Revisiting Visitation and change in schedule

[MrJenkins]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? OH/PA

We are around 180 miles apart and my visitation schedule currently is 1 month a weekend and split summers. We haven't addressed holidays as my extended family is non-existent and I have been allowed to visit her for our own "holiday" on my weekend visit.

I finally have the opportunity to move into the same city as our kid/CP. I am making this move at the beginning of the year. Will this be a change of circumstance to revisit visitation and request every other weekend/one night a week. kiddo is not in school or daycare as CP still lives with her parents (don't see that changing anytime soon).

What should I do to prepare myself. I have talked to CP about the plans and she won't even address the fact and keeps saying "we have a schedule that works fine"

Does the fact that I will live closer give me the chance to increase visitation. I did all the driving and had the sole cost of transportation/lodging for my visits. I never argued because my main goal was to be able to spend time with our kid and arguing over money seemed to cause a hang up that wasn't worth it to me.

Our distance apart is going to be around 15 mins by car, although I have been looking at places that could be same school district/5 mins apart. Due to our disagreements, I didn't want to stir the pot by moving so close, unless that will help me possible get 50/50 visitation.

One note: My job will allow me to work from home and I can make my own schedule. Will that benefit me in anyway to have more time?

Thanks

 

[WittyUserName]

Just to clarify - are you looking to actually change the custody situation, or just get more visitation time?

 

[MrJenkins]

Just to clarify - are you looking to actually change the custody situation, or just get more visitation time?

I am trying to increase it from the one weekend a month schedule I am on now to every other weekend plus one day during the week due to the fact I will be residing 15 or less instead of 3.5 hours.

I don't think I have joint legal custody right now either. I think that is something I should obtain since I will be more active and want to be consulted on decisions and I would like joint custody instead of visitation.

sorry, I think is the term I am looking for

 

[acmb05]

I am trying to increase it from the one weekend a month schedule I am on now to every other weekend plus one day during the week due to the fact I will be residing 15 or less instead of 3.5 hours.

I don't think I have joint legal custody right now either. I think that is something I should obtain since I will be more active and want to be consulted on decisions and I would like joint custody instead of visitation.

sorry, I think is the term I am looking for

Moving to within 15 minutes of the child I would think you have a good chance at every other weekend and one (or more) overnights a week.

 

[WittyUserName]

The reason I ask is that asking for more visitation time doesn't necessarily require the same change in circumstance that a custody change would.

And I ask this as gently as possible - you seem unclear as to the current custody situation. Why is that? In reading your previous posts, you had a hearing last fall, and it looked like you had an attorney. What happened with that? (You don't have to give a lengthy detailed explanation; I'm just wondering if the hearing was so recent why you're not sure.)

 

[NorthDakotaStep]

If dad is so close and can modify his schedule what about a ROFR? (Right of First Refusal)

 

[Antigone*]

If dad is so close and can modify his schedule what about a ROFR? (Right of First Refusal)

Where in this post does the OP indicate that there is someone else taking care of his child while he is available?

It's like asking for a screwdriver and being handed a wrench

 

[MrJenkins]

Where in this post does the OP indicate that there is someone else taking care of his child while he is available?

It's like asking for a screwdriver and being handed a wrench

you're right anti-

this is not an issue of someone taking care of my child when I am available (as I am not currently)

and I pulled out my information from the hearing. I currently have joint legal custody with CP have sole physical custody. I am suspecting that is due to our distance. I had a visitation schedule that allowed me one weekend a month and 6 weeks in the summer. I gave up my alternate holidays as I don't have an extended family and I don't celebrate holidays as much as the CP, so in the best interest of our kid, and the fact the CP is very big on holidays, I was fine with celebrating on my visitation time even though it didn't line up with the actual holiday dates.

Now that I am moving closer, I am trying to get it changed from sole physical custody to joint physical custody since I am closer and I am trying to increase my time from once a month a 6 weeks in the summer, to maybe a more standard visitation schedule that hopefully includes me having every other weekend and some time during the week.

Essentially, I would be willing to do what it takes in order to have 50/50 but also understand that is a very slim chance. I packed up my life and took a paycut (even though that wont effect CS) to be closer so I am trying to increase my involvement in their life

 

[WittyUserName]

Here's the thing - you'll have to prove a change of circumstance in the life of the child to go for joint physical. To get more time with the child without a change in custody is relatively easier, as you don't need a change in circumstance.

If the end goal is more time with the child, which you could probably get without making changes to the custody situation, and you already have joint legal - what's the rationale for moving to joint physical custody? In light of the very recent nature of your current order, I question whether joint physical would be worth the expense and hassle you'd be likely to incur.

