Child Support Question

[stephgts]

The $150 a month goes to my parents to pay them back for half of her upkeep monthly. I don't touch it. Her medical insurance is $200 a month and $100 a month is roughly spent on diapers and such. $150 is half. I haven't filed for help from the government because I'm going to school and plan on being able to take care of her, with the help of her father, like a responsible adult. Her father DID sign the voluntary paternity because he knows he's the father. I flat out offered to do a paternity test if he thought otherwise and would still submit to one if he asked. Whether a court cares or NOT, I am taking care of my daughter by being a stay at home parent for the next few months. I also sit for my brothers son four days a week, which I'm paid for but doesn't go on "paper". On top of that I cook for my parents. Staying home with my daughter was NOT NOT NOT my idea. It was my PARENTS idea because they believe in having a parent present at all times in the beginning months of life and are well aware that if I was working AND attending school, they would be stuck with child care or the fathers parents would as NONE of us, including the father or his parents, are comfortable putting her in daycare at such a young age. Even the local churches daycare.

So, you know, go ahead and make whatever assumptions you like. The way I am handling childcare was agreed upon by EVERYONE involved and as much as her dad annoys the crap out of me, I still let him see her whenever he wants to because having two parents is more important then anything.

 

[CJane]

You didn't get a thing I said, did you?

If you wait until you're 'ready' to move out and be on your own to file for CS, you'd better plan on it being AT LEAST 6 months before you ever see a dime... if then.

The courts will NOT make dad pay until he's SEVERAL THOUSAND dollars behind, and even then, don't count on receiving money if he's determined not to pay.

Dad would be a complete idiot to pay anything at all right now, and no one here is going to blame him for protecting himself by not paying.

Whether he's biologically the father or not, you can expect him to request a DNA test as soon as you file for CS - not because he doubts his paternity, but because it's the easiest way ever to drag out the orders.

 

[Ohiogal]

The $150 a month goes to my parents to pay them back for half of her upkeep monthly. I don't touch it. Her medical insurance is $200 a month and $100 a month is roughly spent on diapers and such. $150 is half.

And quite frankly how are you supporting your half? And who says dad's portion would be half? Because that is NOT how child support is figured. You do not get to add up what you spend on daughter and then bill dad for half the expenses.


I haven't filed for help from the government because I'm going to school and plan on being able to take care of her, with the help of her father, like a responsible adult.

You plan on being able to take care of her BUT you can't do it now. You really can't. You are living by the grace of others actually and aren't contributing to raising your daughter at this juncture.

Her father DID sign the voluntary paternity because he knows he's the father. I flat out offered to do a paternity test if he thought otherwise and would still submit to one if he asked. Whether a court cares or NOT, I am taking care of my daughter by being a stay at home parent for the next few months.


Nope the court DOES NOT care because both parents are required to FINANCIALLY support the child.


I also sit for my brothers son four days a week, which I'm paid for but doesn't go on "paper".

Otherwise known as working illegally under the table. Nice. And you were griping about him not claiming his tips? Pot meet kettle. Hypocrite at all?


On top of that I cook for my parents.

big deal. I cook for my husband and the rest of my household.

Staying home with my daughter was NOT NOT NOT my idea.

Then don't. GET A JOB!


It was my PARENTS idea because they believe in having a parent present at all times in the beginning months of life and are well aware that if I was working AND attending school, they would be stuck with child care or the fathers parents would as NONE of us, including the father or his parents, are comfortable putting her in daycare at such a young age. Even the local churches daycare.


And that is YOUR issue. The fact that you still listen to mommy and daddy and cry and whine about it is ridiculous. HOW OLD ARE YOU?

So, you know, go ahead and make whatever assumptions you like. The way I am handling childcare was agreed upon by EVERYONE involved and as much as her dad annoys the crap out of me, I still let him see her whenever he wants to because having two parents is more important then anything.

How generous you are. Actually I do believe you really need to grow up. You are NOT supporting your child but expect everyone else too. How sweet.

 

[stephgts]

You didn't get a thing I said, did you?

If you wait until you're 'ready' to move out and be on your own to file for CS, you'd better plan on it being AT LEAST 6 months before you ever see a dime... if then.

The courts will NOT make dad pay until he's SEVERAL THOUSAND dollars behind, and even then, don't count on receiving money if he's determined not to pay.

