Child's father not allowing medical treatment

[Ohiogal]

I'm going down to the court and filing today. Our case is in his county, so it's about an hour away from where I live.

Is an emergency order different than and Order to Show Cause? I have all my paperwork to file....but I don't want to get all the way down there and file the wrong stuff. I don't have an attorney because I can't afford one. I pay all my daughters doctors medical and child care and i even have to pay her dad child support because he claims to not work. I have her 64% of the time, and he has her 36%, but because his timeshare increased, and he doesn't work they've ordered me to pay child support to him. So, between that and planning my wedding theres nothing left to pay for an attorney. I've gotten some "free" advice from attorneys, but it's completely different when you have one to file and appear in court with you.

How do I file to get infront of the judge and not mediation? We have 2 mediators because after our first mediator ordered her dad to drug testing, 12 weeks of couseling and supervised visits, her dad claimed that the mediator was biased or something was going on with me and the mediator (his words...seriously) So, now we have our original mediator, and his supervisor.

An Emergency order is very different from a Motion to Show Cause. Basically what you want is permission from the court to proceed with surgery even if dad does NOT agree.

 

[novemberbride]

Thank you for all the advice...

There are some other issues that I feel I need to adress with the court....Do I include that with my emergency filing? My daughters surgery is most important, but there are some other things going on with her dad that causes me concern. However, I truly just want to get her surgery taken care of so the poor thing can finally get some sleep.

 

[LdiJ]

Thank you for all the advice...

There are some other issues that I feel I need to adress with the court....Do I include that with my emergency filing? My daughters surgery is most important, but there are some other things going on with her dad that causes me concern. However, I truly just want to get her surgery taken care of so the poor thing can finally get some sleep.

The emergency motion should address only the emergency...the surgery.

 

[novemberbride]

Thanks so much.

On my way to court...wish me luck

 

[Raisingmaddy]

Thanks so much.

On my way to court...wish me luck

Good luck!!!!

 

[novemberbride]

Thanks everyone...

Went and filed today, and had all the right paperwork. Didn't waste hours standing in line to be turned away for the wrong paperwork.

The only thing is they attached temporary orders......The clerk told me they are in effect once the Judge signs them. My petition goes to the Judge tomorrow, and my paperwork is ready on Thursday to be served. So, if I understand correctly, the temporary orders will be in effect on Thursday? The temporary orders state that I have sole legal and physical custody temporarily so my daughter can have her surgery, and recover in one home. I was informed it would be in my daughters best interest to recover at one home, since her father and I live 100 miles apart.

 

[CJane]

Thanks everyone...

Went and filed today, and had all the right paperwork. Didn't waste hours standing in line to be turned away for the wrong paperwork.

The only thing is they attached temporary orders......The clerk told me they are in effect once the Judge signs them. My petition goes to the Judge tomorrow, and my paperwork is ready on Thursday to be served. So, if I understand correctly, the temporary orders will be in effect on Thursday? The temporary orders state that I have sole legal and physical custody temporarily so my daughter can have her surgery, and recover in one home. I was informed it would be in my daughters best interest to recover at one home, since her father and I live 100 miles apart.

Sounds to me like yes, as of Thursday, you have sole legal and physical custody. Dad will be served with the motion after the judge signs it and it has gone into effect. That's how an ex parte works.

How long is recovery supposed to take?

 

[novemberbride]

Recovery is about 2 weeks, sometimes longer, sometimes shorter...depends on the kid.

I asked that the visitation schedule resume as normal once she is recovered. Her dad will be welcome to visit her because she has never gone more than a week without seeing him, and for her best interest, that shouldn't be interrupted. But based on the distance between our houses, it would be a little difficult on her to travel while she's not feeling too good.

However, the judge might enter a different custody order so that this situation is avoided in the future. I've heard that Judges really frown upon hearing cases like this....so I'm a bit nervous..

But.....Really really relieved that I will have orders to present to her surgeon, and she can get well

 

[Isis1]

Recovery is about 2 weeks, sometimes longer, sometimes shorter...depends on the kid.

I asked that the visitation schedule resume as normal once she is recovered. Her dad will be welcome to visit her because she has never gone more than a week without seeing him, and for her best interest, that shouldn't be interrupted. But based on the distance between our houses, it would be a little difficult on her to travel while she's not feeling too good.

However, the judge might enter a different custody order so that this situation is avoided in the future. I've heard that Judges really frown upon hearing cases like this....so I'm a bit nervous..

But.....Really really relieved that I will have orders to present to her surgeon, and she can get well

i can understand your nervousness, but you have just cause for action. i'm almost 99.9% positive, the judge won't be frowning at you, but at dad for being an idiot. yea, i said it.

 

[tornado88]

How do the temporary custody orders work? WIll you have sole physical and legal custody for the two weeks only and then it reverts back to what you originally had or will that be something you will have to go back to straighten out after she is healed?

 

[novemberbride]

So....another question...

Our court order states:

Mother/Father shall be entitled to 7 days each year of uninterrupted time with the child, with no period to exceed 7 days, provided that the other parent has given the other 30 days written notice of their intent to excersize this vacation time and it does not intereferre with regularly scheduled holidays and/or school attendance.

