Mom won't return child...

[CourtClerk]

I am going to tell dad to hire an attorey, You and Court Clerk are both behaving badly here.

Me?!?!?! How? By asking you to expound on YOUR advice? You don't like being put on blast, do you?

What's more, I know that you are all about the best's interest's of the child, so you backing up the CC's position is just you playing games.

All you had to do is answer my question. Why have you found that so hard. With all the "bad behavior" you're trying to call out... you could have just answered the question. Why is that so hard, Ld? Just why? It's your advice, surely you know how to go about doing something you suggested dad do.

What's the problem?

 

[gasgirl]

Extreme Measures

So, while the forum has been tearing each other to shreds...

Dad took off in his car. While driving, Dad had 3-way conversation with COPS who were at the house with the mom, and dad had faxed the current order to the Desk Sergeant, proving we have custody AND that mom was to have daughter home by 5pm.

Mom said, "F$%* You". Direct Quote. Cop called desk sergeant and they said that, because the child was in no immediate physical danger, he could not remove the child, and it wasn't his job to figure out which was the real court order.

So, I got on the phone with daughter's friend, who called mom's house (landline), playing dumb, and asking to talk to daughter. He told daughter to sneak out of house, go to nearest store and call us collect. We alerted the uncle (who lives 15 miles away).

She did sneak out, called us, and the uncle was on his way to get her.

Apparently mom discovered she was gone, and is raising holy hell, trying to get uncle arrested for attempted kidnapping, and police are holding daughter who claimed she would kill herself or run away again if she was sent back. The cops say she is hysterical (and believe me, this is the most mellow kid I know). Apparently mom is agreeing to let dad take her now. He gets there in an hour.

The coup de gras? Apparently sex-offender boyfriend did not register new address when he moved 2 months ago...cops used that to leverage mom's cooperation. (apparently they will "forget that they even saw the boyfriend")

In addition, husband got cell number of atty from another atty we know- Our atty is filing motion to suspend any more visitation by mom on Monday.

 

[gasgirl]

Repercussions?

I'm sure mom will try anyway, but are there any charges mom can bring against dad or me for our part in encouraging child to run away?

Currently, I don't think she knows we got the friend to pass the instructions, but after she stews over the events of the last 24 hrs, mom will certainly figure it out, or suspect this was our handywork.

 

[Isis1]

While I am sad to hear the child was encouraged to defy her parent, I am glad dad went and got something done. And I am a little icky about the whole letting the sex offender slide. Anyway someone could make a call to someone's parole officer.

Can dad head down to the police station and get an incident report? He needs one. If the police officer won't write one up, speak to his/her commanding officer. Keep going up and get a copy of that report.

When dad files, request a GAL.

And sorry about the whole off display of seniors slashing each other. This isn't always normal.

 

[Isis1]

I'm sure mom will try anyway, but are there any charges mom can bring against dad or me for our part in encouraging child to run away?

Currently, I don't think she knows we got the friend to pass the instructions, but after she stews over the events of the last 24 hrs, mom will certainly figure it out, or suspect this was our handywork.

Well, it might depend. Was this other child under 18? Were the child's parents in on it? Could it be proven?

 

[gasgirl]

Yes, the Atty already called Police for copy of reports (well-check and runaway).

Please look up my previous threads- this mother and her boyfriend are dangerous. The child is 16, and we have NEVER discouraged her from a relationship with her mother, but when child calls and says she is being struck by mom, the boyfriend kicked in a door, and is being threatened...and I see "HELP ME!" posted on her Facebook...well, we had to do something.

This is not some tempermental teen: she has awesome grades, is taking 3 AP College classes online, and will be graduating high school a year early. She is in Beta Club, International Club, Key Club and Volleyball and Track Team. So I have to believe her when she says her relationship with her mom is unsalvageable....

By all means read prior posts: this so-called mother even tried to tell this girl that my husband wansn't her father- that the SEX OFFENDER was her real father. Imagine the horror for this child (she was 13 then) to have to wait for DNA test results. This woman is evil and deserves the relationship with her daughter that she has-she created this.

And the friend is 16, and no HIS parents knew nothing.

 

[stealth2]

Yeah.... In alphabetic order ONLY (!) - CC, Ldi & OG... Seriously? If you need to prove your "manhood" ('cause that's what it's looking like despite you all being ladies)? The pissing tree is out the door and to the left. Go figure out who has the bigger stream and then let it go. You're all just making yourselves look foolish. Let it go.

 

[luvisabattle]

I'm so sorry you and your family are going through this and am glad that your step-daughter has you and your husband to pick up the pieces.

I cannot believe the police were not more interested in solving the problem especially when the boyfriend is a sex offender.

Good luck to you -

 

[gasgirl]

Thanks. Guess this is word to the wise. I am shocked the cops weren't more helpful.

So many on this site belittle the Step-Parents who choose to take on the responsibility of caring for children and loving them as their own.

