What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California
I'm the stepmom. And I consider myself to be a "seasoned" stepmom having raised a stepdaughter from a previous marriage. I divorced and remarried and have 2 more stepchildren, a stepson 15, and a stepdaughter 12. My husband has visitation with his children every other weekend; ex wife is the primary parent. As a stepparent, I get along great with my stepchildren. However, my husband hates his ex wife and his ex wife is spiteful and mean-spirited; it's a vicious circle which enables my stepchildren to lie and manipulate both parents for their personal gain. As of late though, it seems to be happening more frequently; the children are pitting their parents against each other and, of course, the ex wife believes everything they say. Because of that; and that the ex wife changed her cell phone # and is withholding it from my husband and calling him from their children's phones instead - I am not comfortable caring for my stepchildren while my husband is out of town on business. Ex wife is scorned because she believes I'm the "cause of their family break-up" and there is a current restraining order against both me and her! I can only contact her in case of emergency, which is totally fine by me. She says I became "babysitter" the day my husband married me. If that's the case, I should be able to have every possible contact number for her as any babysitter would expect, to be used as a last resort, right? Additionally, I still have 2 male adult children living in the home who she does not want my stepchildren to be alone with. As I type this, I'm thinking, "wow, someone's going to wonder why the mother feels the way she does" and I can't help but feel that this puts me and my adult children in a bad light, but I assure everyone, this is nothing short of mean-spiritedness by the ex wife and the attempts of a scorned woman to make life difficult for my husband and to make him pay for divorcing her. Lastly, I can't help but remember that while married to her, the ex wife felt it was inappropriate for my husband to launder his daughter's under garments. That was instilled into the ex wife as a child by her mother. So, all of this together, the deception, the lies, the potential for lies, makes me now afraid of caring for my stepkids when my husband is not home for his visitation. Does anyone have any experience with this? What can I do? What should I do?
I'm the stepmom. And I consider myself to be a "seasoned" stepmom having raised a stepdaughter from a previous marriage. I divorced and remarried and have 2 more stepchildren, a stepson 15, and a stepdaughter 12. My husband has visitation with his children every other weekend; ex wife is the primary parent. As a stepparent, I get along great with my stepchildren. However, my husband hates his ex wife and his ex wife is spiteful and mean-spirited; it's a vicious circle which enables my stepchildren to lie and manipulate both parents for their personal gain. As of late though, it seems to be happening more frequently; the children are pitting their parents against each other and, of course, the ex wife believes everything they say. Because of that; and that the ex wife changed her cell phone # and is withholding it from my husband and calling him from their children's phones instead - I am not comfortable caring for my stepchildren while my husband is out of town on business. Ex wife is scorned because she believes I'm the "cause of their family break-up" and there is a current restraining order against both me and her! I can only contact her in case of emergency, which is totally fine by me. She says I became "babysitter" the day my husband married me. If that's the case, I should be able to have every possible contact number for her as any babysitter would expect, to be used as a last resort, right? Additionally, I still have 2 male adult children living in the home who she does not want my stepchildren to be alone with. As I type this, I'm thinking, "wow, someone's going to wonder why the mother feels the way she does" and I can't help but feel that this puts me and my adult children in a bad light, but I assure everyone, this is nothing short of mean-spiritedness by the ex wife and the attempts of a scorned woman to make life difficult for my husband and to make him pay for divorcing her. Lastly, I can't help but remember that while married to her, the ex wife felt it was inappropriate for my husband to launder his daughter's under garments. That was instilled into the ex wife as a child by her mother. So, all of this together, the deception, the lies, the potential for lies, makes me now afraid of caring for my stepkids when my husband is not home for his visitation. Does anyone have any experience with this? What can I do? What should I do?