Hi,
I think all of the replies that I have received here are good! I agree that we do need co-parenting and I am signing up for those classes that start in January today!
I agree that it was not the end of the world to feed her the sweet potatoes. I called the doctor on a day that the office was closed so there was no way of getting a note. I talked to the doctor on call. When I called her father to relay the message of, not only a bland diet, but, "NO VEGETABLES or FRUITS", which includes sweet potatoes as vegetables, he said ok to that...he never said he didn't believe me, he never said that he would like to call the doctor to verify, he never asked for proof or a note. All of that was after the fact. These were doctors instructions. She said, "dont give her any vegetables or fruits right now until the diarrhea runs it's course, only give her formula and rice cereal and pedialyte about 2oz at a time (which she would not drink anyways when I tried to give it to her).
I went to the doctors office with our daughter as soon as he told me he needed doctors orders before feeding her what I relayed to him which was told to me by the doctor. The doctor told me it wasn't necessary for me to come into the office which can actually bring her around more germs unnecessarily.
I called her father's phone and when the girlfriend answered I only wanted to know what she had eaten and when so I could go by that to know what time to feed her next and what to feed her next. I didn't think there would be an argument.
Later when I spoke with her father he said that she was screaming, would not stop crying, would not take a nap with him, they even drove around. He admitted that she would not take a bottle, she would not eat rice cereal (which he has never fed her before, but I wrote a long note with directions on how to make it so he knew how, so it wasn't that he didn't know how to make it). He didn't even believe me when I told him she loves rice cereal, which she eats with me daily. He said that he gave her the sweet potatoes because that is all she would eat. The girlfriend told me over the phone that they were all having lunch and she seemed like she wanted to eat too, so they fed her sweet potatoes while they were all eating. She also said that she had eaten a bottle a little before that. So I think her father was just covering up for forgetting about feeding her a certain way...or something like that.
When my daughter was born there was meconium that they thought she might have swallowed or inhaled. She was on a respirator when born and had all sorts of tubes going into her. She has an allergy to milk proteins. She cannot have Similac formula. She has to have Nutramigin formula. She was diagnosed with acid reflux when born and until recently her formula was to be mixed with rice cereal so she has had rice cereal in her formula since she was born. Very small amount though. It goes for a 7 oz bottle, 6 oz of water, 3 scoops formula, 3 - 1/2 teaspoons of rice cereal. She was taking Zantac but she seems to have outgrown all of the acid reflux so she has been off of it for about a month and 1/2 now.
Her father feeds her his mashed potatoes all the time. They contain milk. He sees no harm in this. I don't think it is the end of the world but I am extremely cautious with her foods. She is my first child. I just don't want to risk something bad happening out of spite on his part or out of anger at me. It just seems careless.
This is her usual schedule for eating...
8am - 7 oz of formula
11am-12pm - 3-4tbsp of rice cereal mixed with 2-3 oz of formula and 1/2 tub some sort of fruit mixed with oats or cereal
3-4pm - 7 oz of formula
6-7pm - 1 jar sweet potatoes (this truly is the only vegetable she will eat!), 1 jar apples and blueberries
(If we are out at a restaurant I will give her one more jar of a different type of fruit because she wants to chew while we are chewing!)
10-11pm - 7 oz bottle (2 oz of this is used to make 3 tbsp of rice cereal), so basically a 5 oz bottle and 3 tbsp of rice cereal
Then it's story and bed time.
On another note, her father lives in an apartment that he is never at anymore. He had 2 homeless people living there and he said they were paying him rent. It was an older man and his 12 year old son. They were staying in her nursery in his apartment. He says they are gone but their things are still there so I don't believe him. Her nursery looked trashed the last time I saw it. Looks like he doesn't really use it for her at all anymore with all the things lying around in there. It looks more like a storage room.
He is always at his girlfriends. Starting January 11 he will have overnight visits. I am worried about where she will sleep at his girlfriends if that is where he will be staying. He says that he will stay at his apartment unless he can buy a new crib before the over nights start. She rents a 3 bedroom 1 bath home and has 2 boys of her own. One 4 and one 7 years old. I think she also has a roommate because when I drop Cora off or pick her up over there there is another girl there usually. His girlfriends house is a complete wreck and she says its because she has 2 boys. (I believe that!) In our order it states that if any living arrangement changes then he has to notify me 30 days prior. He has given me notice of him moving in there with his girlfriend but...he has changed that over and over again. He goes back and forth.
Wow...ok I have written too much now but I thought I would put it out there and get some responses.
Let me know what you all think and let me know what I can do about keeping my daughter safe, happy and healthy!
Thanks!