Motion to add party? Ohiogal please help if you can! :)

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Thank you for the update. Please come back with any questions that you might have.

 

[kik1999]

Have your attorney fight that as your ex is available to be found as he has a relationship with his child. Correct? If she serves him by publication, he may never know about anything and lose on defending his rights.

This is great info OG, as I have not yet spoken with my attorney since I discovered that my mother filed to have him served by publication (I check my case online quite frequently). You are correct, my ex has a very involved relationship with our daughter and I was wondering how in the world he was supposed to be made aware of the notice by publication in our state/county, if he lives 600 miles away.

 

[Ohiogal]

This is great info OG, as I have not yet spoken with my attorney since I discovered that my mother filed to have him served by publication (I check my case online quite frequently). You are correct, my ex has a very involved relationship with our daughter and I was wondering how in the world he was supposed to be made aware of the notice by publication in our state/county, if he lives 600 miles away.

Also if your ex has facebook or email or anything online, he can be found. Only after that has been exhausted should they be permitted to do that. Then if they do that, make sure that YOU let your ex know and have him get his butt up to Ohio.

 

[kik1999]

Also if your ex has facebook or email or anything online, he can be found. Only after that has been exhausted should they be permitted to do that. Then if they do that, make sure that YOU let your ex know and have him get his butt up to Ohio.

Oh he has both email and a FB account. He also is employed by the same company that he's been with since 2004, as part of the reason he moved from OH to NC is because of a transfer with his employer. The address that they had for him in NC was actually an old warehouse his employer used to own.

My ex has stated on multiple occasions that he will be here for any/all hearings necessary because he wants to defend the accusations she is claiming against me, but more importantly, we want to make it known that we are 100% aligned on this situation. I thank God everyday for our successful, amicable co-parenting relationship.

 

[kik1999]

Hearing next week

I know this thread has gotten rather long, but I wanted to include because this is still the same issue. We have our first hearing next week. I'm starting to get nervous, but it's just because I have never been in a family court scenario except to sign my divorce papers in 2001, that was non-contested and over in 10 minutes. I guess I'm just looking for advice as to what to expect maybe? Yes, I am represented by counsel.

As of now, my mother has not been able to personally serve my ex, so she has filed for service by publication, and from what I can tell they have followed the correct procedure. I am going to talk to my attorney (per y'all's suggestion) about how they did not exhaust all avenues to find him, as he does have a relationship with our daughter, and even though he lives out of state, he is on Facebook, has an email address...heck, he even has the same employer since 2004, he's just relocated from Ohio to NC. But, I don't know how that is going to pan out....I guess we will find out next week by whether or not the case moves forward. From what I understand, this is where the judge will decide whether or not to dismiss the entire petition, correct? Should I sit in on a few hearings this week, or is that pointless since this is a GPV suit, and most hearings are not similar? Since I am represented, does the judge usually talk to the attorneys only, or should I be prepared to answer questions? I'm sorry, I know this isn't legal advice per se, I'm just starting to get a little nervous.

Thanks everyone. Hope everyone had a safe and happy Thanksgiving with their loved ones!

 

[Ohiogal]

I know this thread has gotten rather long, but I wanted to include because this is still the same issue. We have our first hearing next week. I'm starting to get nervous, but it's just because I have never been in a family court scenario except to sign my divorce papers in 2001, that was non-contested and over in 10 minutes. I guess I'm just looking for advice as to what to expect maybe? Yes, I am represented by counsel.

As of now, my mother has not been able to personally serve my ex, so she has filed for service by publication, and from what I can tell they have followed the correct procedure. I am going to talk to my attorney (per y'all's suggestion) about how they did not exhaust all avenues to find him, as he does have a relationship with our daughter, and even though he lives out of state, he is on Facebook, has an email address...heck, he even has the same employer since 2004, he's just relocated from Ohio to NC. But, I don't know how that is going to pan out....I guess we will find out next week by whether or not the case moves forward. From what I understand, this is where the judge will decide whether or not to dismiss the entire petition, correct? Should I sit in on a few hearings this week, or is that pointless since this is a GPV suit, and most hearings are not similar? Since I am represented, does the judge usually talk to the attorneys only, or should I be prepared to answer questions? I'm sorry, I know this isn't legal advice per se, I'm just starting to get a little nervous.

