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Visitation Modification

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EmmeRose

Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Minnesota
(This is my G/f's account that she is letting me use to ask my question)

My ex-wife barely lets me see my daughter. She lives about 6 hours away from me as I am going to a cheaper college here in North Dakota. Our divorce was finalized when both of us were living in Minnesota so visitation is set for me being able to see her every other weekend. Even when I was living in Minnesota, about 5 miles away from her, she never let me see my daughter, always making excuse after excuse. Well, I am sick of it all. I have talked to lawyers and all have wanted ridiculous amounts of money to just change visitation. My ex-wife and I talked about this and she told me to type up a visitation schedule so we can discuss it. I did a lot of research with other states visitation schedules and came up with this:

Visitation modification for ________, daughter of _______ and ______.
The Father, ________, shall have the right to have visitation with his daughter, __________ as follows:

Every Sixth weekend, visitation shall begin on Friday at 6pm and will end on Sunday at 6pm.

Each parent shall have 5 weeks of summer parenting time. A week is defined as 6pm from date of pickup until 6pm 7 consecutive days later. The summer parenting time shall be provided by each party on or before May 1st of that year. In odd numbered years, the Mother, shall have the first choice of summer parenting time. In even numbered years, the Father, shall have the first choice of summer parenting time. The summer period shall begin the Monday after school lets out and shall end the Friday before school resumes.

During Even years, the Father shall have visitation on Spring Break vacation from 6pm Saturday until the following Saturday at 6pm.

During Odd years, the Father shall have visitation on Thanksgiving Vacation from 6pm Wednesday until Sunday at 6pm.

During Even years, the Father shall have visitation beginning December 24 at 6pm and ending January 2nd at 6pm.

At any other reasonable times when the Father is in the town that his Daughter resides in, the Father shall give at least 48 hours notice for permission to visit her. This type of visitation shall last no more than 24 hours in duration unless more is allowed by the Mother.

Visitations may be made at other such times as agreed upon by both the Mother and Father.

Both the Father and the Mother will split transportation costs as already stated in the divorce papers, under Conclusions of Law, number Three, Parenting Time.

Both the Father and the Mother will meet half-way in ________ to pick up and drop off their daughter when the visitation resides in ____________.

The Father shall have the right of Telephone visitation every Tuesday between the hours of 7pm and 8pm with his Daughter at the Father’s expense. The Mother shall not interfere with the Telephone conversation during the said hour.

The Father shall also have the right of Skype Webcam visitation every Saturday between the hours of 7pm and 8pm with his Daughter. The Mother and Father will both need to purchase and maintain their own webcams along with having adequate internet access. The Mother shall not interfere with the Skype Webcam conversation during the said hour.

Each parent shall keep the other informed of the primary residence and telephone number where their daughter resides or visits as stated in the divorce papers under Conclusions of Law, Number 4, Access to Information.


Well, all she wrote back was. "I am not agreeing to this at all. I don't know your g/f nor do I trust her. I will not allow my daughter to leave this state and I will NEVER allow you to have her meet your g/f."
Now does anyone have any suggestions on what is wrong with this schedule? If someone else has an out-of-state schedule, is this completely out of the question? And another thing, can she really keep from having visitation because I live with my girlfriend? I never gave her "permission" for my daughter to see her b/f, so why should I have to get permission for my daughter to see my g/f? My daughter even calls her mother's b/f daddy because she was asked to. Any suggestions on a whole new set up of the visitation schedule would be great.
I work part-time (75% of my pay check goes to CS. I end up making less than a $200 a month. My rent is just from student loans.) plus go to school full time so money is really tight for me. Thank you.
 


Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Dont like that plan. Why not the second weekend of every month? That way you see your child once a month. The rest is fine.

Mom is an idiot. go to court and sue for visitation. But how did you divorce her without a visitation schedule being included? And if one was included, have you exercised it?
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
Dont like that plan. Why not the second weekend of every month? That way you see your child once a month. The rest is fine.

Mom is an idiot. go to court and sue for visitation. But how did you divorce her without a visitation schedule being included? And if one was included, have you exercised it?
OP said: " so visitation is set for me being able to see her every other weekend. "

If that's a court order, you have to go to court to sue for contempt rather than for a new visitation schedule. If it's not a court order, then do as OG says and file for visitation.
 

