Please help!!! I cannot take anymore of this!!

[ecmst12]

Well he's not going to get sole physical or legal, but he might get primary physical if she doesn't have a place to live, especially if she wants to take the kids out of state and won't have the means to pay for long-distance visitation.

 

[Jetpilot]

if your only option is to hire a nanny, you have to prove mom is unfit. and from the looks of it, you leave the children with her for 24hour periods. so, how do you prove HER unfit without making you look just as unfit?

Well she is fit because she has my financial support. Once she has no place to go and no money then she will be unfit.

 

[Jetpilot]

Well he's not going to get sole physical or legal, but he might get primary physical if she doesn't have a place to live, especially if she wants to take the kids out of state and won't have the means to pay for long-distance visitation.

That is what I seek. Primary physical. She may have child support if kids stay with her but she can't support herself. Never married so no alimony. She has lived with two other men since we split.

 

[Isis1]

Well she is fit because she has my financial support. Once she has no place to go and no money then she will be unfit.

wow. you re going to look real pretty in front a judge. and she might surprise you, she might actually get a place.

 

[ecmst12]

FITNESS has nothing to do with where she is living or whether she is working or earning any income besides your support. FITNESS has to do with whether she is a danger to your children, which obviously she is not, since she cares for them on a regular basis on her own while you are away for work and you don't seem concerned about their welfare...you just don't want her living on your couch anymore (can't blame you for that) and don't want to let her take your kids 2000 miles away from you because that's the only place she thinks she can get to live (also understandable).

 

[Jetpilot]

FITNESS has nothing to do with where she is living or whether she is working or earning any income besides your support. FITNESS has to do with whether she is a danger to your children, which obviously she is not, since she cares for them on a regular basis on her own while you are away for work and you don't seem concerned about their welfare...you just don't want her living on your couch anymore (can't blame you for that) and don't want to let her take your kids 2000 miles away from you because that's the only place she thinks she can get to live (also understandable).

Yes that's it. She does care for the kids and she does love them. This is between me and her. I want her out of my space! I also I realize she will be part of my life but on my couch? That's pushing it. I haven't been able to move on and have a relationship with anyone else because of her. Reasons are obvious!

 

[ecmst12]

As long as you recognize that she won't be your free daycare anymore after you kick her out, and as long as you're not going to try to keep her from visiting with the kids on a normal NCP schedule, I think you have a chance. You might need to work on the whole treating mom with respect thing though, badmouthing her in court won't get you ANYWHERE. Remember, it's not about you or her, it's about the KIDS. Number one focus is them, everything else is a DISTANT second.

And hey, maybe it would be the kick in the pants she needs to get her butt off the proverbial couch and learn to support herself. If she's the NCP, then your support payments will go way down if you have to keep paying at all, and she won't have the excuse of needing to take care of the kids preventing her from getting a job. Then again, maybe not, seems like some women can always find another guy to pay their bills for a while....but I do like to hope for the best sometimes

 

[Jetpilot]

As long as you recognize that she won't be your free daycare anymore after you kick her out, and as long as you're not going to try to keep her from visiting with the kids on a normal NCP schedule, I think you have a chance. You might need to work on the whole treating mom with respect thing though, badmouthing her in court won't get you ANYWHERE. Remember, it's not about you or her, it's about the KIDS. Number one focus is them, everything else is a DISTANT second.

And hey, maybe it would be the kick in the pants she needs to get her butt off the proverbial couch and learn to support herself. If she's the NCP, then your support payments will go way down if you have to keep paying at all, and she won't have the excuse of needing to take care of the kids preventing her from getting a job. Then again, maybe not, seems like some women can always find another guy to pay their bills for a while....but I do like to hope for the best sometimes

Oh no I am prepared to do what I can for 24hr care for the kids while I am away. I won't deny her the kids. Lawyer already stated that even with child support she would not be able to provide stable environment. Primary, physical would be in the bag. But I have to wait until i get the house don't I?

 

[wileybunch]

Moving would be a natural break because you would not give her a key to your new place, but you don't have to wait for that. You would have to go through giving her the same notice any tenant is required to be given in your locale. And, for that matter, if you try to move to new place and assume she will just get out of your current place -- technically she could continue to squat there until she's evicted. You technically have to give her notice in the current residence. Maybe you should post this on the appropriate forum for landlord-tenant questions.

 

[ecmst12]

Yeah if you don't want to wait for your move you could end up having to evict her in housing court if she won't move voluntarily....are you SURE that's something you want to try to tackle? It would cause even more animosity between the two of you then there already is and will be when you file for custody, is that worth it?

 

[stealth2]

Oh no I am prepared to do what I can for 24hr care for the kids while I am away. I won't deny her the kids. Lawyer already stated that even with child support she would not be able to provide stable environment. Primary, physical would be in the bag. But I have to wait until i get the house don't I?

No lawyer can guarantee a result. You'd be wise not to start counting your eggs just yet.

 

[gr8rn]

. Lawyer already stated that even with child support she would not be able to provide stable environment.

Based on what? Because she is currently living on your couch? What does your attorney know that you have not said here, because I don't see how your attorney can make that statement. and good luck finding 24 hour care that will be available for pilot hours. Not going to be easy. And you seem to be so gleeful about planning on your strategy for kicking this woman out of your house, the woman who gave birth to your children, the woman YOU CHOSE to mother your kids.

