harassment

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

The word "trap" is so offensive. For edumacated people, y'all sure to have nasty mouths...

Its been proven time and again that when less offensive terms are used, unusually thick persons do not 'get' what is being said to them. Thus, shock at the possibly questionable verbage may prove to help the point stick.
If I had said, keep your mouth shut, would you have even paid attention? if I say KEEP YOUR TRAP SHUT.... does that sound better, probably not, but you get the point, don't you?

 

[moldableman]

You and mom have the kid basically all year, why in the world would you begrudge dad for wanting to add the weekend to his spring break? And really, does missing school the day everyone returns from spring break matter all that much?

Allowing dad more time than the absolute minimum that can be deduced from the court order is one way for mom to show the court that she supports the child's relationship with dad.

I also had a thought about your other thread. The child will less likely have trouble and emotional upset about not calling you dad if you and mom don't seem to be fighting it. And if you and mom are showing her support regarding her relationship with her dad. Feeding the upset is wrong, feeding the solution is not. You and mom need to put your personal feelings about dad to the side.

Disagree because dad does not want to take care of his responsibilities, IE: child support, medical, daycare, blah blah blah, but he wants to stretch his rights to the max.. Due to the scheduling there is no time for family vacations.. Have tried to negotiate, but narcissism is a biznitch.... Please understand that my wife is at the backside of trying to work out issues, and every time she does, she gets hammered with these degrading comments about how bad a mother she is and how dare you put the child in a situation to excel in school..

Here is the dad's position..

Don't want the kid to go to psychologist
Don't want the kid to be in the gifted program at school
Don't want to pay for medical
Don't want to pay for daycare
Don't want to pay for extra curricular activities
Don't want to pay my share of transportation costs, but will take you to court if you interfere
Don't want to negotiate, I just want my visitation and then some

Okay.... Sure, let's get right on that

 

[moldableman]

Its been proven time and again that when less offensive terms are used, unusually thick persons do not 'get' what is being said to them. Thus, shock at the possibly questionable verbage may prove to help the point stick.
If I had said, keep your mouth shut, would you have even paid attention? if I say KEEP YOUR TRAP SHUT.... does that sound better, probably not, but you get the point, don't you?

You would probably be less likely to say that if I were standing in front of you...right. So easy to be tough on a forum..Keep your muzzle shut..dawg

 

[Zephyr]

Disagree because dad does not want to take care of his responsibilities, IE: child support, medical, daycare, blah blah blah, but he wants to stretch his rights to the max.. Due to the scheduling there is no time for family vacations.. Have tried to negotiate, but narcissism is a biznitch.... Please understand that my wife is at the backside of trying to work out issues, and every time she does, she gets hammered with these degrading comments about how bad a mother she is and how dare you put the child in a situation to excel in school..

Here is the dad's position..

Don't want the kid to go to psychologist
Don't want the kid to be in the gifted program at school
Don't want to pay for medical
Don't want to pay for daycare
Don't want to pay for extra curricular activities
Don't want to pay my share of transportation costs, but will take you to court if you interfere
Don't want to negotiate, I just want my visitation and then some

Okay.... Sure, let's get right on that

The money doesn't matter as far as visitation is concerned- people don't have to pay to their kids. The first two can be chalked up to parenting differences.

Why not TRY to be the bigger person?

 

[Isis1]

The money doesn't matter as far as visitation is concerned- people don't have to pay to their kids. The first two can be chalked up to parenting differences.

Why not TRY to be the bigger person?

that's asking to much of the poster. he needs to mark his territory.

OP, all those things listed....means nothing. they can be handled appropriately. through court. that is what court is for. dad disagrees, mom takes him to court so the courts can decide. once she has the courts permission, she can get it done. VERY simple.

 

[moldableman]

The money doesn't matter as far as visitation is concerned- people don't have to pay to their kids. The first two can be chalked up to parenting differences.

Why not TRY to be the bigger person?

Would be glad to over look the latter if he would stop with the harassment and the child quit coming back with emotional and behavioral problems.. Kinda hard to let that go... I, yes even I as the step parent that does not have a say, was on a talking talking basis with dad and even paid his costs of transportation because he was broke. I/we have no problem helping him out when he is reasonable, but he has shut down and become abusive..

 

[Isis1]

and page 2 of....6? 8? 9?

 

[moldableman]

and page 2 of....6? 8? 9?

15****************************.16....

