what rights do I have as the father of an unborn child?

[brucemoon17]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
Texas

my former girlfriend (we were never married) is planning on keeping me out of the loop about our unborn daughter. I was wondering if she's allowed to keep the due date a secret and not tell me when she goes into labor. Can she keep me from going to the hospital when the baby is born? Can she name the baby whatever she wants without my consent? Can she prevent me from seeing and holding my baby at the hospital on the day of her birth?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[justalayman]

you have no rights to anything until it is proven you are the father. It is that simple. You have no right to know the due date, the condition of the child, or when she goes into labor.

Can she keep me from going to the hospital when the baby is born?

she can't keep you from going to the hospital but she can keep you from entering her room, contacting her, or anything else where you would have contact of any sort with her.

Can she name the baby whatever she wants without my consent?

absolutely

Can she prevent me from seeing and holding my baby at the hospital on the day of her birth?

absolutely. Until you are legally established as the father, you are not the father and have absolutely no rights concerning the child.

 

[brucemoon17]

so what steps should I take, and how long before I will get to see my child?

 

[stealth2]

The best shot you have is by playing nice with your ex.

 

[PQN]

Be pro-active

Register with the Texas Paternity Registry. File for dna/custody/visitation/support when the baby is born. At that time you can also file for a modification of the babies last name (not guarenteed you'd get the name change, possibly a hyphenated version with both last names).



"Paternity Registry" Statutes: Tex. Fam. Code Ann. sec. 160.251 et seq.


Forms are available from hospitals, birthing centers, licensed child-placing agencies, county and district clerks, and the Bureau of Vital Statistics (see following address).


Return form to:
Bureau of Vital Statistics
Texas Department of Health
1100 West 49th
Austin, TX, 78756
Tel: 1-888-963-7111, ext. 7782 or 512-458-7782

 

[InfantCustody]

As the presumed father, you have NO RIGHTS until the court gives them to you. Mom can not tell you anything, because you are a stranger. You cannot access medical records, the child's medical records, the hospital, or the child at the hospital. Mom can name the child anything she wants...

All of this was debated to it's death in one of my threads below...

https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/baby-born-friday-all-communication-father-has-fallen-apart-528907.html

Your best option is to try to work WITH MOM and create a parenting plan for an infant...establish what child support will be, and how you all will work together for your daughter.

My son is 11 weeks and my ex has just started seeing him regularly in the last 3 weeks...which is in large part because of his actions. He has started working with me and we both agree it is in the baby's best interest to see Dad regularly pending court in several months. We started with visits in my home until 2 months and now he has him 6 hours, two times per week. I am breastfeeding, but can pump for those visits. No one is perfect...but "You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar." is reaaaallllyyy the truth. That is the best advice I can give you as a Mother who is on the opposite side of your situation.

I would recommend you file for the establishment of custody, support and visitation as soon as the baby is born. The can take anywhere from 3 months (if you live in a small, quiet town and are really lucky) to 9+ months (if you live in a big, divorcing city.) depending on mediation, etc. That is the best way to protect everyone.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
Texas

my former girlfriend (we were never married) is planning on keeping me out of the loop about our unborn daughter. I was wondering if she's allowed to keep the due date a secret and not tell me when she goes into labor. Can she keep me from going to the hospital when the baby is born? Can she name the baby whatever she wants without my consent? Can she prevent me from seeing and holding my baby at the hospital on the day of her birth?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Yes, she can do all of that. You have to file in court to establish paternity and establish your rights as a father.

 

[cyjeff]

As the presumed father, you have NO RIGHTS until the court gives them to you. Mom can not tell you anything, because you are a stranger. You cannot access medical records, the child's medical records, the hospital, or the child at the hospital. Mom can name the child anything she wants...

All of this was debated to it's death in one of my threads below...

https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/baby-born-friday-all-communication-father-has-fallen-apart-528907.html

Your best option is to try to work WITH MOM and create a parenting plan for an infant...establish what child support will be, and how you all will work together for your daughter.

My son is 11 weeks and my ex has just started seeing him regularly in the last 3 weeks...which is in large part because of his actions.

Wrong. 100% wrong.

He is seeing his child because he has legally established his right to do so. You judgment of his behavior means absolutely nothing.

If a father establishes paternity and files for visitation, that visitation is not ... not even a little... dependent upon the mother's opinion of that father and/or his actions and if he is worthy of visiting his own child.

If the father has NOT legally established his rights to his child, then he is a moron to be putting up with this whole "you need to prove to me that you have been good enough this week to see your child" crap.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

infantcustody hasn't been to court yet.

 

[cyjeff]

infantcustody hasn't been to court yet.

I saw that... but to even PRETEND that the father of the child has to jump through some hoop to see his own child is reprehensible.

Mom doesn't have to jump through hoops... neither does dad.

If she wanted a man to be worthy of caring for her child, the time to do that was before conception.

Now, she can, legally, deny visitation... but the judge will not look favorably upon that decision.