I am a little surprised that this has not already been said, but this is the woman you chose to be the mother of those kids and you are totally trashing her for what reason? that she is living on your couch? Perhaps she wants to be anywhere that her kids are, not necessarily that she is on YOUR couch.

OH, oh oh, and the "fat sloth squatter" comment??? She is the MOTHER of your children. The woman you wanted so badly that you had her do it TWICE. (give birth to YOUR kids) How dare you be so cold and callous to the mother of your children. I hope you don't use those comments in front of the CHILDREN!!!

 

[gr8rn]

Oh and another thing. I know a little about the airline industry. I have several family members in the industry and I have lived in a community of airline pilots, flight attendants, and other airline employees. Pilots and flight attendants are gone for days at a time. Of the perhaps 20 families that I know personally that have gone through divorce, not one pilot has gotten custody because of his work schedule. I know of flight attendants with 50-50 they have exes with regular jobs and they split time based on flight attendants schedules. But the pilots? tell me don't you have that what is it called "on call" or something? that at a moments notice you can be called to fly across the country? It will NOT be easy for you to find someone to work with your schedule. Perhaps you should help that fat sloth squatter a little help her get on her feet NICELY and maybe she will work with you on the custody issue. I pray that fat sloth finds a pilot to MARRY and gets a really goood attorney. guess who would get primary custody THEN!!!!

 

[Jetpilot]

Oh and another thing. I know a little about the airline industry. I have several family members in the industry and I have lived in a community of airline pilots, flight attendants, and other airline employees. Pilots and flight attendants are gone for days at a time. Of the perhaps 20 families that I know personally that have gone through divorce, not one pilot has gotten custody because of his work schedule. I know of flight attendants with 50-50 they have exes with regular jobs and they split time based on flight attendants schedules. But the pilots? tell me don't you have that what is it called "on call" or something? that at a moments notice you can be called to fly across the country? It will NOT be easy for you to find someone to work with your schedule. Perhaps you should help that fat sloth squatter a little help her get on her feet NICELY and maybe she will work with you on the custody issue. I pray that fat sloth finds a pilot to MARRY and gets a really goood attorney. guess who would get primary custody THEN!!!!

Obviously you havent read the entire thread. I have been nice for over 5 years!!!!! I did not have to help her with school tuitions for courses she did not finish on several ocassions. Paid for her moves to Iowa and Indiana (Indiana being a move to live with another guy) Bought her a means of transportation to get employment in Iowa. Paid car insurance too along with a cell phone so I would have an uninterrupted link to my boys. After Iowa I pay to move her back to Iowa at my expense because he dumps her. This is with the kids btw.

No job since 2004 so supported financially every step of the way. Kids hated being in Iowa because her mother had a very abrasive personality and kids got frightened by her. My mother decided to take her in and help her out so she can get back on her feet. It was an easier commute for me also since I had to fly in on days off from Tennessee to see my boys. After 3 years and another failed attempt for her to complete any kind of formal education still no job nor independence. By this time she could have had a Masters online based on the time she spends on her computer.

Once again I move her out of my mother's ( 74 years old mind you) She moves into another man's house for a year and gets booted from there. Until the last move I was working my @ss off living like a gypsy renting rooms and commuting to see my kids making 17-24000 a year as a regional pilot. I finally gained employment at an airline with better income and not until 2008 I could afford a place of my own and have a room for my kids.

So while she was with this man he even paid for some kind of training or education for her and she did not finish. Just talk talk talk. We split time with kids by way of my schedule. Mind you I am off up to 14 days a month and it worked out pretty well. The days I would have to work I TOLD HER repeatedly that if it conflicted with her work schedule I would finance any kind of sitter of after care for boys. Still nothing.

NOW she gets dumped by man nbr 2 and resides on my couch. IS THAT FAIR TO ME? IS THAT FAIR FOR THE KIDS? Now put yourself in my shoes!! I HIGHLY DOUBT YOU WOULD HAVE DONE ANY OF THIS!!!! Think before you spew your dribble.

I apologized for my insult (but you did not read that either.) All of this was done from the kindness of my heart FOR HER. THE KIDS ARE A NO BRAINER. THEIR SUPPORT I WILL DO AND CONTINUE TO DO WITH NO HESITATION. SO DON'T EVEN BRING THEM INTO THIS. I WOULD DIE FOR MY BOYS.

I figured more than 5 years of assistance is enough. NOT TO MENTION ALMOST 6 YEARS OF MY LIFE THAT I WILL NEVER GET BACK! I HAVE GONE ABOVE AND BEYOND FOR HER. YOU WOULDN'T HAVE EVEN COME CLOSE IF YOU WERE IN MY SHOES.

As I write this I hear her snoring on my couch because she was up all night again.

BTW, you know nothing about airline industry "ON CALL" OR ANYTHING ELSE and I don't care to explain it to you. FLIGHT ATTENDANTS ARE ON CALL TOO WHICH EXPLAINS EVEN MORE IGNORANCE ON YOUR PART.


SHUT UP AND COLOR!

 

[Jetpilot]

Since she is here and I want to avoid confrontation until I move is there any documentation that I can file with the court to keep them from being taken to Iowa?