CP visitation rights

[Isis1]

So you are telling my child should not have the right to choose to do activities (unless if affects his academic work) he wants to do, to go spend time with his dad? He is suppose to miss out on the things HE wants to do?

YES!! YES!! YES!!!

So I guess when he wants to play in the state championship football game or go to state for an academic competition, he shouldn't go because daddy choose to see him.

you better believe it

And further more, I don't care if his dad wants him or not. That is not the problem. The problem is we are having to drive 45 minutes away to drop him off with his dad. His dad only lives 25 minutes from the normal drop off point!

 

[stealth2]

So you are telling my child should not have the right to choose to do activities (unless if affects his academic work) he wants to do, to go spend time with his dad? He is suppose to miss out on the things HE wants to do?

So I guess when he wants to play in the state championship football game or go to state for an academic competition, he shouldn't go because daddy choose to see him.

And further more, I don't care if his dad wants him or not. That is not the problem. The problem is we are having to drive 45 minutes away to drop him off with his dad. His dad only lives 25 minutes from the normal drop off point!

Yet you chose to move further away. That is YOUR problem, not Dad's.

And yes, sometimes you do have to tell children no. For any number of reasons. If you have a court order that his chosen activities conflict with, then you tell him no or face contempt of court. It truly is that simple. You're not the only one who has had to do so. Your son isn't THAT special.

 

[tanilan]

tan- be realistic....you moved, did you not think about the additional driving prior to the move? And the normal drop off point is- you get kiddo from dad's house, he gets kiddo from your house

Okay wait a minute. I got married. I went where the job was. We made a compromise to meet at a certain point. That point is conventient only when he sees fit. I am not trying to not let my son see his dad I want him to have a relationship with his dad.

When we lived in the same town, four blocks from one another, I had to take him to his dad's when his dad had to pass by my house just to pick him up. I didn't say anything. I just did it trying to be the good person.

I know it is not convenient in these days and times to go traversing across Texas, but you go where the job is. I didn't move to get away from him. I moved because I went on with my life and got my kids in a better situation. They are thriving and involved and my son is happy.

When I was a kid, my mother moved me from Indiana to Texas, away from my dad. But my dad sent for me or came and saw me. If I had something important coming up in school, he would come all this way just to support me.

 

[Zephyr]

No I am driving from our house, 45 minutes away to meet him in another town that is not even the town he lives in. He lives approximately an 1 1/2 hours away from where we live!

that's almost 100 mils isn't it? be lucky you aren't doing all the driving

 

[LdiJ]

So you are telling my child should not have the right to choose to do activities (unless if affects his academic work) he wants to do, to go spend time with his dad? He is suppose to miss out on the things HE wants to do?

So I guess when he wants to play in the state championship football game or go to state for an academic competition, he shouldn't go because daddy choose to see him.

And further more, I don't care if his dad wants him or not. That is not the problem. The problem is we are having to drive 45 minutes away to drop him off with his dad. His dad only lives 25 minutes from the normal drop off point!

Most courts are going to allow a reasonable accomodation for activities as long as they don't infringe too much on dad's time. If his weekends are loaded, its a problem. If its just that pickup has to be later on Friday evening, that's not such a big deal.

If its the occasional weekend for something truly important, like an academic competition or a championship game, (or prom for that matter) that's not going to be a huge deal either.

Meeting half way is a reasonable compromise to you picking up at dad's house and him picking up at your house. If the total distance is 1 1/2 hours, then 45 minutes is half way.

However again, you can follow the orders exactly.

 

[Zephyr]

Okay wait a minute. I got married. I went where the job was. We made a compromise to meet at a certain point. That point is conventient only when he sees fit. I am not trying to not let my son see his dad I want him to have a relationship with his dad.

When we lived in the same town, four blocks from one another, I had to take him to his dad's when his dad had to pass by my house just to pick him up. I didn't say anything. I just did it trying to be the good person.

I know it is not convenient in these days and times to go traversing across Texas, but you go where the job is. I didn't move to get away from him. I moved because I went on with my life and got my kids in a better situation. They are thriving and involved and my son is happy.

When I was a kid, my mother moved me from Indiana to Texas, away from my dad. But my dad sent for me or came and saw me. If I had something important coming up in school, he would come all this way just to support me.

You need to realize that "punitive actions" do not work well with co-parenting

You also need to realize that your ex husband is not your dad

You also need to realize the law is very clear regarding exchanges of the child

If dad has been accommodating regarding the activity schedule, why in the world would you throw a fly in the ointment over the transportation? Which is more important to you?...Because technically, if dad pushed it....he could prevail on BOTH

 

[The_Non-Mom]

Okay wait a minute. I got married. I went where the job was.

You were four blocks away from Dad and you moved so you could be with your new hubby and job? Nice priorities.

When I was a kid, my mother moved me from Indiana to Texas, away from my dad. But my dad sent for me or came and saw me. If I had something important coming up in school, he would come all this way just to support me.

Ummmm...good for you? Not sure why you think this is relevant.

Bottom line is you moved and your son's activities are interfering with Dad's time. Either you can fix it or Dad can have a judge fix it for him.

 

[Humusluvr]

Okay wait a minute. I got married. I went where the job was. We made a compromise to meet at a certain point. That point is conventient only when he sees fit. I am not trying to not let my son see his dad I want him to have a relationship with his dad.

I'm sorry, but you are being completely ridiculous.

You did not move for YOUR job, you moved because you followed a man. Not same thing. And not dad's problem. Dad is still dad, and he didn't move or do anything worng. You had to have realized when YOU moved that YOU were now responsible to deliver the child to dad.

