signing over parental rights

[>Charlotte<]

You really need to think that far ahead, because it very well could happen.

And what is likely to happen not that far ahead is when one or all of you get out of the initial "let's all be civil and friendly about this" phase and start reacting like a lot of people eventually react (I don't want to say "most people" because I can't back it up, but I'd bet good money).

If I understand correctly from other threads I've read on this forum, any money your boyfriend gives the mother of his child could, in future court proceedings, be considered merely a "gift", and Mom can go for retroactive child support. Will an attorney please confirm or refute that?

 

[jade0326]

And have you considered that your two children will be siblings to this child? That they will have a brother or sister out there that they may never get the chance to know

the mom is a friend of the family. So your boyfriend cheated on you with a "Friend of the family"? they will know her i just havn't decided yet on if they will know that she is their sister or not it is something that we all have to discuss. That is not even your decision,lol. You have no part in any of this. like i said this isnt easy for me. i dont see it getting easier and i am going to try to make the best decision, however i am not the only one make desicions in this matter somethings i dont really have a say in.[

GOD! Spell *i* like *I*!!!!!!!!!!!

Unless of course you want to dot the *i* with a cute heart.

i can type however i feel if you dont like it dont read the post i am not writing a paper. i do however have a say in what i tell my children or dont tell my children. that is something that we all will have to discuss together of course! i already know my situation and i think i know it better then you so i dont need to hear about what happened from a stranger.

 

[jade0326]

And what is likely to happen not that far ahead is when one or all of you get out of the initial "let's all be civil and friendly about this" phase and start reacting like a lot of people eventually react (I don't want to say "most people" because I can't back it up, but I'd bet good money).

If I understand correctly from other threads I've read on this forum, any money your boyfriend gives the mother of his child could, in future court proceedings, be considered merely a "gift", and Mom can go for retroactive child support. Will an attorney please confirm or refute that?

you could very well be right about that but hopefully we can keep it civil. i do understand that it would be considered a gift and he would be fully responsible for all of it even if he has given her money. thank you for your post.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

i can type however i feel if you dont like it dont read the post i am not writing a paper. i do however have a say in what i tell my children or dont tell my children. that is something that we all will have to discuss together of course! i already know my situation and i think i know it better then you so i dont need to hear about what happened from a stranger.

That's fine, just try and make sure your kids stay in school, so they will know better.

You have been given advice and I really do not understand your need to continue this.

1. You have a Boyfriend that you have 2 children with.

Girl, you are not even married to this guy! You can't even say for fact that these are HIS kids.

2. You only want to hear what you want to hear, and it is getting boring.

3.

The Boyfriend has a family member preggo's!

Let's hope this family member is not a minor, because as it stands? Your story is trailer trash at best!

 

[jade0326]

i can type however i feel if you dont like it dont read the post i am not writing a paper. i do however have a say in what i tell my children or dont tell my children. that is something that we all will have to discuss together of course! i already know my situation and i think i know it better then you so i dont need to hear about what happened from a stranger.

That's fine, just try and make sure your kids stay in school, so they will no better.

You have been given advice and I really do not understand your need to continue this.

1. You have a Boyfriend that you have 2 children with.

Girl, you are not even married to this guy! You can't even say for fact that these are HIS kids.

2. You only want to hear what you want to hear, and it is getting boring.

3.

The Boyfriend has a family member preggo's!

Let's hope this family member is not a minor, because as it stands? Your story is trailer trash at best!

you seem like i really nice person! however, i agree this is over i got my answer awhile ago thank you to everyone that gave me advice and didnt just want to gossip and talk trash. by the way shay-pari'e she is not a family member i said a friend of the family.

 

[happybug]

Here is my advice. As you are involved with ( and not married to ) such a " stand up guy ".
The best thing you could do for your children, is to file for child support before this other child is born. Your D(irtbag )Boyfriend is I'm sure telling you everything you want to hear at this point. In the end, it will not matter if you, BF and your kids are a " family ". it will not matter that your children were born first. If the woman your BF had ( is having? ) an affair with files for CS before you do. Her 1 child will end up with about the same CS as your 2 combined. If a man has children with multiple partners, ( in the financial scheme of things ) it ALL comes down to who files first.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

i know that one day this will come up no matter what we do and we will all have to deal with that. i dont know what we are going to do right now or what and when to tell them. i wish i had all the answers but i dont obviously. this is something that needs a lot of time a thought on. i am not sure what everyone expects me to do here, this is not easy and shouldnt be taken lightly.

