Non-biological and not legal parent?

[Banned_Princess]

How do I adopt a child if I'm not the child's stepparent or the domestic partner of the child's parent?

It depends. There are three types of adoptions when you are not the spouse or domestic partner of the child's parent:

Agency adoption: when the Department of Social Services or a licensed adoption agency is part of the adoption case.

Independent adoption: when no adoption agency or the Department of Social Services is part of the adoption case.

International adoption: when the child to be adopted is born in another country.
Remember, if you are not married to the child's birth parent or you are not the child's parent's domestic partner, you have to do an agency, independent or international adoption. If you are a single person trying to adopt, you also have to do an agency, independent or international adoption.

http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/selfhelp/family/adoption/stepadoptqna-1.htm#3

there you go. totally possible.

 

[Proserpina]

Nice to see the OG Effect alive and kickin' on a Sunday in California.

 

[Proserpina]

http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/selfhelp/family/adoption/stepadoptqna-1.htm#3

there you go. totally possible.

Dad is not legally unfit.
Mom is not legally unfit.

The ONLY way this adoption is going to happen is if BOTH parents consent.

 

[Banned_Princess]

Dad is not legally unfit.
Mom is not legally unfit.

The ONLY way this adoption is going to happen is if BOTH parents consent.

There you go then. if both parents consent, step mom can adopt without being step mom anymore.

 

[cyjeff]

Nice to see the OG Effect alive and kickin' on a Sunday in California.

Amazing, isn't it?

 

[Proserpina]

Amazing, isn't it?

Truly.

Ain't Cali just wonderful?

 

[Ray82]

Truly.

Ain't Cali just wonderful?

I still don't know what OG effect is... if it has to do with people asking questions and argueing until they are blue in the face while throwing out new facts that most would of said up front until they hear what they want then I get it.

If not, enlighten me as it's said often on a number of threads.

 

[Proserpina]

I still don't know what OG effect is... if it has to do with people asking questions and argueing until they are blue in the face while throwing out new facts that most would of said up front until they hear what they want then I get it.

If not, enlighten me as it's said often on a number of threads.

Close-ish.

I'm quoting directly from another awesome senior member:

"It almost never fails: OP asks for advice, gets the unvarnished truth from Ohiogal, OP gets in a snit and claims all the trouble has suddenly disappeared and the sun is shining once again. This is a scientific phenomenon, and it should be called The OG Factor."

Basically, they don't like what they're told and then come back with "Oh YEAH?? Well I talked to a lawyer just now at 1:00 in the morning on a Sunday and HE said you guys are all stupid and wrong and I'm right"


(And you'd be astonished at how many attorneys are working, judges are ruling and courts are in session at midnight on July 4th.....)

 

[cyjeff]

Close-ish.

I'm quoting directly from another awesome senior member:

"It almost never fails: OP asks for advice, gets the unvarnished truth from Ohiogal, OP gets in a snit and claims all the trouble has suddenly disappeared and the sun is shining once again. This is a scientific phenomenon, and it should be called The OG Factor."

Basically, they don't like what they're told and then come back with "Oh YEAH?? Well I talked to a lawyer just now at 1:00 in the morning on a Sunday and HE said you guys are all stupid and wrong and I'm right"


(And you'd be astonished at how many attorneys are working, judges are ruling and courts are in session at midnight on July 4th.....)

In one notable case, this happened in such a way where the OP told us that they had just filed some emergency issue... on a national holiday.

Of course, the Oggy Effect is fairly rare... most just never come back after they realize that all the mean people here are actually...

Wait for it....

Right on target with what we say.

 

[LdiJ]

Still does not make her mom.


Can you cite a case that has happened in, I am very interested in reading why this was done.

I could cite a case, but I really cannot because the people are personal family friends of mine and I am not comfortable being responsible for putting their personal lives on the net.

However, it was a Colorado case. Mom and dad legally separated and filed for divorce. One child was his, one child was just hers but was born after they were together and just weeks before the marriage. The judge ruled that he was the primary caregiver and the psychological dad of the child, and gave him primary custody. Actual biological dad was unknown.

Shortly after that his wife was killed in a car accident, and the maternal grandma challenged him for custody and lost.