CJane

Senior Member
OP said: " so visitation is set for me being able to see her every other weekend. "

If that's a court order, you have to go to court to sue for contempt rather than for a new visitation schedule. If it's not a court order, then do as OG says and file for visitation.
If there's a possibility of Mom and Dad agreeing on a new schedule, then no contempt needs to be filed. They can just file a stipulated agreement to modify and be done with it.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
OP said: " so visitation is set for me being able to see her every other weekend. "

If that's a court order, you have to go to court to sue for contempt rather than for a new visitation schedule. If it's not a court order, then do as OG says and file for visitation.
Missed that statement. Thank you. If I were OP I would be following the CURRENT COURT ORDER.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Minnesota
(This is my G/f's account that she is letting me use to ask my question)

My ex-wife barely lets me see my daughter. She lives about 6 hours away from me as I am going to a cheaper college here in North Dakota. Our divorce was finalized when both of us were living in Minnesota so visitation is set for me being able to see her every other weekend. Even when I was living in Minnesota, about 5 miles away from her, she never let me see my daughter, always making excuse after excuse. Well, I am sick of it all. I have talked to lawyers and all have wanted ridiculous amounts of money to just change visitation. My ex-wife and I talked about this and she told me to type up a visitation schedule so we can discuss it. I did a lot of research with other states visitation schedules and came up with this:

Visitation modification for ________, daughter of _______ and ______.
The Father, ________, shall have the right to have visitation with his daughter, __________ as follows:

Every Sixth weekend, visitation shall begin on Friday at 6pm and will end on Sunday at 6pm.

Each parent shall have 5 weeks of summer parenting time. A week is defined as 6pm from date of pickup until 6pm 7 consecutive days later. The summer parenting time shall be provided by each party on or before May 1st of that year. In odd numbered years, the Mother, shall have the first choice of summer parenting time. In even numbered years, the Father, shall have the first choice of summer parenting time. The summer period shall begin the Monday after school lets out and shall end the Friday before school resumes.

During Even years, the Father shall have visitation on Spring Break vacation from 6pm Saturday until the following Saturday at 6pm.

During Odd years, the Father shall have visitation on Thanksgiving Vacation from 6pm Wednesday until Sunday at 6pm.

During Even years, the Father shall have visitation beginning December 24 at 6pm and ending January 2nd at 6pm.

At any other reasonable times when the Father is in the town that his Daughter resides in, the Father shall give at least 48 hours notice for permission to visit her. This type of visitation shall last no more than 24 hours in duration unless more is allowed by the Mother.

Visitations may be made at other such times as agreed upon by both the Mother and Father.

Both the Father and the Mother will split transportation costs as already stated in the divorce papers, under Conclusions of Law, number Three, Parenting Time.

Both the Father and the Mother will meet half-way in ________ to pick up and drop off their daughter when the visitation resides in ____________.

The Father shall have the right of Telephone visitation every Tuesday between the hours of 7pm and 8pm with his Daughter at the Father’s expense. The Mother shall not interfere with the Telephone conversation during the said hour.

The Father shall also have the right of Skype Webcam visitation every Saturday between the hours of 7pm and 8pm with his Daughter. The Mother and Father will both need to purchase and maintain their own webcams along with having adequate internet access. The Mother shall not interfere with the Skype Webcam conversation during the said hour.

Each parent shall keep the other informed of the primary residence and telephone number where their daughter resides or visits as stated in the divorce papers under Conclusions of Law, Number 4, Access to Information.


Well, all she wrote back was. "I am not agreeing to this at all. I don't know your g/f nor do I trust her. I will not allow my daughter to leave this state and I will NEVER allow you to have her meet your g/f."
Now does anyone have any suggestions on what is wrong with this schedule? If someone else has an out-of-state schedule, is this completely out of the question? And another thing, can she really keep from having visitation because I live with my girlfriend? I never gave her "permission" for my daughter to see her b/f, so why should I have to get permission for my daughter to see my g/f? My daughter even calls her mother's b/f daddy because she was asked to. Any suggestions on a whole new set up of the visitation schedule would be great.
I work part-time (75% of my pay check goes to CS. I end up making less than a $200 a month. My rent is just from student loans.) plus go to school full time so money is really tight for me. Thank you.
How old is your daughter and how long has it been since the two of you have had regular visitation?
 

EmmeRose

Member
Our current visitation is set as if I were living just a few miles away. That is for every other weekend. The reason why that can't work is that I'm now going to college full time and working part time in another state about 6 hours away. I hardly make any money because working only part time covers child support and about $200 a month extra spending which will hardly cover gas money to go get her.
The reason the every 6th week was "agreed" upon by both of us over the phone. Since for that weekend, I'd have to take off of work and over half of my pay check comes from the weekends, that is what we agreed on.

My daughter is in kindergarten and she is six years old. We got divorced when she was four because I got back from being away at Boot Camp for 6 months to my wife (at the time) leaving me to be with a guy she met online.
I barely ever see her and when I ask to see her, even make 2 month in advance plans to see her "something always comes up." I never get a "no" answer from my ex-wife. The answers are always "She is having trouble in school so now isn't a good time." or "We just moved into a new apartment down the street and she needs to readjust."
I actually don't even know where she lives at the moment. They recently moved about 10 miles away and when I asked for her address she said "if you need to see her, we can meet at a gas station. I don't want you knowing where I live so you can't just show up here unannounced."
I am her father, shouldn't I always know where she is living?
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Our current visitation is set as if I were living just a few miles away. That is for every other weekend. The reason why that can't work is that I'm now going to college full time and working part time in another state about 6 hours away. I hardly make any money because working only part time covers child support and about $200 a month extra spending which will hardly cover gas money to go get her.
The reason the every 6th week was "agreed" upon by both of us over the phone. Since for that weekend, I'd have to take off of work and over half of my pay check comes from the weekends, that is what we agreed on.

