But if you walk into a Georgia court and say those same things to a judge, you will have just hung yourself and ruined any chance you ever had in getting custody of your daughter.

For you to change custody, you have to prove a change in circumstances in Georgia. I know. I was born and raised there, and just moved out of the state myself a year ago. And I'm 36. What I'm telling you is based on Ga. laws, OK?

Change in circumstance... you have to prove WHY her living with you would be better than where she is now. Plain and simple. Nothing else matters really. You have to prove how you are so much better for your child than her father. But you have to do this without degrading the father. You walk in there with the "He was just a sperm donor" comment, and you're gonna lose. What's different now, than when he got custody? What changes have taken place since then? This is what the court looks at.

You say he uses drugs. You'll have to prove that. Cold hard facts. That's all the court is interested in. Not what you think could happen, not what he's "told" you, not what your daughter has "told" you... what you have PROOF of. Any drug arrests? Convictions? Failed urinalysis? Probabtion revokations?

How old is your daughter? In Georgia, at the age of 11, a child can make their wishes known to a judge as to where they want to live. That's all they can do though at that age. Tell the judge what they want. The judge still decides what's in the "child's best interest". At the age of 14, a child can tell a judge where they want to live, and the child's decision is the controlling factor unless the preferred parent is proven unfit.

Now, above proving to a judge that it's in your child's best interest to live with you and not the father, you have to also prove that you are the parent more willing to facilitate a relationship with the other parent. The father is denying you visitation, he's showing that he's not willing to facilitate that relationship with you. You have to have a parenting plan that shows you will give the father meaninful and frequent contact with the child. This is where your sperm donor comment will get you into trouble. You go in with that, and a judge will say that you don't want to give the child meaningful contact either because of your personal feelings towards her father. It won't fly.

No one is telling you that you don't have a chance in hell to get your child. No one on here has a crystal ball that they gaze into to find the answers to all of life's questions. But, we've been through it enough to give you general statements and advice based on our knowledge. Momma_tiger's reference to you moving out of state is the same thing a judge would sit on a bench and ask you. Would you reply to a judge the same way you did to her? Would you tell that sitting judge "Thanks for making me feel worse a$$hole"??? I think not. But, these are questions that a judge WILL ask you, and questions you'd better have answers for. Not only answers, but the RIGHT answers. The answers that will show it's in your child's best interest to live with you and not her father.

 

[Peaches24]

Re: Re: Re: Re: I know how she feels, the same way I feel.

I know all of this. I have to entirely to a T build my case to return to court. I would never tell the judge that he is just a sperm donor to me, I'll just tell my ex that because that's the way i feel towards him. But I will abide by the court and the judges rules and regulations when that time comes. I will not show any hatred towards her father although I deeply feel that way. Iwon't keep her from her father because she loves him and he is her father even though she doesn't know what he's really like. He will always be her father no matter what. I will tell the judge things about him that will help my case though.
Thanks for replying

Peaches, you may feel like that, and you may even be justified in feeling like that. But if you walk into a Georgia court and say those same things to a judge, you will have just hung yourself and ruined any chance you ever had in getting custody of your daughter.

For you to change custody, you have to prove a change in circumstances in Georgia. I know. I was born and raised there, and just moved out of the state myself a year ago. And I'm 36. What I'm telling you is based on Ga. laws, OK?

Change in circumstance... you have to prove WHY her living with you would be better than where she is now. Plain and simple. Nothing else matters really. You have to prove how you are so much better for your child than her father. But you have to do this without degrading the father. You walk in there with the "He was just a sperm donor" comment, and you're gonna lose. What's different now, than when he got custody? What changes have taken place since then? This is what the court looks at.

You say he uses drugs. You'll have to prove that. Cold hard facts. That's all the court is interested in. Not what you think could happen, not what he's "told" you, not what your daughter has "told" you... what you have PROOF of. Any drug arrests? Convictions? Failed urinalysis? Probabtion revokations?

How old is your daughter? In Georgia, at the age of 11, a child can make their wishes known to a judge as to where they want to live. That's all they can do though at that age. Tell the judge what they want. The judge still decides what's in the "child's best interest". At the age of 14, a child can tell a judge where they want to live, and the child's decision is the controlling factor unless the preferred parent is proven unfit.

