Who's to say that she's being raised to think it's the cost of the clothes she wears that indicates her worth as a person. Maybe it's about the quality and the style. I'm not saying dad's right here, but that's where it is with me. I'd rather have my child wear good quality, stylish clothing and I have yet to find an outfit at Target I'd send him to school in or let him come to my job in. Play and get sweaty at the park in? Maybe. At the point where I can find Macy's quality clothing at Target, I'll revisit my viewpoint.
And I'll tell ya - I've gotten low quality clothing from Macy's, Nordstrom's, etc. Just because they sell it doesn't make it high quality. And, honestly? With the way kids grow, it doesn't make sense to me to pay a lot for something that will be outgrown in the space of a couple of months, if not less.
And that's why you're much more a better parent that I am... because I'm not doing it.
As far as I'm concerned, if it's not a permanent thing? It's not the biggest problem I could have to deal with. Those things that ARE permanent? We talk about, I explain why I won't allow it while s/he is a minor, but that there will come a point when s/he can make that choice for him/herself - and I hope they will be mature enough to consider the long-term effects of the choice.
Hair, eyeliner, and black clothes? SO not a big deal. Skinny jeans? Same. The teen years are a time of life, IMO, for figuring out who you are. I would much prefer my kids to experiment with their looks than get involved with drugs, drinking, or sexual experimentation. At the end of the day? They are still the same wonderful people inside. As an added bonus, they get to find out how it feels to have people judge you for how you look. It tends to make them a bit more open to others who may look different from them - whether in terms of clothing, skin color, disability, orientation, etc. I've found it makes them more accepting of people's worth - despite their appearance.
And I can tell you that #1 lost friends for his choices. Kids who said he was gay, emo, a pussy, weird, a dweeb, a geek, etc. He also kept one friend who told his Mom (a friend of mine) that he didn't care what the other kids said - #1 was a stand-up guy, and someone you could count on. The rest simply didn't matter. And #1 has become someone who looks past the outer layer to look at the person within. That's something I'm proud of.
I have no problem going to the grocery store in a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, if that's the only place i'm going. I've got a pair on now and I'm doing laundry, cleaning the house and later I'm going to the market (but I'm also going to do my hair and throw on some lip gloss) - but I wouldn't stop by anyone's house. My dad was very persnickety about his children looking like anything going outside. I guess it just stuck.
Diff'rent strokes. I figure that, if people like *me*? They'll like me in my hang-about-the house clothes as much as they do in my "fancy" clothes. I can go from the stuff I wear at the barn to opera-ready evening step-out-the-door attire in less than 20 minutes. I clean up good.