What is primary residential custody

[Mitzie1217]

I really don't think she understands. And I hope she finds someone to fill out the proper forms for her because her spelling is awful. Sorry, but it is...

ok that right there is saying I am not smart enough to fill out my own forms that someone should do it for me.And all I am trying to figure out is how I am being made out to be the bad one here.I did what I thought what was best for my kids.It might not have done what I should have done legally but I was only thinking of what was best for my kids and that in no way makes me out to be a little girl.Maybe I didn't think things out fully and that was my mistake but from my point of view he didn't want to see the kids and to be honest he is an unfit father.

 

[Mitzie1217]

But anyway thank you for the insults and the advice hope I entertained you enough for one night but this "LITTLE GIRL"has to clean up her toys before her mommy yells at her

 

[Melanie80]

stupid?

If I wanted to call you stupid, I would have. I simply suggested you receive some help when filling out the forms. I do think you need help with your spelling, but that doesn't mean you are stupid. Maybe an english class?

 

[penelope10]

Obviously there are several issues that are going on right now. You ex was given supervised visitation by the courts previously and it sounds like with good reason.

Whether you spell well or not really isn't the issue. I believe you said that you have a court date regarding the visitation that is not far off. So what you need to do right now is to get legal help and quickly.

With the the facts given at the beginning of your post I would think that getting professional legal help would be in your best interest. I and several others have steered you in the direction you need to go.

I understand that you are frustrated, but going over the same facts over and over in this forum really isn't of much use to you and your children.

 

[CJane]

Can I just point out that if court is on April 1, Mom was served long enough ago that this is not NEW information for her. And she has a specific period of time in which to answer the motion. My money is on the fact that the motion was NOT answered... which already puts mom at a disadvantage. Add that to the fact that she DID move w/out notification, and she DID stop taking the kids to visits, and it gets worse.

Mom, what you NEED to do is

1) find an attorney to help you. You are not capable of doing this on your own. Not because you're stupid, but because you lack the communication skills required to get your point across coherently.

2) concentrate on whether or not there has been a change in circumstances since the time of the last order. Not even a change w/dad... a change w/YOU or the kids. We know you moved. How far from where you were? Did it make Dad's ordered visitation easier or more difficult? How are the kids doing in school? Are you providing for them adequately? Are you remarried/living with someone?

3) I'm going to assume Dad's conviction was prior to the last order, and that's why the visits are supervised. Make sure the judge is aware of that situation.

4) Understand what he's asking for. If all he wants is joint-LEGAL custody, that's just joint decision-making about things like major health care, school, etc. Unsupervised visits are unlikely if he's not exercising his supervised visits... UNLESS he can prove he didn't exercise them because of YOU.

5) FOCUS. No one here is bashing you. But YOU have to understand that YOU will be held accountable for your actions. And HE will be held accountable for HIS. And the JUDGE is bound by FACT and LAW, not WISHES.

 

[Mitzie1217]

I only moved 2 blocks away from where I lived and I only recieved the court papers 2 days ago.I seen him maybe a week and a half ago and he told me he knew where I lived I asked him how and he gave no answer.So according to him he knew where I was all along.I am getting an attorney I have to go Monday but tomorrow I am goin to the court to file for sole custody and child supportdo you think I can get sole custody?

 

[CJane]

I only moved 2 blocks away from where I lived and I only recieved the court papers 2 days ago.I seen him maybe a week and a half ago and he told me he knew where I lived I asked him how and he gave no answer.So according to him he knew where I was all along.I am getting an attorney I have to go Monday but tomorrow I am goin to the court to file for sole custody and child supportdo you think I can get sole custody?

You can't just 'go file' now that there's an active case. You have to ANSWER his motion and do a COUNTER Motion. This is why you NEED an attorney. These things are important, and have to be done properly, in the right order, and using the correct language.

I have no idea if you can get sole custody.... I have no idea what judges in your area tend to do. I can tell you that as far as I know, NJ has a presumption of joint-custody. Unless you can prove that joint-custody would be harmful to the kids, he's going to get it. You might be able to prove it would be harmful, but you certainly can't do that on your own. And especially not filing for it improperly.

Is the time you saw him 10 days ago the first time you've seen him since you stopped taking the kids to his mother's?

 

[Melanie80]

supervised

Who does the supervised visitations, a center? If the visitations are supervised there should be visitation reports. If it is through a supervision center the reports get sent directly to the judge, and the reports will comment on the times dad has either been late or skipped altogether, and the visitations themselves. For example, what they do and how the child reacts to dad. In my experience, judges look at proof, not just on what mom says.

 

[Mitzie1217]

yes that was the first time I have seen him according to his mother he was in jail for a while.

 

[CJane]

Who does the supervised visitations, a center? If the visitations are supervised there should be visitation reports. If it is through a supervision center the reports get sent directly to the judge, and the reports will comment on the times dad has either been late or skipped altogether, and the visitations themselves. For example, what they do and how the child reacts to dad. In my experience, judges look at proof, not just on what mom says.

The paternal grandmother is the supervisor.

 

[Melanie80]

Did dad and mom both stipulate to the grandmother?
Also, did she keep records of the visitations and the days she missed?
My suggestion would be, when you go to court, suggest supervised with a center (neutral
3rd party), don't worry dad would have to pay for it more often than not, and an evaluation on dad. Depending on the outcome of the eval the evaluator will recommend to the court on what is the best interest of the child. The evaluator will look at all previous records, as well as speaking with the child and the grandmother.
You will need a lawyer to do this.