Then, grandma snatched the child in Louisiana and after a long battle lost again.

Then, grandma attempted to snatch the child in Indiana and after a battle lost.

Then, after recovering from over 100k in legal fees he was finally able to adopt the child...but still spent another 50k fighting against gpv. Naturally dad wasn't willing to give grandma unsupervised visitation since she pulled one snatch and attempted another.

Therefore three states ruled that he was the child's psychological father and should have custody.

I have also seen some cases on forums like these where a stepparent has been given custody as a psychological or defacto parent. Most involved either a biological parent that was deceased or where the biological parent had left the child with the stepparent/former stepparent for significant amounts of time. In all cases the other biological parent was completely out of the picture for one reason or another....mostly either never identified or deceased.

 

[stealth2]

I think you should calm down sparky.

Mom might give up her rights, dad might want his daughter adopted by OP, she is defacto parent, judge might agree to the adoption if no one objects.

Maybe dad wants to do the right thing, and let his daughter live with her, and visit with her instead, so his lifestyle can continue unabated.

OR maybe OP is just trying to make them look bad (other posters) by saying something that isnt so true.

you cant just say "aint gonna happen" because stranger things have in fact happened.

And really, B_P? You should zip it yourself. If Dad wouldn't allow OP to adopt when they were happily married, he's unlikely to do so now that they're getting divorced.

And OP? YOU have NO right to withdraw that child from the school she is in. It's time for you to sit down and shut up.

 

[ihatepillows]

So you are saying that you talked to the man you are divorcing AND your attorney on a Sunday afternoon and they both decided that you should become the legal parent of the child?

And that HE was unfit?

Good luck with that in court.

If you would've read the situation, the real mother isn't in the picture. You think we haven't tried digging up dirt on my husband? Well we have. Apparently, he has been physical and has had issues with the children who are no longer in the house and has gone to counseling. Did I know this? No. For 12 years of marriage and open to understanding, he doesn't tell me things and I'm the bread winner in this relationship. Specifically why I'm divorcing him. But that's irrelevant.

After gathering this evidence, YES, I have talked to my attorney and my husband and we have brought up the situation. Technically, his child is going through the paperwork of finding a better fit home since it has been observed he is unfit. I am filling out my own paperwork for that position.

Don't need luck in the court.

 

[LdiJ]

And this is regarding everyone. I have just talked to my husband and my lawyer with a very convincing argument. Turns out he IS unfit to take care of her with his financial mess and record. I'm going through the paperwork of adopting her now.

If your husband has agreed, and the biological mother's rights were terminated, its possible an adoption can happen...however, don't assume that dad won't change his mind.

Also, seeing as she can accept Christians and they can't accept her, hence the bullying, I am pulling her out of that school ASAP.

Be careful...until dad signs the paperwork its not a done deal.

As for him getting older and attaching himself to his beliefs, he is. I listen to the types of things my daughter wants to do in the future and make sure they are available to her to earn. I've been open to my husband for years, compromising and accepting his drug charges, in and out of the home, abandonment of his child, and jail time. He wanted an open marriage and I didn't want to. I didn't stop him when he slept with other people against what we compromised. You can only be accepting and open for so long before you realize this has nothing to do with two people as a couple. Hence why I'm divorcing him.

End of story. Thanks to the one person I mentioned who actually gave any helpful feedback.

Again, until dad signs the paperwork its not a done deal. Don't make any assumptions or get anyone's, particularly the child's hopes up.

 

[ihatepillows]

As for everyone else, I no longer have anything further to say as my situation is looking better in my favor.

And as for new evidence, I don't need someone to enlighten me on my full situation, I know that. I wanted opinions on what I should do based on the basic knowledge of child custody since I has no full grasped my leeway. As almost all of you have been unhelpful except the few who has actually given me options.

 

[Proserpina]

I don't think you understand how difficult it is to prove a parent unfit. I mean the LEGAL definition of "unfit parent".

If he's unfit, surely CPS have been involved, correct?

And there is proof of wrongdoing?

And yes - you'll need all the luck you can muster. You are not in a strong position at all.

(Frankly I don't think you have a snowball's chance in Hades - but I'm trying to be positive)