 

[moldableman]

Would be glad to over look the latter if he would stop with the harassment and the child quit coming back with emotional and behavioral problems.. Kinda hard to let that go... I, yes even I as the step parent that does not have a say, was on a talking talking basis with dad and even paid his costs of transportation because he was broke. I/we have no problem helping him out when he is reasonable, but he has shut down and become abusive..

What...no response.. I get your position.. Let dad be a complete ass,get what he wants,not have any obligations, and screw mom, oh yea, an the child.. Got it

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

You would probably be less likely to say that if I were standing in front of you...right. So easy to be tough on a forum..Keep your muzzle shut..dawg

I wouldn't be so quick to say that I would not say it to your face...

Besides, my post was not directed at anyone specifically! Merely defending the use of TRAP when referring to the orafice used to relay verbal communications...

 

[Zephyr]

Would be glad to over look the latter if he would stop with the harassment and the child quit coming back with emotional and behavioral problems.. Kinda hard to let that go... I, yes even I as the step parent that does not have a say, was on a talking talking basis with dad and even paid his costs of transportation because he was broke. I/we have no problem helping him out when he is reasonable, but he has shut down and become abusive..

Look, someone has to stop first- you BOTH are in reactionary mode, someone HAS to change what they are doing in order for the situation to change. YOU are saying you want the the change so why shouldn't that person be you?

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

What...no response.. I get your position.. Let dad be a complete ass,get what he wants,not have any obligations, and screw mom, oh yea, an the child.. Got it

What you aren't understanding is that the only legal obligation he has is the one to pay child support or whatever costs are court ordered. Dad is legally allowed to be a complete whatever-he-wants-to-be as long as it does not endanger the children when they are in his custody. You can't force someone to be a parent, you can't force someone to take their visitation time.... YOU can't force him to do anything. While I feel empathy for the mother for the uncomfortable position his attitude has put her in, I feel worse for the children!

 

[moldableman]

Look, someone has to stop first- you BOTH are in reactionary mode, someone HAS to change what they are doing in order for the situation to change. YOU are saying you want the the change so why shouldn't that person be you?

Because dad never is satisfied. There has been so much give...we just gave out. If things don't go exactly his way, he throws a fit like a baby, and uses the child as a pawn. When she is in his custody, it is hell. He changes days that he says he will allow her to come home, he will not allow anyone to pick the child up except my wife, which is usually not a problem except for the time she had to work, and the time she was eight months pregnant...not so easy to make a fourteen hour trip and docs orders say not to fly. So not only does his decisions effect the child, but they effect MY children, their well being, their safety.. He cannot be satisfied... It is not my responsibility, or my wife's to cater to this guy. Rights are rights. We just want him to stick to his court order...THAT"S IT. We are in a protective mode, not so much as reactionary..

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

Because dad never is satisfied. There has been so much give...we just gave out. If things don't go exactly his way, he throws a fit like a baby, and uses the child as a pawn. When she is in his custody, it is hell. He changes days that he says he will allow her to come home, he will not allow anyone to pick the child up except my wife, which is usually not a problem except for the time she had to work, and the time she was eight months pregnant...not so easy to make a fourteen hour trip and docs orders say not to fly. So not only does his decisions effect the child, but they effect MY children, their well being, their safety.. He cannot be satisfied... It is not my responsibility, or my wife's to cater to this guy. Rights are rights. We just want him to stick to his court order...THAT"S IT. We are in a protective mode, not so much as reactionary.

Aside from the obvious response that there is no WE in this equation, I honestly think this is the first thing you've said that isn't solely based on emotion. From the bolded, please ask THAT question and quit being antagonistic towards the people you are asking help from.

 

[Isis1]

Because dad never is satisfied. There has been so much give...we just gave out. If things don't go exactly his way, he throws a fit like a baby, and uses the child as a pawn. When she is in his custody, it is hell. He changes days that he says he will allow her to come home, he will not allow anyone to pick the child up except my wife, which is usually not a problem except for the time she had to work, and the time she was eight months pregnant...not so easy to make a fourteen hour trip and docs orders say not to fly. So not only does his decisions effect the child, but they effect MY children, their well being, their safety.. He cannot be satisfied... It is not my responsibility, or my wife's to cater to this guy. Rights are rights. We just want him to stick to his court order...THAT"S IT. We are in a protective mode, not so much as reactionary..

when dad is in contempt, mom takes him back to court. and she has to do this. each and every time.