Dad would be a complete idiot to pay anything at all right now, and no one here is going to blame him for protecting himself by not paying.

Whether he's biologically the father or not, you can expect him to request a DNA test as soon as you file for CS - not because he doubts his paternity, but because it's the easiest way ever to drag out the orders.

No no, I did get what you said which was probably the most helpful so far. That reply wasn't for you but for all the other people bashing me on here.

 

[Ohiogal]

https://forum.freeadvice.com/search.php?searchid=1346632

OPs history is interesting. She states that she is on antidepressants and has never caused bodily harm yet in her first post she states how she hit her boyfriend a few times because it was HIS fault. She is back and forth on various things and still doesn't seem to get it. And I really wonder how she and boyfriend started in NY but they are both now in FL.

 

[stephgts]

How generous you are. Actually I do believe you really need to grow up. You are NOT supporting your child but expect everyone else too. How sweet.

So you mean to tell me that if you had the option to stay at home with your child while you finsihed school...you would not take it? So pawning your kid off on relatives or paying out the butt for childcare, with people you DON'T know, would be your choice? Rather then be with your own kid and go to school? Going to school to better educate myself so I can actually support her without government aid? Sure, I could go get a job as a waitress because at the moment I have no other skills. I could be a waitress for the REST of my life I suppose, with no retirement money in the bank, with no money saved for her college education, with no medical insurance for myself or my daughter. Of course, I could go to school and work, but then I wouldn't be able to afford childcare for my daughter as she would very nearly need 24/7 care because I would be busy all the time.

I'm working with what I have and am very thankful to my parents for helping. Why on EARTH would I take the HARDER route when it doesn't give me as good of results as staying with my parents and finishing school? This way I get to be with my daughter and when I'm through with school, her future is secure. A LOOOOOOOOOOT more secure then if I went to work as a waitress! You don't think that's responsible? I am looking at the long term here and if I decided to not take my parents up on their offer, that would just be completely and UTTERLY STUPID.

 

[stephgts]

https://forum.freeadvice.com/search.php?searchid=1346632

OPs history is interesting. She states that she is on antidepressants and has never caused bodily harm yet in her first post she states how she hit her boyfriend a few times because it was HIS fault. She is back and forth on various things and still doesn't seem to get it. And I really wonder how she and boyfriend started in NY but they are both now in FL.

Um, I punched him in the arm because I was pregnant, trying to take a bath and he was standing over me screaming at me. I'd told him repeatedly to leave and he would not. Cause him bodily harm? No I did not. He's 6'2, I'm 5'3 and was standing in about 6 inches of water in a slippery bath tub. I am on anti depressents, which OMG tons of people are on them. Big whoop. You know what that means? I'm not depressed anymore

As for starting out in NY, I've been to NY once in my life for an over night stay to pick up a car. We never started out in NY, always been here in FL. I didn't even know him when I went to NY to get the car.

 

[stephgts]

https://forum.freeadvice.com/search.php?searchid=1346632

And I really wonder how she and boyfriend started in NY but they are both now in FL.

I just went back and read the very first post I ever wrote on here. It says FL, can ya read?

 

[nextwife]

So you mean to tell me that if you had the option to stay at home with your child while you finsihed school...you would not take it? So pawning your kid off on relatives or paying out the butt for childcare, with people you DON'T know, would be your choice? Rather then be with your own kid and go to school? Going to school to better educate myself so I can actually support her without government aid? Sure, I could go get a job as a waitress because at the moment I have no other skills. I could be a waitress for the REST of my life I suppose, with no retirement money in the bank, with no money saved for her college education, with no medical insurance for myself or my daughter. Of course, I could go to school and work, but then I wouldn't be able to afford childcare for my daughter as she would very nearly need 24/7 care because I would be busy all the time.

I'm working with what I have and am very thankful to my parents for helping. Why on EARTH would I take the HARDER route when it doesn't give me as good of results as staying with my parents and finishing school? This way I get to be with my daughter and when I'm through with school, her future is secure. A LOOOOOOOOOOT more secure then if I went to work as a waitress! You don't think that's responsible? I am looking at the long term here and if I decided to not take my parents up on their offer, that would just be completely and UTTERLY STUPID.

Going to and finishing school, and learning to be self sufficient and live on one's own, is what one should do BEFORE they go ahead and start making baby's. Saving up, preparing a household, being ready for one's child well in advance, is the more responsible thing to do.