Or these conditions.... or his penalties if he doesn't live up to mom's standards.

 

[acmb05]

As the presumed father, you have NO RIGHTS until the court gives them to you. Mom can not tell you anything, because you are a stranger.

Sorry but mom can tell him anything she wishes to tell him. He can't make her do it but if she wants to she can.

You cannot access medical records, the child's medical records, the hospital, or the child at the hospital. Mom can name the child anything she wants...

Unless of course mom has a change of heart and allows it.

All of this was debated to it's death in one of my threads below...

https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/baby-born-friday-all-communication-father-has-fallen-apart-528907.html

Your case is a lot different.

Your best option is to try to work WITH MOM and create a parenting plan for an infant...establish what child support will be, and how you all will work together for your daughter.

Actually his best option is to file for paternity when the child is born and do everything through the courts. Playing nice with mom apparently is not an option at this time and leaves all decisions on when he can see his child(if it's his) up to mom.

My son is 11 weeks and my ex has just started seeing him regularly in the last 3 weeks...which is in large part because of his actions. He has started working with me and we both agree it is in the baby's best interest to see Dad regularly pending court in several months. We started with visits in my home until 2 months and now he has him 6 hours, two times per week. I am breastfeeding, but can pump for those visits. No one is perfect...but "You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar." is reaaaallllyyy the truth. That is the best advice I can give you as a Mother who is on the opposite side of your situation.

As I said your case id different. The child's dad was being a jerk and in this case so far we don't know what the reason are that mom is acting this way.

I would recommend you file for the establishment of custody, support and visitation as soon as the baby is born. The can take anywhere from 3 months (if you live in a small, quiet town and are really lucky) to 9+ months (if you live in a big, divorcing city.) depending on mediation, etc. That is the best way to protect everyone.

He can actually get the process started now before the child is born and have the test ordered to be done as soon as the child is born.

 

[stepmom4ever]

I saw that... but to even PRETEND that the father of the child has to jump through some hoop to see his own child is reprehensible.

Mom doesn't have to jump through hoops... neither does dad.

If she wanted a man to be worthy of caring for her child, the time to do that was before conception.

Now, she can, legally, deny visitation... but the judge will not look favorably upon that decision.

Or these conditions.... or his penalties if he doesn't live up to mom's standards.

What's your problem? WHy are you so angry at infantcustody? Why do you guys think "marriage" is the answer to everything....appearantly not if this board is filled with people who are, have, or aregetting a divorce....please... Infantcustody can do what she wants until the COURTS determine the rights of the father...Ya'll get on my nerves with that crap....Infantcustody can do what she damn well please UNTIL THE COURTS DECIDE! just like the assumed father can do what he damn please and act foolish most times

 

[stepmom4ever]

Sorry but mom can tell him anything she wishes to tell him. He can't make her do it but if she wants to she can.


Unless of course mom has a change of heart and allows it.

Your case is a lot different.

Actually his best option is to file for paternity when the child is born and do everything through the courts. Playing nice with mom apparently is not an option at this time and leaves all decisions on when he can see his child(if it's his) up to mom.

As I said your case id different. The child's dad was being a jerk and in this case so far we don't know what the reason are that mom is acting this way.



He can actually get the process started now before the child is born and have the test ordered to be done as soon as the child is born.

He has to first know when the child is born in order to do that...and appearantly mom is not telling him that

 

[liandrajade]

What's your problem? WHy are you so angry at infantcustody? Why do you guys think "marriage" is the answer to everything....appearantly not if this board is filled with people who are, have, or aregetting a divorce....please... Infantcustody can do what she wants until the COURTS determine the rights of the father...Ya'll get on my nerves with that crap....Infantcustody can do what she damn well please UNTIL THE COURTS DECIDE! just like the assumed father can do what he damn please and act foolish most times

Um, you are bit out of line, legally yes Mom does not have to do anything but morally...that's a different story. I am quite far from perfect myself however hon, you need to take a step back here and bring back the venom. Seriously.

If more people would take a step back and act like in the best interests of the children and stop thinking about their wounded egos and bruised self esteem, then married or not, no one would need the courts involved period.

 

[acmb05]

What's your problem? WHy are you so angry at infantcustody? Why do you guys think "marriage" is the answer to everything....appearantly not if this board is filled with people who are, have, or aregetting a divorce....please... Infantcustody can do what she wants until the COURTS determine the rights of the father...Ya'll get on my nerves with that crap....Infantcustody can do what she damn well please UNTIL THE COURTS DECIDE! just like the assumed father can do what he damn please and act foolish most times

Go to sleep, you need the rest. No one said marriage is the answer to everything. What cyjeff is saying is that you or any other mothers feelings toward the father of the child should have no bearing on whether the father gets visitation.

If dad goes through the courts and establishes custody and visitation rights, then whether you like it or not he gets to see the child. Whether he is a complete ass to mom has no bearing on that fact. He can get visitation then refues to even speak toyou and there is not a thing you can do about it.