signing over parental rights

[CourtClerk]

My daughter has at least four biosiblings "out there" (that had been born before her) that she will never know. Could be more by now. Many kids live with that reality.

This is true, but your daughter is not potentially playing with these biosiblings. The OP and "boyfriend" are planning to be involved (in one way or another), just not have prince charming be a father.

 

[LdiJ]

My daughter has at least four biosiblings "out there" (that had been born before her) that she will never know. Could be more by now. Many kids live with that reality.

You can't compare your child's situation to this one. Its not the same.

 

[jade0326]

And have you considered that your two children will be siblings to this child? That they will have a brother or sister out there that they may never get the chance to know

the mom is a friend of the family. they will know her i just havn't decided yet on if they will know that she is their sister or not it is something that we all have to discuss. like i said this isnt easy for me. i dont see it getting easier and i am going to try to make the best decision, however i am not the only one make desicions in this matter somethings i dont really have a say in.

 

[las365]

i am just trying to figure it all out and what the best thing would be for my babies first and then for this child. i am sorry if that sounds bad but my babies will always be first to anyone in this earth.

Well of course your children are first to you, just as the other woman's child will be first to her. The father of all of these children doesn't get to parse his responsibilities to them in that way.

Please don't have any more children with this guy who apparently cheated on you with a close family "friend," no matter what promises he is making to you about creating a sanitized version of the future by pretending that this child isn't his.

 

[casa]

Alright, I figured this out a little while ago. If not, sounds like a plausible story.

Father cheated on girlfriend (OP) and the girl in question got pregnant. OP is pissed off about it (with merit) and father and op need a way to make this better so her 2 kids don't get slighted. Father and OP decide (apparently getting mother to go along with this ) to let father throw away his kid and become the neighbor next door or the mailman or the ice cream man or the man at the grocery store. Now, he's such an upstanding individual that he will throw away his kid, but he will absolutely send a small stipend to mother for "support." Not child support, because he doesn't intend on this being his child... just "support."

I vote for adoption. Give this child to SANE parents.

OP... just let prince charming know that no matter how "complicated" this situation is, he will need to be able to explain it (in detail) to a judge so that the judge can hear it, then (hopefully) deny his request for a TPR. No one, (IMO) has considered the best interests of the child in all of this... everyone involved seems to be considering the best interests of the adults, or maybe where you are concerned, the best interests of YOUR children.

**Stands up clapping **

 

[casa]

And have you considered that your two children will be siblings to this child? That they will have a brother or sister out there that they may never get the chance to know

the mom is a friend of the family. they will know her i just havn't decided yet on if they will know that she is their sister or not it is something that we all have to discuss. like i said this isnt easy for me. i dont see it getting easier and i am going to try to make the best decision, however i am not the only one make desicions in this matter somethings i dont really have a say in.

I understand it's probably the most difficult time in your relationship with this guy...and I ABSOLUTELY understand putting your own children as a priority. However, your husband has created a very complicated situation ~ and unfortunately, you have to deal with it by proxy.

I strongly recommend family counseling. That is not an insult, that's genuine input.

 

[jade0326]

Father and OP decide (apparently getting mother to go along with this ) to let father throw away his kid and become the neighbor next door or the mailman or the ice cream man or the man at the grocery store.

I vote for adoption. Give this child to SANE parents.

actually this was not my idea it was actually the mothers idea. their is distance between us and her she usually only comes down here once ever few months to visit with the family and she intends on keeping it that way. as for adoption i agree with you i think that would be a good idea my mother was adopted when she was a baby and she has no problems with that. however i do not think that the mother wants to do that.

 

[jade0326]

I strongly recommend family counseling.

i completely agree i just dont have the money to do this otherwise i would already be in counseling

 

[CourtClerk]

actually this was not my idea it was actually the mothers idea. their is distance between us and her she usually only comes down here once ever few months to visit with the family and she intends on keeping it that way. as for adoption i agree with you i think that would be a good idea my mother was adopted when she was a baby and she has no problems with that. however i do not think that the mother wants to do that.

I actually was hoping you'd be giving your 2 up for adoption also. None of you (all 3 of you) are fit to be parents by the tone of your post.

 

[jade0326]

I actually was hoping you'd be giving your 2 up for adoption also. None of you (all 3 of you) are fit to be parents by the tone of your post.

you are greatly mistaken. i am a good mom and i would do anything for my babies they are the best thing in the world. i love them and they love me. to suggest that i give my children up for adoption is completely ridiculous. not only would that hurt me but my babies as well as the rest of their family. that was just a stupid comment. thank you anyway. i will accept anything beneficial that you have to say but if it is going to be anything like this then i would prefer that you just not respond to this post thank you!

 

[frylover]

This isn't legal advice, you got an anwer to your TPR question. But as to the lies and deception you are planning, I"ve seen Ohiogal and others here say it before....

It is a BAD idea to spin this web of lies!

Sooner or later, chances are this will come out. Then all three children will likely be angry and resentful that they were lied to and they will rightfully blame you (collectively, not you personally). And what do you think your kids, when they are old enough to understand, will think of the fact that you and their daddy decided their baby brother or sister didn't deserve a daddy. How is this other child going to feel to know his/her Daddy didn't care enough to fight for him/her? Even if is mom's idea, the two of you seem to want to go along with it, and you'll have to explain it. Secrets like this rarely stay secret forever.

You really need to think that far ahead, because it very well could happen.

 

[jade0326]

This isn't legal advice, but I"ve seen Ohiogal say it before....

It is a BAD idea to spin this web of lies. Sooner or later, chances are this will come out. Then all three children, including yours, will likely be angry and resentful that they were lied to they will rightfully blame you (collectively, not you personally). And what do you think your kids, when they are old enough to understand, will think of the fact that you and thier daddy decided their baby brother or sister didn't deserve a daddy.

You really need to think that far ahead, because it very well could happen.

i know that one day this will come up no matter what we do and we will all have to deal with that. i dont know what we are going to do right now or what and when to tell them. i wish i had all the answers but i dont obviously. this is something that needs a lot of time a thought on. i am not sure what everyone expects me to do here, this is not easy and shouldnt be taken lightly.

 

[LdiJ]

i know that one day this will come up no matter what we do and we will all have to deal with that. i dont know what we are going to do right now or what and when to tell them. i wish i had all the answers but i dont obviously. this is something that needs a lot of time a thought on. i am not sure what everyone expects me to do here, this is not easy and shouldnt be taken lightly.

No one here is taking it lightly, but in the beginning of your thread, it certainly seemed as though you were taking it lightly....which is partly why you got as much grief as you did.

 

[jade0326]

No one here is taking it lightly, but in the beginning of your thread, it certainly seemed as though you were taking it lightly....which is partly why you got as much grief as you did.

when i first posted i didnt want to give out all of the information that i have now and i just didnt know how to word it. this is the first time i have used this site. thank you for you concern however i do appreciated it.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

And have you considered that your two children will be siblings to this child? That they will have a brother or sister out there that they may never get the chance to know

the mom is a friend of the family. So your boyfriend cheated on you with a "Friend of the family"? they will know her i just havn't decided yet on if they will know that she is their sister or not it is something that we all have to discuss. That is not even your decision,lol. You have no part in any of this. like i said this isnt easy for me. i dont see it getting easier and i am going to try to make the best decision, however i am not the only one make desicions in this matter somethings i dont really have a say in.[

GOD! Spell *i* like *I*!!!!!!!!!!!

Unless of course you want to dot the *i* with a cute heart.