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Mom Refused to have Daughter Treated

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wileybunch

Senior Member
I shudder to think what'll happen if one of the girls needs something when they're with him.
That's what Mrs. Stupidhead's are good for. :p

Chamillion, like someone else said, the adult scented body washes are a no no for little girls. I wouldn't risk it if she already gets UTIs. By the way, the B&BW classic lotions are just $3 right now. :)
 

Suzz

Member
If she likes yogart, feed her some.
Having a child prone to both inner ear trouble and yeast infections (have to love the side effects of antibiotics) yogurt was suggested to me. A few tricks I found helped when she decided she didn't like yogurt. I'd freeze it in Popsicle trays, get the gogurt tubes, or add grape nuts and let it sit for a few minutes, to add a little crunch and change the texture a bit.

Hope this helps a little ... good luck
 

milspecgirl

Senior Member
definitely have her tested. also, has she been on antibiotics lately? that can be a huge reason for a yeast infection. a yeast infection was actually the way sd was diagnosed as a diabetic.
 

Bloopy

Senior Member
So wait a minute.

You're pissed because Mom didn't take the child to the ER on the 24th because you felt the child should have been seen IMMEDIATELY.

Yet, when you picked the child up the next day, and upon inspection noticed bumps, you thought "Yeah, it can wait til tomorrow afternoon"

How does that work, exactly?
Double standards tick me off but I didn’t see one in this case.

He thought she should have been seen immediately at the ER when he thought she had blisters and possibly herpes. Mom said she’d take her instead of, “Its Christmas Eve, it can wait for a regular doctors visit.”

Upon his own inspection, no blisters. Also he had a bit of time to quit spazzing.

This is why he’s upset.

When I asked her why she lied and said she was going to take her to the ER, she told me it was because she was worried that it was the same thing I was thinking when she first told meand she was afraid of what may have happened. I explained to her that anytime our daughter needs medical treatment, that there should never be a time when she goes without because she was afraid. Had she not been violating the courts order, the possiblility of it being herpes wouldn't have even entered her mind...but that's a whole nother' situation.
 

Bloopy

Senior Member
Oh, and I second, third, fourth herpes testing but think it is most likely just a yeast infection.

You’ve been given tips on causes and prevention. I just wanted to add that neither of you, yep not even Mom, are to blame…regardless of showering practices, a fascination with Bath& Body etc. Yeast infections tend to be a recurring beast so be proactive in prevention but don’t be surprised if it happens again.
 

CJane

Senior Member
Double standards tick me off but I didn’t see one in this case.

He thought she should have been seen immediately at the ER when he thought she had blisters and possibly herpes. Mom said she’d take her instead of, “Its Christmas Eve, it can wait for a regular doctors visit.”

Upon his own inspection, no blisters. Also he had a bit of time to quit spazzing.

This is why he’s upset.
I know. He's upset because Mom wasn't honest with him. But ya know what? She doesn't HAVE to be honest with him. They have a VERY VERY contentious relationship. She INFORMED him of an issue with the child and he DEMANDED that she take the kid to the ER. When she said No, she didn't think that was necessary, he left work and told her that HE was going to take the child to the ER. So Mom said "No, I'll take care of it."

So she wasn't honest about going to the ER. Turns out, it wasn't an emergency or DAD would have taken the kid to the ER when he got her. So it's an impasse, isn't it? MOM determined that it wasn't an emergency and SO DID DAD.

If DAD keeps thinking that Mom's lack of complete honesty with him is actionable, he's going to spend a hell of a lot of time chasing his tail.
 

Bloopy

Senior Member
I know. He's upset because Mom wasn't honest with him. But ya know what? She doesn't HAVE to be honest with him. They have a VERY VERY contentious relationship. She INFORMED him of an issue with the child and he DEMANDED that she take the kid to the ER. When she said No, she didn't think that was necessary, he left work and told her that HE was going to take the child to the ER. So Mom said "No, I'll take care of it."
I didn’t get the vibe she wasn’t honest just to placate the annoying beast. According to Chameleon, she said it was because of the whole herpes innuendo. She didn’t say, "Wait ‘till Wednesday."

I do respect the fact that she informed him about it in the first place.

If he’s lying or exaggerating then he’ll be the one with egg on his face.
 