So, dad's regular visitation begins tonight at 6pm until Friday 7pm. He requested his vacation from 10/9 to 10/16. His regular visitation would be from 10/16 to 10/18.

He didn't give me 30 days notice. He claims to have mailed a letter to my parent's house in September. He emailed me on 9/18 asking for this time.

Anyways....the order says "no one period to exceed 7 days". Does that mean his vacation can't be included with his regular visitation.

I just had the cops here.....He wasn't supposed to pick her up until 6pm, but had been calling me since 4:30 harassing me. He called the police on me, claiming I was in contempt.....even though the order says his visitation begins at 6pm.....

I explained to the cops that I understood the order to mean that "no one period to exceed 7 days"...meaning he would forego his visitation, and his vacation would begin on Oct 9th.

They told me to go back to court......which is where I was today.....They were also puzzled as to why he was soo upset when it wasn't 6pm yet.

Anyway...So, I had to turn her over...and I won't see her again until 10/18.

My temporary orders are in effect on Thursday....Does that mean I could get her then?????? I'm so confused**************

Anyone else understand it that way???? "No one period to exceed 7 days".

 

[Ohiogal]

So....another question...

Our court order states:

Mother/Father shall be entitled to 7 days each year of uninterrupted time with the child, with no period to exceed 7 days, provided that the other parent has given the other 30 days written notice of their intent to excersize this vacation time and it does not intereferre with regularly scheduled holidays and/or school attendance.

So, dad's regular visitation begins tonight at 6pm until Friday 7pm. He requested his vacation from 10/9 to 10/16. His regular visitation would be from 10/16 to 10/18.

He didn't give me 30 days notice. He claims to have mailed a letter to my parent's house in September. He emailed me on 9/18 asking for this time.

Anyways....the order says "no one period to exceed 7 days". Does that mean his vacation can't be included with his regular visitation.

I just had the cops here.....He wasn't supposed to pick her up until 6pm, but had been calling me since 4:30 harassing me. He called the police on me, claiming I was in contempt.....even though the order says his visitation begins at 6pm.....

I explained to the cops that I understood the order to mean that "no one period to exceed 7 days"...meaning he would forego his visitation, and his vacation would begin on Oct 9th.

They told me to go back to court......which is where I was today.....They were also puzzled as to why he was soo upset when it wasn't 6pm yet.

Anyway...So, I had to turn her over...and I won't see her again until 10/18.

My temporary orders are in effect on Thursday....Does that mean I could get her then?????? I'm so confused**************

Anyone else understand it that way???? "No one period to exceed 7 days".

Good grief. LET the child go on vacation with her father. Schedule the surgery for the 19th. Yes dad is a horrible horrible person for taking 10 days. Got it. Good. Okay? But if you fight over something as petty as that or an hour or whatever then it is constant war for a lifetime. Learn to breathe. Let the LITTLE things go and dont' make everything a war.

The surgery is a WAR. The vacation time is relatively minor and petty at this juncture. Take him for contempt if you must on that issue but seriously, learn what to let go and what to battle about it.

 

[novemberbride]

Temporary orders denied pending hearing.....

It's being heard in mediation at the end of this month. Mediation is good.

My daughter's surgeon won't reschedule her surgery unless Dad says it's ok, or I have an order either stating I have sole legal custody, or I have the final word on our daughter's medical care.

Does it help my case any more if I am the one who carries medical insurance for our daughter?

And, when we do go to mediation, should I bring other information relating to our daughters health with me? Or is what I put in my filing the only thing they'll read? I've been there plenty of times...sometimes they read stuff...other times they don't.

I just want to prepare myself.....

 

[MichaCA]

Per the surgeons' request, but you DO have the papers now for temporary sole custody, right? (or you will tomorrow - I'm confused) so can't he just accept those, if you take the papers to his office?

Do you know when they can schedule the operation? I was curious if it will interfere with dads' vacation time.

As far as his vacation time, I am guessing dad is trying to attach his visitation to his vacation on BOTH ends, unless he stated that the time AFTER his 7 days he will forgo. From what you have said how dad acts so far, I would not be suprised if he is just ignoring the "no longer than 7 days" clause.

Bring that up in mediation and your papers, as to why dad chose to NOT inform you of his intention of tacking on his regular visitation time to his 7 day vacation period. Request that in the future, it is up to him to notify you of his vacation period according to the court order guidelines.

With the medical stuff, I would make copies of all the information, and have it in your legal declaration as attachments. Also bring it for yourself.

Whenever daughter does come home from the operation, make sure you get a clear time line for how long the recovery should take, and get that in writing.

I have to say, unless your ex makes some serious changes, I suspect he will end up losing some custody as he sounds incredibly volatile and self-seeking. And for all of that, NOT ONCE have you said a bad word about him. Amazing.

 

[MichaCA]

OK, ignore me, got it.

Still, whatever you think pertinent to the medical decisions, attach it. I am kind of bummed they denied the temporary order, BUT maybe you can have a tentative schedule for the operation set up with the doctor so its not some long wait after court end of the month? I would ask for statements from the medical offices that dad got crazy with and have those attached also to your papers. Be sure the mediator gets that dads' behavior has made things difficult.