My daughter is in kindergarten and she is six years old. We got divorced when she was four because I got back from being away at Boot Camp for 6 months to my wife (at the time) leaving me to be with a guy she met online.
I barely ever see her and when I ask to see her, even make 2 month in advance plans to see her "something always comes up." I never get a "no" answer from my ex-wife. The answers are always "She is having trouble in school so now isn't a good time." or "We just moved into a new apartment down the street and she needs to readjust."
I actually don't even know where she lives at the moment. They recently moved about 10 miles away and when I asked for her address she said "if you need to see her, we can meet at a gas station. I don't want you knowing where I live so you can't just show up here unannounced."
I am her father, shouldn't I always know where she is living?
File in court. MOM is NOT allowed to keep her address from you unless the court order states that she can. Also file a police report. Did you check your daughter's school records? That will tell you where she is living.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
File in court. MOM is NOT allowed to keep her address from you unless the court order states that she can. Also file a police report. Did you check your daughter's school records? That will tell you where she is living.
I am confused by the "file a police report". Therefore the OP may be confused as well. You might want to clarify.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
I am confused by the "file a police report". Therefore the OP may be confused as well. You might want to clarify.
File a police report -- yeah I should have clarified. Dad should make the trip to the old address where mom lived according to the court and make a police report if mom is not there which shows that she has moved -- provided dad does not know where she moved to.

He can attempt to find that out by contacting his daughter's school and seeing what address is listed on the enrollment form, however.
 

CSO286

Senior Member
Dad--I am in MN as well. Are you aware that the forms you need to request a modification can be found free at Minnesota Judicial Branch ?
Follow the link: Court forms>>>Child Custody/parenting time>>>>>then pick the most applicable packet. (Probably the Motion to change cusotdy/parenting time.)

It will include the docs you needs to prepare as well as instructions on how and whom to serve. If you cannot afford the filing fees, look for the IFP (in Forma Pauperis), which is a request to waive the filing fees.

I have recently worked through this process. Feel free to PM me and I will do what I can to help.
 

milspecgirl

Senior Member
you may want to build up a little before you just start taking the child for weekends if you havent seen her in awhile.
And the Sat night thing from 7-8 for webcam? bad bad time. That means you cant make sat night plans and that also means that the child cant either. As the child gets older- this will be a HUGE DEAL
 

milspecgirl

Senior Member
i would also ask for something barring the child from calling anyone else mom or dad or any derivative of that.
that is a big pet peeve of mine
 

EmmeRose

Member
Yeah, the court records say the opposite. It says that both parties must keep the other informed of their addresses. She refuses to give it to me. I haven't filed a police report yet because I haven't even been in Minneapolis lately. (There is no point unless I know I can see my daughter.) She has changed schools twice now so I don't even know what school she attends or even the previous other two. My ex-wife doesn't want to tell me any of these things. Even though the court records clearly say that that information must be shared with me, I know none of it. All I have is her cell phone and email address.

Yeah, the Saturday phone call should change. What I sent her was more a rough draft so we could make changes together and agree on something. I'm just bummed that she didn't even say anything about it besides say she's not agreeing to it and she's not signing it.

Oh and the fact that she calls her b/f Daddy is just to get back at me. She rubs it in all the time when we talk over the phone. She'll say things like "Guess what, her REAL Dad bought her a bike today." She's told me things like my daughter doesn't know who I am and she wants it to stay that way. (That isn't true at all, I saw her for a few hours this past Christmas when I was in town and my ex reluctantly let me see her b/c she had to run a few errands and didn't want to pay for a babysitter. She came running to me, hugged me and yes, at first she called me by my first name but I asked her who I am and she said my Dad.) To my daughter, my ex calls me one of two things "D-bag" or my real name. It broke my heart when I heard "oh it's D-bag on the phone."

And thank you CSO286. I did know about those documents but my ex and I first agreed over the phone for me to just write that up and send it to her. Since that isn't working, I think I am going to start filing paperwork. I'm going to give her about a week to come up with her own like I asked her to. Since she says she didn't agree with mine, I'm having her come up with her own. If she doesn't get back to me, the paperwork ball will start rolling.
 

EmmeRose

Member
I just got an email from my ex a few hours ago and all it said was. "I'm going to write up my own visitation schedule but not until next week. Sorry."
Do you think I should wait to see her schedule or should I start the paperwork now? I mean, already she has made me wait this long to see my child, I guess a little while longer won't hurt my relationship with my daughter too much. I just don't want her to play her games with the "oh sorry, next week" and then the next week and next week. Should I email her back and tell her she has until June 1st or something like that so she knows that I will fill out the necessary paperwork then?
 

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