 

[stephgts]

Going to and finishing school, and learning to be self sufficient and live on one's own, is what one ishould do BEFORE they go ahead and start making baby's. Saving up, preparing a household, being ready for one's child well in advance, is the more responsible thing to do.

I completely agree with you. However, accidents do happen and so now I'm trying to make the best of it. I'm not saying that I've made all the right choices in life, because I haven't. I'm human. All I'm trying to do here is point out that I'm not a lazy good for nothing just because I've elected to stay at my parents and finish school. Which, granted, should have been done before I had my daughter, but it wasn't. I've made mistakes in my life that I'm happily paying for because they gave me my daughter. Now I want to make sure that I do everything I can for her, which does mean finishing school and doesn't mean taking any job I can get just so I can support her when my parents want to help out. Honestly, COMPLETELY honestly, they were worried that I wouldn't take to being a mom and that I would pawn her off on them. Truthfully, I didn't even know how I would be. It was a whole new learning experience for me, but I did take well to it and thoroughly enjoy it.

 

[CJane]

Going to and finishing school, and learning to be self sufficient and live on one's own, is what one should do BEFORE they go ahead and start making baby's. Saving up, preparing a household, being ready for one's child well in advance, is the more responsible thing to do.

And while that's the ideal, we all know that not everyone does that and sometimes people get pregnant even though they're taking precautions.

OP is probably taking the best route by taking her parents up on their offer of support while she finishes school, she's not on state assitance as a whole lot of young single moms are, and she's trying to educate herself about the process before diving in. Those are all good things.

Where I think OP is screwing up is in putting off getting court orders. I wish the Contrary One would make a sticky thread telling everyone that putting off getting actual orders is never ever going to be in the child's best interest and is only going to make the process harder and more expensive later.

 

[stephgts]

And while that's the ideal, we all know that not everyone does that and sometimes people get pregnant even though they're taking precautions.

OP is probably taking the best route by taking her parents up on their offer of support while she finishes school, she's not on state assitance as a whole lot of young single moms are, and she's trying to educate herself about the process before diving in. Those are all good things.


Where I think OP is screwing up is in putting off getting court orders. I wish the Contrary One would make a sticky thread telling everyone that putting off getting actual orders is never ever going to be in the child's best interest and is only going to make the process harder and more expensive later.

Thank you thank you thank you!!

 

[haiku]

I think what you are missing here, is no one in the court system is going to applaud you or pat you on the back for choosing to stay home with your kid.

they are not going to care one bit, and depending on how your state does child support, will impute at least a minimum wage income on you to set the child support for your ex.

they are not going to make your ex pay more, or do more, or even go out of thier way to "prove" he works under the table because you choose to stay home.

They are going to base the child support on a percentage of his income, as shown on his income tax returns, nothing more nothing less.

you need to support YOU.

 

[tigger22472]

I guess I am blown away by the fact that that OP does not see the need to establish a support order because it's not that much money or worth the hassle. What about your parents? THEY are the ones supporting this child $2 is $2 less than they have to spend on the child.. and yet you want to throw around the word "RESPONSIBLE" ... learn the meaning!!!! Establish paternity, get a support order and start living up to YOUR responsibilities and practice what you preach!!!

 

[stephgts]

I guess I am blown away by the fact that that OP does not see the need to establish a support order because it's not that much money or worth the hassle. What about your parents? THEY are the ones supporting this child $2 is $2 less than they have to spend on the child.. and yet you want to throw around the word "RESPONSIBLE" ... learn the meaning!!!! Establish paternity, get a support order and start living up to YOUR responsibilities and practice what you preach!!!

In the eyes of my father, it is responsible. He is the one who has advised me not to go to court until I need to. He thinks it would be jumping the gun. I could sit him down here and let him read every reply to my post that you guys have written about it being better to go to court now, and he still would say no. Especially because, he would be the one paying the court fees. So NO it is not worth going to court over right now. Not until I alone can afford it, and not until I absolutely need it. Right now, it's not needed, and would just be more money out of his pocket because I do NOT have the means to pay for it myself.

Then of course someone is going to reply to this telling me to get a job. Well you know that would just put me back in the situation of needing to find someone to watch my daughter while I work and that's not something I"m going to do right now. Not when she's this young. I would rather never get child support and have to support her completely on my own, then to miss these first few months of her life.