Thanks everyone. Hope everyone had a safe and happy Thanksgiving with their loved ones!

Based on what you have stated, you should argue that service is not proper by publication. However it would help if he was there to state that he is easily found. You might have to answer questions. You may be asked if you know how to contact your ex. Then you answer truthfully that you do. Always be truthful in the court. Grandma has never asked you his address has she?

 

[kik1999]

Based on what you have stated, you should argue that service is not proper by publication. However it would help if he was there to state that he is easily found. You might have to answer questions. You may be asked if you know how to contact your ex. Then you answer truthfully that you do. Always be truthful in the court. Grandma has never asked you his address has she?

No, she has never asked me for his address. I haven't spoken with her in 3 years....at that time, he lived in the state (Ohio). He has since moved. She knows he is in NC, as she tried to serve him at a bad address in NC - it was actually a warehouse for his work that had been shut down...how they have that address is unbeknownst to me. I will definitely have my attorney argue that service is not proper by publication. Yes, I will be truthful and only answer the question that has been asked, not give a long elaborate "story" to questions.

Ohiogal, if the judge decides to move forward and accept service by publication, at that time what happens? I just don't understand how these hearings typically go, or what info is usually brought up at these first hearings. Or does the judge just rule based on what she has filed and my answer?

By the way, he has been at his current address for over 2 years if that matters.

 

[Ohiogal]

No, she has never asked me for his address. I haven't spoken with her in 3 years....at that time, he lived in the state (Ohio). He has since moved. She knows he is in NC, as she tried to serve him at a bad address in NC - it was actually a warehouse for his work that had been shut down...how they have that address is unbeknownst to me. I will definitely have my attorney argue that service is not proper by publication. Yes, I will be truthful and only answer the question that has been asked, not give a long elaborate "story" to questions.

Ohiogal, if the judge decides to move forward and accept service by publication, at that time what happens? I just don't understand how these hearings typically go, or what info is usually brought up at these first hearings. Or does the judge just rule based on what she has filed and my answer?

By the way, he has been at his current address for over 2 years if that matters.

Have your attorney argue that service has not perfected and publication should not have been acceptable because grandmother did not exercise proper due diligence by not even asking you if you knew his address. As such the court has not obtained jurisdiction over this case and the hearing cannot proceed. Also request that grandma be responsible for your attorney fees. But yes, only answer the questions that have been asked.

 

[kik1999]

Have your attorney argue that service has not perfected and publication should not have been acceptable because grandmother did not exercise proper due diligence by not even asking you if you knew his address. As such the court has not obtained jurisdiction over this case and the hearing cannot proceed. Also request that grandma be responsible for your attorney fees. But yes, only answer the questions that have been asked.

Ok, will do. I think I might go to our judge's courtroom one day this week, and just sit and watch.

One other question. If the judge does accept the publication service for my ex, does he (my ex) have a certain amount of time to answer like I did? Just wondering, as publication was just completed on 11/15.

I had planned on asking for attorney fees ~ she (by her own admission and her husband's bragging), has a large amount of disposable income. I am a student, and we are supporting our family of 4 on my husband's income. Also is my ex, supporting his family of 5 on one income, because his wife is terminally ill.

Thanks again. Fingers crossed!!!

 

[Ohiogal]

Ok, will do. I think I might go to our judge's courtroom one day this week, and just sit and watch.

One other question. If the judge does accept the publication service for my ex, does he (my ex) have a certain amount of time to answer like I did? Just wondering, as publication was just completed on 11/15.

I had planned on asking for attorney fees ~ she (by her own admission and her husband's bragging), has a large amount of disposable income. I am a student, and we are supporting our family of 4 on my husband's income. Also is my ex, supporting his family of 5 on one income, because his wife is terminally ill.

Thanks again. Fingers crossed!!!

Let your ex know that he was served publication and have him file an answer disputing service by publication due to the fact that he has lived at the same address for two years, has kept the mother of his child informed of his address, he has worked at the same employer for several years and that he wants to participate fully in this suit as he disputes grandparent visitation. Have him answer IMMEDIATELY if possible. Of course, this is assuming he is disputing grandparent visitation.