This does not take a lot of time to think about. So he messed around with a *Family* friend and got her preggo, and yet you two are not married.

What is the matter with you?

Ditch the guy!

This is like beating a dead horse.

You have nothing besides two kids with this guy, who may,or not even be his.

Love him, whatever floats your boat, but you are NOT in reality.

 

[mzjay]

singing over parental rights

Jade it is sad that you had to go through so much junk just to get an answer to a simple qusetion( what does someone need to do to TPR and how can that be done). I know laws are in place to protect the inocent(that being the children in this case) but sometimes the law gets in the way. Whatever your BF does make he has everything in writing and if possible set up a bank account for the child. Yes sometimes adults make poor choices that we have to live with and sometimes explain to others. I don't see the difference between this man giving up his PR and the lady who is having his baby not have it and adopt a child as a single parent (no I am inplying that someone said not to have it) now you go from a child wondering why his father ran out on him to a child wondering why neither of his parents wanted them.

i know that one day this will come up no matter what we do and we will all have to deal with that. i dont know what we are going to do right now or what and when to tell them. i wish i had all the answers but i dont obviously. this is something that needs a lot of time a thought on. i am not sure what everyone expects me to do here, this is not easy and shouldnt be taken lightly.

This does not take a lot of time to think about. So he messed around with a *Family* friend and got her preggo, and yet you two are not married.

What is the matter with you?

Ditch the guy!

This is like beating a dead horse.

You have nothing besides two kids with this guy, who may,or not even be his.

Love him, whatever floats your boat, but you are NOT in reality.

Jade we sometimes can't help who we love even when it makes us look foolish ( no insult intended). Been there done that. Just don't fall for his B#ll Sh$T forever and know when enough is enough and it's time to say good bye.

Good luck and Blessings

My advice is not legal but I just you felt you were being bash for no reason and I had to say something.

 

[moburkes]

Whatever! He didn't marry her to have 2 kids with her. Then, he apparently cheated on her to have sex, unprotected, apparently, and get another woman that he wasn't married to pregnant, and now she is ALL FOR him abandoning his parental responsibilities to that other child.

Whatever.

 

[jbowman]

Happybug had a very good point.

Go to the courthouse and file for a support order for your kids--regardless if the two of you are still together or not.

If you do not--this new mom can file for Child support and it will come before your children. Meaning--if the two of you break up... you get whats LEFT after paying her support-- not vice versa.

If you are truly most concerned with your kids, this is probably what you should do--right after you kick that a-hole to the curb. thats just gross.

 

[Zephyr]

Happybug had a very good point.

Go to the courthouse and file for a support order for your kids--regardless if the two of you are still together or not.

If you do not--this new mom can file for Child support and it will come before your children. Meaning--if the two of you break up... you get whats LEFT after paying her support-- not vice versa.

If you are truly most concerned with your kids, this is probably what you should do--right after you kick that a-hole to the curb. thats just gross.

my advice as well

 

[GrowUp!]

the baby is the most important this in this situation and this IS in the best interest of the baby.

Then prove it to the court (the bolded part since "best interest" is a LEGAL determination...not what 'you' think).

 

[GrowUp!]

just to clarify a little bit even though though the father would terminate his LEGAL right to the baby we discussed that he would still help out with .

That's NOT how it works. You just do not get it. When one's LEGAL RIGHTS/OBLIGATIONS are terminated, that also means any current and future financial support.

 

[GrowUp!]

it seems that a lot people are concerned with the taxer payers ,etc..

You're g-damned right there are ALOT of people concerned about taxpayers. I am one of them.

WE are sick and f-ing tired of supporting DEADBEATS who can lay on their backs and pop out kids like it's a career and they get benefits that are paid by US taxpayers.

Don't like it? Too freaking bad. To quote a country song from the 90's: call someone who cares.