Motion to add party? Ohiogal please help if you can! :)

[kik1999]

If your attorney represents BOTH you and him, she may have to withdraw from representing both of you if a conflict arises.

Hopefully, we should not have to worry about that. We have been able to resolve conflict regarding our daughter since our divorce in 2001. I'm not saying we've always been the best of friends, but in a situation like this, we agree 110% on what is best for our daughter. Besides, neither one of us want a court order with my mother for the next 4 1/2 years. I can almost bet that if that happens, I will spend the rest of my daughter's childhood in court fighting with her.

OG ~ our next court date is in Feb. Is it reasonable to assume that a report might be complete by then? My atty briefly explained the process (that he would probably meet with just me for an interview, then come to our home, then meet her teachers, etc.), but do GALs usually meet just once with the child or is each case different?

 

[Ohiogal]

Hopefully, we should not have to worry about that. We have been able to resolve conflict regarding our daughter since our divorce in 2001. I'm not saying we've always been the best of friends, but in a situation like this, we agree 110% on what is best for our daughter. Besides, neither one of us want a court order with my mother for the next 4 1/2 years. I can almost bet that if that happens, I will spend the rest of my daughter's childhood in court fighting with her.

OG ~ our next court date is in Feb. Is it reasonable to assume that a report might be complete by then? My atty briefly explained the process (that he would probably meet with just me for an interview, then come to our home, then meet her teachers, etc.), but do GALs usually meet just once with the child or is each case different?

It depends. But google Rule 48 of Superintendence in Ohio. That spells out what a GAL should do.

 

[kik1999]

It depends. But google Rule 48 of Superintendence in Ohio. That spells out what a GAL should do.

Will do. I greatly appreciate your time, your insight, and your assistance. Thank you very much!

 

[kik1999]

GAL interview and next steps

Another update. I met with the GAL individually at his office, and he also visited my daughter at home this past week, where he spoke with her alone. He also briefly spoke with my stepdaughter, as my husband has had primary custody of her for 8 + years, she is very familiar with Gma and the entire situation (for the last 8 years, any visits that took place with my daughter, my stepdaughter was also present). GAL informed me that he asked my daughter if she would be ok with monthly dinner dates, and she said absolutely NO. She said she wants nothing to do with her and I was very proud of the way she was able to articulate her feelings and reasons for not wanting to see Gma. My fear is that if we were to have a court order, we will spend what's left of my daughters "childhood" - 4 years - going back and forth to court on every possible thing she can think of just because they have the money to do so. This whole thing is about control for her.

Anyway...GAL said that he would be getting in contact with both attorneys about next steps? I have absolutely no idea how this went, what he thinks bout what my daughter and stepdaughter told him, except for the very first meeting I had with him he mentioned that he would definitely be considering that my daughter's father and I are competent, fit parents, whose wishes are for our daughter not to have visitation.

Next court date is first week of Feb. He did mention that maybe Gma would hear from an independent 3rd party that daughter wants nothing to do with her and she'll just go away? So, not sure if he's going to relay that info to her attorney or what? But I will definitely come back to update when I find out more information.

Hoping this gets resolved SOON! Happy New Year everyone!

 

[Ohiogal]

Anyway...GAL said that he would be getting in contact with both attorneys about next steps? I have absolutely no idea how this went, what he thinks bout what my daughter and stepdaughter told him, except for the very first meeting I had with him he mentioned that he would definitely be considering that my daughter's father and I are competent, fit parents, whose wishes are for our daughter not to have visitation.

Next court date is first week of Feb. He did mention that maybe Gma would hear from an independent 3rd party that daughter wants nothing to do with her and she'll just go away? So, not sure if he's going to relay that info to her attorney or what? But I will definitely come back to update when I find out more information.

Hoping this gets resolved SOON! Happy New Year everyone!

If the GAL's recommendation conflicts with the child's wishes, the court should appoint an attorney to represent the child's wishes. I know if I am GAL for a child I may inform counsel of the child's wishes and what I believe is in the best interest if I believe it can make for a resolution.

 

[kik1999]

If the GAL's recommendation conflicts with the child's wishes, the court should appoint an attorney to represent the child's wishes. I know if I am GAL for a child I may inform counsel of the child's wishes and what I believe is in the best interest if I believe it can make for a resolution.

Ok, so this GAL is an attorney too. So, would they appoint another separate attorney if the wishes conflict with his recommendations?

At this point, I don't know how a recommendation could be made FOR an order of visitation. Both parents are against, the child is against, child is doing amazingly well (socially, academically, etc.), there has been ZERO contact in 3 years, minimal contact in 5 years. I'd love to know how a case could be made that it is in the child's best interest to have visitation with Gma based on all of the above. But, I realize there is always a chance....

