What is the name of your state? Currently Texas, Moving to Ohio
Hello All,
I have been lurking on the board for the last 6 months of my pregnancy, trying to learn as much as I possibly can about moving from one state to another. My first post 6 months ago was pretty emotional and "newbie," but I've had a long time to think about things.
Some background... I live in Texas, right on the border of Mexico. I have been living there for 8 years, working as a teacher. I got pregnant by my ex-boyfriend of 2 years. I broke things off with him while I was pregnant because of his cheating, alcohol abuse, and his anger issues. We never lived together, he never supported me, he never gave me money before I was pregnant. Since we broke up, I have allowed him to come to the doctors visits when he wants to because my pregnancy has been deemed very high risk. I'm a Type I Diabetic on an insulin pump, and I have some pretty serious nerve damage in my legs. Each of us has been very scared of complications, but so far so good.
We had agreed that we would split everything 50/50 in the pregnancy (I have emails, but nothing official in writing). He has done nothing for me financially. I informed him that I would be moving to Ohio after the baby was born, when my teaching contract ends at the end of the 2008 school year. I had tried to gather a game plan where I would just move to Ohio 6 months ago and have the baby up here, but with my health insurance and disability, and a teaching contract and potentially $100K in medical bills I decided to remain in Texas until the baby is born and I finish out the school year, then move. He has known this is my plan all along, and has said that he won't stop me, and that he knows I'm doing it to provide the most stable environment for the baby.
I have been googling long term parent plans, and trying to find a financially plausible solution that keeps him as involved as possible in his child's life. He already has one child who lives 4 hours from him that he sees every other month or so for a weekend or one day. He constantly breaks his holiday visitations with her (He had her for Thanksgiving, left the little girl with his sister all week; He had her for Christmas, told mom he couldn't take her because he had to work; he has her for upcoming spring break, probably won't take her then either). When we were together, he used to give me a sob story about how the mother was so mean and horrible and wouldn't let him see his daughter, but I have since learned he lied to me about all of that. He wasn't exercising his visitation. This makes me very nervous as to what I have to expect when I have a newborn.
My family has agreed to help me out for a year (or whatever ends up necessary) after the baby is born by providing me a place to live in their house in Ohio, help with medical care and my recovery, and by providing stability for the baby. HIs family and his other child's mother in Texas have called me and harrassed me (think jaxpink.... arg.....) and I don't do drama.
So - my questions are two part:
1. What should I do about setting up long distance visitation with someone who has a track record or last-minute breaking visitation?
2. What should I do if he will not help me with child care expenses amd medical bills incurred during pregnancy?
I know his debt load, and his financial record is not good. He is about to have a car repossessed - and he really has bitten off more than he can chew. I have planned throughout the pregnancy and can buy the necessary baby items on my own if I have to (I am completely capable of supporting this baby on my own if I have to at this point, barring no serious complications from a C-section or my diabetes after birth). I will return to work by getting an Ohio teaching certification as soon as I can, and beginning the 2008 school year. I will not let this ruin me financially after all I have worked for, but I don't think the father should get of "scott-free." Would this be a case for small claims court?
I'm just beginning to get really nervous. I'm having my little boy on February 20th, and not only do I have new-mom jitters, but I'm scared of what the father and his family will do (or not do.)
Thanks in advance for your advice.
Hello All,
I have been lurking on the board for the last 6 months of my pregnancy, trying to learn as much as I possibly can about moving from one state to another. My first post 6 months ago was pretty emotional and "newbie," but I've had a long time to think about things.
Some background... I live in Texas, right on the border of Mexico. I have been living there for 8 years, working as a teacher. I got pregnant by my ex-boyfriend of 2 years. I broke things off with him while I was pregnant because of his cheating, alcohol abuse, and his anger issues. We never lived together, he never supported me, he never gave me money before I was pregnant. Since we broke up, I have allowed him to come to the doctors visits when he wants to because my pregnancy has been deemed very high risk. I'm a Type I Diabetic on an insulin pump, and I have some pretty serious nerve damage in my legs. Each of us has been very scared of complications, but so far so good.
We had agreed that we would split everything 50/50 in the pregnancy (I have emails, but nothing official in writing). He has done nothing for me financially. I informed him that I would be moving to Ohio after the baby was born, when my teaching contract ends at the end of the 2008 school year. I had tried to gather a game plan where I would just move to Ohio 6 months ago and have the baby up here, but with my health insurance and disability, and a teaching contract and potentially $100K in medical bills I decided to remain in Texas until the baby is born and I finish out the school year, then move. He has known this is my plan all along, and has said that he won't stop me, and that he knows I'm doing it to provide the most stable environment for the baby.
I have been googling long term parent plans, and trying to find a financially plausible solution that keeps him as involved as possible in his child's life. He already has one child who lives 4 hours from him that he sees every other month or so for a weekend or one day. He constantly breaks his holiday visitations with her (He had her for Thanksgiving, left the little girl with his sister all week; He had her for Christmas, told mom he couldn't take her because he had to work; he has her for upcoming spring break, probably won't take her then either). When we were together, he used to give me a sob story about how the mother was so mean and horrible and wouldn't let him see his daughter, but I have since learned he lied to me about all of that. He wasn't exercising his visitation. This makes me very nervous as to what I have to expect when I have a newborn.
My family has agreed to help me out for a year (or whatever ends up necessary) after the baby is born by providing me a place to live in their house in Ohio, help with medical care and my recovery, and by providing stability for the baby. HIs family and his other child's mother in Texas have called me and harrassed me (think jaxpink.... arg.....) and I don't do drama.
So - my questions are two part:
1. What should I do about setting up long distance visitation with someone who has a track record or last-minute breaking visitation?
2. What should I do if he will not help me with child care expenses amd medical bills incurred during pregnancy?
I know his debt load, and his financial record is not good. He is about to have a car repossessed - and he really has bitten off more than he can chew. I have planned throughout the pregnancy and can buy the necessary baby items on my own if I have to (I am completely capable of supporting this baby on my own if I have to at this point, barring no serious complications from a C-section or my diabetes after birth). I will return to work by getting an Ohio teaching certification as soon as I can, and beginning the 2008 school year. I will not let this ruin me financially after all I have worked for, but I don't think the father should get of "scott-free." Would this be a case for small claims court?
I'm just beginning to get really nervous. I'm having my little boy on February 20th, and not only do I have new-mom jitters, but I'm scared of what the father and his family will do (or not do.)
Thanks in advance for your advice.