If you don't like it, move back.

When we lived in the same town, four blocks from one another, I had to take him to his dad's when his dad had to pass by my house just to pick him up. I didn't say anything. I just did it trying to be the good person.

That's not a good person, that's following a court order. Like you're supposed to.

I know it is not convenient in these days and times to go traversing across Texas, but you go where the job is. I didn't move to get away from him. I moved because I went on with my life and got my kids in a better situation. They are thriving and involved and my son is happy.

New hubby is not "new daddy." Dad is dad. You moved and got away from dad, so this mess is your responsibility.

Why don't you just sign up son with activities in dad's area. Then your wonder son will get to do it all - half near you, half near dad.

Tell your son no. Tell him his father, his parent, his half of the life forming process comes before throwing a ball. I can't believe you're even making that argument. How petty and selfish and delusional of you.

 

[Silverplum]

Tell your son no. Tell him his father, his parent, his half of the life forming process comes before throwing a ball. I can't believe you're even making that argument. How petty and selfish and delusional of you.

Well, to be totally fair, the ball might also be kicked. Or hit. Or even bounced.

 

[The_Non-Mom]

Well, to be totally fair, the ball might also be kicked. Or hit. Or even bounced.

Or it might not be a ball at all.

OP, try putting the shoe on the other foot. What if you were the NCP and your son didn't come to see you on a regular basis because his dad allowed him to be too busy to do so? What would you want your son to consider more important: you or his sports?

ETA: Ya know, OP, in four or eight years, when your son is out of high school and done with college, do you think he will look back and say, "Boy, I am so glad I missed all of those years with my dad so I could be sixth in my district"?

 

[tanilan]

Then dad is meeting you halfway. He should be picking the child up at your place but you need to realize that YOU moved. You also need to realize that dad is important in the child's life and allowing dad to be scheduled out of junior's life while stepdad is scheduled in is NOT going to work well with the judge.

First off, dad has never been an integral part of this kid's life. Other than just spending time with him, his dad has done nothing for him. I can live with that. And I have since day one. He has even told me that he is glad our son is involved and that in this day and age, it is good because then we don't have to worry about him getting into trouble.

We generally don't have a problem with one another. He only threatens to enforce the order when it inconveniences him. This whole problem started when he decided to take our son the the Dallas Cowboy game in Arlington. We agreed to work out a place to meet Sunday night, because he didn't want to ruin our son's perfect attendance. But since he didn't want to drive to the normal drop off point, we had to go the full distance to pick him up.

This order was put in place 13 1/2 years ago. When it was put into place, we were still together. We didn't pay attention to any of it at that time. But when we split up, that's when we started having the ups and downs. In fact he spent more time with my other son (who is not his) than he did with his own.

I would never keep them away from one another, but I chose a better life for myself and my kids and I don't think they should have to pay for that decision.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

When said child chooses to do these activities, then what am I to do? Tell him no? His dad doesn't even come to any of his activities to support him!

This is the same convoluted logic that The Ex uses. We used to live less than a mile apart too. She moved an hour away to live with her BF. Now, it’s MY issue that LMPS can’t be involved in sports/activities/gymnastics.

Also, maybe Dad doesn't come to many because it's a 3 hour roundtrip?

 

[stealth2]

First off, dad has never been an integral part of this kid's life. Other than just spending time with him, his dad has done nothing for him.

Oh wow. Dad has done NOTHING for him beyond spending time with the boy? You should be thankful he does that. Time is more important than money.

I don't think they should have to pay for that decision.

They shouldn't. Which is why you should have given some serious thought and research before (a) moving your kids away from Dad and (b) involving them in activities than interfere with visitation.

 

[Zephyr]

First off, dad has never been an integral part of this kid's life. Other than just spending time with him, his dad has done nothing for him. I can live with that. And I have since day one. He has even told me that he is glad our son is involved and that in this day and age, it is good because then we don't have to worry about him getting into trouble.

We generally don't have a problem with one another. He only threatens to enforce the order when it inconveniences him. This whole problem started when he decided to take our son the the Dallas Cowboy game in Arlington. We agreed to work out a place to meet Sunday night, because he didn't want to ruin our son's perfect attendance. But since he didn't want to drive to the normal drop off point, we had to go the full distance to pick him up.

This order was put in place 13 1/2 years ago. When it was put into place, we were still together. We didn't pay attention to any of it at that time. But when we split up, that's when we started having the ups and downs. In fact he spent more time with my other son (who is not his) than he did with his own.

I would never keep them away from one another, but I chose a better life for myself and my kids and I don't think they should have to pay for that decision.

tan- it boils down to

1. you have a specific set of rules to follow UNLESS you can agree to something different
2. you cannot force him to agree to something different
3. that he doesn't parent in the way you think he should does not affect his legal rights to the child
4. it doesn't matter if the order is old- it still stands, if you don't like the order, ask the court to modify it



you can argue the could be's and should be's with us all day- it will not change your situation or how the law relates to your situation

 

[Silverplum]

Also, maybe Dad doesn't come to many because it's a 3 hour roundtrip?

Ya think?

And because StepPappy is COACH-GOD?

Yeah.

While I'm at it, I could not express my complete contempt for the "value" of hi-skool and junior hi-skool sports, unless I pulled my eyes out of my head and juggled them. Waste of resources, waste of time, waste period. Yes, I know it's not a *popular* viewpoint. I care not. IMO, they're a complete waste of time that should/could be better spent studying, spending time with family, watching clouds go by, doing chores, etc. And don't bother me with the "physical fitness" argument: healthy, active children don't need skool-sports to stay healthy. They need chores.