Please help!!! I cannot take anymore of this!!

[Isis1]

Since she is here and I want to avoid confrontation until I move is there any documentation that I can file with the court to keep them from being taken to Iowa?

you need to file with the court for visitation/custody with the court. and request a restriction on the children being removed outside the county until further ordered by the courts.

 

[CJane]

you need to file with the court for visitation/custody with the court. and request a restriction on the children being removed outside the county until further ordered by the courts.

He's going to have a really difficult time getting primary custody of the kids. Why? Because currently MOM is their primary caregiver. Yes, it's in HIS house, but SHE is providing the care so that HE can work.

His schedule makes being primary parent virtually impossible. Add to that he's a PILOT and can go just about anywhere in the country for his time off, and a geographical restriction is highly unlikely as well.

 

[Jetpilot]

he's going to have a really difficult time getting primary custody of the kids. Why? Because currently mom is their primary caregiver. Yes, it's in his house, but she is providing the care so that he can work.

His schedule makes being primary parent virtually impossible. add to that he's a pilot and can go just about anywhere in the country for his time off, and a geographical restriction is highly unlikely as well.

JUST because I am a pilot does not give her the right to take my kids 2000 miles away. EVEN WITH CHILD SUPPORT SHE CANNOT SUSTAIN A STABLE ENVIRONMENT FOR THE KIDS. SHE HAS PROVED THAT ALREADY.

Off time travel is stand-by or space available so its not guaranteed. Please if you don't know 100% on what you are talking about when it comes to my job OR time off please KEEP YOUR IGNORANCE TO YOURSELF.

So by me providing full time nanny care to the kids would make primary impossible? I don't want to take the kids away from her. I JUST WANT HER OUT OF MY SPACE!!!!!!

 

[CJane]

That is not accurate. My time off is in base which is where I live. What you say is true but only for Cargo pilots. I am not a Cargo pilot. I get up to 14-16 days off at home. Not on call, OFF!!!

You're off around 1/2 the month. I'm willing to bet that's not in a row. You CANNOT BE the primary custodial parent when you have no one to care for the children when you're working (and you've stated there's no family to help you) and Mom is fit to provide care. BEST CASE, you get a schedule that allows you to see the kids when you're off, and is close to 50/50, but that's unlikely w/out Mom's agreement.

You're not going to get an order that forces Mom to sit around waiting for you to have time for the kids.

She may be the primary care giver but that is only because I have to bear the burden of 100% financial support. If she was working and independent there would not be a problem here.

And that's 100% irrelevant in court. It's no different than a married woman being a stay at home Mom so that her husband can work a wonky schedule. There's no way in H*ll you can afford a nanny, or even a place w/enough room for a nanny, or you'd already be doing that. So Mom might be financially dependent upon YOU, but you are dependent upon HER as well.

You can yell at me all you want, but all that history? It matters not. You still leave the kids with her for days at a time while you're working. She's fit. End of story.

 

[CJane]

just because i am a pilot does not give her the right to take my kids 2000 miles away. Off time travel is stand-by so its not guaranteed. Please if you don't know 100% on what you are talking about when it comes to my job, time off please don't mention it.

You came HERE for advice. You don't like what you're hearing, and I get that. But getting snarky with US isn't going to help YOU.

Go into court. Tell them that Mom is the primary caregiver for the children, and that you travel 50-55% of the time, but would like to have primary custody and a nanny to care for the children when you're not around.

Then, tell them that IF mom is granted primary custody, you'd like to have her restricted to FL because if she moves, you'll have to fly standby to see the kids.

Let us know how that works out for you.

 

[Isis1]

He's going to have a really difficult time getting primary custody of the kids. Why? Because currently MOM is their primary caregiver. Yes, it's in HIS house, but SHE is providing the care so that HE can work.

His schedule makes being primary parent virtually impossible. Add to that he's a PILOT and can go just about anywhere in the country for his time off, and a geographical restriction is highly unlikely as well.

i said until further order of the court...

i don't think he stands a chance in haedes to be the primary parent.

 

[Proserpina]

JUST because I am a pilot does not give her the right to take my kids 2000 miles away. EVEN WITH CHILD SUPPORT SHE CANNOT SUSTAIN A STABLE ENVIRONMENT FOR THE KIDS. SHE HAS PROVED THAT ALREADY.

Off time travel is stand-by or space available so its not guaranteed. Please if you don't know 100% on what you are talking about when it comes to my job OR time off please KEEP YOUR IGNORANCE TO YOURSELF.

So by me providing full time nanny care to the kids would make primary impossible? I don't want to take the kids away from her. I JUST WANT HER OUT OF MY SPACE!!!!!!

