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Is it illegal for my 19 yo daughter and her 17 yo boyfriend to hold hands at school?

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dmcc10880

Member
I think we can drop the discussion about WA, PA, MD and wherever else we're talking about. OP is in OK and I provided the OK statutes. The parents need to show a risk of harm in order to get an RO.

Now, if the two are doing more than holding hands, it becomes a bit more possible. If they're having sex, it very well might be possible.
Fact is, they're holding hands. Second, even if they were having sex, the 17 year old's parents can't do anything about it. It's not criminal. And every day, that 17 year old gets a step closer to 18. Give me a break.
 


CdwJava

Senior Member
Fact is, they're holding hands. Second, even if they were having sex, the 17 year old's parents can't do anything about it. It's not criminal. And every day, that 17 year old gets a step closer to 18. Give me a break.
The age of consent does not mean that the parents lose control of their minor child. In fact, they are legally and fiscally responsible for the health of the child as well. If they are having sex, and this act encourages the child to act out of their control, then I would say that the likelihood of a RO become much more likely as they can show some potential risk of harm by encouraging the minor to disobey the parents.

Holding hands, no order. Anything more, I'd say an order is possible.

The age of consent is not a green light to override parental control, it merely means that an older party cannot get into legal jeopardy for the sex ... it doesn't say that the older party cannot get in trouble for encouraging or abetting a minor from being out of the control of their parents.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Age of consent in OK is 16 for intercourse. Holding hands? Give me a break. The boy's parents can't do anything.
Yes they can. They can file a criminal complaint for contributing to the delinquency of a minor. They can get a restraining order. They can totally mess with the adult's life who is with their MINOR child. Try to actually know the law.
 

dmcc10880

Member
Yes they can. They can file a criminal complaint for contributing to the delinquency of a minor. They can get a restraining order. They can totally mess with the adult's life who is with their MINOR child. Try to actually know the law.
Yeah. And try to have anyone enforce it. No police department will make an arrest. No DA will prosecute. Especially for holding hands. LOL
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Yeah. And try to have anyone enforce it. No police department will make an arrest. No DA will prosecute. Especially for holding hands. LOL
Actually for helping a child (the 17 year old) be unruly -- failure to listen to his parents -- is what needs proven. And yes, a DA will prosecute. Maybe not all of them but some will. Be careful of using those all or nothing words.
 

CdwJava

Senior Member
I dunno ... I suspect it might be hard to show that a 17-year-old holding hands at school with a 19-year-old fellow student is somehow harmful or encouraging the child to be unruly or out of control. I would not want to see a court slamming anyone for that, alone. Encouraging the minor lad to sneak out at night, not to come home after school, or some other actions - yes. Just holding hands at school, or perhaps on the way to or from school? No.
 

Alex1176

Member
Yes they can. They can file a criminal complaint for contributing to the delinquency of a minor. They can get a restraining order. They can totally mess with the adult's life who is with their MINOR child. Try to actually know the law.
Can you please be so kind and provide a link to a precedent for a case with "holding hands" or something similar that led to RO? And no, no 50 yo woman with 17 yo boy, not a 19 yo girl with 12 yo boy, and not a former relative with a minor. Just something similar to our case.
Thank you.
 
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Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Can you please be so kind and provide a link to a precedent for a case with "holding hands" or something similar that led to RO? And no, no 50 yo woman with 17 yo boy, not a 19 yo girl with 12 yo boy, and not a former relative with a minor. Just something similar to our case.
Thank you.
This is not your case. At. all. So no, I won't. We don't know what else the 19 year old girl is doing. She is around the boy and "encouraging" a relationship when she knows the boys parents are against it.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
This is not your case. At. all. So no, I won't. We don't know what else the 19 year old girl is doing. She is around the boy and "encouraging" a relationship when she knows the boys parents are against it.
That's right - you don't know what else the 19 year old girl is doing. The question involved simply whether they could hold hands in school.

As I've shown, OK does not allow for a restraining order unless there's risk of harm to the minor. Holding hands in school is not going to meet that standard. If they're doing more than holding hands, then there is clearly a possibility of a restraining order (obviously), but that wasn't the question.

In OK, a 17 year old is treated very much like an adult in many ways.
 

Alex1176

Member
This is not your case. At. all. So no, I won't. We don't know what else the 19 year old girl is doing. She is around the boy and "encouraging" a relationship when she knows the boys parents are against it.
"Our" is a way of speaking. We are talking about this case so it's "our" case.
Off course we don't know what else is going on. She maybe giving him drugs, drinking lemon vodka with him, or planning a run away to India to catch a tiger with bare hands. We don't know. All we know is that they are holding hands.
And in OK is not a ground for RO. Actually I'm not sure that in the other 49 states it's a good ground to RO, and I will be very thankful if one of the seniors will show me a link to a type of RO that can be issued without proving risk or harm to the minor, "just because I don't wont this 18 yo girl around my 17 and 11 month, 6.10 ft, 240 lb baby".
 

dmcc10880

Member
Can you please be so kind and provide a link to a precedent for a case with "holding hands" or something similar that led to RO? And no, no 50 yo woman with 17 yo boy, not a 19 yo girl with 12 yo boy, and not a former relative with a minor. Just something similar to our case.
Thank you.
Ohiogal won't provide this info you've requested because Ohiogal can't.
 

cbg

I'm a Northern Girl
Still waiting for either of you to provide a link to a law that says a 17 year old no longer has to follow his parents' directives.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
Still waiting for either of you to provide a link to a law that says a 17 year old no longer has to follow his parents' directives.
I don't know who you're referring to as "either of you", but if you're referring to me, I never said a 17 year old doesn't have to follow parents' directives.

My only position in this matter is the statement that the information I found says that a parent can't get a RO in OK unless there is danger to the child. And holding hands would not be danger to the child if that's all that happened.

The parents could still tell the kid to stay away - and could punish/take away privileges all they want, but I don't see that they could get an RO (unless there's a different statute that I missed).

There is also the possibility that some criminal charges could be made - such as corruption of a minor, but I'm having a hard time believing that a prosecutor would ever take the case of a 19 year old and 17 year old holding hands (again, unless they were doing more than that).
 

Alex1176

Member
Still waiting for either of you to provide a link to a law that says a 17 year old no longer has to follow his parents' directives.
It depends. If the parent direct the minor to jump off the roof he may not follow this rule. And I believe that if a parent does not allow the almost adult to hold hands with a young adult girl, there is something very wrong there. Not as jumping off the roof, but wrong.
 

cbg

I'm a Northern Girl
You still don't get it do you?

It isn't about holding hands or not holding hands. It never was. That's what the poster is using to try to make the situation sound silly. Not to mention trying to force the answer she wants to hear. And with you, it's worked. She's succeeded in getting you to focus on holding hands and not the actual issue.

But what it's really about is whether the parents of a 17 year old have the right to say, You are not allowed to have contact with my minor child. And they do. Holding hands is just a symptom - it's not the entire situation.
 

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