I get the fact that I am a"legal stranger" to my step-kids, but in reality I am the first one they come to when they are hungry, hurt, scared, happy, excited and proud! I am the one who, 50% of the time chauffers, feeds, bathes, clothes and cares for them...

AND all 4 of my kids (step and biologic) wear wedding rings to symbolize our commitment to each other as a family. For me to "stay out" of a situation that endangers them because I am not the "parent" is silly. I know my legal position, but I will always be there with my arms open next to dad.

 

[acmb05]

Yes, the Atty already called Police for copy of reports (well-check and runaway).

Please look up my previous threads- this mother and her boyfriend are dangerous. The child is 16, and we have NEVER discouraged her from a relationship with her mother, but when child calls and says she is being struck by mom, the boyfriend kicked in a door, and is being threatened...and I see "HELP ME!" posted on her Facebook...well, we had to do something.

This is not some tempermental teen: she has awesome grades, is taking 3 AP College classes online, and will be graduating high school a year early. She is in Beta Club, International Club, Key Club and Volleyball and Track Team. So I have to believe her when she says her relationship with her mom is unsalvageable....

By all means read prior posts: this so-called mother even tried to tell this girl that my husband wansn't her father- that the SEX OFFENDER was her real father. Imagine the horror for this child (she was 13 then) to have to wait for DNA test results. This woman is evil and deserves the relationship with her daughter that she has-she created this.

And the friend is 16, and no HIS parents knew nothing.

While i am by no means an advocate for children to run away, I do think in this situation getting out of that house was a number one priority. However they very well could have arrested the Uncle had he picked the child up and hid her from the parent and the police.

I am just glad she is safe now. The police should have done something. When a child says they will kill themselves if they are taken back to a parent there are serious problems going on there.

 

[Proserpina]

The police should have done something. When a child says they will kill themselves if they are taken back to a parent there are serious problems going on there.

Quite often, yes.

But sometimes it's nothing more than a blatant attempt at manipulating BOTH parents into catering to the child's whims.

Jes' sayin'.

 

[acmb05]

So, while the forum has been tearing each other to shreds...

Very sorry about that. That kind of nonsense should not be going on in someone's thread.

Dad took off in his car. While driving, Dad had 3-way conversation with COPS who were at the house with the mom, and dad had faxed the current order to the Desk Sergeant, proving we have custody AND that mom was to have daughter home by 5pm.

This was a good idea. I hope he also has a copy on him.

Mom said, "F$%* You". Direct Quote. Cop called desk sergeant and they said that, because the child was in no immediate physical danger, he could not remove the child, and it wasn't his job to figure out which was the real court order.

He is correct in that situation. It is a civil matter and should be taken up in the courts. On the other hand the police should have taken the daughter off alone to talk to her and not in front of the parent.

So, I got on the phone with daughter's friend, who called mom's house (landline), playing dumb, and asking to talk to daughter. He told daughter to sneak out of house, go to nearest store and call us collect. We alerted the uncle (who lives 15 miles away).

She did sneak out, called us, and the uncle was on his way to get her.

Not the best idea in the world but I understand why you did it this way.

Apparently mom discovered she was gone, and is raising holy hell, trying to get uncle arrested for attempted kidnapping,

There is a possibility he could have been arrested.

and police are holding daughter who claimed she would kill herself or run away again if she was sent back. The cops say she is hysterical (and believe me, this is the most mellow kid I know). Apparently mom is agreeing to let dad take her now. He gets there in an hour.

This is good and I am also glad to know he will be filing to stop visitations immediately.

The coup de gras? Apparently sex-offender boyfriend did not register new address when he moved 2 months ago...cops used that to leverage mom's cooperation. (apparently they will "forget that they even saw the boyfriend")

I find this just appalling for the police to do this. He should have been arrested on the spot. I personally would be contacting his PO first thing in the morning.

In addition, husband got cell number of atty from another atty we know- Our atty is filing motion to suspend any more visitation by mom on Monday.

That is good news and hopefully he gets it.

 

[acmb05]

Quite often, yes.

But sometimes it's nothing more than a blatant attempt at manipulating BOTH parents into catering to the child's whims.

Jes' sayin'.

I understand that but the police should be trained to spot this kind of behavior. Especially with what they know had been happening for the last several hours.

 

[Proserpina]

I understand that but the police should be trained to spot this kind of behavior. Especially with what they know had been happening for the last several hours.

We expect police to gauge the difference between genuine suicidal ideation and a teen who is pitching one parent against the other?

 

[acmb05]

We expect police to gauge the difference between genuine suicidal ideation and a teen who is pitching one parent against the other?

In this particular case yes I would. They are required to do it when it is an adult. If an adult tells a police officer they are going to harm themselves it is the police officers job to make sure that does not happen. Whether that be by arresting them and putting them on a 72 hour hold or whatever way they can. I think with what all has gone on that the police knew about with this child in the hours leading up to this point they darn sure should have recognized that there was something wrong in that household and that it was not just her trying to pit one parent against another.