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CJane

Senior Member
I didn’t get the vibe she wasn’t honest just to placate the annoying beast. According to Chameleon, she said it was because of the whole herpes innuendo. She didn’t say, "Wait ‘till Wednesday."

I do respect the fact that she informed him about it in the first place.

If he’s lying or exaggerating then he’ll be the one with egg on his face.
What I'm saying is that the WHY doesn't matter at this point.

It wasn't an emergency - Dad confirmed that it wasn't an emergency after all by waiting. So to NOW claim that Mom did ANYTHING wrong by NOT taking the child to the ER won't hold water.

Dad has bigger concerns and he needs to concentrate on THEM instead of whether or not Mom is doing as she's told or as he THINKS she should... especially when HE made a decision to wait ALSO.

See what I mean?

Find my post about Wild's ingrown hair that got infected and SH's reaction to it. HE thinks I should have done something about it when I noticed it on a Tuesday night (they go to his house on Wednesday after school) but HE CHOSE to wait til Thursday when he could get her an appointment.

But yet, he'll use THAT to try to prove that I make bad decisions. Nevermind that HE didn't see it as an ER worthy thing either.
 

Bloopy

Senior Member
I agree mom did nothing wrong by not taking her to the ER.

It’s the “covering BF’s @ss” possibility that has Dad understandably fuming.

I do agree he has a whole lot of fish to fry and this isn’t a priority. I just didn’t quite see a double standard.
 

Bloopy

Senior Member
My post about Wild's ingrown hair that got infected and SH's reaction to it. HE thinks I should have done something about it when I noticed it on a Tuesday night (they go to his house on Wednesday after school) but HE CHOSE to wait til Thursday when he could get her an appointment.

But yet, he'll use THAT to try to prove that I make bad decisions. Nevermind that HE didn't see it as an ER worthy thing either.
StupidHead is Stupid
 

happybug

Member
UTIs are pretty common in little girls. Especially if they take bubble baths. A yeast infection is pretty uncommon unless DD has been on an antibiotic. It could be nothing but if you are worried about possible abuse issues with the new boyfriend, it could be a big problem. If mom has a yeast infection, DD could possibly pick it up if they took a bath together.

I don't know if there would be a way to find out for sure but it would be possible that the boyfriend could have passed it from mother ( or some other woman ) to daughter. I know if a woman has frequent yeast infections, they will usually treat the partner too. A man will not likely show symptoms of a yeast infection but he can keep re-infecting his partner. I am not saying this is how your daughter got a yeast infection. If you are taking her in for herpes testing, it may be something you could ask her doctor about.
 

wileybunch

Senior Member
I agree mom did nothing wrong by not taking her to the ER.

It’s the “covering BF’s @ss” possibility that has Dad understandably fuming.

I do agree he has a whole lot of fish to fry and this isn’t a priority. I just didn’t quite see a double standard.
I see CJane's point.

Anyway, although I have taken care of the problem...I consider this to be somethign very serious and needs attentoin. I still have the text messages we sent where she is stating the symptoms, and my asking her to go to the ER, her refusing, and then finally lying. I have recorded converssations between us about the incident described where she admits all these things in our conversation as well. It pisses me off because she not only refuses her medical treatment, but she doesn't even give her the medication that she needs on a daily basis, so she comes to our house sick. Thank God I took your advice and had dual prescription written so that she's 9 times out of 10 well whenshe leaves our house.

What can I do about this?? Something needs to be done!
If Dad thought it was "something serious and needs attention", why did he wait? I understand he determined it wasn't as urgent after all, but then he can't describe it this way when all's said and done (this was his last paragraph in his OP).
 
Cool responses. They'll help me A LOT in the future to prevent this from happening again.

I re-read my post, and I need to clarify something here really quick.

I didn't take her to the ER right away because I figured mom had. I didn't receive any word about it, and she didn't answer when I called that night to see what transpired between the time I asked her to take her to the ER and when I picked her up.

Taking her to the pediatrician was just my own follow-up if you will. It was after I had taken her that I learned Mom lied about taking her to the ER. It was during the phone call when I was letting her know what the pediatrician said to me about the discharge all of these things were disclosed. Had I known that she had not taken her, I'd have quickly made a trip to the ER. I do see your point though, about it turning out to not being as much an emergency as I had thought. My reaction is based purely on the habit of lying mom has when it comes to our daughter and her health.
 

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