What's with the attitude? YOUR ignorance is showing, not Cjane's. YOU need to understand what actually makes a parent unfit...it's not your definition.

 

[Jetpilot]

You're off around 1/2 the month. I'm willing to bet that's not in a row. You CANNOT BE the primary custodial parent when you have no one to care for the children when you're working (and you've stated there's no family to help you) and Mom is fit to provide care. BEST CASE, you get a schedule that allows you to see the kids when you're off, and is close to 50/50, but that's unlikely w/out Mom's agreement.

You're not going to get an order that forces Mom to sit around waiting for you to have time for the kids.



And that's 100% irrelevant in court. It's no different than a married woman being a stay at home Mom so that her husband can work a wonky schedule. There's no way in H*ll you can afford a nanny, or even a place w/enough room for a nanny, or you'd already be doing that. So Mom might be financially dependent upon YOU, but you are dependent upon HER as well.

You can yell at me all you want, but all that history? It matters not. You still leave the kids with her for days at a time while you're working. She's fit. End of story.

Jane you're an idiot. I DON'T WANT TO PROVE SHE IS UNFIT, I KNOW SHE'S NOT. Don't tell me what I can and cannot afford. I am bound by a lease until July and pending a purchase of a home. I may be dependent now considering my logistical circumstances but when the house comes then no.

 

[Jetpilot]

what's with the attitude? Your ignorance is showing, not cjane's. You need to understand what actually makes a parent unfit...it's not your definition.

OMG!!!! another one!! I am not trying to prove she is unfit!!!! I dont want sole custody. I RECOGNIZE SHE CARES AND LOVES THE KIDS!!!!! I NEVER DEBATED THAT! SHE IS UNABLE TO SUPPORT HERSELF FINANCIALLY LET ALONE THE KIDS!! LOVE DOESN'T PAY THE BILLS! FRANKLY I WILL BE HAPPY TO PAY HER CHILD SUPPORT BUT FOR HER TO LIVE WHERE? SHE CAN'T EVEN AFFORD THE GAS TO DRIVE 2000 MILES AWAY.

I want her to live her own life and we share time with the kids. I HAVE TRIED TIME AND TIME AGAIN TO HELP HER GET ON HER FEET. SHE HAS NOT DONE IT IN ALMOST 6 YEARS!!

I want her out of my space!!!!!! I WILL TAKE A LEAVE TO MAKE SURE I GET FULL TIME CARE FOR THEM BECAUSE SHE WILL BE HOMELESS WHEN I GET THE HOUSE. READ THE THREAD BEFORE YOU OPEN YOUR HOLE!! OMG!

 

[Proserpina]

OMG!!!! another one!! I am not trying to prove she is unfit!!!! I dont want sole custody. I want her to live her own life and we share time with the kids. I want her out of my space!!!!!! That does not mean 2000 miles away. READ THE THREAD BEFORE YOU OPEN YOUR HOLE!! OMG!

Stellar example of a rational parent. Seriously.

 

[profmum]

Lawyer already stated that even with child support she would not be able to provide stable environment. Primary, physical would be in the bag.

This arrogance and attitude is going to bury you in court. And how do I know this because every person who responded to your post has had extensive experience with the family court system, either as an officer of the court or through their own personal situations. And while no outcome is ever gauranteed, some attitudes and expectations like your's are very predictive of outcome you may not want. Drop the arrogance.

 

[Jetpilot]

Stellar example of a rational parent. Seriously.

Oh yeah with a join date of March 2009 and 7500 posts you have a life. What was I thinking? Seriously!

 

[Jetpilot]

This arrogance and attitude is going to bury you in court. And how do I know this because every person who responded to your post has had extensive experience with the family court system, either as an officer of the court or through their own personal situations. And while no outcome is ever gauranteed, some attitudes and expectations like your's are very predictive of outcome you may not want. Drop the arrogance.

I did not say that. The lawyer did. But you're advice is noted.

 

[Antigone*]

Oh yeah with a join date of March 2009 and 7500 posts you have a life. What was I thinking? Seriously!

shut up and color...

...before you open your whole


I'd say we are getting pretty close to the steel-toed boots coming out.

Baileys and cream anyone

 

[Jetpilot]

To sum up:

Once out of this apartment and into a larger home. Mind you that the only reason I am in this apartment to begin with is because she lived with her boyfriend a few miles away until she was thrown out. I got this place to be close to my kids.

Once at new home:

1 I will have full time care of kids while at work. (Nanny or Au-pair)
2 Provide food, shelter, clothing, healthcare, education etc.. for kids as I always done since birth.



My soon to be homeless ex will get primary because I am a pilot.

Is this what I am up against? What would you have done if you were in my shoes?