CP visitation rights

[stealth2]

I don't care about scholarships -- I knew waaaaay too many sporty-types in college who learned nothing in hi-skool and nothing in college. Passed anyway, because they're sporty. It's meaningless. There's no education involved.

As far as keeping kids out of trouble? That's up to their parents, and themselves. They can stay plenty busy in the LIBRARY.

Sorry, SP, but I'm going to disagree. Sure, there are sports kids who should really be spending that time studying and/or in the library. And then you have those like my youngest. Lemme tell you about her.

She's a freshman in HS. Instead of going to our local HS, she applied to, was accepted and attends a specialized science magnet school. She gets up every morning at 5am, to catch a bus at 5:30 - which takes her on a 1 1/2 hour commute. School lets out at 1pm, and then she gets back on the bus for another 1 1/2 hour commute. In the fall, she goes straight to our home HS (where my eldest goes) for field hockey. She's the only freshman who plays varsity - that's an achievement for a freshman, even more of one who doesn't actually attend the school. By the time she gets home, it's 7pm - she still has homework to do. She gets 6 weeks downtime before winter league starts. That runs for two months, two days a week. Then she plays on a travel team - she started last year as an 8th grader. She was the only non-HS girl in the league. That runs all spring & summer.

On top of that, she maintains an A average, in a school where all classes are taught at an AP/college level. When she's not in school or on the field, her nose is in a book, studying, or she's babysitting across the street. Honestly? I'd rather she spent some time at home, doing nothing, in front of the tv.

She is looking at scholarships in both academics and sports. MS and HS sports have done a LOT for her. They've given her a place to be competitive physically, they've kept her in shape, they've expanded her circle of friends, and they've expanded her leadership skills.

We're "lucky" in that her Dad is relatively uninvolved, so she has the flexibility to be involved as she is. Sure, I'd rather he was around - and she'd be giving up a lot of what she does. But he's not. That's life.

Sports are not a bad thing.

 

[The_Non-Mom]

Sports are not a bad thing.

No, but sports that restrict a parent's desired and court-ordered parenting time are a bad thing.

OP, sorry you did not get what you wanted to hear. If you had looked around this forum for more than 30 seconds, you would have gotten a good idea of how the members (especially the seniors) would react to your attitude. I'm sure that www.superinvolvedmomandstepdadsupportingthegoldenchildwithoutregardforhisfather.com will be able to give you the opinions you desire.

 

[Isis1]

No, but sports that restrict a parent's desired and court-ordered parenting time are a bad thing.

OP, sorry you did not get what you wanted to hear. If you had looked around this forum for more than 30 seconds, you would have gotten a good idea of how the members (especially the seniors) would react to your attitude.


....LMFAO!!

 

[Silverplum]

Sorry, SP, but I'm going to disagree. Sure, there are sports kids who should really be spending that time studying and/or in the library. And then you have those like my youngest. Lemme tell you about her....

I knew someone would disagree, of course. At least it was a parent whose parenting I respect.

I'll go with Non-Mom's response, because it was very good. Sports that restrict a parent's desired and court-ordered parenting time are a bad thing.

Your X is not wanting that time, which is a dang shame, because his children with you are, by all accounts, superbly fine young people. His loss.

 

[tanilan]

UMMM you took Cyjeff's post way too literal. The point is... you need to put yourself in Dad's shoes. How would it feel if you were told "Sorry, son is too busy for you... he's got soccer."? Lame.

And yes, when son is in High School, he can still be told NO if he is signing up for 657987465 activities that would potentially interfere with Dad's time. UNLESS Dad agrees.

That is the point you all are missing! It isn't about the time he spends with him! It is only about transportation. That is all! Geez!

His dad does NOT have a problem with him doing activities! He wants him to be involved! That has and never has been the issue! He agrees with me that if it interferes with his school work then he is not to do any of it.

School is the most important thing! Not athletics! UIL Academics I believe is important because it challenges what you have LEARNED! Again he has not problem with that!

So stop judging me and listen to what I am saying. Our only real issue is getting him back and forth! And I'm sorry when someone dies in this family, as well as his it is extremely important that our son is there! When his dad's grandfather passed, I made sure he was there! I took him all the way to his dad's, no questions asked. That is important.

Furthmore, for those of you who think I am placing my child above all others. You are extremely wrong. And my husband, also encourages him to go see his dad, even call on those off weeks when he doesn't go to see him. He is a good man.

But when getting our son here and there becomes and issue that we cannot resolve, it only causes my son pain. He doesn't want us to fight and I think he is at the age now where he should be able to talk to his dad and have a reasonable conversation.

If that is a problem for any of you...I am completely sorry! But believe me, our only issue is the transportation.

He even wants him to get involved in AG (Four-H for those of you that live other places besides Texas), but he understands that our son is allergic to a lot of stuff and understands that.

Again, our issue is only transportation. And it is only a problem when it interferes with something he doesn't want to do. Usually we don't have this problem.

 

[Zephyr]

Your question about transportation has been asked and answered, answered several times actually....if people are off point, or you do not feel their advice is relevant....ignore it

 

[tanilan]

Sorry, SP, but I'm going to disagree. Sure, there are sports kids who should really be spending that time studying and/or in the library. And then you have those like my youngest. Lemme tell you about her.

She's a freshman in HS. Instead of going to our local HS, she applied to, was accepted and attends a specialized science magnet school. She gets up every morning at 5am, to catch a bus at 5:30 - which takes her on a 1 1/2 hour commute. School lets out at 1pm, and then she gets back on the bus for another 1 1/2 hour commute. In the fall, she goes straight to our home HS (where my eldest goes) for field hockey. She's the only freshman who plays varsity - that's an achievement for a freshman, even more of one who doesn't actually attend the school. By the time she gets home, it's 7pm - she still has homework to do. She gets 6 weeks downtime before winter league starts. That runs for two months, two days a week. Then she plays on a travel team - she started last year as an 8th grader. She was the only non-HS girl in the league. That runs all spring & summer.

On top of that, she maintains an A average, in a school where all classes are taught at an AP/college level. When she's not in school or on the field, her nose is in a book, studying, or she's babysitting across the street. Honestly? I'd rather she spent some time at home, doing nothing, in front of the tv.

She is looking at scholarships in both academics and sports. MS and HS sports have done a LOT for her. They've given her a place to be competitive physically, they've kept her in shape, they've expanded her circle of friends, and they've expanded her leadership skills.

We're "lucky" in that her Dad is relatively uninvolved, so she has the flexibility to be involved as she is. Sure, I'd rather he was around - and she'd be giving up a lot of what she does. But he's not. That's life.

Sports are not a bad thing.

Stealth2, thank you! Both of my kids are very involved. I demand they get an education above all else. They both work hard at that. Education was something both my ex's and my parent's believe in. I allow the boys to do extracurricular only if they are getting the grade in school. And C's do not cut it.

My ex and I have both agreed that our son is to do that above all and we both discipline him if he doesn't make the grade. If he gets in trouble in school (which is very rare) all take action.

I work in the public school system. I am an assistant librarian. My husband is a English teacher and a coach. We see a lot. We see parents who are there, but are not involved in their kid's education. We have kids who have parents that are not in the picture at all. We have kids where mom or dad is the only ones there.

Trust me, our issue has been or never will be education. We, my ex, my husband and myself, demand the boys get an education. Because you can be the best athlete in the world and when it is over, you better have something to fall back on....and education is the key.

 

[The_Non-Mom]

I'll go with Non-Mom's response, because it was very good.

Doing the got-a-compliment-from-a-senior happy dance!