 

[kik1999]

Let your ex know that he was served publication and have him file an answer disputing service by publication due to the fact that he has lived at the same address for two years, has kept the mother of his child informed of his address, he has worked at the same employer for several years and that he wants to participate fully in this suit as he disputes grandparent visitation. Have him answer IMMEDIATELY if possible. Of course, this is assuming he is disputing grandparent visitation.

Ok. Will do. Yes, he disputes it. Thank you.

 

[kik1999]

Hearing this morning - GAL assigned

Ugh! This is NOT going how I wanted it to, but I guess if it must go forward, I am happy a GAL was assigned. That's what happened this morning, all motions are still pending, nothing was dismissed, although Gma is just pushing for visitation. The magistrate asked what the issue was, my atty explained it was step-grandpa and the fact that gma hasn't even seen our daughter in 3 years. (and the fact I do NOT want a court order with my own freaking mother regarding my child). Gma was trying to push for visitation for the holiday. My attorney told her that she's had 3 years, why all of a sudden is it urgent to get visitation for the holiday? I don't think my mother realizes that she is NOT my child's mother!! This was the problem I've had with her from the start. This delusional woman thinks she is a freaking parent!

So now I wait for the GAL to contact me (or if I don't hear anything, I contact him - it is a him). Based on this, I don't know if I should be concerned or not? The whole point is to prove that NOT having visitation with Gma would be detrimental to my child, correct?

This is not a little kid we are talking about ~ she is a dang teenager.

 

[Ohiogal]

Ugh! This is NOT going how I wanted it to, but I guess if it must go forward, I am happy a GAL was assigned. That's what happened this morning, all motions are still pending, nothing was dismissed, although Gma is just pushing for visitation. The magistrate asked what the issue was, my atty explained it was step-grandpa and the fact that gma hasn't even seen our daughter in 3 years. (and the fact I do NOT want a court order with my own freaking mother regarding my child). Gma was trying to push for visitation for the holiday. My attorney told her that she's had 3 years, why all of a sudden is it urgent to get visitation for the holiday? I don't think my mother realizes that she is NOT my child's mother!! This was the problem I've had with her from the start. This delusional woman thinks she is a freaking parent!

So now I wait for the GAL to contact me (or if I don't hear anything, I contact him - it is a him). Based on this, I don't know if I should be concerned or not? The whole point is to prove that NOT having visitation with Gma would be detrimental to my child, correct?

This is not a little kid we are talking about ~ she is a dang teenager.

You don't have the burden to prove anything. What happened regarding service on dad? Did he show? Was the court made aware that HE is available and able to be found if grandma would attempt to find him?

 

[kik1999]

You don't have the burden to prove anything. What happened regarding service on dad? Did he show? Was the court made aware that HE is available and able to be found if grandma would attempt to find him?

Yes the court was aware that he was available, but the service by publication was granted and the motion to add her as a party was granted too. My attorney said that she will represent both of us, and he would have some paperwork that he would have to sign indicating that we are in agreement, but if anything would change in the future, she would remove herself from representing him, and he would have to find his own counsel.

I am so freaking frustrated at this! I wasn't in the courtroom with the magistrate (neither party was). The attorneys went in without us, and my attorney came out and told me since I disagree with everything they've filed, they have assigned a GAL, and our next court date is in February. All motions are still pending, I thought at least the custody would be dismissed.

 

[Ohiogal]

Yes the court was aware that he was available, but the service by publication was granted and the motion to add her as a party was granted too. My attorney said that she will represent both of us, and he would have some paperwork that he would have to sign indicating that we are in agreement, but if anything would change in the future, she would remove herself from representing him, and he would have to find his own counsel.

I am so freaking frustrated at this! I wasn't in the courtroom with the magistrate (neither party was). The attorneys went in without us, and my attorney came out and told me since I disagree with everything they've filed, they have assigned a GAL, and our next court date is in February. All motions are still pending, I thought at least the custody would be dismissed.

If your attorney represents BOTH you and him, she may have to withdraw from representing both of you if a conflict arises.