pelletierjason
Junior Member
What is the name of your state? New Hampshire
Hey all,
I was with a woman for 4 years and had a child with her. We never married and separated when my child was almost 2. Shortly after, she took me to court for CS (obviously expected) and everything was going ok. I didn't make a lot of money at the time and the support order was for ~ $75/week.
It has been over ten years since that support order was issued so she took me back to court to for a support modification. Neither one of us could afford an attorney so we both went on our own behalf. I have made my child support payments on time and have even been overpaying a little...which started getting mailed to me in small checks since she instantiated the new court appearance. Well, in ten years I have worked my tail off and studied and done everything I can to get myself a good job and earn some decent money. I also since got married and had another daughter with my wife whom both live with me in a house I just purchased last November.
So, I get the court order in the mail last week and my new support payment is just over $800/month and I now have to provide health insurance and cover medical expenses 50/50, etc. and the best part is that it says the order goes into effect a month ago (the date of the hearing) so I am already behind.
I am well aware that the law states that the person that makes more (me) has to share the wealth with the other party in order to provide both sides an "equal" lifestyle.
My current living situation is now in jeopardy and my wife and youngest daughter are major stress (as well as myself) because of this severe cut in my pay. I'm not sure I can even afford this house now and have had to cancel my youngest daughter's gymnastics and wasn't able to afford to take my oldest to the fair (which she desperately wanted to go to). I honestly felt like telling my oldest to ask her mom why I couldn't bring her but I don't get my kids involved in this kind of stuff. This new order is going to basically pay my ex's mortgage while I struggle to pay mine and put my family in a situation of struggle that I have worked so hard to avoid.
I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm going to have a breakdown and I'm so angry that this can be construed as "fair". I know I need(ed) a lawyer but especially now, there's no way I can afford one. I need to use every extra dime I have to make sure my family can eat and so I have gas to get to work. Which is also in jeopardy because I need to get some auto repairs done which I also can't afford now.
Any feedback is greatly appreciated. I seriously doubt there's anything that can be done for me, I guess I just needed to vent.
A final thought: Why does it feel like I am being punished for trying to better my life and my ex gets rewarded for not trying to better hers?
Hey all,
I was with a woman for 4 years and had a child with her. We never married and separated when my child was almost 2. Shortly after, she took me to court for CS (obviously expected) and everything was going ok. I didn't make a lot of money at the time and the support order was for ~ $75/week.
It has been over ten years since that support order was issued so she took me back to court to for a support modification. Neither one of us could afford an attorney so we both went on our own behalf. I have made my child support payments on time and have even been overpaying a little...which started getting mailed to me in small checks since she instantiated the new court appearance. Well, in ten years I have worked my tail off and studied and done everything I can to get myself a good job and earn some decent money. I also since got married and had another daughter with my wife whom both live with me in a house I just purchased last November.
So, I get the court order in the mail last week and my new support payment is just over $800/month and I now have to provide health insurance and cover medical expenses 50/50, etc. and the best part is that it says the order goes into effect a month ago (the date of the hearing) so I am already behind.
I am well aware that the law states that the person that makes more (me) has to share the wealth with the other party in order to provide both sides an "equal" lifestyle.
My current living situation is now in jeopardy and my wife and youngest daughter are major stress (as well as myself) because of this severe cut in my pay. I'm not sure I can even afford this house now and have had to cancel my youngest daughter's gymnastics and wasn't able to afford to take my oldest to the fair (which she desperately wanted to go to). I honestly felt like telling my oldest to ask her mom why I couldn't bring her but I don't get my kids involved in this kind of stuff. This new order is going to basically pay my ex's mortgage while I struggle to pay mine and put my family in a situation of struggle that I have worked so hard to avoid.
I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm going to have a breakdown and I'm so angry that this can be construed as "fair". I know I need(ed) a lawyer but especially now, there's no way I can afford one. I need to use every extra dime I have to make sure my family can eat and so I have gas to get to work. Which is also in jeopardy because I need to get some auto repairs done which I also can't afford now.
Any feedback is greatly appreciated. I seriously doubt there's anything that can be done for me, I guess I just needed to vent.
A final thought: Why does it feel like I am being punished for trying to better my life and my ex gets rewarded for not trying to better hers?