Now, above proving to a judge that it's in your child's best interest to live with you and not the father, you have to also prove that you are the parent more willing to facilitate a relationship with the other parent. The father is denying you visitation, he's showing that he's not willing to facilitate that relationship with you. You have to have a parenting plan that shows you will give the father meaninful and frequent contact with the child. This is where your sperm donor comment will get you into trouble. You go in with that, and a judge will say that you don't want to give the child meaningful contact either because of your personal feelings towards her father. It won't fly.

No one is telling you that you don't have a chance in hell to get your child. No one on here has a crystal ball that they gaze into to find the answers to all of life's questions. But, we've been through it enough to give you general statements and advice based on our knowledge. Momma_tiger's reference to you moving out of state is the same thing a judge would sit on a bench and ask you. Would you reply to a judge the same way you did to her? Would you tell that sitting judge "Thanks for making me feel worse a$$hole"??? I think not. But, these are questions that a judge WILL ask you, and questions you'd better have answers for. Not only answers, but the RIGHT answers. The answers that will show it's in your child's best interest to live with you and not her father.

 

[stealth2]

And if you "just" say that to her father, do you think he's not going to make sure he brings it up to the judge? Or push you enough in court to make you lose your temper so you say something like that?

Never mind, you've made it clear that you're going to do it your way and are only looking for validation. Good luck to you.

 

[haiku]

I was gonna come in and say the same thing mommatiger, like not only can dad keep a log, but most judges know bull@#$% when they see it, not to mention the kids impressions, but some people just have to live and learn....

 

[sbaldwin]

I wish he wasn't her father. To me he was just a sperm donor.

How very sad for your child!

 

[Boxcarbill]

Re: Re: Re: I know how she feels, the same way I feel.

So what are you saying? Are you telling me I don't have a leg to stand on because i live in California now and not GA? I'm going to do whatever it takes to get her except move back to Ga, I hate it there.I wish that I wasn't even born there. I wish he wasn't her father. To me he was just a sperm donor.

Well, sweetheart, I'm a lawyer and I can tell you that unless you do a very significant attitude change, you are not going to fare worth a damn in court. You are the opposing attorney's dream. Just wind you up and turn you loose. You will win the case for your ex.

 

[VeronicaGia]

You haven't paid support, he is denying visitation.

The minute you file contempt charges for his not allowing visitation, he will counter file contempt charges for you not paying support. And vice versa, if he files first, you will file second.

When you were moving to CA ,did you ever stop to think about what would happen to your child in GA? I know, it was true love that made you move. No true love made you stay.

Anyway, you will file contempt charges in the required GA court, and he will counter. You may go to jail for non-payment of support, depending on GA's laws, but if you want your visitation, that's the chance you'll have to take.

 

[VeronicaGia]

"The child passed through my birth canal, therefore, I own the child."

"A mother has a bond with a child a father could never come close to."

"I hate the father, he is nothing more than a sperm donor."

Yes, go to court with that attitude. BTW, that "sperm donor" is taking care of that child physically, financially, emotionally, mentally, and every other way possible. Lucky for the child he doesn't consider himself nothing more than a sperm donor, because the child would have starved by now.

 

[Peaches24]

Duh

I'm not stupid,I would never go to court and say those things.That's just the way I feel deep in my heart and if it were not for him I would have my daughter.I don't think you should be on this Post because you do nothing but try to bring people down.Why don't you find something else to do on the computer because your comments suck, lady.I will take my attorney's advice not yours. You and what you say mean nothing to me.You're probably just some bitter person at the world.Are you this cold to every mother that doesn't have her child? Do you think it does not matter that my daughter is in a bad invironment,with drugs around and other things that are bad.Give me some credit,I love her and I care very much what kind of invironment she's in..She will be much better off with me ,her mommy.I know I will have to prove that in court and I will, that's not a problem. He's gonna wish he never met me, when I get finished with him. He's the one that should be prepared for battle. I'm sure you will have something else negative to say, don't even bother because I don't want or need your advice.

"The child passed through my birth canal, therefore, I own the child."

"A mother has a bond with a child a father could never come close to."

"I hate the father, he is nothing more than a sperm donor."

Yes, go to court with that attitude. BTW, that "sperm donor" is taking care of that child physically, financially, emotionally, mentally, and every other way possible. Lucky for the child he doesn't consider himself nothing more than a sperm donor, because the child would have starved by now.