 

[Proserpina]

you're right anti-

this is not an issue of someone taking care of my child when I am available (as I am not currently)

and I pulled out my information from the hearing. I currently have joint legal custody with CP have sole physical custody. I am suspecting that is due to our distance. I had a visitation schedule that allowed me one weekend a month and 6 weeks in the summer. I gave up my alternate holidays as I don't have an extended family and I don't celebrate holidays as much as the CP, so in the best interest of our kid, and the fact the CP is very big on holidays, I was fine with celebrating on my visitation time even though it didn't line up with the actual holiday dates.

Now that I am moving closer, I am trying to get it changed from sole physical custody to joint physical custody since I am closer and I am trying to increase my time from once a month a 6 weeks in the summer, to maybe a more standard visitation schedule that hopefully includes me having every other weekend and some time during the week.

Essentially, I would be willing to do what it takes in order to have 50/50 but also understand that is a very slim chance. I packed up my life and took a paycut (even though that wont effect CS) to be closer so I am trying to increase my involvement in their life

I think you have a great chance of getting more parenting time. But a change in custody (versus parenting time) will be much harder for you since this will require a change in their circumstances (not yours).

 

[MrJenkins]

Here's the thing - you'll have to prove a change of circumstance in the life of the child to go for joint physical. To get more time with the child without a change in custody is relatively easier, as you don't need a change in circumstance.

If the end goal is more time with the child, which you could probably get without making changes to the custody situation, and you already have joint legal - what's the rationale for moving to joint physical custody? In light of the very recent nature of your current order, I question whether joint physical would be worth the expense and hassle you'd be likely to incur.

is there really a difference in visitation vs joint physical custody?
I honestly don't know what the difference is.

In the end, my goal is just to have more time since I am closer now and I just want to be able to be more involved.

The CP has pretty much tried to keep me out of the loop and replace me with her bf, so it's always been an uphill struggle to visit with our kid.

Basically, she will not allow me to have anything outside of a court order, so that's why it's so important to me.

It's funny, with all the fathers out there trying not to be part of their kids lives, I am trying my hardest and getting rejected. Overall, her issue isn't with me being a good/bad parents, as opposed to her hang ups with me as a result of our splitting

 

[WittyUserName]

is there really a difference in visitation vs joint physical custody?
I honestly don't know what the difference is.

In the end, my goal is just to have more time since I am closer now and I just want to be able to be more involved.

The CP has pretty much tried to keep me out of the loop and replace me with her bf, so it's always been an uphill struggle to visit with our kid.

Basically, she will not allow me to have anything outside of a court order, so that's why it's so important to me.

It's funny, with all the fathers out there trying not to be part of their kids lives, I am trying my hardest and getting rejected. Overall, her issue isn't with me being a good/bad parents, as opposed to her hang ups with me as a result of our splitting

Visitation time is absolutely enforceable in court, so if you ask for and are granted more time by a judge Mom could be held in contempt for not making the child available for your ordered time.

Joint physical custody means that essentially each parent's home is considered the child's residence. It does not mean that the child will spend 50% of each time at each home. (Common misconception.) I don't know, in your case, if joint physical's going to make a huge difference. Mom is clearly difficult, and not all that invested in a good working relationship. So I'm still wondering if going back to court and going through a long and expensive process to modify to joint physical would be worth it.

But I agree with Proserpina; getting more parenting time with the child would be a far easier process and you have excellent chances there. Good for you for moving closer to your child.

 

[LdiJ]

Visitation time is absolutely enforceable in court, so if you ask for and are granted more time by a judge Mom could be held in contempt for not making the child available for your ordered time.

Joint physical custody means that essentially each parent's home is considered the child's residence. It does not mean that the child will spend 50% of each time at each home. (Common misconception.) I don't know, in your case, if joint physical's going to make a huge difference. Mom is clearly difficult, and not all that invested in a good working relationship. So I'm still wondering if going back to court and going through a long and expensive process to modify to joint physical would be worth it.

But I agree with Proserpina; getting more parenting time with the child would be a far easier process and you have excellent chances there. Good for you for moving closer to your child.

I even have a different perspective on this. I would recommend that you abandon any idea of any change in custody, for NOW, and focus solely on getting a modification of visitation that reflects the new distance between homes...ie every other weekend and one night a week.

Then, after THAT has been status quo for a while (at least a year or more) THEN reconsider the idea of trying to get joint physical custody. I think that you will get your increased time with your child faster that way.

 

[CJane]

I'ma go look it up, but MANY states do not require a change in circumstances in order to change from SOLE custody to JOINT custody. Of course, we'd have to know what state the order is from, since OH/PA isn't an actual state.

However, in practice, it makes virtually no difference whether physical custody is joint or sole. The point is time with kiddo, and that is (generally speaking) independent of "physical custody".

 

[WittyUserName]

PA is where the custody order is; OH is where CS was filed. Apparently.

https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/confused-dad-needs-help-447807.html

(And thanks for the clarification. It really does seem like a nebulous definition, the difference between types of physical custody.)