I'm still amazed that this didn't get dismissed in the first place. Even the custody motion hasn't been dismissed yet ~ it's still pending. Ugh!

 

[LdiJ]

Another update. I met with the GAL individually at his office, and he also visited my daughter at home this past week, where he spoke with her alone. He also briefly spoke with my stepdaughter, as my husband has had primary custody of her for 8 + years, she is very familiar with Gma and the entire situation (for the last 8 years, any visits that took place with my daughter, my stepdaughter was also present). GAL informed me that he asked my daughter if she would be ok with monthly dinner dates, and she said absolutely NO. She said she wants nothing to do with her and I was very proud of the way she was able to articulate her feelings and reasons for not wanting to see Gma. My fear is that if we were to have a court order, we will spend what's left of my daughters "childhood" - 4 years - going back and forth to court on every possible thing she can think of just because they have the money to do so. This whole thing is about control for her.

Anyway...GAL said that he would be getting in contact with both attorneys about next steps? I have absolutely no idea how this went, what he thinks bout what my daughter and stepdaughter told him, except for the very first meeting I had with him he mentioned that he would definitely be considering that my daughter's father and I are competent, fit parents, whose wishes are for our daughter not to have visitation.

Next court date is first week of Feb. He did mention that maybe Gma would hear from an independent 3rd party that daughter wants nothing to do with her and she'll just go away? So, not sure if he's going to relay that info to her attorney or what? But I will definitely come back to update when I find out more information.

Hoping this gets resolved SOON! Happy New Year everyone!

It really sounds to me like you have a GAL who truly understands both the law and the dynamics of a gpv suit. That is a true positive in this case because many GALs tend to treat gpv cases as similar to parent vs parent cases, and that becomes very problematic.

 

[kik1999]

It really sounds to me like you have a GAL who truly understands both the law and the dynamics of a gpv suit. That is a true positive in this case because many GALs tend to treat gpv cases as similar to parent vs parent cases, and that becomes very problematic.

I think so too, LdiJ. My attorney has worked with him previously, and she said that he was great. When he was explaining to me his responsibilities, he said he was to be the eyes and ears for the court and represent my daughters best interest. I asked him, with an EXTREME amount of respect, at what point my daughter's father and I became unable to determine what was in my daughter's best interest. It was at that time, that he explained he would definitely be taking that into consideration...that we were completely competent and fit, and obviously doing a good job up to this point. I stressed that my ex and I were examples of kids that were dragged through treacherous divorces when we were younger, and have made it our number one priority to ensure our daughter didn't get caught in the crossfire like we did.

He told me that my daughter said she absolutely didn't want to see Gma under any circumstances. I hope that Gma drops it once she hears that, but I don't have faith unfortunately.

So what next? He makes recommendations and the judge rules? I guess I should be asking my attorney...

Thank you all!

 

[LdiJ]

I think so too, LdiJ. My attorney has worked with him previously, and she said that he was great. When he was explaining to me his responsibilities, he said he was to be the eyes and ears for the court and represent my daughters best interest. I asked him, with an EXTREME amount of respect, at what point my daughter's father and I became unable to determine what was in my daughter's best interest. It was at that time, that he explained he would definitely be taking that into consideration...that we were completely competent and fit, and obviously doing a good job up to this point. I stressed that my ex and I were examples of kids that were dragged through treacherous divorces when we were younger, and have made it our number one priority to ensure our daughter didn't get caught in the crossfire like we did.

He told me that my daughter said she absolutely didn't want to see Gma under any circumstances. I hope that Gma drops it once she hears that, but I don't have faith unfortunately.

So what next? He makes recommendations and the judge rules? I guess I should be asking my attorney...

Thank you all!

Your GAL should be letting the judge know that your child absolutely does not want a relationship with grandma. That should either be the GAL's recommendation or the GAL should be giving the judge that information and explaining why the GAL disagrees with that being in the child's best interest. It seems very unlikely to me that your GAL wouldn't handle it properly.

Your child is a teenager and her wishes should seriously factor into both a GAL's recommendation and the judge's ruling on a gpv case. GPV cases are not about the grandparents or parents, they are about the children and potentially preserving important relationships between the children and grandparents. Clearly your child has no important relationship with this grandparent, therefore the GAL should not be recommending visitation...let alone custody.

 

[Ohiogal]

Your GAL should be letting the judge know that your child absolutely does not want a relationship with grandma. That should either be the GAL's recommendation or the GAL should be giving the judge that information and explaining why the GAL disagrees with that being in the child's best interest. It seems very unlikely to me that your GAL wouldn't handle it properly.

Your child is a teenager and her wishes should seriously factor into both a GAL's recommendation and the judge's ruling on a gpv case. GPV cases are not about the grandparents or parents, they are about the children and potentially preserving important relationships between the children and grandparents. Clearly your child has no important relationship with this grandparent, therefore the GAL should not be recommending visitation...let alone custody.

The GAL can put that in his report HOWEVER for the child's wishes to be communicated to the judge, quite frankly, the GAL or one of the parents SHOULD ask for an in camera for the child. The judge cannot accept hearsay of a child from a GAL.

 

[kik1999]

The GAL can put that in his report HOWEVER for the child's wishes to be communicated to the judge, quite frankly, the GAL or one of the parents SHOULD ask for an in camera for the child. The judge cannot accept hearsay of a child from a GAL.

OG, can you explain what normally happens next? From the way I understand it, the GAL's recommendation is due 7 days prior to our next court date. What happens if either side disagrees with the recommendation - which obviously one of us will? Do we wait for the judge to rule or how does that work? Is there a possibility that this could go to a trial of somesort? I'm trying to prepare for worst case scenario (actually, I'm trying to financially prepare too, as I know my retainer fee is dwindling, and after this next court date, we're going to have to probably shell out some more money if this goes on much further). Also wondering how it works if one side disagrees. I can't see how the GAL would recommend visitation for Gma, but I have to prepare for worst case.

Thanks for your time.

 

[Ohiogal]

OG, can you explain what normally happens next? From the way I understand it, the GAL's recommendation is due 7 days prior to our next court date. What happens if either side disagrees with the recommendation - which obviously one of us will? Do we wait for the judge to rule or how does that work? Is there a possibility that this could go to a trial of somesort? I'm trying to prepare for worst case scenario (actually, I'm trying to financially prepare too, as I know my retainer fee is dwindling, and after this next court date, we're going to have to probably shell out some more money if this goes on much further). Also wondering how it works if one side disagrees. I can't see how the GAL would recommend visitation for Gma, but I have to prepare for worst case.

Thanks for your time.

Its possible that this can go to trial. Especially if opposing counsel is up on the caselaw that states that in domestic cases a GAL cannot express the child's wishes for the truth of the matter asserted. That is reversible error for a court to accept the GAL's assertion as such. The safest thing to do would be to have YOUR attorney request an in camera of the child for her to express her wishes DIRECTLY to the court.

If one side disagrees, you go to trial. The GAL becomes a witness and testifies as to how he made his recommendations and to what his recommendations are.

 

[kik1999]

Its possible that this can go to trial. Especially if opposing counsel is up on the caselaw that states that in domestic cases a GAL cannot express the child's wishes for the truth of the matter asserted. That is reversible error for a court to accept the GAL's assertion as such. The safest thing to do would be to have YOUR attorney request an in camera of the child for her to express her wishes DIRECTLY to the court.

If one side disagrees, you go to trial. The GAL becomes a witness and testifies as to how he made his recommendations and to what his recommendations are.

As much as I hate to seem pessimistic, I suspect this is what will happen if the GAL recommends against visitation. This entire thing (for Gma) has never been about my daughter. It's been about what Gma wants and her belief that she is entitled to my daughter. And the fact that they have ungodly amounts of money, that they think they can bully me into getting what they want.

Thanks for the explanation. I will definitely ask my attorney to request an in camera interview with the court for daughter to express her wishes. I will, of course, continue to keep this thread updated. Thanks again.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Ohiogal, since the OP will be asking her attorney to file a motion for the child to appear in camera, would it make sense for her attorney to request that the other party pay her attorney fees?

 

[kik1999]

Ohiogal, since the OP will be asking her attorney to file a motion for the child to appear in camera, would it make sense for her attorney to request that the other party pay her attorney fees?

Thank you for bringing this up TinkerBelleLuvr, because I was wondering about that very thing. Especially since this has been my position since the beginning. Although I am aware that no one is allowed to ask the child her wishes, Gma asked for visitation for the holidays and the magistrate asked what the general issue was. My attorney stated that we (the parents) were honoring daughter's wishes, as she was very uncomfortable with new step grandpa, and Gma now too since basically not having a relationship with her for the last 5 years. I have been begging my attorney to ask for attorney's fees since day one. I didn't know if that was decided at the end of the case or what, since I had to come up with my half of the GAL's fees within 14 days of him being assigned.